“Ghoulish jungle filled with traps and monsters in a weird location, check,” Jay said, peering down the long, misty, tree-heavy hallway. “Four-and-a-half idiots planning to hike through it, still waiting to see if that box deserves a check.”

Creepy Kleo leaned over to Frank, still on top of Dennis’s rucksack. “Sorry if the jerk calls you half an idiot. Pretty messed up getting denied the full thing. I guess not everyone can be whole and happy like miss picture-perfect me, y’know.”

Frank sighed. “Kleo.”

“Yes, Halfling?”

Frank sighed again. “Can you tell us anything useful here? Every detail you know.”

“Oh, sure, this is my time to shine!” Kleo said cheerily. “First, you got the little green men, who’ll hunt you down, set their own traps, and drag you away from your friends and torture you while the mist distorts the sounds of your pitiful crying. And as you die horribly, your friends will lose their will to fight, get picked off one by one, and that’ll be a party wipe!”

A small blur of movement warned Jay of danger. He grabbed Mike by the back of his cloak and yanked him back. A green dart half a foot long collided with an invisible wall running at the threshold between the living room and the hallway.

“And their favorite weapons are spike-shooting rifles and other spike-goodies. They aren’t poisonous or venomous, but they’ll slowly dig into your flesh on their own. So, yay for that! Then you got giant mouse traps for pesky dungeon crawlers like you all. Spring-traps. Pit-traps. Plenty of spike traps. It’ll be hard to spot them with the mist in the way and having to defend from constant green men attacks. And of course, you got the wildlife and plant life. Those toy trees you see there. They might eat you. The little rabbit toy bouncing around. That might eat you, too. Best believe everything can and will eat you.”

Kleo swung her arms up stiffly and let out a cheer. “But look on the bright side. Levels. Maybe some loot. And constant threat of death is good for building character!”

Jay peered into the jungle-line three hundred yards away. His improved Perception picked out little shadowy figures running to and fro in the mist and jungle bushes. One of them stopped and pointed its weapon at them menacingly as if daring them to leave the safe zone.

Ignoring that problem, for now, Jay looked up. The second floor would be hell to reach. The jungle was one gauntlet. Then having to climb giant stairs defended by Action Figure Militia sounded like another long slog. Kleo was right that if they could survive all of that, it would build their character, harden them, and make them stronger than ever before. They’d be true dungeon crawlers if they took on every challenge and punched their way through.

“Nah,” Jay said. “Let’s cheat.”

Frank gave Jay a long, scrutinizing look. “How?”

“You’re willing to listen to me?”

“Yes,” Frank said, leaving it at that.

“This is going to be good,” Kleo said with a chuckle. “I’ll cut to the chase. There’s no way around this. It’s jungle first. Then the staircase. Survive that, and you’ll have second-floor access where the remaining dungeon and its core awaits you.”

“Maybe Kleo has a point,” Dennis said.

“Her point is sound under normal conditions, even if she’s speaking in half-truths. She has the script.” Mike tapped his wand in his palm. “But that’s where Jay comes in to make true things false.”

“You lost me there, Mike,” Dennis said.

Jay smiled, appreciating Mike for being a good hype-man. “[Dance Floor Relativity]. I got it for reaching Level 3 in [Lesser Freak]. It’s a doozy.”

[Dance Floor Relativity, Level 1]: Reorientate gravity’s effect on yourself. Choose to extend a limited field for objects, willing allies, and/or enemies with insufficient Poise/magic defense. Variable mana costs from moderate to high. Dancing helps mitigate mana cost. Leveling up increases the range of field, effectiveness, and Perception scaling.

Jay pointed toward the second floor far above them. “Why go through a jungle when we could boogie up the wall and get where we gotta go?”

“Wow, I’ve heard all sorts of stupid, but that one deserves an honorable mentions ribbon,” Kleo shot out. “I don’t even have to think hard on that, bozo. You, a Rank 1, don’t have the mana to cha cha cha to the top with all of us.”

Mike winced. “Good point. Maybe when we’re further into our levels, that’ll be possible with Jay. But we’ve just started.”

“You don’t really want us to get hurt, do you, Kleo?” Dennis asked.

“It’s a rite of passage, buddy,” she said.

Jay looked to Frank and found an inscrutable face. There was no judgment, no anger, no indication of what the Spook was thinking. It was worrisome compared to when Frank was annoyed or exasperated with Jay’s proclivities to being an everyday weirdo.

“We have to reach the jungle,” Frank said. “Then follow the edge, killing anything that tries to stop us from reaching the wall.”

Jay gaped. “So, we’re going with my idea?”

“Not exactly,” Frank said. “Following the staircase wall ensures we’re protected on one side if we’re heading for the steps. And if we follow it to a point where the stairs become reachable for Jay’s Skill, then we can switch it up from there.”

Jay was displeased with the sound and practical approach, but he didn’t challenge Frank for once. Kleo had made a good point. He didn’t have the mana to make it up the staircase wall safely. He could feel his Magic/Mana limits if he thought about it. The new Skill was low-level and untested, too.

Mike tapped him on the arm as they prepared to charge the jungle.

“You’re not looking at the most daring possibility,” Mike said.

“What do you mean?” Jay asked.

“You’ll know it when you realize it,” Mike said cryptically, keeping it at that.

Conversations like these made Mike one of the best people Jay would ever know. Mike knew Jay better than anyone outside Jay’s mom. So, rather than tell Jay point blank something he was missing, Mike nudged Jay to figure it out.

“I don’t get it yet, but you are a scholar among men and deserving of all the fame and riches,” Jay said.

“Of course I am,” Mike said smugly.

“Okay,” Frank butted in, “let’s go.”

Jay locked up his upbeat attitude and wore his game face. He tensed up while Dennis ran out, holding his giant sword in front of him with the broad side facing the jungle.

Green torture darts flew out. They punched through the mist, left little flight trails, and landed in shotgun volleys peppering Dennis’s area. The darts splintered against Ogre Hunter’s colossal surface. They ricocheted off of the Skullbash helmet. The darts landed little to no damage against Dennis’s armored body.

Dennis shrugged off the first volley.

Another volley flew out a few seconds later. Then a third. A few hit their mark, getting a painful grunt from Dennis. The big varsity stud kept charging at the target area regardless. Jay had to admit that the jock was a worthwhile member of the party. Unfortunately, Dennis had to care for himself. So, Kleo got left behind with Jay.

“Alright, Jay, Kleo, go,” Frank ordered.

Jay scooped up Kleo and dashed away from the safety. His course toward the jungle line was set at an angle a little farther than where Dennis aimed to enter. That was by design since Dennis would be slower to reach his destination and didn’t have the evasiveness Jay had. Even with Kleo in his arms, Jay made himself a hard target to hit as green dart volleys split between Dennis and Jay.

There were a couple of close calls still. The flooring was warped, dimpled, and heavily uneven. The mist thickened the closer to the jungle he got, and the air felt thicker and more humid than even Florida. The number of enemies defending the jungle line was steadily increasing, too. And Jay couldn’t move as he preferred since he had a passenger. He was bound to get hit. Taking a dart would show him if he was tough enough to withstand the harm or fall to it.

He would rather not get hit.

“Hey, if you die, can I take your stuff?” Kleo asked with a sinister snicker.

“Ask me again when we leave the dungeon together,” Jay said, “because I’m going to change it up now.”

It wasn’t his style to play this game traditionally. Deep down, Jay knew his best chance was to be divergent. To be weird and daring. Hell, even Mike had mentioned it. So, why not flip the board here and now?

“[Dance Floor Relativity],” Jay said, throwing himself into a forward flip.

As green darts punched the air under him, Jay felt his mana circulate in his brain before his body emitted a purplish pulse that reached five feet in all directions. Jay envisioned a dance floor that was perpendicular to the ground and hanging above the jungle line. The flip counted as a dance move to mitigate mana cost.

Jay whirled end over end with screaming Kleo in his arms, the world a blur as Jay relied solely on his sixth sense. The trees rushed up, entered his sense of range, and clued Jay to flick off [Dance Floor Relativity] and flick on [Moonwalker].

[Dance Floor Relativity] leveled up to 2!

“Ohhhhh this is something different!” Jay shouted, feeling slightly dizzy as standard physics took over.

He landed feet first against a tree trunk. The pull of proper gravity directed where to aim his feet next. He hit the ground with a stumble, feeling a smidge embarrassed from the lack of grace. There was no time to linger on the folly. There were little green men out to get him, and he only had one sword arm. The other carried Kleo tucked under his left arm.

Jay shook off his dizziness and raised his sword.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” Kleo grumbled. “That was scary! And I don’t get scared easily.”

Jumping out of the misty bush, a waist-high man similar to little green army soldiers at the ninety-nine cent attacked. Kleo started screaming again as the soldier charged them with a pointy knife. The weapon was solid metal instead of plastic and was aimed at Jay’s chest.

The [Freak] shifted backward and out of reach, his [Agility] and [Perception] working in tandem. With his goblin sword raised, he used Frank’s advice: dart in, attack, dart out. Efficient, fast, safe.

To Jay’s surprise, the maneuver worked. His blade came down perfectly on the toy man’s neck, shearing it wide open without beheading the dungeon monster.

You’ve slain Jungle Soldier Toy, Level 1!

There was no fanfare. No time to celebrate. A green dart slammed into a tree trunk by Jay’s head. He repositioned to get a gnarled, mossy tree between him and the shooter. Unfortunately, there was more than one. They attacked from multiple angles, the mist obscuring them well.

Tingles rippled along Jay’s back as he relied on his sixth sense more and more. He found pockets of physical density–something akin to a signature of mass, maybe?

“More fighting, less dancing,” Kleo grunted from his side.

“More team, less you,” Jay replied, retreating down the forest line toward Dennis’s objective position. He found the superjock chasing after little shadows, his Strength and giant sword a deadly combination as it chopped through sapling tree trunks, cleared old vines with ease, and unrooted soldiers into the open. He needed two arms for the heavy sword swings and couldn’t be bothered to handle Kleo. But Dennis created a bubbly of relative safety that only got better as Mike and Frank arrived unharmed.

“Thanks for pulling aggro,” Mike said.

“Thank me by holding Kleo with your free hand and shooting spells with the other hand,” Jay said, passing the little menace to his best friend.

Mike nodded, taking Kleo to a position between Dennis and Frank. Going a step further, Jay pressed the quick-released buttons on his rucksack and dropped it near the group.

“I’m going to guerrilla warfare them,” Jay declared.

“I won’t stop you,” Frank said, which was nice coming from him.

Jay bounded into the mist, alternating [Moonwalker’s] power as he moved. He cleared low-lying bushes with easy jumps. When he landed, he self-regulated his gravity for traction. He could throw himself in any direction unbelievably fast with this technique. The soldiers weren’t prepared for him to retaliate in such a way, giving way to Jay’s snowballing rampage.

With each cut, slice, thrust, and occasional kick (that made him curse since he’d forget to use his [Grav Kick]), Jay put the whooping on every soldier he found. He used his blades like he was clearing angry weeds, hacking through plastic flesh to spill out the gooey stuff inside. Like a butcher for monsters, but out of necessity rather than to sell and consume food.

“Bogga rah ger rah hoo!” rasped a soldier with Jay’s sword stuck in its stomach.

“I have no idea what you’re saying, dude,” Jay said. “But it’s probably something motivational about fighting and dying and other stuff you’ll hear in a war movie.”

Jay yanked his sword out, cutting off the soldier’s death speech. He tried not to think or feel. As soon as he found the next jungle soldier, Lucker went for a one-blow kill. His blade stopped where the spine should be, extending the creature’s life. Jay kicked it off his sword and came down with both blades to finish the job. Then he was on to the next.

***

“I think I found the will to kill and barely feel anything from it,” Jay said, both as a conversation starter and a warning of his return to his party. He came out of grasping mist covered in dungeon monster blood, all black, oily, and heavy. It dripped in fat goblets from the edges of his sword.

“Kill count?” Frank asked.

“Above a dozen, I think,” Jay said. “Not enough to level up just yet.”

“But it was enough to force them into a retreat,” Frank said. “The rest of us bagged no more than two dozen kills working together.”

“You’ve leveled, Mike?”

“Nope, but I feel like I’m close,” Mike answered. He was helping Dennis get unstuck from the few green darts that landed home. The guy was red in the face and on the verge of tears as Mike pulled the suckers out.

“Stay strong, Dennis,” Jay said.

Dennis grunted an unintelligible answer.

At least Kleo was waiting at Dennis’s side. She was a little more reserved now than usual as if holding to her own council.

“It’ll be good if I scout around, aye?” Jay suggested to Frank. “Could spot ambushes, y’know.”

“Only along the jungle line,” Frank said. “Going any deeper invites bad shit if you’re not prepared. Don’t take me letting you off the leash as an excuse to run around and be reckless.”

“I won’t go far, and I’ll check in,” Jay said. “I promise.”

Leaving the party, Jay performed a sweep of the area. It felt like a good idea to him, even if he was untrained. At the same time, it gave him time to wind down from the killing. That was a lot. And it was heavy. The toys weren’t human, they wanted to slaughter him and his party, and they existed to invade Jay’s world. But he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking.

All at once, the fighting for dear life struck him like a runaway cart. Jay bent forward and hurled. It felt like he was chucking out all the soft and naive kiddie parts of him and leaving the hollowness of a killer inside. Once he stopped, his attention diverted toward what was inside. He stared into the dark depths of his inhumanity, and those depths laughed back.

***

“I found a couple of scouts,” Jay said as he rejoined the party. “And these rabid squirrel toys. I don’t recommend tussling with those.”

“Did you use a Health Crystal?” Frank asked.

Jay looked down at the little red bite marks he had accrued. He had a couple of scratches and gouges but no definite injuries.

“I don’t think I need ’em.”

“Use it anyway. Infections kill more people than you think.”

Jay did as told before turning to Mike. “I looted around, but it was poor pickings. No monster cores. Just Iron Multiverse Coins, and 1 Stamina Crystal.”

“We got a bunch of those coins, 1 Health Crystal, 1 Mana Crystal, and a Mist Piercing Retractable Telescope.” Mike extended the device and peered through it.

He passed it to Jay for him to try. Just as its name suggested, Jay saw there was no mist when looking through the telescope’s lens.

“Any traps out there?” Dennis asked. “I’m a little more worried about that than these green bastards.”

“It’s okay if you get stuck on a spike trap, you’ll make for a great bridge across.” Kleo patted his arm sympathetically. “I’ll dance across in your honor, too. Like a proper wake.”

Jay laughed. “I found one trap. But it was deeper into the jungle when I, uh, might’ve traversed around a little further than I should’ve.”

Frank frowned.

Jay kept going hastily. “But it was easy for me to sense. It stood out weirdly. If you aren’t looking, the mist might conceal it, but it’s kind of hard to hide a giant mouse trap with a pile of coins laid on the trigger.”

“You avoided the trap, right?” Frank said.

“And miss out on the free loot?” Jay scoffed. “Dart in, dart out, let the trap fall, and Jay’s a few coins richer.”

“They could’ve been watching to study us,” Frank warned.

“I don’t think we’ll encounter traps if we stay along the jungle line like you said.”

“Perhaps.” Frank panned his gaze around the party. “Slow and steady. Let’s keep on the move.”

Jay resecured his rucksack and fell in step a few feet behind Mike. For this march, he wanted to stay aware of what was behind them. He also held Kleo to his side since Dennis had a hard time moving around tangling roots, reaching branches, and jungle obstacles shrouded in mist.

Surprisingly, they made the journey to the staircase wall without further trouble. They had encountered one trap, but the spiked pitfall was covered by a pile of leaves that stood out to Frank easily enough. Once Frank was sure the area was clear of danger, he let the party drop the sacks, rest, and drink from their canteens.

“Ugh, I’m so sweaty, my sweat has sweat,” Mike grumbled miserably. He had the lowest physical Attributes, so jungle hiking was definitely not in the [Mage’s] wheelhouse.

“At least you’re not getting your sword stuck on something or getting hit on the helmet by low branches,” Dennis commented.

“Thanks for the free comedy, you lug.” Kleo snickered.

“I do have good news,” Mike added. “I leveled up again. Somewhere between hiking this horrid dungeon jungle and shooting giant toy mosquitoes out of the air pushed me into Level 4. So, huzzah for that.”

While everybody congratulated Mike, Frank walked over to Jay. The [Freak] was staring up, seeing through a thin layer of mist. Above, the second floor hung over them, far out of reach. Too far to walk up the wall using [Dance Floor Relativity]. Too far for a logical approach outside of braving the jungle and the stairs that were both heavily defended.

Jay smiled.

“Okay, Luckrun, what craziness is on your mind now?” Frank asked as if he was getting a better grasp of Jay’s madness.

“This is going to be good,” Mike said.

“I don’t know why, but I feel nervous,” Dennis glanced around.

Jay’s smile turned into a big cheeky grin.