Jason watched Satara even when he didn't meant to.

Not in a creepy way. She drew his attention and half of the time he wasn't even sure why. He had watched Derek too, back in his first years of high school, and the habit had saved him from unnecessary trouble most of the time. With Satara, it had helped him become a better friend. He could tell when someone or something tapped into the well of anger hidden beneath the calm surface of her features. He knew what it meant when her lips parted in a smile yet her eyes closed like double doors.

And right now he knew without a doubt Satara hadn't been okay for a long time.

Even before her sister had come back to mess up her life again. If anything, Saytarnia's return had popped the pressure swelling inside his friend like a doctor lancing a boil and the acidic contents of the well within her spilled out in all directions.

She had hurt people in the past without remorse but started to learn damage control soon after starting their Mixed Martial Arts classes. By the time they met, living with the Langs had taught her how to arrange flowers around her wooden words if only for the sake of other people. And over time the dragon inside her fell into a deep sleep.

But the fight in the clinic seemed to have roused it once again and something else had been bothering her ever since.

Is it really Sin that she's finding too hard to carry? Jason tried to keep an eye on her and hold onto her cousin at the same time. The hiking bag was a lot heavier without the aid of Sinastar's zai but he kept that bit of information to himself. She'll try and take it off me.

Melissa took the lead, cheerfully eating her ice cream as if this as a perfectly normal day for her, and they followed her down a shaded side road. I could do with a Cornetto right now. A nice mint one. A second road ahead maintained the steady hum of vehicle engines and the leaves above them rustled in an intermittent. She stopped before they reached the road, presumably where he house was, and turned into an off street parking space between two rows of houses. Before he could ask, she motioned towards a grey fence with the remains of her ice cream cone, then at two houses on either side of it and mouthed the word neighbours.

It really is just a stereotype, isn't it? Satara was distracted by another side road behind them that appeared to tilt down towards more houses and didn't catch his sheepish glance.

“What?” He tried to mute the trepidation in his tone but her attention snapped back to him as if he had failed. “Is someone following us?”

She shook her head but her fingers flexed around Sinastar's wrist. “I think it was just a bird.”

“If they start sending birds after us, I'm done.” I don't even know who they are any more. I doubt those guys were working for Saytarnia. Her taste's a bit more fiery. But that'd mean we've really got someone else on our tails and that's the last thing we need right now.

“Me too, to be honest.” Satara's expression rarely seemed fake but the deliberate yet tight curve of her mouth was nowhere near authentic.

Did she just joke about admitting defeat? Damn, it's worse than I thought. Up ahead, Melissa dragged open a grey wooden gate and disappeared into the back garden behind it. Judy waited for them and watched them stagger through it with Sinastar. She hadn't said anything since she offered to carry Sinastar and Satara icily rejected her help. Melissa had finished her ice cream and now held the gate open, closing it as soon as they were all inside.

The lawn, and garden in general, could have done with some maintenance but its tipped over plant pots, sparse weeds, and clean double swing set made it look like it had been lived in and loved despite everything else. A chair that belonged to a duck green patio table in the shade of the house stood at an angle. Someone had placed a half empty glass with a lemon in it and an open book face down on the table.

Melissa peered into glass as she walked past it. “No bugs. She's probably just gone to the bathroom or something.”

His relief upon hearing the gate rattle shut behind them vanished and the thought of meeting Melissa's mum dried out his mouth. Unlike Judy, she didn't know Sinastar and had nothing to do with their problems. What if she finds out what happened in the clinic? We didn't tell Melissa to keep her mouth shut about zai either, though it's not like she knows what it is either. But she definitely knows someone died and she's got no reason to cover for Sin.

“The neighbours are a bunch of nosy gits.” She opened the rear door and kept it open as they trudged into the house. “Mum can keep a secret but if they think anything weird's going on they'll call the police.”

“You sound like – it's happened before,” he panted. Someone needs to tell her she's got chocolate on her face.

“To be fair, it's worked it well for us a couple of times,” she admitted and her blue eyes darted away from his. “But I'm pretty sure they weren't trying to help.”

“Nice.” Jason chuckled breathlessly but swallowed the sound as Satara glanced in his direction. She's probably looking at Sin though, not me.

She clearly hadn't recovered from her zai overuse and her stare had flattened in that shark-like way that used to scare him during the early days of their friendship. Now it was just a warning sign and she wasn't necessarily plotting his imminent or excruciating death. If I'm worried about the police, she must be ready to breathe fire by now. Good thing we're going inside.

The dining room had wood texture linoleum floors and a long forest green couch that looked long enough for Sinastar to lie on. There was a small, round, white and beech dining table with four chairs opposite the open kitchen on the right and a large mounted mirror that reflected both. We look like a mess. Before their reflections could depress him further, Melissa reached the door at the other end of the room.

“Mum!” She leaned out through the opening. “Muuuum? Are you here?”

A door opened upstairs and a surprisingly vehement urge to swear rose up his throat like vomit. Satara's arm, pressed between his and Sinastar's back, stiffened as she held onto the opposite side of his waist. His own fingers clenched a handful of her cousin's artfully destroyed T-shirt as footsteps sounded above and someone started walking down the stairs. Forget the nosy neighbours. If she thinks we're trouble, it's game over for us. The police'll come and there's no way we can get away from them again. Not with Sin half dead and Tara looking like something from The Walking Dead.

“Mella, is that you?” asked a woman as if she already knew the answer.

He exchanged glances with Satara, who swallowed hard but held his gaze with more strength than expected. Melissa looked back at them, then caught Judy's eye.

“You can put him down now,” said the therapist.

Neither of them moved as she joined Melissa and both went into the hallway.

“Judy?” The previous confusion in Melissa's mum's voice tightened into disquiet. “I didn't know you were coming over.”

“Neither did I.” Judy laughed and it almost sounded natural.

“Is everything okay? I didn't know you were supposed to be at the clinic today, Mella. Why didn't you just tell me instead of leaving in a huff –”

“I wasn't supposed to but –” Melissa's voice grew sullen. “– things happened.”

In a huff? Did she argue with her mum? Jason suddenly remembered her dishevelled hair, the creases in her clothes, and the familiar anxiety she wore like a second skin until he spoke to her outside the clinic and she pulled on a more socially acceptable mask. So it wasn't because I scared her? She must've had a reason for coming to see Judy without an appointment.

He had left the house and gone for a run after arguing with his own parents too many times to count but had always come back once the adrenalin left his system. Satara had once informed him of the physical and psychological affects of an unreleased adrenalin rush but never directly told him her own method of dealing with them, though she had briefly alluding to meditation a few times. Nostalgia coiled around his neck like the dread around his ribs and he didn't have a free hands to massage either of them.

“What things?” An edge crept into her mum's tone despite her neutral questions. “Is that why Judy's here?”

“Yeah. This one's all on me, Pam,” said Judy at once. “Not Mella. I kind of need a massive favour.”

“Sure, what is it?” Pam plastered a laugh across her answers. “Why do you both look like you're hiding something back there?”

“We're not hiding them exactly.” Judy lowered her voice. “The thing is –”

“Some of Judy's friends need to lay low for a while and I said they could stay here.” Melissa edged backwards until they could see her messy plait and panic crept into her rapid explanation. “One of them's hurt really bad but you can't call the ambulance or tell anyone they're here, okay?”

“Hurt really bad?” Pam finally entered the dining room.

Jason hoped he hadn't accidentally scratched Sinastar as Melissa and Judy stepped back to reveal them. Yo, this really isn't funny. His breathing seemed loud enough to blow off the roof. I'm gonna be sick. Pam covered the tell tale gape of her mouth with a hand as if mimicking her daughter and Judy.

“Oh my!” She smiled as if there was nothing weird about having an unconscious guy and two strung out teenagers in her house without permission. “I guess introductions can wait for now. What happened to your friend? That looks really bad –”

She tilted her head to peer at Sinastar's face and her brows raised as she noticed the barely disguised blood on his clothes.

“You should put him down already,” said Melissa, indicating Sinastar then the couch. “Before you all fall over.”

Satara's expression hardened but she moved until their backs were parallel to the seats and they slowly lowered Sinastar into a sitting position. She lifted his legs onto the cushion while Jason eased his upper body until he was flat on his back. She still looked ready to burn the entire house down if she had a reason to suspect any of them had plans to pick up a phone or reveal their location.

“This is Pam, Melissa's mum,” said Judy once they turned to face her again, gesturing at the slightly older-looking lady with stylishly shaggy dark blonde hair and brown eyes that couldn't conceal her mixed feelings. “Pam, this is Satara and Jason.”

We probably should've given her fake names. Woops. Satara's mouth opened a second too late as if she had thought the same.

“And the young man on the settee?” Pam moved towards him but stopped as if she sensed the invisible line carved between them by Satara's aura.

Maybe I should stick a label on her. Sweet but savage. Cool yet corrosive. Something like that.

“You can just call him Spy.” Judy grimaced and waved at her friend's raised eyebrows. “He's not actually a spy. It's a just a nickname. But if you could act like he is and keep all this quiet, I'd really appreciate it.”

“Of course, of course. Anything I can do to help?”

“Hmm, I wanted to check his wounds so water and cotton pads might help.” Judy looked at Satara. “And maybe something to drink. They've come a long way.”

“And I'm starving,” said Melissa, kneading her stomach as she turned to them. “When's the last time you guys ate?”

“A couple of hours ago,” said Jason. It feels like it's been years.

Satara sank down onto the arm of the couch and carefully removed Sinastar's trainers. She took off her own as if her muscles ached and his heart fluttered as he did the same. We've gotta stay here. Even if it's not safe. At least until Sin wakes up.

“Okay. I'll make you some cheese toasties.” Melissa dragged chairs away from the dining table and formed a loose semicircle around the couch, then approached her mum as if she had forgotten whatever had happened that morning. “Do we have enough stuff? I can run to the shop if you want.”

“I think we're good,” said Pam with a mildly bewildered shake of her head. “Let me just grab the stuff for Judy and then I'll join you.”

“Need any help?” Jason paused, one hand on the back of the chair by Sinastar's head, as Satara sat on the one closer to his feet.

“Not from a hot mess.” Melissa bit her lip but recovered swiftly, gaze flitting between them. “If you want to go shower or – or use the bathroom or anything, I can show you where it is.”

“Go ahead.” Satara nodded at the door. “I don't need to go.”

She doesn't wanna leave Sin here alone with them. To be fair, I wouldn't either. Though the degree of their interest differed in type and intensity, Judy and her companions all had their eyes on Sinastar. Melissa's stare lingered on his face as if she wanted to look away but couldn't. Judy sat on the empty chair between him and Satara, and watched Sinastar barely breathe but didn't touch him, focused on the hole in his shirt. And Pam reminded him of how his science teacher, Mr Connolly, used weigh up chemicals as if he were trying to decide whether or not they would explode if he mixed them.

“I'll be right back,” he said to his friend, gesturing at the door. “After you.”

Melissa turned her back on him a little too fast with an awkward laugh. “This way.”

<><><><><>

I have to go back.

The thought plagued Satara almost as much as the veiled distrust in Pam's behaviour.

Even though there's nothing left to go back, I've still got to go.

She didn't understand why the urge to return to her old house – to the place where she had lived the greatest lie – was so strong. Stronger than her sense of danger. It nearly distracted her from Judy, who placed a bowl of water on Jason's vacant chair and reached for the bottom hem of Sinastar's ruined T-shirt.

Satara grabbed her by the wrist without a second thought. “What're you doing?”

“I'm – I'm just checking his wounds,” said the therapist once she recovered from the other's abrupt attack. She leaned closer and softened her voice. “I don't think Spy would want more people knowing about zai.”

That didn't stop you from revealing it to Melissa. Though I suppose that was a different situation.

“Do you think he'd want you to do it?”

“I think he'd rather not be covered in blood.” As if strengthened by familiar surroundings and company, the flashes of shameless indignation she had tried to hide previously now covered Judy's response.

“Really? I think he'd prefer it to whatever you were about to do.” Satara's eyes narrowed.

“What I was –” Judy reared back and her cheeks reddened as she wrested her arm free. “I'm not sure what you're thinking, Satara, but I'm a professional. I just want to make sure my patient's safe.”

Of course you do. And I like wearing pink dresses.

“He's not your patient,” growled the fifteen year old. “And even if he was, do you really think you're allowed to say stuff like that now?”

Judy released a puff of air that sounded like incredulous laughter and looked away. “I know you have a problem with me and I completely understand. But I told you this situation's very complicated and right now the most important thing is to make sure Spy is safe –”

“That's right.” She turned to the doorway as Jason reappeared. He paused, brows raised in a silent question. “Jayce, we need to change Sin – Spy's top.”

“Uh – okay?” He approached them, looking Judy's red face to hers. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just keeping him safe.” She dragged Sinastar's bag close to her seat and tried not to smirk as Judy rubbed her eyes. She paused like an animal on the edge of another's territory before opening it and carefully rifling through his belongings. “This one should work.”

She pulled out a plain black button up shirt and Jason took it from her, shaking his head. “These last few days have been hella weird but changing Si – Spy's clothes is gonna be the weirdest part.”

“Don't sound too happy about it.” She lowered her eyelids meaningfully and he waved the shirt menacingly over her head. Melissa set down a plate of sandwiches on the dining table and she spoke before the other girl returned to the kitchen. “Do you have a spare sheet? Or a towel?”

“Satara, I really don't think all this is necessary,” sighed Judy.

“Well I do.” She kept her gaze on Melissa. “Do you have one?”

“I'm – sure we do …” The other teenager glanced at Judy who shook her head but waved dismissively. “I'll go get it for you.”

“Thanks.” Satara followed her gaze. “You can check once he's dressed properly.”

“Everything okay over here?” asked Pam as Melissa left the room, drying her hands on a blue gingham tea towel.

“Yeah, everything's fine.” Judy faced her with a falsely bright smile. “I think we're all just a little tired and sensitive after everything that's happened today, that's all.”

Who's being sensitive? You nearly killed him. Sin trusted you and nearly died because of it, and we still don't know if he's going to make it. Satara kept quiet but the words built up in her chest. Her ribs felt like they would break again around them. He hasn't even opened his eyes yet and you're smiling? Just wait until we're in the clear –

“Tara,” murmured Jason. He brushed the back of her palm and the sensation of zai around her fist vanished as she met his uneasy eyes. “Can I – talk to you? After we've had lunch and everything?”

About what? She nodded instead of asking him. As long as we don't leave Sin alone with that traitor.

<><><><><>

The grilled cheese sandwiches were delicious despite the scent they spread all over the house. Melissa had added black pepper, salt, and traces of some kind of tomato paste before placing them in a sandwich toaster. Jason changed Sinastar's shirt and Satara had watched Judy like a hungry child afterwards to make sure she didn't see any more skin than she needed to.

Begrudgingly, the therapist quietly informed her that the wound seemed to be doing well without her help. She taped a cotton pad with antiseptic over the non-existent bullet wound to trick Pam before buttoning his shirt back up.

“You guys are staying the night, right?” asked Melissa, gesturing at Sinastar. “I mean, I doubt he's going to be leaving anytime soon.”

She had been suspiciously calm about possibly witnessing the death of a stranger, walking through a mini massacre, and discovering the existence of zai all in the same day.

“Mella.” Pam's tone was soft yet disapproving.

“What?” Melissa looked from her mum to Satara, eyes wide. “He's not well now but I didn't say he's not going to get better.”

“Still …” Since her altercation with Judy earlier, Pam seemed even more on edge about having three strangers in her house.

“If it's okay with you.” Jason left his sentence unfinished with a disarming smile before Satara could speak.

“Of course. Any friend of Judy is welcome here.” Pam smiled back at him. Tell that to the rest of your face. “Judy, you can sleep in my room and we can pull out the old camping bed for this room.”

“And Satara can sleep with me.” Melissa gulped as if she hadn't meant to say the words aloud, let alone with such honest enthusiasm.

Jason snickered under his breath and Satara pressed an elbow into his ribs until he stopped.

“You'd better not jump Sin during the night,” she muttered, raising her voice to answer Melissa. “I can sleep on the floor.”

“What? No way. I've got a double bed, if you don't mind shar-” She stumbled over the offer as if Satara had thrown it back at her feet. “– or I could just sleep on the floor. You guys need to rest properly after – after everything.”

“Mella,” said Judy as if the other girl were about to cry.

“I'll just go change the sheets.” Melissa cast her a quick smile. “Back in a sec.”

“You don't have to –” She fled the room before Satara could dissuade her.

Jason and the two adults exchanged swift, awkward glances and then pretended they hadn't. Why're they looking at me like that? It's not like I said anything mean to her. She made up her mind and ran off before I could even say no.

“Mind helping me with the camping bed, Ju?” Pam patted her friend on the back. “It's been a while since I've had to get it out and I'm not getting any younger.”

“Oh, stop it.” Judy tapped her on the shoulder and followed her out. “I won't have anyone saying thirty seven is old, not even the thirty seven year old herself.”

“I'll be forty in three years, you know …”

“Hey, don't take this the wrong way,” said Jason as their voices trailed off. “But you might wanna tone down all the 'kill everyone' vibes.”

“Is this about Judy again?” His serious expression crushed Satara's knowing smile instantly.

“Not just her. I don't think it's a good idea to make the other two feel like they're not safe in their own house.” He kept his distance but raised a hand as if he wanted to curl it around her elbow. “Especially when they're letting us stay here and especially when we're trying to stop them from calling the police.”

“What? You think I've done something to make them suspicious?” she demanded. “Aside from bringing a guy with blood all over him through their back gate?”

“I'm just saying we're a little low on ally material right now.” A smile strained around his features. “So we should probably be careful with the stuff we've already got.”

“So you think I should just act like Sin isn't lying there like that because he almost died for us today?” She pointed at her cousin's supine form. “You think those guys would've been able to touch him if he hadn't already let his guard down?”

“That's not what I'm saying,” he said stiffly, lowering his hand.

“Then what are you saying?” She dug the nails of her index fingers into her thumbs. “I should just play nice and pretend that Judy wasn't the one who put him in that position in the first place?”

“He was already kinda out of it before he got to the clinic, Tara.” He froze for a second and so did she. His next words tumbled out like marbles from a glass jar. “Crap, that's not what I mean –”

“Ah.” She tried to smile but knew she had ended up baring her teeth at him instead. “So I should just shut up because this is my fault too? You could've just said so, Jayce.”

“Oh my god, I told you that's not what I mean, didn't I?” He kneaded his forehead and turned away from her. “Why do you always think I'm saying the worst thing about you?”

“Why do you think?” She breathed in acid air and half choked on the droplets.

Before he could see her face, she pressed a fist to her mouth and twisted in the opposite direction.

Where Melissa stood in the doorway with her knuckles inches from the door and an apologetic shine to her gaze.

“Sorry. I just wanted to tell you everything's ready.” She licked her lips and her gaze darted towards Jason. “Do you want to borrow my pyjamas?”

“I doubt I'd fit in your pyjamas,” said Satara. She picked her bag up off the floor and slung it over her shoulder. “And I've got my own anyway.”

“Hey.”

She ignored the gravel in Jason's voice and dodged his outstretched hand. “'Night, Jayce.”

She left the room before he could answer. Melissa stepped hastily out of her way and followed her up the stairs. She pointed at a white door decorated with Bratz doll stickers on the right, opposite a room where Judy and Pam struggled with a folded camping bed. Several days ago, she might have offered to help them with it but now she wanted to throw the entire thing down the stairs and listen to it break. She wanted to run out through the back gate and never look back. She wanted Sinastar to open his dark eyes and hear the gentle hum of his voice again.

But I can't. She waited for Melissa to enter her bedroom first. I can't. I can't. I can't –

The walls were pale green and Satara stopped just past the threshold. Just like …

Satara stepped forward onto the mats and the day felt like pieces of various puzzles that wouldn't connect no matter how she positioned them. The short stretch of wall space above the windows was pale green and she wondered why she hadn't noticed that before. The door to the training hall opened and Carl turned towards it in sync with the eyes of his students.

“Ah, here … she is.”

At that moment the air rippled and she had to stop herself from covering her ears with both hands.

And the older girl walked in through the doorway. Only she wasn't a girl any more but a grown woman with a murderer's stare.

“-tara. Satara?” Melissa flapped a hand in front of her face and the position of the lightbulb darkened the shade of her blue eyes.

Satara jerked back without meaning to and her heel collided with the bedroom door behind her.

“What?” she half hissed.

“I was just – are you sure you're okay sharing a room with me?” Melissa backed up and then gathered some clothes from a small chair tucked in a corner, avoiding her eyes. “If you want, I can call Jay – someone else to sleep here. I can sleep with my mum instead. Or in the living room.”

“It's fine.” Satara cleared the nausea from her throat. “And I can sleep on the floor.”

“No way. I just changed the sheets for you.” The other girl laughed and picked at loose threads on her pyjamas. When she finally lifted her head, her gaze strayed to a spot below Satara's left ear. “Is your neck hurting because you carried Spy here?”

“Probably.” Satara's fingers dropped from her scar and it twinged as if she had tried to tear it open again with her nails.

“I've got a wheat pack. Want to borrow it?” Melissa frowned at her messy surroundings. “If I can find it, that is.”

“I don't need it.” Jayce's desperate gaze shoved its way into her thoughts. “Thanks.”

“I can heat it up while you get changed. I don't mind. It only takes a couple of minutes.”

“It's okay.” Satara reached for the door handle. “Which way's the bathroom?”

“It's right next door.” A potent silence followed Melissa's direction and she spoke again before the dark haired girl could escape. “Hey, this might sound like a really random question but –”

Those kinds of questions are hardly ever random.

“– but what?” Satara paused.

“Do you … have an older sister?”