《Dungeon Park (Funny LitRPG Dungeon Core Romp)》Part Four (Eureka)
Advertisement
PART FOUR
But it kept bugging me!
I'd be shopping and see a security guard and I'd think of Lennie.
I'd be in a jewelry shop staring at rubies.
I'd find myself accidentally buying, downloading, and reading entire dungeon core LitRPG series.
I may be slightly gilding the lily here, but you get the idea. I still had that tingly feeling in my brain and it was all tied to dungeon 386.
The Magical Moment
I had a pretty normal start to the day. By normal I mean 'not thinking about computer games even a little bit'.
It went like this:
9 am, virtual book club, established in the First Pandemic and still going strong. (The group's called The Great American Novel Coronavirus. The week in question we were talking about Portnoy's Complaint.)
11 am, browsing the local antique music store (Run by the pun-loving founder of the book club, it's called 'A Tale of Two CDs')
12, light, vegan lunch topped with sprinklings of superfoods.
1 pm, meditation
2 pm, light exercise
3 pm, shower
UNRELIABLE NARRATOR WARNING!
Okay, it's possible that's not EXACTLY how my day went. There might have been leftover pizza, sweat pants, money panic, some light cyberstalking. The point is, I wasn't thinking about the BetterVerse and then I had a big shower.
In the Shower
My brain, while consciously distracted from dungeons for a few hours, had SUBconsciously been putting two and two together. Twenty seconds into the shower I was suddenly fizzing, sparking, EXPLODING with ideas. All these derived from one big Idea, with a capital I. I didn't invent the stalk, or the skin, or the flesh - I invented the whole of the apple right there in one go. It was exhilarating! I was a' whoopin and a' hollerin. (Actually I just smiled a bit but, you know. Sometimes you've got to spice things up. In the movie version the star will run down the street wearing only a flimsy towel, showing off his 14-pack and shouting EUREKA!)
Advertisement
I had a plan.
All I had to do was convince 386 to go along with it.
Beginnings
386 was annoyed with me. "How can I agree to your proposal until I know what your concept is?"
I tapped the side of my forehead. "I can't tell you what it is until you agree! Look, bro, my plan is going to make you rich. You'll be one of the top dungeons in the world. Thousands of people will queue to get in."
"And you say there's no risk?"
"Oh there's one big risk. The risk is you'll make so much mana so quickly that your corridors will be jam packed with the stuff and you'll literally explode. Now, is that a risk you are prepared to take?"
386 sounded like he was smiling. "I won't mention that mana in its gaseous state is inert. Because if I do then I won't be able to use the aphorism, 'if you're going to go out, go out with a bang'."
"That's the spirit."
386 sighed. "Nothing like this has ever been proposed before. I will have to create a ticket for the Engine to create a new game mechanic."
My spirits dropped a little. Paperwork! Bureaucracy! I wasn't exactly in a rush to try my new plan, but there was always the risk of the author of Woke Up being caught sending anthrax to some pop star, leading to a chain of events that culminated with the skill being nuked. "Well, there's a couple of points on our side. One, what's the point of this new skill I got if I can't negotiate with entities such as yourself? And two, we'd be using existing game mechanics. People enter into contracts all the time in this game."
Advertisement
"The Engine agrees with you and has approved your scheme."
"What? When?"
"While you were blabbing. Between the word couple and the word of." 386 continued talking, but later I'd think back to this moment. It was probably the closest a player ever got to direct contact with the Engine itself. Back in the game, the core was saying, "I'm sending you a standard contract form. Fill it in to begin the negotiation phase."
I sat in my corner, diagonally opposite from Lennie, and pored over the document, filling in the blanks. I sent it back to the core, and after a few back and forths it looked like this:
Dungeon Consultancy Contract
This contract is entered into by and between [DUNGEON 386] ("386") and [Billy-Bob 'Rude Boy' Bain AKA The Ace of Raids AKA Heeeeeeere's Jonny] ("Bain"). The term of this agreement shall begin [today's date, one minute from now] and shall continue until its termination date of [December 31st, 2424].
The specific terms of this Contract are as follows:
That "Bain" shall provide expertise in the field of DUNGEON MANAGEMENT. That "386" shall avail himself of the wisdom of "Bain" and shall make fair effort to implement the ideas of "Bain". That "386" shall pay "Bain" ten percent of its mana income in the form of treasure, items, and other goodly things, where said income exceeds its current base rate of 11 MP per hour. That "386" shall not attempt to murder, execute, assassinate, kill, burn, fry, boil, poison, decapitate, or in any way harm or make itchy the person of "Bain". That should "Bain" fail to increase the mana income of "386" ten-fold within a calendar year, "Bain" must destroy "386" with hammers. (Hammers to be provided by "Bain".)
This Contract may not be etc etc.
The Signing Ceremony
The 400-year length of the contract started as a joke, but we kept it in. We were both happy with the deal, and we signed it. There was a really awkward 60 seconds after that because the deal only started one minute after signing. (I didn't have any experience of drawing up contracts and the stipulation sorta made it seem more professional.)
The arbitrator would be The Engine itself, apparently. 386 told me it was 'tickled' by the scenario and would be keeping an eye on us. Fine by me! There didn't seem to be any way for 386 to cheat me, but with things like this, who knew?
"The die is cast," said 386. "I am ready to receive the secret."
Lennie stirred. He stood up and tilted his head, waiting for me to reveal my grand design. My masterplan. His hips jiggled as though he was wagging his tail.
"Okay, 386. Lennie. Here's what you're doing wrong." I paused, enjoying the limelight. "You've got to stop killing your customers."
Advertisement
- In Serial56 Chapters
Doom Guy Isekai
A very familiar soldier, used to battling the 'endless' hordes of Hell, is eventually overrun and dies. But his war isn't over yet.
8 146 - In Serial28 Chapters
Vampire in the Harry Potter World(Hiatus)
When Kai is killed in a terrorist attack, he wakes up in a forest a few miles west of a small town called Godric's Hollow and finds himself with superior strength, speed... When Kai moves through the town he discovers an attack on one of the families what will he do? -This is my first time writing a novel so I will havemistakes, so I'd appreciate it if you couldpoint them out.-The type of vampire is the vampire from twilight with some of my own changes.-I want to point out that both HP and Twilight don't belong to me. I'm also writing this on Qidian International
8 277 - In Serial11 Chapters
Clashing Worlds (Hiatus)
Zetsu Nozomu is a 13 years old middle school student, Lives in Tokyo Shibuya district, Japan together with his dad. One day he was walking home from school, when he was about to cross the street. A truck came at him, but just before he was hit, he teleported to weird place, what seemed to be a destroyed city. As Zetsu was looking around confused, a man wearing a cloak suddenly jumped from a destroyed building and appeared right before him, starting an adventure that might put an end to his unsuccessful daily life as a self proclaimed failure. Follow Zetsu Nozomu as he discovers his ability to travel between his world and other dimension as he trying to find answers while exploring the new alternate version of Japan.
8 459 - In Serial31 Chapters
Planet At War
A planet in a perpetual state of war. And the story of its soldiers fighting on it. I'm using this book to challange myself to write everyday, so if you find any bad grammer or weirdly structured sentences, please tell me! That's how a writer get's better at writing. Thanks for giving this book a chance
8 180 - In Serial75 Chapters
Reduced to Stardust
゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚ For many, death is the end. For Lorenzo, it is only the beginning. Lorenzo, the highest-ranking player in MMORPG Battleshift, is murdered in real life as a result of his virtual crimes and sent to the afterlife. There, he encounters God and finds out his soul is tainted, barring him from the pearly gates. There's only one way he can prove himself - by being transported to a fantasy world, where his second life lies in a realm of magic and swords. Only catch is, he's 10 years younger and dirt poor! Guided by his greed and experience as a pro MMORPG gamer, Lorenzo must navigate this strange new land as a 12-year-old version of himself and survive the dangers that await. As he encounters slum dwellers, church plots, and shattered unmentionables - his chance at redemption looks bleaker than ever. New chapters every Friday, 9PM PST! ゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚ Story by: Bonbocchi Art by: God Complex ゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚・。+☆+。・゚
8 139 - In Serial17 Chapters
Trap and Fade: The Worst Fantasy
Light blinds the man. Dark dreads the man. His confusing existence reached from apathy to unexpected fate. Aoki Sasaki is the one who suffered for this. He bears from nothing to something. He who struggles is the one who stumbles from nothing. He craves satisfaction to cure his apathy. ----------------------------------------- This is the story of the boy named Aoki Sasaki who was sent to the world which he stumbled to be prejudiced as "The Greatest Threat throughout this world" although it gave him no clue as of—why? Even if fate offers him to create his own peace, what will be the result of the world? Follow his journey to ignore these circumstances before someone will chase and hunt him down.
8 86