《My Ex-Girlfriend is the Strongest Guild Master and I'm the Weakest!》5 - Emergency Loaning

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“Is that… Unus Town?" Alan asked, flabbergasted, watching new, tall buildings that did not exist during his previous visit.

"It is," Smaio replied, instructing the insect to take the road to their left, circling the outskirts. "I'm going to deliver the gloomshrooms. What about you?"

"We’ll be fine. Will you be okay returning on your own?"

"Yes, the weasenox only spawns once a day."

"Drop us here then. And good luck."

"Farewell, Users. May the Goddess Viola bless your path."

"Do you think Viola programmed them to worship her unconditionally?" Alan asked Ashley while observing the cart parting.

"That is something worth investigating, but it is not our priority."

"You're right, but I don't see us fulfilling our primary goal anytime soon." He crossed eyes with her. "I was in a hurry to enter The Novus, but now that I'm here I don't know where to start."

Ashley stood silent for a bit without taking her eyes off him, making him nervous.

She's pretty cute, but damn she’s weird.

"Although it may be wise to ask the residents if they have noticed anomalies in the system, remember that we must work as discreetly as possible. We must not let classified info get to regular Users."

"What do you suggest then?"

"The only people in all of Novus we could talk to regarding this issue are the Administrators."

Alan exhaled while scratching his chin. "I knew you would say something like that. Let me take the lead for a little longer, we'll still need resources and information, so let’s first travel to Londorus Capitol and reunite with Astrid, okay? I bet she’ll help us contact an Administrator."

"Understood. Just remember that no one can know about our mission. Not even her."

"Yes, I get the importance of keeping it a secret. Come on, let's find a way to get there."

We'll also need a map. The one I have only covers part of the Renovatio Caves and the road to get here.

They walked through the back alleys, the smell of food getting to them. This must be a restaurant area, and since cooking inside the Novus doesn’t produce waste, this place doesn't reek of trash or decay.

“Alan?” Ashley called out, while putting a hand against her stomach. “I don’t feel so good.”

“You must be hungry. I'm starving too.”

“But why is this body suffering such a thing?”

Wait, can she even get hungry? He first frowned at her, before remembering she did not have information about The Novus. This must be new to her....

“Listen, although the pods are constantly feeding us users with nutrients, this doesn’t change the fact that we’ll feel hunger here. And even though you're not human, the system is just doing its work by making you feel that way. See it as a necessity instead of an annoyance.”

Although this hunger is fake, I suppose the developers implemented it so that we wouldn’t forget our human fragility and dependency.

Alan glanced forward, noticing that they were a few feet away from the public street. “Let’s not gather unwanted attention. We must be like shadows. Try to blend among the—Whoa, whoa, whoa!” He looked at his surroundings, seeing fancy restaurants, giant ads, and brilliant colors everywhere he turned. “This place has changed a lot! It looks like a little city now!”

People passing him by stared at him.

“Alan,” Ashley grabbed his shoulder. “We’re gathering unwanted—”

“Look at that place! They serve ramen there. Wait, that other place serves pizza!”

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“Alan,” Ashley insisted, while the surrounding people frowned at both.

“Wait! If I’ll finally be able to get decent food after so long, I want it to be special! Come on, Ashley! Let’s go to the biggest one, that one down the street!” He pointed at an establishment where a dragon decoration seemed to try to scare them away instead of inciting them to enter. Alan rushed there while holding Ashley's hand, before noticing what he had done. "S-sorry," he said, blushing.

Her hand is so soft. Like a real girl!

“If it's really necessary, let’s go then,” she said, emotionless.

Dammit, Ashley, at least pretend that you're embarrassed too!

"Welcome," an NPC opened the door for them. "Table for two? Follow me, please."

Alan looked around. The establishment was almost full of Users drinking and laughing to their heart's content, some wearing worker's clothes and others using leather and silver armor. What stood out was a giant projection in the back, showing a pink-haired girl, dancing and singing like a pop star.

** “My he-aa-art, goes boom-boom when you’re arooound! So don’t leave!” **

There's even entertainment created by Users now? That's cool! I wonder if they have tried making movies yet.

Once they took their seats, the hostess smiled at them. “I have never seen you around. First time coming?”

“Y-yes.”

“You can access the menu by pushing this button and a waitress will bring your food as soon as she can. Enjoy your meal.”

Just as the hostess walked away, Ashley quickly leaned towards him to whisper. "Alan, please provide me with a crash course on how to eat."

I never thought I would hear something like that in my entire life.

He cleared his throat, making his best effort not to chuckle. "Don't stuff big pieces into your mouth. Chew first and then swallow. Don't talk while eating... You know what? Just follow my example."

“Understood.”

The sight of an NPC waitress caught his attention, and his gaze quickly focused on her maid dress, apron, and thigh-high stockings. Just watching these beauties makes me feel rejuvenated! I had forgotten how cute girls, real or imitations, move and talk!

Wait a minute...

He whispered to Ashley: "I have a task for you.”

“If it's in my capabilities, consider it done,” Ashley replied in a serious tone, which made Alan feel guilty.

Just a little.

“Do you agree that we must blend between the people?”

“Correct. If we can pass as regular Users, that would help us achieve our goal.”

“In that case, I think you should learn how to act more… girly.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen you walk…”

“What about it?”

“Your posture and movements are very rigid.”

She stared at him thoughtfully. “Do I look, what you would describe as, unnatural?”

“Yes! I didn't want to mention it earlier, but you move like The Santa María's automatons.”

“I understand. I’ll study the way these females walk then,” she said, staring at a nearby waitress.

“Please, do that.” Satisfied with that outcome, Alan pushed the button within reach of his hand and a virtual screen appeared in front of him. At the top was displayed the name of the establishment and a rudimentary animation of a dragon dancing. “Ashley, order something too. Whatever you think you would like.”

“I do not have experience knowing which food is the most appropriate for me. Order for me please.” she said, without taking her eyes off every waitress that passed nearby.

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“Fine. I suppose I could choose what could be considered, ‘food for first-timers’. What am I even saying? What about this? Smashed potatoes, a bowl of chicken soup, and a lemonade for her. A hamburger with fries, lasagna, apple pie, and a soda for me... Oh, god, I can already taste it all.”

Only two minutes had passed before a waitress brought all the food to them, carrying the dishes as if they weighed nothing, and placed them all on Alan's side of the table. “Sorry, but I haven’t received the lady’s order.”

“Oh, right, that’s okay, I ordered for her. See?” He passed the soup and mashed potatoes to Ashley, who scrutinized the employee.

“I see,” the waitress said, smiling widely like a doll. “Enjoy your meal.”

Haven’t I seen her before? Alan thought, as both of them stared at her. Wait, we look weird acting like this.

“Ashley, please put a hold on your… research, and dig in.”

“Why would I want to dig here?”

“Eat... please.”

Ashley looked at her food, studying it. She took the bowl of soup first and lifted it, putting its edge against her lips.

“You should have used the spoon, but that’s okay too,” Alan said, nodding, ready to munch on his hamburger until a liquid sound made him turn his gaze towards her. “Ashley!” he cried with closed teeth. “Swallow!”

She stopped. Lips, chin, neck, and chest soaked in chicken soup. “By your reaction, I understand I made some kind of mistake.”

“Here.” He grabbed the spoon. “Fill it first, like this. Put it in your mouth and practice how to swallow.”

It’s like teaching a newborn! He glanced at her chest. The system’s physics had accurately rendered how a wool dress like hers would look wet, lining her medium-sized breasts perfectly.

It’s not okay to stare, Alan, even if she’s not a real girl. He massaged his forehead until feeling a set of eyes on him. He looked at the table beside them and found a man observing him while munching. Be a shadow, Alan.

“Hey,” the man called aloud. “Are you bugged?”

I’m going to regret this.

“Excuse me?”

“It says that you’re level 5.” The man pointed at the number above Alan’s head. “That’s why I’m asking if you’re suffering from a bug.”

How to escape from this conversation without him asking more questions?

“That’s the same thing I was wondering. It happened yesterday, so I’m going to Londorus to get some help.”

“Good, check that out. It’s pretty odd.”

“Maybe an administrator could help you out.” The man’s partner joined the conversation while sipping beer.

Finally, a clue!

“Do you know where I could—?”

“Good luck with that though!” Both laughed.

“Y-you… You’re right,” Alan whispered before sipping his cola.

Eh?! Am I dreaming?! Well, yes, technically, but this tastes amazing! He started munching on his burger, as tears of joy started running down on his full cheeks. Months working outside, so that this system can keep running smoothly… All worth it.

Alan glanced at his partner, who remained quiet, staring at the contents of her bowl.

“Have you been able to swallow yet?”

“Yes.”

“So, how was it?”

“A range of pleasurable sensations has been activated in my tongue.”

“Yes… That’s a way to describe it.”

“Can I taste this too?” she asked, looking at the mashed potatoes.

“Go ahead, those two dishes are all yours.”

“Thanks,” she said, using the same spoon. After taking a mouthful, her expression, although neutral at a first glance, showed a glimmer in her eyes.

I’m witnessing something unique...

“Do you like it?” he asked, grinning.

“Yes.”

“Here.” He cut a piece of his burger and offered it to her. “This is quite different, it's solid, you’ll have to chew first.”

“When will I know it’s time to swallow it?”

“I think you’ll have to practice to get used to it, I don’t want you to choke, so at least chew it like 30 times.”

“Understood,” she said while putting the whole piece in her mouth, chewing slowly, then quicker. Finally swallowing. “Alan Warden, I do not intend to take away more of your food. Can I order the same thing for me?”

“Sure, go crazy and order whatever you want.”

Ashley quickly pressed the button on her side of the table and started tapping every dish available to order.

Oh, come on!

He opened the menu again and checked the prices, ranging from 100 to 300 gold. Ah, this is all pretty cheap, actually. Fine, if you can’t finish it all, I’ll help you. He giggled, remembering the 100,030 gold in his account.

“Let’s see who can eat more! Are you ready?!” He pointed at her face with her index finger while she remained silent, chewing.

Oh, right, I told her not to talk while eating…

Minutes later, Alan would find out that every dish had a temperature slider. Which is kind of neat and crazy, you know!

While eating, he consulted his User Interface to check his status again and his friend list again, finally noticing that one of the menu options was not available.

‘Error?’ It does nothing when I tap it, and I can’t recall if it was available before logging out.

“Isa—I mean, Ashley? Could you do me a favor and open your User Interface? What does it say under the Guild option?”

“I do not have the Guild option.”

“Figures. Above System?”

She stared at the window for a moment. “It says ‘Error’.”

* * *

And this, my friends, is called gluttony…

“What was I thinking?” he said before burping.

“I feel a minor discomfort in the stomach, but excluding that, this was a pleasant experience.”

“Yeah, let’s just call it that, grurhp…”

“Hey.” A new customer occupied the table next to them and called him aloud. “Are my eyes deceiving me, or…”

“It’s a bug. I’ll try to fix it once I travel to Londorus. Have a nice day!”

After putting away the last plate, the waitress strolled towards them, eternally grinning. “Did you enjoy your meal, sir, miss?"

“Yes, it was quite pleasant,” Ashley replied, nodding for the first time since she had logged in.

Quick learner... Grurhp… Oh, god...

“I’m glad to hear that. Thanks for coming to the Dragon’s Belly. Here’s your bill.”

While feeling heartburns, Alan squinted hard at the waitress, finally recognizing her. “Miss! Did you use to work at the Town Hall?”

The NPC did not remove the grin off her face. “That is correct, sir. Until a year ago when the new Mayor rescinded my services. Fortunately, Lord Reed has given me work here. Anything else I can do for you?” She pushed the floating window toward him, still smiling.

I don’t see a glimpse of resentment in her. As expected from a basic AI.

He looked at the window, a circle waiting for him to put his thumb on it. I don’t know why, but it sounded like she was sold to the owner of this place. All of them. He quickly glanced at the rest of the waitress and the hostess and wondered if the chefs were NPCs too. He pushed his thumb against the virtual bill to pay it.

A message popped up.

NO FUNDS

“Huh?”

“Sorry to bother you, sir, but could you try again?”

He did, finding the same results.

“What is happening, Alan?” Ashley asked, quietly.

“I… I don’t understand…” He muttered while opening his Status tab. “I should have the money to pay for everything we…” He opened his eyes wide at the sight of his money balance. “30 gold… I only have 30 gold left…”

He glanced at the silent waitress, who was putting a finger on the side of her head where she had something her left metallic fox ear.

She’s contacting someone!

“Are you shitting me?!” A slender young man cried from the second floor. “Where is he?!”

The waitress remained silent, finger on her communicator, as the man jumped down easily despite his fragile physique.

“Wait!” Alan pleaded at the waitress who walked away without gazing back.

“Is this some sort of prank, kid?” The man rushed to pull Alan from the collar of his clothes, lifting him off the ground. Alan could see he had golden teeth.

“What? No!”

“Wanting to gain subscribers by making stupid pranks at hard workers like me?! Where is your stupid camera?!”

“N-no, sir! I’m not trying to trick you or to be funny, I swear! I don’t even know how to tell a good joke! Like, why did the engineer backstab his coworkers? Because he was sus—!”

“Shut the f—!" The man stopped mid-sentence after looking at the number above Alan’s head. "Wait a minute. Are you level 5? Why?”

Oh, crap Alan also glanced at the man’s level. 33?! What?! Double crap!

“Your orders, Alan,” Ashley said while putting a hand on the hilt of her dagger.

The man quickly sneered. “Don’t try anything stupid.”

“He’s right,” another voice was heard from the table next to them where a warrior rested, casually sipping coffee and holding a spear over his right shoulder. “He’s not alone.”

Alan could not see that man's level. Which only means one thing!

“Ashley, put your weapons down. Please, just let me explain! Before entering your fine establishment, I had 100,000 gold on my account, I swear!”

“A level 5 with that kind of money, yeah, right!”

“It’s true! Let us pay you in another way then! My partner has a set of silver armor that…”

“I don’t want your shitty gear, kid! I want my—!”

“I’ll pay his bill,” a woman said aloud, from the second floor. Alan glanced at her, wearing purple robes and smoking from a sleek cigarette holder. “On the condition that he tells me that story of his. Come, young man.” The woman turned around and walked back to her table.

The owner of the restaurant let Alan go, but blocked his path to the exit. “You heard Lady Monique,” he grunted. “Hurry up and go upstairs.”

“Alan?” Ashley called while not taking her eyes off the armed User at her side.

“Let’s do as she says for the moment,” Alan said, walking up the stairs. On the second floor was a more modest number of tables, and at the farthest corner, Lady Monique was waiting.

A slim young woman wearing glasses, a business suit, and a braid stood by her side.

“T-thanks, Lady Monique,” Alan said, too nervous to get close, but the woman gestured for them to sit down.

Monique looked in her late twenties, with straight platinum hair and caramel skin. “Don’t mistake this as an act of charity, young man. That would ruin my reputation.” She took a bite of her steak while scrutinizing their clothes. “A level 5 alleging to have a considerable amount of money, and yet, wearing such ragged clothes?”

Alan could feel Ashley's cautious gaze.

Yes, I know. I’ll be discreet.

“I’m not lying, ma’am, I had that gold before entering the town. Maybe I got pickpocketed on my way here.”

“Who would waste their time searching the contents of a Low-leveler?” Monique’s bodyguard said, glaring at him. "And why does a noob like you still exist, anyway?"

“Don’t be like that, Risette, I believe in his words.”

“You do?” Alan said, astonished.

“Sure, why not? I’ve heard crazier things during my time here. Tell me something first, is ‘five’ really your level, or is it a system’s error?”

“An error. Definitely.”

“Are you in a guild?” she asked, making him purse his lips. “Oh, don’t worry. I just need to know where to look for you to retrieve this debt of yours. Because I’m just lending you the money until you can pay me back.”

He nodded. “S-Shooting Stars.”

“What?” Risette squinted. “If this is a joke…”

“It’s not,” he said, making his voice deeper.

Risette shrugged. “I don’t really care, but if one of the real Shooting Stars catches you saying that, I don’t think you would have the chance to lie ever again.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?!” Alan cried, rising from his place and making the table move. "You make them sound like a bunch of criminals!"

"If the shoe fits…"

“Sit. We aren’t done talking yet,” Monique said without raising her voice, but Alan could sense a threatening tone. “And don’t interrupt us again, Risette. I'm the one talking here.”

The bodyguard clicked her teeth and folded her arms.

Monique mildly grinned at him. “Instead of arguing like children, there is a way of proving you’re right. Mister…”

“Alan… Warden.”

“Yes, Mister Alan.” She sipped on wine. “Add me to your friend list and send me a message stating that you owe me... How much was it? Risette, go ask.”

“Fine,” she muttered, walking towards the table where the owner could be seen, still glaring at Alan.

If she doesn’t ask me anything else regarding my level, I suppose this is an excellent way to get out of this.

He watched as the woman started typing something in her User Interface until he got a friend request.

NEW FRIEND REQUEST!!!

Add Monique Ascencio to your contacts?

SURE !

NOPE !

Risette strolled back towards their table. “The bill is for 4800 gold, ma’am.”

“Very well, Alan Warden. Write that you owe me 10,000 gold. Consider the extra amount as interest.”

Alan reluctantly wrote the amount on the private message. “I promise to pay you as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said softly as she glanced at her right, receiving a notification. She tapped on it and read the message thoroughly. “This will do. You can go now.”

Alan did not need to hear it twice. “Thank you, ma’am... I... We’ll be in contact. Good night.” He quickly stood up and walked away, followed by Ashley, while ignoring a glare from Risette.

“Good night to you too,” Monique said quietly as the couple took the stairs down, followed by the restaurant’s owner's gaze. “Very interesting,” Monique said to her bodyguard, who took a seat.

“Was that clown telling the truth, ma’am?”

Monique stared at her system window, where Alan’s chat remained open.

PRIVATE MESSAGES

From: Alan Warden

Shooting Star’s Co-Leader

I, Alan Warden, owe Monique Ascencio, 10,000 gold.

Thanks for helping me, you wonderful, nice lady! - xoxo

“We could use this info,” Monique said, puffing from her cigarette and releasing smoke in her window’s direction.

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