《Short River Songs》Shakespeare's Soviet Scrabble Song
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Shakespeare, The Soviet Union, Scrabble
Shakespeare's Soviet Scrabble Song
Act 1
Writers come along sometimes who change the world around
authors with their heads in clouds but feet upon the ground
and though we often grant Shakespeare with credit for his plays
Shakespeare’s efforts didn’t end back in the olden days
What I’m singing now has long been highly classified
to retrieve this information, many people died
but it’s time the world became aware of these events
of how Shakespeare shook the modern era’s governments
In the year of our lord sixteen hundred and sixteen
April twenty-third was the worst day the arts had seen
many think that too much drink became Shakespeare’s downfall
and though it ended his career, that story isn’t all
For what he drank that fateful day was not an ale or port
it was not a wine, at least not of the mortal sort
he was gifted that old bottle late one winter’s night
by an audience member who gave him quite a fright
She dressed in clothes that didn’t suit her, not in such a place
and there was something odd about the older woman’s face
“take a drink of this and you might come to understand
all the power you could wield with your prodigious hand”
The bottle sat upon a shelf until next April came
a tempting looking bottle with no label, smell, or name
Shakespeare took a drink while he was chatting with his friend
and when he died of fever the next day, it was the end
Act 2
In the year of our lord, nineteen hundred eighty-nine
Shakespeare lay within his grave,a victim of that wine
but it was strange when he awoke and opened up his grave
and found himself within a church and saw a small child wave
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He ran outside and saw the world was not like he had known
but soon he noticed it was where he lived, though it had grown
he wandered down a road and got some looks along the way
and shed a tear when on a street sign he read “Hathaway”
He walked some more and noticed things had not all changed so much
there were many roads he knew that had a foreign touch
the people all around him spoke his language, but not quite
then a certain building that he knew entered his sight
An inn belonging to the father of his childhood friend
people on whom he knew that he could always depend
though the building now was called the The White Swan, he went in
the portrait on the wall was proof he’d found the correct inn
An old man offered him a drink for dressing as he did
“I bet that costume cost you more than just a couple quid”
Shakespeare introduced himself as Will and then sat down
and wasn’t sure what drink he had, but it was cold and brown
He asked the old man many questions of the city streets
drinking with him til their faces both were red as beats
he was quite astonished by the things the man had said
and wondered if he’d dreamt the day when he went up to bed
Act 3
In the morning he came down to find the world still there
he sat down where he used to write his plays without a care
he reminisced all day while people came to say hello
as he learned their dialect, and smiled for a photo
Later that night his new old friend came and sat with him
“bet you’re good at scrabble” the old man said on a whim
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he set the game up on a table and taught Will the rules
and for the next week Will made the whole tavern feel like fools
“How come he knows all those words, I thought he was a loon”
“and when it’s his turn he makes seven letter words so soon”
“I’m sure he just made that word up, so why don’t I mind”
“it’s like when he plays the game, the rules get left behind”
Will began to make some money, betting on the game
and people came from all around when they all heard his name
“Will the scrabble genius is playing here tonight”
“come test your vocabulary, be prepared to fight”
Will was having so much fun, the time just flew right by
Then one day he met a challenger who was a spy
“Will, I have an offer that I won’t let you refuse
I’ll give you a million dollars if you do not lose”
Act 4
The man was from America, and Will went right along
he thought it would be fun travel on and wasn’t wrong
flying through the air in a big jet filled him with awe
while he flew he learned about international law
“You’ll be representing our great nation at the match
if you lose, we have a nuke we’re likely to dispatch
the Soviets are stronger than they’ve ever been before
with their English, they could beat us in any flame war”
Shakespeare was determined he said he’d do his best
the spy had given him such an important, scrabble quest
so he fought the Soviets with his words, old and new
the tournament was easy, there was nothing they could do
In a single game he once invented nine knew terms
his words were flying high while other felt like lowly worms
every word he made up on the spot was written down
and instantly became official in that very town
After he had won the scrabble fight, the world was saved
the spies all loved the road to peace that Shakespeare’s words had paved
he then retired happily beyond the public eye
never writing plays again, though no one could know why
The rumours go that later he got on the internet
and though he has been writing, he’s not published on here yet
but the day might come real soon, when Shakespeare’s work returns
to grace the web with golden words for which the whole world yearns
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