“He’s such an asshole!” was Jodie’s mantra for the night, loudly declared between mouthfuls of fried rice. They sat sprawled out on top of her floral duvet watching Spice World, but the volume had been lowered several times over the course of the movie so that she could rant. “He’s like, in the top three of biggest assholes I know.”

“Who’s in the number one spot?” Mitch poked at his own food with no real interest in it.

“Toby.”

“Wow!” Mitch laughed. “You said that with absolutely no hesitation!”

“You have a type!” She speared a piece of pork. “And apparently, I like to introduce them to you! ‘Hey shitty boys! Here’s my very dumb, very gay friend with mad self-esteem issues. Have at ‘im!’.” After chewing for a few seconds, Jodie set her fork down and said, “Dude, maybe I’m the number one asshole that I know.”

“You’re my number one asshole.” That earned Mitch a withering glare.

“REALLY?” Pivoting her position on the bed, she put her feet against his torso and began to push him towards the edge of the mattress. “It isn’t Toby?!”

“It’s definitely Toby.” He laughed even harder, and Jodie stopped pushing.

“You’re actually taking this pretty well, aside all that crying earlier,” she stated. “Do you need anything, like ice cream?”

“I.” Pursing his lips, Mitch gave her remark some thought. “I don’t know. It hasn’t fully sunk in? But at the same time, I could kinda feel this coming.”

“You said you wouldn’t try to fix this next time it happened.” The fork was lifted again pointed directly at him. “You told me to remind you about that.”

“I know, I know.” Mitch raised his free hand in surrender. “Part of me is weirdly relieved, because I’m too tired to keep fighting for it anymore. I’ve just been so desperate to make the past 5 years mean something, and it didn’t matter. Goes out with a whimper instead of a bang. I dunno. It sucks.”

“He never deserved the effort.” Somehow, Mitch knew the next part that was coming, and he braced himself. “Especially after he cheated on you. WITH TOBY.”

“Fuckin’ Toby,” sighed Mitch.

“FUCKIN’ TOBY!” They both giggled at the outburst, but it was short lived. Jodie glanced down at her phone, then back up at Mitch. “Speaking of, he texted me earlier. I guess he got word about what happened to you, and wanted to check in.”

“Did you tell him anything?” Mitch turned his attention back to the movie, not wanting to appear to be anything other than indifferent at mention of his other ex’s name.

“Hell no!” She frowned. “We don’t talk much in general anymore, so it was weird. I think he still follows the promotion on Twitter. I should block his ass.”

“It’s OK if you do.” Mitch grabbed the remote from where it sat between them and turned the volume up a notch. “Like, talk to him or tell him about me. I don’t really care.”

“You’re so fucked up.” She took the remote back and turned the volume down again. There was a pause, which was never a good thing. Jodie typically didn’t tip-toe, but over time she’d been trying her best to have tact. A pause meant that Jodie making an attempt at sensitivity. It meant that whatever she was about to say was heavier than she knew how to express, that she was trying to resist the urge to blurt out the first thing on her mind. “Look, we gotta talk for real, though. Did you ever find another sponsor? Because I reaaally think you should.”

“No,” Mitch admitted, and sunk down against the headboard. “I haven’t had the time. And I mean, Toby never like…cut me off or anything. I could still talk to him if I needed to, he was actually really good at be supportive and giving advice and stu-”

“HE’S YOUR EX. THAT FUCKED YOUR OTHER NOW EX. Oh my god, I’m going to gouge my own eyes out.” Her face was in her hands. “You are the dumbest smart person that I know.”

“Look, it made sense at the time! We were good friends after it ended, and he’d been through it too and I think he was really trying to help, y’know?” As Mitch continued, Jodie groaned. “And how was I supposed to know that he and Calvin had been fucking all over the apartment for several months…goddammit, I really am dumb, huh?”

“YES!” Jodie threw her hands up. “YOU REALLY ARE.”