《Apathy》Guilt
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Chapter 13
Guilt. Damien Reyes.
Time/Area: July 8th-9th.
“Yea no.” Jason said as I pointed at one of his shirts.
I groaned, “I have to wear something!”
We were in Jason’s closet room.
That’s right.
He has a separate room.
For his closet.
Jason stared at his huge collection of clothes that was worth a small apartment, as if deciding what’s off limits.
Finally he turned back to me, “Can’t you just sleep in what you’re wearing?”
I couldn’t believe this.
“Not in your house!” I snapped, “Why is it so hard to give me a white shirt?”
I reached for the nearest one, only to have my arm smacked back down,
“Definitely not.” He said.
Jason looked like this was possibly the hardest decision in his life.
“Here, how about this,” He started, “I’ll check the closet downstairs-”
I glared at him, shutting him up.
“Screw it.” I thought, grabbing the white shirt and some shorts.
He was about to protest when I shot him an evil look, “Try and stop me.” I challenged, “Why are you being so girly?” I teased.
Jason turned into a tomato with anger, “That’s one of my favorites! And it’s not girly to value high quality clothing!”
I honestly didn’t see anything special about it. It was literally just a plain t-shirt. The shorts, however, were name brand, which I didn’t think mattered in the slightest but Jason thought of it as a separate life line.
But I enjoyed his suffering so I took it anyway.
“W-wait,” He said, watching me grab the shorts, “That one is actually good!”
“I know, it looks really nice.” I agreed, slowly pushing Jay out of his own closet so I could change.
I ignored his other whines as he left and shut the door.
-
When we reached the movie room, I stopped Jason before we started binge watching sci-fi shows.
He raised his eyebrow, “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”
I shook my head, “No, but I did want to talk about what happened.”
He sighed, falling onto the floor, “How about later.”
I shook my head again, “No. I kinda feel bad for dragging you out into the rain.”
Jason rolled over to face me, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Lightning did.”
I fell down on my side of the room, now staring into the roof,
“Still,” I offered, “I was the one who asked you to come when I wasn’t even supposed to be there.”
I heard him sit up, “Well it’s all good. Besides losing my phone and getting smacked by scaffolding, that was pretty fun.”
That didn’t really ease my conscience, but I could think about that later.
“So,” Jason moved on, “Star Wars or Star Trek?”
-
July 8th
The next day was pretty uneventful due to school cancelling. Dad and Mom headed back home, but were generous enough to allow me to stay at Jason’s house and hang out with him (As long as I finished any homework). I think my parents were hesitant to punish me for last night’s events because of Sarah. They probably didn’t know what was really up with us and, because of that, didn’t want to make it any more difficult. Sarah would be leaving tomorrow on the ninth to fly out to Europe, trying to save the world or whatever the heck was going on. Jason’s parents were gone most of the day, so Jason and I had the mansion to ourselves. I had texted Selina to ask if she wanted to come over, but she said she was too busy today. I didn’t know what she was busy with, but I didn’t get the feeling from her texts that she wanted to talk about it. Dad and Mom texted me later to tell me that I could stay at Jason’s again for the night as long as I got to school on time since they were both swamped at their jobs. Apparently the Synth plant had opened back up again and all the engineers that worked there needed to test the facility for the whole day. Mom was always busy with her hospital job, but she said that the building was crowded today and she couldn’t make it home. Jason still didn’t have a phone, and apparently his parents wouldn’t buy him one any time soon because they still blamed him for yesterday. I tried to talk to Jason about buying a phone for him before we fell asleep, but he wouldn’t hear it. I fell asleep thinking about how to help with that.
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July 9th: Morning
I was shaken awake by Jason, who was already dressed for some reason.
“Hey sleepy head!” He yelled, crouching over me before kicking my side. I groaned as I looked around the movie room, “¿Que hora es?” I asked, getting up but immediately regretting it.
I didn’t really want to wake up right now.
I groggily brought myself to my feet, rubbing the tiredness from my eyes.
“It’s seven.” he replied, “And we still have school-”
I gasped, “Ugh, I forgot!” I whined, “School sucks...”
After I got dressed in some clothes Dad had dropped off yesterday, we both went
out of the movie room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen where I sat on a barstool placed outside a granite counter,
“Well, at least you get to see your girlfriend again.” Jason joked, “Talked to her lately?”
I shrugged, now tying my almost dry shoes, “Erm, not really.”
“Do you need relationship advice?” Jason asked, tossing my backpack at me as I stood up from the stool. I caught it, shouldering it over my back. Dad had dropped this off too,
“From the guy who’s too scared to ask out his crush?” I laughed, “You don’t even have Melissa’s phone number.”
Jason huffed as we headed for the front room of the mansion. Jay’s parents were already gone for work, so it was just us left in the house,
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed,” He said, opening the fancy door before stepping out onto the welcome mat, “My ‘phone situation’ is stopping me from doing that.”
I stepped out after him, watching him lock the door behind us with his silver house key before starting down his porch,
“Yeah..” I winced, knowing that probably wasn’t the only reason but still feeling bad, “Are you sure you don’t want another phone?”
Jason nodded as we reached the sidewalk, turning right before walking down Draxon,
“Unless you magically find my phone somewhere, I’ll be fine waiting. Plus, and I don’t mean to be rude but-”
He motioned behind us at the Mansion,
“I’m like..rich.”
I scratched my head, a lofty morning breeze gliding past us as we joined a crowd of other kids heading to the same place at the intersection, “Didn’t you keep a lot of cash in your phone?”
Jason’s phone case doubled as a wallet, and he had put a lot of cash in there to use for emergencies.
Jason suddenly groaned, “Okay, I’ll admit, I forgot about that..” He muttered, “Now some crazy hobo named Jerry is probably buying a cheeseburger with my money..”
I don’t know why he had gotten so specific with that, but it sort of sparked an idea in my mind.
-
Once we reached the bus stop, my phone buzzed. I had charged it using Jason’s charger...since he obviously wasn’t using it.
I took out the black device.
It was a text from Sarah.
-
Hi Damien! You should be up by now. I just got on the plane. I know we didn’t leave on the best terms, but please know that I will see you very soon! And regardless of what happens over the next few days, please don’t worry too much about me. The plane’s taking off now- see you! [PS: REMEMBER THAT I WILL BE SIX HOURS AHEAD! DON’T DISTURB MY SLEEP! 😡] Also treat Mom and Dad well loser.
-
“Dang it.” I thought, rereading the text. I had hoped I would be able to see Sarah off, but I guessed that was out of the question. Growing up with a sister that is older than you by 9 years is weird, as you kind of..watch them become more..adult like I guess.
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Jason caught me staring at my phone, and nudged my shoulder. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded, beginning to search the crowd for Selina.
I smiled brightly when I saw her walking towards us.
“Hi!” I waved upon seeing her.
She blushed, “Hi, sorry again about yesterday...and the day before that.”
I shrugged, “Don’t sweat it..but what was wrong?”
She blew some hair out of her face, “I had to talk with my dad.”
Jason smiled, “I take it that didn’t go so well.”
She shook her head, readjusting her ocean blue backpack on her shoulders,
“He’s so greedy!” She hissed, “All he cares about is winning, regardless of who might suffer for it!”
We both blinked.
“D-did you guys play Uno or something?” I asked, wondering what happened.
She turned red, “U-uh no.” She said, “It’s just..umm. I was talking about that in general.”
Jason slowly nodded, “Okayy.”
Just then the bus pulled up, frequent passersby and kids alike covering their ears in preparation for-
“GEEET INNNNN KIDSSSSSS!” The Bus driver yelled, our makeshift protection failing dramatically.
Selina uncovered her ears, “Is he physically incapable of lowering his voice or something?”
I nodded, “Yea, it would seem so.”
Jason shook his head, trying to stop the ringing, “Must be a condition.”
We laughed as we boarded the bus.
“See you boys later,” Selina yawned, finding a seat. Me and Jason sat at our usual place: In the back. On a typical highschool bus, all the drama happens in the back, but since the kids at SOS were a daring group, the front was where it was at. So, naturally, the back was where we were at.
I looked at Jason as I took the window seat, feeling the once banished tiredness from this morning return from whatever crevice I had managed to stuff it in, “I’m about to fall asleep.”
He laughed, finding the best way to sit down and not hurt his back, “For some reason I'm not tired at all.”
“At least you won’t snore,” I remarked.
He rolled his eyes, “I don’t snore.”
“Sure man.” I said, “Wake me up when we get there.”
Jason laughed, “I think Mr. C has that covered,” He replied, pointing up front.
My eyes began to close, “I-is that his name?” I murmured the question, but I didn’t hear his response, as I had already fallen asleep.
-
During Ancient History, I realized something cool about my classes.
Every class I had with Jason, with the exception of physics, I also had with Selina.
Ancient History [2nd period]- Selina/Jason
Precalc- [5th period. After lunch]- Selina/Jason
Workshop- [6th period]- Selina/Jason
I was just about to shoot a sticky note at Jason about it when Mrs. Grayson began to pass out sheets of paper to everyone.
“Today, you will be exploring each other’s ethnicities and heritage.” She said, returning to the front of the classroom, “Since I believe where we come from will be an important part and contribution during the rest of the school year when we dive into more in depth projects.”
“Okay..” I thought. Had she run out of lesson plans or something?
“You will be partnering with two other people for this assignment.” She continued.
Me, Jason, and Selina immediately made eye contact, each of us grinning as we did.
“Consider this a break day for the upcoming Freshman dance this Saturday.” Mrs. Grayson continued, “And I expect everyone to be there and have a good time. So as a bonus, please write who you will be taking to the dance on the board once you have finished your paper.”
I choked rather loudly, causing everyone to look at me.
Some kid I had never even met and wasn’t sure was in the right class snickered, “Who are you taking to the dance Damien?”
Everyone began to echo his question.
Now how did this happen?
Highschool made no sense to me. Like, one minute you could be in complete disguise..hidden and safe from prying eyes, then the next everyone demands the name of the date you don’t have to the party you didn’t know existed.
I looked at Jason for help, who just gave an apologetic shrug.
“He’s taking me idiots.”
I turned my head to see that Selina had appeared by my side, my choke level reaching that of Darth Vader’s.
A bunch of Oo’s and ah’s filled the room as Mrs. Grayson laughed, “Everyone, settle down now and get with your group!”
Once everyone had started to mill around, asking for group partners and such, I stared at Selina,
“Di-did you really mean that?” I asked, bewildered.
Selina blushed, fiddling with the blue strands in her blonde hair, “I-I guess so...I-I mean only if you want.”
We shared each other’s gaze until Jason coughed, “If you two love birds are done staring into each others’ souls now...”
Selina slapped him in the arm.
I just stayed silent.
“So what are you?” Selina asked, taking a seat at our now merged desks.
Jason smiled, “I am Italian and Greek,” He said proudly, placing his hands on his hips like superman.
Me and Selina both jotted that down on our Partner 1 sheet.
“So where were you born?” I asked sarcastically.
Jason rolled his eyes, “Same place you were stupid,”
“Which is..?” Selina asked, glaring at the two of us.
“Albuquerque, New Mexico.” Me and Jason answered simultaneously.
“Al-ba-turkey..” Selina spelled it out as she wrote. Neither me or Jason bothered to correct her, as it was just too funny.
“Do you want to do all the questions for one person, or go around?” I asked, writing down Jason's place of birth.
“Around.” Selina responded.
“Okay, then it’s you now,” I pointed at her with my pen.
She cleared her throat, “I’m half German, from my dad, and half British from my mom.”
I smiled as I wrote that down, “That’s cool.”
Selina blushed, “Thanks.”
I looked at her, “No problem.”
Jason faked throwing up,
“Oh my gosh you guys will you please-”
I interrupted Jason, “Okay okay,” I conceded, “I’m Half Mexican from my mom, and half black from my dad.”
“Cool!” Selina exclaimed, writing that down.
I was embarrassed, “Yea..” I started, “My complexion looks more..Olive..unlike my sister, but it’s still all there.”
Once we had finished the questions I elbowed Jason, “Who are you taking to the dance on Saturday?” I asked, “You know..seeing as it’s now an assignment.”
He went red, “If I had to go, I could just erm go with Selina and you.”
I frowned, “Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable….being the third wheel? And you know who I’m talking about”
He sighed, “I think that’s basically inevitable at this point. Jeez this will be weird.”
He paused, “Well, I’m rich so I could always toss around diamonds to make myself feel better.”
Although this was true, I could tell he was still bothered. Aside from Selina, I was Jason’s only friend. If you’re really famous because of your parents, it’s kind of hard to find friends that are..legit, I guess.
I thought for a moment, an idea slowly coming to me, “Hey, do you want to have a sleepover on Friday?” I asked, “Like..at my place? ”
He slowly nodded, “Sure..but why?”
I shrugged, “That way you can feel like a third wheel only half of the night.”
His eyes widened, “Ohh,” he said, “That makes sense...since I’m so incapable of getting a girlfriend?”
I play punched him in the chest, “Not what I meant, but those were your words, not mine.”
We both began to crack up, drawing the attention of Selina.
“You’re having a sleepover?” She asked, “Can I come?”
I choked once more,
Jason smiled cunningly, the same smile he always got when something stupid was about to fly from his mouth, “What, you want a little guy to be a part of the group too?”
Selina gasped, slapping Jason again on instinct.
Jason yelped while cackling menacingly.
“He’d be what..a quarter everything you guys are?” He persisted, Selina deeming it necessary to upgrade her slaps to light punches to his shoulder.
I blushed at what Jason had implied, “Shut up Jason...”
Selina shivered a bit, “On second thought, I’ll just see you two at the party.”
The bell rang.
As everyone zipped out of the class, I couldn’t help but smile as I wrote the words
“Damien and Selina” on the board, still not quite believing this was happening.
-
After school got out, I stopped Jason at his locker, smiling brightly because of what I had just done.
Jason gave me a confused look, “..dude?”
I coughed, “So it must’ve sucked not having your phone today, right?”
He closed his locker, “Yea.. I had so much school stuff on it...my money...freaking Jerry.”
We began to walk out of the building, “But why are you smiling about it?”
I held up my phone to him, a “Find my phone” app opened, “I just remembered that I put yours on here so…”
Jason’s eyes grew to the size of globes,
“Y-you mean-”
“Yep.”
“S-so you can-”
“Yep.”
Jason jumped up in the air as we finished walking down the wide concrete steps, the familiar honking blasting through the air and the sweet smell of pollution grasping at our lungs.
Suddenly, Jason stopped, “But will it work?” he asked, worry embedded into his words.
I looked at him, “You think I would’ve told you I could find your phone without actually finding it first?” I asked. I held it up again, a map displaying the location of his phone.
He laughed, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.
“Ok ok ok!” I yelled, pushing him off.
“Sorry.” Jason said, still smiling, “It’s just that..thank you!”
I grinned, “So do you want to get it tonight with me?”
His ‘Wait, I just realized something’ face suddenly plagued his face, all of his smile fading,
“Damien,” He said, “Well, what if there actually is a Jerry?”
I blinked, now seriously wondering if Jerry was some school bully that I had forgotten about. The only bullies that I knew of ( that bothered us) went by the names of Tim, John, and Henry.
“Oh don’t worry, It’s probably just going to be lying around-”
“ With some dangerous homeless guy!” Jason interrupted, “Point is that it just doesn’t seem worth it.”
We walked over to a bench to continue this conversation,
“If you want, I can just go and-”
Jason glared, “So what, you’re gonna get in trouble again for being out where you’re not supposed to?”
I went silent in annoyance, “What’s the big deal...you seemed excited a minute ago.”
“I’m just saying!” He laughed, “I don’t think we have the best luck right now, and running out just to get a phone-”
I groaned, “Isn’t that a little dramatic? Like what are the chances of lightning hitting another set of scaffolding--”
“Forget about my phone.” Jason ordered, “Sure it’s gonna suck waiting for more allowance money for bagels but, who knows, maybe Jerry needs it more than me.”
I opened my mouth to protest but his glare only intensified,
“Just stay home Damien,” He motioned around the city, “This city is too crazy to go running around looking for a phone.”
I dropped my head, “Huh.”
I knew it was a big deal, but I apparently hadn’t thought about this as much as he did.
I nodded, not agreeing but understanding, “Sorry, I just thou-”
“No, don’t apologize,” He said, clearly trying to move on, “I can always get a job”
I got what he was saying.
But the fact was that I still blamed myself for what happened, and I wanted to make it up to Jason somehow.
I had to make it up to him.
And this seemed to be the only way to do so.
Plus, with everything that’s been happening with Sarah, I couldn’t help but feel useless. If I couldn’t help her, I would definitely be able to help Jason.
I checked my phone to see the location again.
Jay’s phone was somewhere along the White Plains road in the Bronx.
“So you have Taekwondo practice today right?” Jason asked, now staring at a New York Daily Billboard hoisted upon a tall building across the street.
I think it said something about the chemical that spilled in the Bronx. Something about it meaning to be tested on living organisms and stuff,
I nodded, “Mhm.”
Jason gave me a look, getting off of the bench “Sorry, did I disturb your thoughts?”
I nodded, “Mhm.”
He laughed, shouldering his backpack, “Okay...well I’ll cya tomorrow!”
He walked off.
-
Maybe I was going to do this for Jason, or maybe I was just doing this for myself, but in my mind it beat sitting around waiting for Sarah to come back.
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