Chapter 6: Sehn Hates Plants, Horses, and Heat

As Sehn and his four servants trotted along the narrow road, the trees became increasingly sparser. Within the first quarter day of their journey, no more trees could be seen, truly putting Elvar behind them.

The Harrow-Plains were just North of Elvar, a stretch of land so vast that they ran all the way to Koringrath. It was here that the four of them had done most of their hunting together as many wild and exotic creatures inhabited the plains, including the much-feared Cockalith.

The narrow road that led toward Koringrath was almost unnecessary. Horses had no problem navigating the smooth, shallow grass that made up the land. It was a bright sunny day, and nature was in full force. Birds of prey attacked smaller creatures while faster ones scurried away from larger predators.

Off to the left, Sehn spotted a humongous silver creature with four horns and seven legs. It kicked up dirt as it bolted after a smaller rodent-thing. The creature trampled it, flipping it up into the air off its horns, and then opened its mouth as the small rodent landed inside, the crunch of bone audible to Sehn’s ears. The silver creature then turned and disappeared back into thicker grass.

Due to the lack of trees, the powerful summer sun bore down on the backs of the men, causing profuse sweating among the four of them. Well, the three of them. The Great Sehn did not sweat—he merely secreted excess victory.

The horses were sweating profusely. Despite their slowed pace, they frequently had to stop to water the animals and allow them to graze. It would be a five-day trip across the Harrow-Plains, and Sehn didn’t want the stupid beasts dying on him before they made it halfway.

With a kick, Sehn’s horse sped up to ride alongside Patrick.

“How are we on time?” Sehn asked.

Patrick looked off into the distance. “We had a good start. By my estimation, we are on as fast a track as possible. But Sehn, we do need to discuss something.”

“And that is?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but you need to. Believe me, Sehn, you really do. You’ve never traveled beyond Koringrath, and you don’t know what people are like beyond the lands you know as home.”

Patrick sighed. “The world is not the place you think you know. There is unspeakable cruelty in this world, much of it I don’t know if you’re ready to handle, and stop glaring at me, Sehn. It’s imperative you understand what’s out there. It’s not just people, but monsters as well. Once on my travels, I'd even spotted a five-headed cobra. And let me tell you, the problem with beheading a five-headed cobra is that there are five heads to behead.”

Sehn laughed. “There is nothing to worry about, Patrick. I am here.” Sehn’s horse continued to breathe heavy and pant. “Hmm, I think it’s time to rest the horses again. This creature is sweating so much that I’m surprised it’s still sweating at all.”

Patrick nodded. “Very well, I suppose we can give them a few minutes rest.” He raised his voice. “Daniel, Rillith, halt the wagon. Grab our supplies and let’s stop for a mid-day meal.”

The wagon slowed. When the mid-sized wagon came to a halt, Daniel, in one swift motion, hopped off his mount while the horse was still walking. Patrick laughed and raised himself into the air upside-down in a double handstand and then pushed off, landing elegantly on the ground. Rillith, too, did a similar maneuver, but this time using only one hand.

They dare challenge the Great Sehn!

Sehn stood directly atop his horse on both feet, frightening the animal. He leapt backward into the air, flipping multiple times and spinning. He spun once, twice, thrice—only to come crashing head first into the grass, causing a trickle of blood to slide down his forehead.

With an explosion of pain (pleasure), Sehn jumped to his feet and eyed the three with tremendous fury. “That, my friends, is how to do an intentional face-dismount. It is a secret that only I know, so don’t bother asking me to teach you.”

Daniel shrugged and walked to the back of the wagon. He emerged with two brown skins of water, which the horses greedily emptied.

Sehn took a seat on the ground and moaned. As much as he wanted to be rich and have servants, only now, on the very first leg of his journey, had it dawned on him how long all this would take. Rillith took out a cloth and offered it to Sehn for the small gash on his face, but quickly put it away after Sehn challenged him to a fight to the death.

They ate a small lunch of dried fruit and cheese before packing up their belongings and preparing to continue. Sehn finished first and went towards the wagon to pack his uneaten food. He wasn’t as hungry as usual, but he wasn’t about to waste perfectly good cheese, either.

“Sehn, wait!” Daniel shouted as Sehn lifted his left leg to climb into the wagon.

“What now, Daniel?”

“I don’t think you should go in there. Let me put the food away for you.”

“You think I need your ‘assistance’, Daniel? Hah! The Great Sehn requires no help from anyone.”

Daniel seemed agitated, and Sehn thought for a moment he was sweating a bit more than anyone else was. “Sehn, didn’t you say I was your slave? Think about how dishonoring it is for you to go into the wagon and do the work yourself.”

Sehn’s ears twitched. “You do make quite the good point.”

Daniel approached him. “Here, give me the food. I’ll do it for you.”

Sehn raised his hand to give Daniel the food but was startled by a noise from inside the wagon.

Achoo!

“What was that?” Sehn asked. “I thought I just heard something.”

Patrick and Rillith came to stand beside Daniel, and they too carried apprehensive looks. “Sehn, I think you’re just hearing things.”

“Nonsense! I heard something in there. Out of my way, fools.” Sehn pushed his way past the two Humans.

It was dark inside. There were no windows in the wagon. Sehn searched the tight space. There were water skins, wooden barrels containing food, clothing, and other personal items, but everything seemed to be in place. It didn’t appear as if any creature had taken up residence. Sehn turned to leave the wagon.

Achoo!

He whirled around again, certain he’d heard something this time. He bolted to the back of the wagon, towards one of the larger chests, and popped it open. Looking down at the two forms huddled together, Sehn howled in fury. Why them?

“Yo, Sehn!” said the voice of a little Elf huddled inside the chest. “Is it lunch time yet?”

*****

“You two are to return home immediately,” Sehn demanded. “This is a direct order from your God-King and lord of all that is in existence, Sehn the almighty!”

Nero and his older sister, Cah’lia, looked at each other before turning their gaze on the three Humans. Rillith was the first to step forward.

“Sehn, that little one was going to follow us no matter what we did. I found him sneaking into the wagon last night. He told me he’d follow us even if we didn’t let him stay, and that he’d only die if he went alone. And while I’m sure the Great Sehn could care less, I’d not want that on my conscience.”

Sehn felt the urge to strangle someone. These two would be nothing but a hindrance— especially Cah’lia!

“I don’t care,” Sehn said. “I shall not allow these two to accompany us. Neither of them will be of any use, and furthermore, have you forgotten what waits in the lands to come? Nero is my greatest disciple—not that his life means anything to me—but if he perishes on this journey, who will spread the word of my heroic deeds?”

Nero chuckled. “Don’t worry, Sehn. I won’t die. Nothing can kill the disciple of Sehn.”

Cah’lia grinned. “And Sehn, have you forgotten that I’m somewhat of a great blades-woman myself? Don’t think I can’t hold my own to any of these men here. You should know what I can do with my dagger. If things get messy, you’ll be glad I came along.”

Then why did you rely on me to go into those cursed woods? Sehn thought.

Sehn had to admit that Cah’lia was both beautiful and strong, counted as one of the most desirable of Elves. She had soft, colorful cheeks and deep blue eyes. Her body, though slim, was lean, curvy, and muscular in all the right places. She was the same age as Sehn, twenty-seasons, yet she had a maturity about her that made her seem older.

“The only reason I came along is because my little brother made it clear that nothing in this world would stop him from following you. I couldn’t let him come by himself, so here’s the thing; you’re either going to accept both of us, or…well, you don’t have a choice, really.”

Sehn felt as if he would explode at any moment. “Of course I have a choice! The Great Sehn makes all choices. I shall have your ears for this, Nero. Now leave, or I shall drag you home myself.”

“Nope. No way, Sehn. You can’t leave your disciple behind. No way, no way, no way!”

“You little runt! I will not have you ruin this for me. What’s going to happen if we come to a fork in the road with a sign, and one way says, ‘To the treasure’, and the other one says, ‘To the swamp of never-ending sorrows’? I know which one you’d take, you little brat, and don’t even give me that look. What if we pass by a mountain called, ‘Mt. you’re fucked if you enter’? You’d surely cause me to fight yet another Gods-cursed abomination. Now beat it! I will be damned if I’m going to stop every leg of this journey just because you decided to run off and aggravate some fucking thirty-headed Dragon God.”

Nero grinned. Rather than back down, he reached into his brown tunic. “Sehn, who in this world is allowed to disobey ya?”

Sehn released a hearty laugh. “None. No one dares to disobey the Great Sehn.”

“Well then in that case, you gotta let my sister and I come along. You signed an official Sehn-Seal.”

Nero pulled the document from his pocket and displayed it to Sehn. Anger swelled up in him as he saw its authenticity. Where had Nero gotten an official Sehn-Seal? In truth, no one may disobey the Great Sehn, not even Sehn himself. It was a paradox, but…

“How did you come to get this, Nero? I do not remember signing such an order. Don’t tell me. You snuck into my home last night, and moved my hand while I was sleeping.”

Nero laughed and danced, spinning around and cheering. “Yep! Hey, sis, what are you doing?”

Cah’lia grabbed the document from Nero’s fingers and looked at it in disbelief.

“Wow, I know I say this every time I’m near you, Sehn, but this time I really don’t believe this. It looks like an official document of the highest order, like something off the desk of our High-Chief himself. It even has a ‘Sehn Stamp.’ When did you find the time to make something like this?”

“Well, Cah’lia, I made hundreds, actually. When I conquer the world, I will need to be able to sign orders, yes? I was able to construct quite a few of these, and it only took me a total of seven thousand hours and eight thousand Elvens.”

Cah’lia shook her head. “Sehn, did anyone ever tell you that you waste an incredible amount of time and money doing nothing useful? I don’t even want to know where you found seven-thousand hours of free time to construct something this foolish. I can’t even tell the difference between this document and one representing the High-Chief. It’s no wonder you only live in a second-tier home so far from Central Elvar.”

Sehn spat on the ground. He was not willing to dignify her with a response. Foolish woman. When Sehn finally conquered the world, the ‘Sehn-Seal’ would be a sacred document. It was well worth the small fortune in materials to create.

After a painful ten seconds in thought, Sehn muttered, “Whatever, I suppose you two may tag along, provided you obey all of my instructions without hesitation. Oh, and I knew you were coming along, Nero. I sensed your presence the moment we left. I just wanted to make sure you were worthy, which is why I allowed you that night to sneak into my home and force my hand to sign the Sehn-Seal.”

Nero nodded. “I knew it, I knew it, Sehn! Oh, boy, I can’t wait to go. We’re going on an adventure, woo-hoo!”

Sehn grumbled to himself. This trip was going to seem even longer now.

As the day dragged on, at the very least the two were indeed useful. Cah’lia and Nero made the chores easier and had no problems keeping up due to the two spare remounts that Patrick had ordered. Nero looked silly, being such a tiny little Elf on such a large horse.

The landscape didn’t change much at all during the first day, and Sehn recalled that it would be consistent all the way to Koringrath. Butterflies and other small winged creatures flew low to the ground, just above the grass, and landing on the occasional flower. There were several small ponds on the way to Koringrath, which they stopped at periodically to replenish empty water skins.

The road widened as they passed the middle of the day. Nero and Cah’lia rode behind Sehn and the three Humans, chatting excitedly to each other. Sehn didn’t understand why they were so upbeat; this whole journey was a long, boring waste of time.

“Halt!”

It was Rillith’s voice. The tall, dark, and muscular Human dismounted his horse. Sehn and Patrick stopped behind him, causing in turn Nero and Cah’lia to halt their mounts, followed by the wagon being led by Daniel.

“Why have we stopped?” Sehn demanded. “Do you wish to make this journey longer than it’s already going to take?”

Rillith gave Sehn an irritated look. Sehn stored it in his mind so that he remembered to punish Rillith for it later.

Rillith swung his horse around and rode up to meet Sehn face to face. He pointed to just behind him and up ahead of the grassy road. Sehn studied the landscape, confused. He could see nothing out of the ordinary.

“Have you gone mad, Rillith? What is it you’re pointing at?”

Patrick and Daniel dismounted as well and squinted their eyes. They nodded in agreement, wary of whatever danger Rillith had stopped them for. Of the three, Rillith was known for his keen eyesight and his ability to detect traps and other hidden objects.

“Sehn,” Patrick said. “Look closely, do you not see the Swing-Plant?”

Sehn dismounted and walked carefully in front of Rillith, until he too was able to make out what was causing such a stir. It was a tiny green bulb, a flower no bigger than a blade of grass. With a brown and orange stem, its round top resembled that of a mushroom.

Sehn nearly fell to the floor with laughter. “Haha! You Human, coward-fools. Do you mean to tell me you halted the Great Sehn’s journey because you feared a vegetable? Out of my way, dimwits, I shall pluck whatever this thing is from the ground and feed it to you.”

Panic shot across the group of them, even Nero and Cah’lia. Patrick held out a hand in warning, while Daniel, Rillith, and Cah’lia stumbled over themselves trying to go after him.

“Wait, Sehn!” Nero shouted. “That’s a Swing-Plant. Didn’t you learn about them when you were my age? You mustn’t go near it.”

Sehn turned to Nero, and put on his most confident look. “Nero, the Great Sehn does not ‘learn’, he destroys. You’re all a bunch of idiots for being afraid of this tiny little plant. It is barely big enough to reach the top of my toe.”

Sehn walked up to the plant and spat on it, then delivered a swift kick to the tiny piece of greenery. What happened next felt like a lifetime to Sehn, but the entire incident was in fact only around thirteen seconds.

In one lightning-quick motion, the plant sprang up out of the ground, growing several hundred times its length. It struck out at Sehn, wrapping itself around both of his feet. Sehn cried out in shock as the plant lifted him off the ground, leaving him hanging upside down. The plant “swung” Sehn, causing him to fly sideways through the air and crash headfirst onto the grassy surface while unrelentingly holding its grip on his feet.

It picked him up yet again, dangling him upside down, and then swung him back in the other direction towards his companions, and again crashing him face first against the ground.

“WHAT!” Again the plant swung him, crashing him down in the opposite direction.

“THE!”

Sehn was continuously launched back and forth, grunting as the wind was knocked out of him as he landed roughly on the ground.

“FUCKING FUCK.”

Crash!

“IS HAPPENING.”

Crash!

“TO ME.”

Sehn vomited in midair, throwing up the contents of his earlier midday meal. In a rage so terrible that it almost burned a hole in Sehn’s mind, he began to chant a spell.

Patrick looked at Sehn’s flailing body and screamed for all he was worth. “Sehn, no! Don’t use your magic!”

Sehn didn’t care. He chanted anyway.

“Remmos Salas!”

Due to the downward motion, Sehn’s aim was completely off. The fireball whizzed right past the giant plant and slammed into the helpless Daniel, setting his green tunic on fire and causing him to run in circles, screaming, “I’m on fire! I’m on fire! It burns! Put it out for God’s sake! I’m dying!”

Patrick and Rillith flew after him and tackled him to the ground, covering him with blankets while Sehn continued to be smashed back and forth into the ground. His ears started to ring and his vision fade.

Nero remained motionless, but Cah’lia was already springing to action with her dagger unsheathed. She waited for Sehn to be smashed into the ground, and then, while he was being flung in the other direction, she dashed into the open space and severed the stem of the plant, splitting it in two. Sehn was dropped to the ground, groaning, while Patrick and Rillith assisted Daniel to his feet, smoke rising in dark plumes from his body.

******

Sehn cleared his throat before addressing the group, who were huddled with him around a campfire.

“Listen up you lot, the Great Sehn has implemented a new law taking effect immediately. From this point forward, all Swing-Plants are to be avoided in the interest of saving time. I merely wished to test its strength, and I must say, I was quite disappointed.”

Patrick and Rillith were forced to hold Daniel back from charging at Sehn. His eyes were filled with rage, and he cursed Sehn’s godly name, a sin which would not be overlooked.

Sehn was bruised from head to toe, but he was not seriously injured. Neither was Daniel. Luckily, Cah’lia had brought burn ointments and extra bandages. They were camped on the smooth grass, a strong fire erected around them as they ate their evening meal. The sunset over the Harrow-Plains was among the most beautiful Sehn had ever seen, clearing the way for the stars as darkness approached.

Daniel gave up struggling, probably realizing he wouldn’t break free of Rillith’s powerful grip.

“So help me Gods, I’m going to get you back good this time, Sehn. I’ll make those Scratcher-Bugs seem like a relaxing massage.”

Sehn laughed at the puny Human. “Hah! You should be thanking me, fool. It is a gift to be fireballed by the Great Sehn. None of you should have intervened. I was merely enjoying the free ride that nature has to offer.”

Nero laughed. “I knew it! I wanna go next.”

Cah’lia put a hand over his mouth and shushed him.

It was the first day in their long quest, and while Sehn felt it could have gone smoother, things weren’t so bad. They all laughed as Nero danced and sang around the fire and awaited the dawn of a new day.