《Chasing Darkness》Not a Chapter: Author Reflection + Changes
Advertisement
Thank you! Wow, just thank you to all the people who comment and supported me during the release of this first little Nugget. I have been wanting to write something for a very long time now. I've been on RoyalRoad for about 5 years now. Some stories I still think back fondly on while others I still follow today. Pokemon seemed like an easy way to have some training wheels on. I have over a decades worth of experience in the Pokemon games and I know all the game mechanics inside out. This allowed me to be flexible but not fall into any obvious plot holes regarding story. The great thing about FanFic's is that the world is already built for you, and I just added my own flare and writing style.
This will just be a quick reflection on my writing. I think it's important to analyze and look back at what I did well and what I did poorly. This is a basic strategy for improving oneself.
I really liked the way I took Moves, Abilities and lore from Pokemon and turned them into a more “Real Life” feel. Fights feel much more dynamic. and connected less with number and more with reality.
The main structure of the arc went well. I had planned out most of it before even writing the first word. The main theme was a shift from survival to caring about the future. I wanted to show Lilith’s ambition to grow. and I did show that well. The first couple days were focused solely on survival until she branched out from there.
Buoy was meant as a catalyst for change and also happened to fit with my narrative of a Ranger coming to check out the deserted town, starting the search to finally end the arc. It had dual meaning in that the Incin Vs Houndoom came right after, showing her a possibility of what would come to pass. I still feel a little shaky about Stuart. He was meant as a temporary character to fall to the side, but he felt much more when putting words down. His connection with Melinda was planned, but I didn't really stop to consider the impact.
Advertisement
That leads me to Pansage. He was introduced first to add to the ending. He appears and we get to know him, and then his rivalry was built up to finish off with Croagunks death to finish the arc full circle. I had avoided anything too gruesome to add a jarring feeling. I wanted the moment to feel raw and emotional.
I think my Characters were all fleshed out well for the beginning of the story. Everyone has room to grow and my foundation is set. I do have other new characters planned out so get ready for that! I think my syntax is nothing world breaking, but definitely unique. My grammar overall felt read-able.
With that, I move onto some things I disliked. At some points, I purposely used wrong sentence structure to convey different feelings. An example is the run-on sentence of Lilith breathing in and out multiple times leading to a panic attack of sorts. I wanted it to feel wrong to read, but not in a grammatical way.
I definitely think I am not skilled enough to use correct sentence structure to convey the same feeling. Something I need to work on.
Pacing. I think pacing in one full read feels much different than reading chapter to chapter. The way I split everything up is something I’m going to have to figure out how to do better.
There are some minor things here and there, but I want to focus on Croagunk as my last point. This Death was always meant to happen. I had trouble with Onix vs Aggron for this reason. I think death can be a real strong motivator if used correctly. If there is no death in a story about fighting for survival, I would argue that would break the immersion.
Pokemon in the game has no death. So this point will probably generate controversy. If I was good enough, hopefully it will be about the decisions I made up to the poit where Croagunk dies vs defeating him and letting him live because Lilith was leaving the area.
Advertisement
This concludes my thoughts and goes into an important change I will be making.
I went back and made small changes to chapters 1-10, nothing story changing, mostly small edits and descriptors. classification of levels will be changed, but nothing will affect the story.
This was my original plan
Levels to Stars
1-10 1
11-20 2
21-30 3
31-40 4
41-50 5
51-60 6
61-70 7
71-80 8
81-90 9
91-100 (10) Legendary
And this is what I will be changing it to.
Levels to Stars
1-10 0
11-20 1
21-30 2
31-40 3
41-50 4
51-60 5
61-70 6
71-80 7
81-90 8
91-100 (9) Legendary
It was just a little hard to keep everything in my head regarding where I want levels. This way, for example, anything regarding a level 34 Pokemon is a 3 Star vs what I originally had as a 4 Star.
Please let me know your thoughts on my creation thus far. A Review would be greatly appreciated, but I know there isn't much story to work with yet. Even just a comment would help me out greatly.
Advertisement
- In Serial1021 Chapters
RE: SYSTEM // SUMMONER - A Litrpg Apocalypse Redo
The first time, Earth fell. Not again. The world ended slowly as dungeon creatures and demons fought to see who could annihilate humanity first. Mana-granted abilties and the powerful leveling system were not enough to save Earth. At least not the first time. Ten years ago, Levi Morrison is about to start his very first dungeon run... this time with all his memory of the dark and desperate future intact. Determined to save his family and make a difference, Levi will stop at nothing to obtain the power necessary. No matter what he must become. (Currently updates Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday) Includes: -Leveling! Classes! Stats! Blue boxes! -Catching monsters! Leveling monsters! Evolving monsters!-Delving dungeons! Fighting in dungeons! Looting dungeons!-Social awkwardness! -Power weapons! Power armor! Awesome equipment upgrades! Does not include: -Harem/smut-Flawless logic and perfect recall-Immediate high power levels
8 3410 - In Serial73 Chapters
The Everlasting. (Completed)
An Everlasting. A title given to those who have reached a state closest to godhood. Be it through might and power or through love and compassion. These beings hold great influence over the realms. This story is about Asura, a young orphaned child, who was taught the way of the blade and has mastered the Warrior Arts at a very young age. Given a recommendation by his master, Asura ventures out to broaden his horizons and to learn magic. Follow Asura’s journey and his quest to reach Everlastinghood. Comment by the author: Looking at the chapter list, you might have noticed Volume 1 is not there. The reason is that it’s in the process of being published so I’m somewhat restricted in where and how I can post it. Edit. 18/04/2017 The first volume is now officially on sale. It is no longer possible to get the first volume for free. I am sorry but it was free for a long time and it was time for it. However if you like to support me you can find th first volume here on Amazon (getBook.at/TheEverlasting) Compared to other stories on Royal Road this one is faster paced. No artificial extensions of the story by spending forever in generic constructs, like random ranking tournaments, that don’t really matter for the overall plot. That’s the plan anyway. Volumes consist roughly of 30-35k words. Additionally: I am not a native speaker, nor have I had any formal education in the English language. I am trying very hard to improve myself. If you want to help me by proofreading my story, shoot me a PM and we’ll see if we can arrange something. Other than my thanks and fake internet points I can’t offer anything, though. Yeah, poor student here… Edit 22/06/2017 Hey the story is officially ended if i ever decide to continue it will be on another date. The ending is open for anyone to use their imagination. Thank you all for the support. I hope we could meet later in the Everlasting II. Respectfully Biako
8 412 - In Serial25 Chapters
The Chaos Within
"Get out of my head you crazy bastard!" The young man holds his head and groans. "You know what they used to call me too? That I'm merciless, tainted, and an evil crazy entity! I say I am crazy, you're crazy, we're all crazy in our own way! But, the difference is, your craziness can be cured but mine can't! My craziness will bring The whole 100 dimensions to their knees! Wanna know what time it is now? Hahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHA!" The young man's eyes flicker in red, he was laughing hysterically. No, that is not him, that's the evil man talking, in control of his body now. The whole city of Utopia was on fire, battles everywhere with people running away in fear. Chaos is standing on a hill, watching the view with a grin. He spreads his arms and laughs, "Let the Chaos begin!" -Warning Mature Contents- The story includes a lot of bloodshed scenes and murders. Copyright © Adnan Essam (Zerohands) 2018 The moral right of the author has bee asserted. All rights reserved. This story is published subject to the condition that it shall not be reproduced or retransmitted in whole or in part, in any manner, without the written consent of the copyright holder and any infringement of this is a violation of copyright law. A single copy of the materials available in this story may be made, solely for personal, non-commercial use. Individuals must preserve any copyright or other notices contained in or associated with them. Users may not distribute said copies to others, whether or not in electronic form or in hard copy, without prior written consent o the copyright holder of the materials. Contact information for requests for permission to reproduce or distribute materials available through this book are listed below:
8 200 - In Serial10 Chapters
Out of the Motherland
Russia, 1941. Operation Barbarossa. Winter has set in and the German advance is stalling before Moscow. Temperatures are dropping as the promised end to the Russian invasion has not arrived. The winter is the coldest of the century, and German troops are freezing as they push themselves through the snow towards the enemy. Meanwhile, dissent stirs among the German ranks and on their home front. Karl Tesdorpf, a captain in the 30. Infanterie-Division, is caught between his family and the Schutzstaffel - he escapes, but becomes a fugitive among his own allies. Russia, 1941. Western Front. The Soviet frontlines have been overrun again and again. Their great people are completely on the defensive. While reserves are brought in to stem the German forces, the troops on the front line are left with limited supplies and support. Whole Soviet armies are wiped out as they are surrounded and cut off, and for the troops on the ground and in the air victories are few and far between. Amid this chaos, his rifle division reduced to a tenth of their size by enemy armour, Oryl Denikin walks away from the conflict. He heads home, into German-occupied territory, but he is soon to find that his motherland is no longer the place he knew and lived. As both sides funnel their resources into the second great war in a generation, trying to force the other to break first, millions upon millions of men are caught in the middle. This is the tale of just two of them. Dedicated to Gerhard, of #55 - the reason this story exists.
8 198 - In Serial7 Chapters
ZombieMart
ZombieMart is a story about three teenagers surviving a zombie outbreak in the Appalachian region of the United States.
8 240 - In Serial10 Chapters
the demon eyes (Cheating Levi x Demon Eren)
Levi and Eren have been together for a year now but Levi has been cheating on Eren for 4 months now, Eren Finds out but hopes to still be with Levi, Levi and Eren got into a fight, Levi left Eren for good, One night Eren had a Dream (nightmare) and soiled his soul off to a demon, Now Eren is a demon and he has a trast for blood, Levi felt bad for leaving Eren and wants him back what will happen
8 187

