Kali stood over the dead guard. Philip was looking at her with a look of horror. As much as his plan had sounded nice, it was useless if they couldn’t get out of here.

Plus, she still had an engineering overall on her, albeit with blood on it in several places. She needed to clean it so she could blend in.

Philip on the other hand, was wanted. But she had an idea for that. An idea that just made her grin wider the more she thought about it. The worst part? She was pretty sure it would work.

**************************

“Oh come on Philip, don’t be a baby.” She said, rolling her eyes, while she was cleaning out the blood from her clothes.

“No! I refuse. That is a terrible idea!” He almost yelled.

“What does your skill say? I’m right aren’t I? It’s a great idea.” She couldn’t stop herself from grinning from ear to ear. It was both a hilarious idea, and the best one to be able to walk about on the ship undetected.

“What my skill says can’t be trusted. I should know, it’s led me astray several times just today!” He finished weakly. She was throwing tattered clothes at him.

“Oh come on, hurry up, we don’t know how much time we have, unless you want to be stuck here forever, you better start changing.” She said in a more serious tone.

Philip looked defeated but was complying, slowly, and whining all the while. They would still need to make him harder to recognize. His hair was long enough to pull back for that slick ugly look she hated. But, that meant if they simply let it all hang straight down, it would change his look a whole lot.

Also they needed to find something to hide his features, and she had just the thing.

She was done with cleaning up, and Philip almost looked ready. But as she thought, his face was still easy to recognize. Plus, slaves were never that clean. She smiled at what she was going to do.

“What are you doing?” He said nervously as she approached him with a huge grin.

“I’m putting in the finishing touches, [Slave]” He shuddered at the class name.

“Your face is not hidden, plus, slaves are never that clean. So we are going to dirty up your face. It will hide your features enough, plus it will make it believable.” Philip was spluttering, the idea seemed to revolt him, but he couldn’t seem to find a good response.

************************

Philip looked on in horror as Kali was running her hand on a greasy mechanical part, coming out black and yucky, then slowly advancing on him with that evil grin on her face.

She was enjoying this way too much! Reluctantly, he had to admit the idea had merit, but she was taking this too far. Could she just make him dirty with less dirty stuff?

Uhg, still, he accepted it this time simply because they were in a hurry. If anyone thought to check in with the guard and realize something was wrong, he didn’t know how fast they would respond.

His guess was five minutes, which was the worst case scenario. Realistically? They probably had time, what with the power struggle that would ensue when both the captain and his second were not there to take things into their capable hands.

Meaning, useless drivel would seek out to take control and secure the seat of captain. It was a fairly big ship, and the Birds Of Prey were known to reward competence, and bloody competition.

Try it as he may, his thoughts barely distracted him from all the grime Kali was putting on his face and clothes. Ripping the thing to create that ragged look. That slave look.

That he would be reduce to cosplay as a slave in this life was beyond him. He really had lost everything he had tried to build these last few years. It had been supposed to be his big break. To show the world and the organization that he was both competent and ruthless. His genius, finally recognized.

It was tiresome to be the smartest guy in every room he was in, but such was his curse. Plagued by incompetent bufoons wherever he went, barely managing to correct their idiotic mistakes.

Kali pulled back to admire her work and he could see the huge grin forming on her face at her work. He knew he looked destitute, but he held his back straight and chin up. This was only temporary, fake. It didn’t mean anything.

“You can’t be a slave and look all proud like that Philip.” She playfully chided him.

“I may look like a slave, but I will never be one. I hope that’s clear.” He said in a firm and autoriarian voice.

“Agreed. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.” She responded with more emotions than he had previously seen on her.

“No but seriously, people will recognize your face if you keep your head up. Look at your feet, curve your back a bit, try to look miserable. I know it’s new to you, but I’m sure your acting is on par with your intelligence.” Well at least she seemed to appreciate his genius. It was rare for someone to be smart enough to even realize it.

Fine, he would play along. Of course his acting would be top notch. He was a genius after all.

As they walked along the hallways, it had been decided that they would try to find living quarters to hole up in. Plus they needed access to water and a food dispenser anyway if they wanted to stall.

Walking behind her in a submissive pose, he looked down while trying to nudge her in the right direction. He had debated going to the officers quarters to find a nice one, but Kali had deemed it too risky.

Sadly, he could nudge her over there, but if she didn’t want to stay there, he couldn’t really do anything about it if he was to play the slave. So he had given in, but only because it couldn’t be helped this time.

So they wandered towards the crew quarters. They had of course swiped the keycards of both Marco and his goons. The plan was to find one of their rooms.

Logically, they would be the nicer of the crew quarters as they had been licking Marco’s ass, so they were going by the different rooms of the ‘upper floor quarters’, trying the doors discreetly.

He couldn’t really see everything that was happening as he wasn’t supposed to look around, and leave that to Kali, but they probably looked fairly suspicious, going from door to door.

As if on cue, someone yelled at them from further up in the hallway.

“Hey! What are you doing?” It was a slender lizard woman, if his quick glance could be trusted. And pretty curvy too.

He was almost tempted to reminisce about his first lizard woman conquest. She had been a handful, but fun in bed. No, now was not the time.

“Hello! I was told to bring a slave to a room of the upper floor quarters, but I forgot the number… You wouldn’t know where Robin lives, would you?” She said in a cherry and chipper tone so unlike her, Philip was shocked.

“Robin? I’m not sure… why would he want you to bring a slave?” The lizardwoman questionned, still not sure about all of this.

“Well, he said he needed a hand to test something, and that I shouldn’t worry as it would also help the slave!” She responded.

“I’m sorry, I know I can be such a pain to deal with, you know, people always tell me I’m such a clutz or an airhead. But I’m trying, you know! I didn’t even get more than a light concussion from my fall when the thrusters malfunctioned. And–” Before she could continue, the lizard woman put up a hand to stop her.

“I–” The lizard woman started, but got interrupted.

“I know! Maybe you can help me find the right door? That would be so helpful. We could even chat while we look! Oh it would be so much more fun than to look around all on my lonesome. But wait, silly me, maybe you don’t have the time? Please say you can.” Kali finished while probably making an overly cute kind of face. Philip couldn’t actually look at the whole interaction, he could barely believe how bad Kali was at acting.

It didn’t sound natural at all! He was sure the other woman would see right through her. Philip even began to look at his own getup, thinking maybe she hadn’t done such a great job. He should have taken this whole infiltration business in his own hands.

He prepared himself to take down the threat quietly when she said the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“Oh, you know I would have loved to help you but, uh, I have a lot to do right now. Lots going on right? Sorry! I’ll leave you to it.” The lizard woman said as she fled the scene.

How? That had been such poor acting! Well, maybe he shouldn’t be too surprised. Other people were very often stupid, he should know. But still. Had he been hoping she failed?

No, of course not, but it honestly was what he had expected. Yet time and time again she proved to be incredibly lucky. Maybe she had a luck based class? [Gambler] or another variant? That must be it.

As her luck would have it, the next door they tried actually worked. Philip couldn’t believe it. It was like the universe was simply on her side or something.

As they walked into the room, Philip finally adopted a normal posture again and took a look around. Damn, it was both small and disgusting. The guy had left dirty clothes on the floor, there were old stains on the sink.

Uhg.

In the mirror however there was a beautiful face looking back at him. His, of course, but not his current reflection. His picture, on a wanted poster. They hadn’t chosen his best picture, but still, it was a pretty good one.

He really had a nice nose. Some would say it was a bit long, but that was nonsense. It was the perfect length, other people simply had inferior noses, probably couldn’t smell things as well as him.

His clean shaven jaw was maybe slimmer than most, but it suited him. Well, he was famous now, even if it was for a different reason that he had hoped.

It was there, in big red letters: WANTED: Philip Loxel. Dead or alive. Ten thousand gold.

Wait. Ten thousand? TEN THOUSAND?

System take them all! He was fucked! Well and properly fucked! With a bounty of that size, he could only pray to live until the end of the year!

“Damn, you really have a big nose.” Kali commented as she looked between him and his picture.

“Kali, now is not the time for jokes.” He said, still in shock.

“It wasn’t really a joke, but sure…” She mumbled more to herself.

“I’m a dead man.” He said, frozen, jaw slack.

“Not from where I’m standing?” She asked, unsure of what was going on. How could she not understand?

“Don’t you see? A bounty of ten THOUSAND GOLD Kali. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?” He screamed at her.

“Well, what did you think would happen? And do you really think I won’t have a bounty on my ass too? Just calm down and let’s get off this ship first.” Did she not realize?

Did she not understand what a bounty of that size meant? It felt like he couldn’t compute her stupidity. He couldn’t understand why she was still cool and collected. When you saw that kind of bounty, you panicked! It was the appropriate response!

“Well, there are three ways to get rid of bounties.” She said, looking at his wanted poster. He turned to her, and she turned towards him.

“One, pay it off, or make a deal with whoever put it up.” She said, holding up a finger.

“Two, kill the manaless bastard.” She said as she raised another finger. She paused for effect, looking at him.

“And the third?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“You fake your death.” She said, like it was easy.

“Just fake your death huh?” He said, incredulously.

“Just FAKE, your DEATH! It’s that easy!” He knew he was yelling very loudly, but he couldn’t help it.

She said it like it was easy! Outrageous is what it was. Might as well propose his own plan to become emperor of Dust while they were at it! Did she think all he had to do was play dead and things would work out?

“Look, I’m not saying it’s easy.” She defended herself at his outburst and look of incredulity.

“Of course it’s not easy! I’d even argue it’s very hard! As you can see, I’m not dead, and convincing anyone that I am without some kind of high level alchemist or something is going to be very hard indeed.” He was slowly calming down. Her last comment had at least showed him she wasn’t completely delusional.

“Look, I may have an idea, but I’ll need to look around, meaning I need to know as much as possible about the ship, how it works, what would be a believable story, etc.” She said.

Well, it certainly didn’t cost him anything to send her into the thick of things, and if she managed to find a way out or something, even better.

“All right. I’ll tell you what I know.” He decided after a pause. He sat up a bit straighter and took on a lecturing tone.

“So, first things first, this ship is under the authority of Birds of Prey. They are pirates, slave traders, smugglers and more. The crew is divided into three categories…”

*******************************

Kali had tried really hard not to fall asleep while Philip was droning on and on about everything she needed to know. Most of it was useless fluff, but she did get some good information.

Her stunt with the lizard woman had apparently leveled up her [Infiltrator] class. Hopefully it would help her to blend in. She was toying with an idea to fake Philip’s death.

Not only that, but they also needed to escape afterwards. The best way to escape was clearly to simply fake his death, so no one was looking anymore, and simply walk off on the next station.

Taking a ship and leaving was… risky. They would obviously know something was wrong if someone just took a ship.

The issue she had was that it would work for the two of them, but not for all of the slaves. Plus, she wasn’t sure how keen they were on trying to escape again after over twenty of them had died last time.

That was also something she needed to check on.

But first things first. She needed a friend, someone to cover for her. Philip had told her that the crew was large enough that most people didn’t know each other, meaning she could easily just walk around.

The problem was if someone started asking her questions, she would be unable to answer them, so she wanted to fake being new to engineering, and get someone gullible to help and have her back, story wise.

She still had the engineering overall from her escape, and had washed off the blood, and made it look decent. Still, the problem was finding the right person. She only had one shot.

Why did she have to find the right person though? Maybe the best way was to set up a situation in which the right person would find her?

Her mind set, she steeled herself and walked out the room. Time to work her magic.