《From Within The Dungeon》Ch.14 - The Spider's Thread (2)
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"Perhaps it is your fault, Ari."
Nate watched the girl in his arms tremble after he uttered those words.
'She's so... vulnerable. I really don't want to do this...'
After what seemed like an eternity, Ari finally managed to muster up the courage to speak, albeit there was still a tremor in her voice.
"Wh-what... do you mean?" she asked, her face still buried in his chest. "I... didn't do anything... I'm not..."
Nate shook his head. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you--"
"Ari." Nate grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away lightly, letting him get a good look at her face.
After seeing that she wouldn't meet his gaze no matter what, he sighed.
"I said it might be your fault. But it could also be mine."
"..." It took a coupled of seconds for what he'd said to sink in, before Ari looked up with a shocked and bewildered expression. "Wh-what...? How can it be--"
"Because I was late, Ari," Nate interjected again. "If I'd arrived earlier, I could've saved the old man. Hugo and Brent wouldn't've gotten so fucked up either."
"That's not...!" she stood up in protest, but was interrupted yet again.
"I was also the one who sent the beacon up in the sky. Perhaps, if I hadn't done that, you could've found another, much safer path to safety. Maybe you wouldn't've met the wolf pack at all."
"That's..." Ari's vigor fizzled out as she fell back into her seat.
"It could also be said to be Hugo's fault."
"Whu--"
"If he was stronger, maybe he could've provided enough help to scare off the wolves. Brent is also equally at fault for being weaker."
"This is nonsense..."
"Is it?" Nate smirked as he wagged a finger in the air. "Isn't it equally ridiculous to blame yourself then? Just because you ran out of arrows? Just because you didn't study martial arts? Just because you didn't bulk up, in preparation for this day or something?"
"..." Ari's eyes widened as she felt like she was struck by lightning. She wanted to say something but words couldn't form in her head.
"If you want to point fingers, everybody is a little at fault for this. You don't deserve all the credit for his death, since it's not like you stuck a knife in his head."
"B-but..."
"The old man's dead now, Ari." Nate slammed the table with his palm, making Ari flinch. "And even if you don't deserve all the blame, I suppose you are partly at fault."
"..." Ari's head hung low as her shoulders sank.
'Alright, it's time for the pitch.'
Shin Ari's Perspective
"The old man's dead now, Ari." Nate slammed the table with his palm, making Ari flinch. "And even if you don't deserve all the blame, I suppose you are partly at fault."
"..." she couldn't think of anything to say, so she had no other choice but to avoid Nate's gaze. But a few moments later she felt a warmth envelop her hand.
Nate had reached forward to hold hers.
"Ari, look at me," he said, his voice firm, but also held a trace of gentleness. Despite this, she felt that minuscule amount of goodwill fill her heart with comfort.
"..."
She looked up to see that Nate was wearing a strict expression. However, rather than being scared by it, Ari was reminded of her Archery coach's expression whenever the old woman scolded her.
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Her coach was one of the only adults Ari knew that genuinely cared for her.
Always chastising her when she did anything detrimental to her future as a person and as an athlete.
"What do you plan to do now, Ari." Nate gave her hand a squeeze as he asked.
"That's..."
Honestly, Ari couldn't give him an answer.
It wasn't even the boggling situation she got into after having a car accident that made her feel lost.
That was certainly a contributing factor, but Ari's main problem was that she couldn't decide what direction she wanted to take.
Her life had always been horrible. So her goal had always been to safely graduate, get a job, and improve her life. Then she would pursue romance, if possible. Perhaps make a family with someone nice.
She was a bit side-tracked by the influence of some bad friends, but she was starting to change nowadays. Archery became a place for her to vent her excess energy and frustrations.
In fact, Ari did so well at it, she was even amongst the select few that were considered to represent her country in the Olympics!
But now?
It didn't take a genius to tell that she was no longer on earth. Perhaps she wasn't even in the realm of the living?
In any case, what was she supposed to do now? She knew nothing about this place and had no goals to strive towards.
Frankly, she felt like an arrow without a target. Without a bow, even.
Nate let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair as he said, "You know... life can suck sometimes, huh?"
"What...?" Ari muttered whispered without thinking.
"Think about it." Nate looked vacantly in the air in front of him as a melancholic smile crossed his face. "Even if you were living happily, with a family you love and loves you back. Even if you've been trying your best to live like a good person all your life. Even if you do everything perfectly, committing no wrongs whatsoever..."
Nate's hand gripped his thigh tightly, his nails digging into his flesh as the veins on his arms threatened to burst from the exertion.
"...sometimes, things can still go horribly, horribly wrong," he said, through gritted teeth. "Just... all that joy... gone. In the blink of an eye."
Ari gulped as she felt the roiling emotions Nate was radiating. Even from their first meeting, Nate had given off a calm and collected, even stoic, impression on her. She didn't expect him to be capable of displaying such intensity.
Even though he wasn't looking at her at the moment, Ari felt stifled just hearing him.
"Haaah..." After a few moments, Nate sighed, as the tension in his body was released and he deflatedly leaned back into his chair again. "But that's life."
His auburn hair covered his eyes as he smiled sadly after saying that.
"..." Ari couldn't tell why, but she felt denial, reluctance, anger, and acceptance all at the same time from his demeanor.
'Maybe we're the same...' she thought. Ari found the idea that there was someone else who'd lived a crappy life just like her somewhat comforting. Although, she knew that feeling this way was wrong.
Nate let out another sigh before combing back his hair with his hand, showing off his bright blue eyes that shined like jewels in all their glory. Ari couldn't help but flinch when he turned his gaze toward her.
"Ari, when things like that happen, personally, I think people can be split into two separate categories."
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He held out both of his hands' forefingers.
"The people that do."
He shook his right hand...
"And those that do not."
... then his left.
"Are you listening?" Nate stared into her eyes, his gaze solemn.
Ari nodded vigorously. "Y-yes...!"
"Good." he nodded as he put down his right hand and waggled his left finger. "First, are the people that do not."
"Wh-why is that one...?" she couldn't help but question. She'd thought he would explain the other one first.
"Because there's more of these types of people, Ari." Nate sneered.
"Oh..."
"A calamity strikes." he continued. "It can be... a natural disaster, the death of your family's breadwinner... or your loved one falling very ill."
Nate brandished his left finger.
"The Do Nots, will likely do nothing. Or next to nothing." his lips curled up into a disdainful sneer as he continued. "They'll just let others in their group or community worry. Or let the government help them. Maybe they'll just throw their hands up in the air and give up. Cursing heaven, or cursing fate. Blaming others for what happened to them."
Nate scoffed.
"As if their god would swoop down and relieve them of their problems. And as if finding other people to blame would make their lives return to the way it was."
Ari flinched. Nate's words cut deep into her psyche like a hot knife through butter. Even though she knew he wasn't particularly referring to her, she couldn't help but feel like the description suited her recent self to a tee.
She'd just moped in guilt, while inwardly wishing for someone to tell her that she wasn't at fault, that she couldn't be blamed.
"These people just go with the flow." Nate looked out the window. The sun was starting to reach its highest point. "They are the type of people who get lost when they suddenly lose sight of their goal."
Ari's shoulders twitched. Again, she was stung by his words.
"Now..." Nate put down his left hand and raised his right. "The people that choose to do."
He waved his forefinger in front of her, checking to see if she was still listening. When he was sure that she was, he continued.
"You can see them all the time in TV shows and movies." Nate waved casually in the air. "A natural disaster strikes, and then there's that person running around telling people to evacuate and making sure that nobody's left behind. Scary monster shows up, the person yells to snap their friends out of their dazes, then tells them where to run to."
He brought his finger down and used it to tap on the table in front of them.
"One could mistake this as just being present of mind, but the way I see it, these people were being decisive."
"Decisive..." Ari echoed.
"These people know what it is that they want, and then they do the things they think they need to do to accomplish them." Nate smiled. "There are even some of these people, who will do anything to achieve their goals."
A dark look crossed his eyes for a moment as he spoke, but it only lasted for a fraction of a second. Ari couldn't help but think that she had hallucinated.
"People who will abandon their morality, the person they were, and the person they wanted to become..." Nate paused to take a deep breath. "Just to acquire what they desire."
Ari almost squealed in shock when she felt her hand get grabbed.
"Let me ask you, Ari." Nate tightly squeezed her hand as he directed her gaze toward him. "Which one are you?"
"I..."
"We've already established that you feel guilty over the old man's death. Now, what do you plan to do about that?"
"Ah... I d-don't..."
"Do you plan to repent? If so, how?"
"..." Ari wracked her brain, but still couldn't come up with an answer. "I don't know..."
"Then what about your companions? Or rather, your former companions." Nate eased up his grip as he continued, "Can you still face them? After what you did?"
"I-I..." Ari stuttered in hesitation, but the truth was, she already knew her answer.
She couldn't.
Not after leaving them to die like that.
Even if they welcomed her back with open arms, she wouldn't be able to bear the guilt if she stayed with them.
If that was true... then that meant that she'd be all alone in this world.
Uncle Sam was dead and she couldn't stay with Brent and Hugo.
She didn't know anybody else in this world.
Would she be able to make new companions? Would anyone even place their trust in someone like her, who had a record of abandoning people?
The severity of her situation finally dawned on her.
Ari subconsciously rubbed her arms around herself as she shivered in anxiety for her future.
"I see..." Nate muttered as he observed her. "Ari, is it clear which one you are?"
"Y-yes..."
"Do or Do Not." he brought his face close to her ear and whispered. "You're part of the latter."
Ari shivered at his judgment. Even though she'd thought so herself, it was a different feeling when it was told to her by someone else.
Someone she respected. Someone that had saved her life...
Someone she thought would continue to save her.
"But that's okay, Ari." Nate's voice took on a gentle tone. "Because I'll be here for you."
"Wh-what...?"
Shocked, Ari turned to face him, only for her to be surprised. They were so close to each other that their noses were only the length of a pinky finger apart.
She wanted to turn away but couldn't seem to do so as she stared into Nate's sapphire blue eyes.
"Wh-what do you mean...?"
"I mean, that it doesn't matter that you're like the way you are..." Nate's arm snaked around her waist. "Because I'll compensate for your inadequacies."
Ari felt her body being pulled closer but she just let it happen. She felt her eyes water as her heart beat a mile a minute. Never before was she this close to a man.
'Wh-what is happening...'
Her breathing turned rougher as she felt Nate's eyes peer into her soul.
"I will do everything that you can't, Ari," he whispered to her. "And if you can't decide on what direction you want to take, then just let me do it for you."
She trembled.
"If you always feel lost at sea... then I can be your compass." Nate got even closer, his breath tickling her face. "Knowing what you want is hard. Making decisions is hard. Right?"
Ari nodded in a daze.
"Then you don't have to do it. If you stay with me, I'll do it all for you."
"Th-that's..."
"If you don't have a goal, then I'll give you one." Nate's voice dripped with honey as his tempting words invaded her mind. "And if you're worried about what other people will say about you, then you don't have to worry about that either. Because I will make sure they pay for it."
Nate held out an arm and pointed outside.
"That big red monster? It does whatever I say."
The hand he was holding out radiated with a dark gas. The instincts Ari didn't even know she had warned her of how dangerous that smoke was.
"And I know magic, Ari."
He took out a knife from under his clothes and made a huge cut on his arm, scaring Ari out of her wits.
"What are you...!"
"Look." he shook his arm, prompting Ari to look at it. It was good that she did since she was just in time to watch it heal rapidly. In a fraction of a second, the arm looked as if it was never even cut at all.
"H-how..."
"I have a superpower. It's been with me since I was young." Nate explained. "Do you get it now?"
"G-get what...?"
"Geez..." he sighed in exasperation. "Dumb girls can be cute sometimes, but you can't overdo it okay?"
The arm he had wrapped around her waist pulled her even closer as he raised her chin.
"I'm saying that I want you, Shin Ari."
Ari gulped as her mind spun.
"Just place everything on my shoulders. I will shield you from everything," he whispered. His words sounded like an offer from the devil to Ari, but she couldn't help but want to agree.
"Really?" Ari stared hopefully into his eyes as she waited for his answer. "You really want... someone useless like me...?"
"Don't talk down on yourself." Nate smiled as he chuckled. "You're the way you are right now because you lack direction. Just like an arrow. It's just a stick with a piece of metal on it..."
He pointed his chin to her bow, leaning against a wall.
"But with a bow..."
He then nodded toward the window, where the sun shone high into the sky.
"And a target. It's lethal."
'An arrow...'
She'd just made the same comparison in her mind earlier, but the way Nate put it made it sound so positive.
That was true. If she was an arrow without a target, then she would just need a new one. Same with a bow. She would just need a replacement.
Her heart filled with newfound hope.
Nathaniel Spencer's Perspective
'I did it...'
Nate watched as the young woman's eyes changed. She looked like she was convinced.
Now, Nate just had to improve their relationship and continue to prove to her that he could talk the talk and walk the walk.
In other words, there were no changes in his original plans.
"And besides..." Nate added while he smirked. "Who wouldn't want you? You're quite pretty, you know."
"Whu--" Ari spluttered.
"You don't believe me?" he put on an incredulous expression. "Have you not looked into a mirror your entire life?"
"I-it's not that..." she averted her gaze.
Nate's smile grew when he noticed how her ears were starting to turn red.
"So? What do you think?"
"..." Ari bit her lip as she ruminated, but eventually she cleared her throat and asked, "What... do I have to do? You'd do so much for me... you're expecting something in return, right?"
"Of course I am." Nate nodded. "In exchange for protecting you, helping you find your purpose, and all the other things I promised..."
Ar gulped in anticipation as her hands fidgeted on her lap.
"You just stay by my side."
"Huh...?" Ari raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"
Nate chuckled when he saw the traces of disappointment on her face.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yep." he nodded. "Don't underestimate how difficult that is. I don't live a peaceful life of just lounging about in this village..."
Nate then began to give a short explanation about his purpose of reaching the altar in the center of the forest. He also told her about magic, about the things they would have to fight along the way, and that they weren't even sure what else they had to fight.
"So that's it..." she nodded in understanding. "So that red guy outside was defeated by you, then you somehow turned it into a servant?"
"Yes." Nate smiled in satisfaction as he asked her, "Do you understand, now? Staying with me won't be as easy as you thought."
"I understand..." Ari nodded, but then her eyes widened as if she remembered something. She turned her face away in embarrassment. "I understand, so can you let go of me now..."
She'd almost forgotten that Nate hadn't let go of her waist all this time, so they were practically glued together.
Nate chuckled as he smiled. "Do I have to? This is pretty nice, actually."
Ari couldn't take it anymore, she pushed him away and stood up to widen the gap. She couldn't understand why she'd let him touch her so intimately for so long.
Seeing her react like a frightened kitten, Nate's laughter grew louder.
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