If Ed or Becca wondered about why all their Pokémon were out of their balls for an otherwise unremarkable shopping trip, they didn’t really show it. Maybe they figured we just wanted to stretch our legs. Whatever their rationalisation was, it was quite the procession that entered Devon Co.’s Rustboro Department Store, but it wasn’t entirely unique. The department store was huge. Maybe it was my new viewpoint that was much closer to the ground, but I counted at least four floors above ground, from the outside, not that I knew whether all of them were actually open to the public.

The ground floor was at least twenty foot high, with a central open plaza — complete with water feature that a plethora of semi- and aquatic pokemon were playing in — that went right up to a bright skylight, with glass covered full-height windows stretching from floor to ceiling for all the subsequent floors above. The main shopping area on the expansive ground floor was brightly lit, with what seemed to be daylight full-spectrum flat panels in strips at regular intervals. Goods were arranged in sections — clothing, sporting, kitchen utensils and so on — with help desks dotted around for those shoppers who needed assistance, both humans and Pokémon. Human greeters and help-staff served any human questions, and porygon conversed with not only the Pokémon but apparently also the computer systems inside the store. I couldn’t remember ever seeing anything so high tech, distantly wondering if this was just yet another part of my life lost to me, or if it was truly new. Either way, it was amazing and exciting. It changed our plans immediately. If we’d intended to be unique, then that would have been an instant loss; Pokémon were everywhere inside the store, and more to the point anything and everything that could be worn or used by or on a Pokémon was displayed at two heights, one higher up for the humans in more abstract fashion, and once again lower down on Pokémon mannequins.

“[Okay, does everyone have their shopping buddy?]” asked Becca, addressing us pokemon.

“Wait, what’s this?” I asked, preparing to give Guy The Signal.

“I dunno,” Shadow replied, “I usually stay in my ball for shopping trips. Is she saying what I think she’s saying?” the electrike asked.

“[Pair off if you want to explore the store, okay?]” Becca continued, gathering all of hers and Ed’s Pokémon together and addressing us all directly. “[You see those meeting points?]” she asked, pointing to large, well-lit pillars with pictures of pokeballs, trainers and Pokémon scattered around, all in the devon colour scheme of gold and creme. “[They’ve got scanners that will identify your owners, and they’ll let us know you want something, alright?]”

“This is… not quite what I expected,” I said, trying to sound upbeat and cheerful as Becca and Ed watched over all of us to see if we understood.

“[If there are any problems, let the porygon know, and they’ll lead you to one of us, alright? And when you’ve had enough fun, you can wait in the pokepark, or you can just go there right away if you want, alright?]” Becca pointed to a large, spacious play and relaxation area, complete with water features, trees, a rest area, sun lamps, cool zones… the works. It even had a ball-pit with slides. I half wanted to give up on the mission, but pokeball information had to come first. But ball-pit and slides immediately after! I felt my tail wag.

There was a chorus of poke-speak, and after some hasty conversations between ourselves, we all split up into pairs to go take a snoop through the store, our plans changed.

“You’re really coming with me?” I asked Bart, amused. “I would have thought you’d prefer your ball. And I would’ve thought Ziggy would’ve done anything to convince the rest of you to let him go with me.”

Bart chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “Er, h-he means well, he’s just a little… ah, eager. He actually suggested we go together, says you and I are in the ‘friend zone’ and he wants to get you something special.”

“Oh brother,” I huffed, as we headed towards the Pokémon sportswear. “He’s going to turn it into a whole thing, isn’t he?”

“Probably,” Bart laughed nervously, hunching up.

“We have got to get him someone else to fixate on,” I said. “It’s sweet, I guess, in a kind of… are all Pokémon like that? I mean you’re not, you’re like my… oh god, you are in my friend zone, aren’t you?”

“Hehe kinda, I guess?” Bart asked, blushing.

“I’m really not interested in that kind of thing right now,” I said nonchalantly, leaping in front of a ‘magic mirror’ that projected a Kanto League cap onto my fluffy head in my ‘reflection’. I admired myself wearing it, then pawed the colour selection button several times. I added shades. “Good look for me, yeah? You try.” I dragged Bart in front of the mirror, then jumped back, giggling as his reflection had a similar cap appear on it. “Suits you!” I said.

“You think?”

“Uh huh. Oh! Oh, I know… here we are!” I pawed another control, cycling through accessories until Bart’s reflection instead had a neck bandana with, after a few more manipulations, the Alolan league symbol on it. “See? It’s ironic because you’re not Alolan. Hmm, let’s try black. Bad boy, I like.”

“I could n-never-”

“Eh, play with the idea. It makes you stand out, in a good way. Could get you a tattoo! Here we go!” Moments later, I had his reflection kitted out like a pirate. We both giggled, but it was obvious that outfits for Pokémon were a big deal. The selection was huge.

Leaving the clothing and accessories behind, we headed into a weaponry, body armor and work-wear section. I’d never really thought about it, but obviously not every trainer wanted to hang on for dear life as their mount plunges through the skies, some of them preferred a proper racing, or at least riding, harness. Then there were the high visibility vests for rescue work, helmets for both sparring and cranial protection, the barding, saddles, stirrups, even workout-wear that was very faux-leather-straps-and-rings heavy. I guessed some trainers like to see their Pokémon kitted out properly when working out, huh?

“Think we can convince Ed to get one of those?” I pointed at a shoulder-saddle. “Padded for comfort and claw-resistant. I want my human transportation to be comfortable to ride on.”

“I think it’s a good idea!” Bart agreed. “You might have to give it up when you evolve though.”

“Huh?”

“Well,” Bart gestured, crossing a few aisles to a section where there was a selection of rocks mounted above more colour coordinated ‘magic mirrors’. He scampered back and dragged me over, placing me in front of a red-schemed mirror. Laser light scanned my form for a moment, and then… before me was a flareon. Instead of my normal light brown and cream colouration — I was very proud of my ruff and tail-tip — stood a fiery red and off-yellow flame Pokémon. Pure heat boiled off my coat in waves, the fur flickering like plasma. As I watched, my avatar took various cues from my body to let off various fire-type moves, from Ember to Fire Fang, even Flare Blitz and Lava Plume. “When you evolve, you’ll be a lot bigger, you might not be able to sit on his shoulder.”

“I never even considered,” I mumbled, switching to a blue and green mirror, to instead be greeted by a vaporeon that mimicked my movements. “None of these feel like me,” I said, dancing between more and more of the mirrors. “I’m still getting used to the idea of being a Pokémon at all. Maybe I… maybe I won’t be forever. I’ll never even need to evolve then.” I put a paw to the mirror currently showing an espeon. “I don’t know I deserve to.”

“What do you mean?” asked Bart. “Evolution is normal, it’s a part of growing up. I know not everyone wants to, a-and you d-don’t have to! It’s easy for you, all you have to do is just not touch a fire stone, or a water stone, or a moon stone and so on.”

I chuckled. “I guess it’s harder to eevee-volve, yeah? Or is that easier?”

“Or easier,” Bart answered with another nervous chuckle. “Just don’t go picking up any weird looking rocks and you’ll stay an eevee as long as you want. When you’re ready, if you’re ready, we’ll all help get you what you need, okay?”

“Thanks, Bart,” I said, jumping up and throwing my paws around him in a very human hug. I jumped down again, bashfully. “Alright,” I said after a moment, “let’s find those elevators.”

“D-do we have to? I’m kind of…” he trailed off, pushing his claws together.

“Scared of enclosed spaces? But you use dig!” I scoffed.

“It’s not that. I can always dig myself out from underground, but human things are tough!”

“Don’t worry, you’re with me. Nobody can keep me trapped if I don’t want to be! And that goes double for my friends.” After scouting out the edges of the store, we spotted some glossy, mirror-doored elevators. “Hup!” I leaped up and hit the ‘call elevator’ button with a paw. A few moments later, a ‘ding!’ heralded the arrival of a car. The doors slid open, and — after some coaxing — Bart and I both entered.

“What do you think? Second floor?”

“Might as well,” Bart answered. “But make it quick!”

“[Hey! Hey you two! That’s for human customers onl-]”

I leaped up and rapid-fire bapped the second floor button with my paw until the door closed on the approaching member of staff. After a few tense seconds, the car accelerated upwards. “I’ll hit three and four, you tell me if anything on this floor looks interesting!” I called, doing as I’d spoken.

The car stopped with a ‘ding!’ and a smooth electronic voice said, “[Second floor, installations and fittings.]”

“Did you get any of that?” I asked, scratching my head. I heard the words, but there was no meaning behind them. I peered out into a world full of set piece kitchens, dining rooms and bedrooms. Idly I noticed that the televisions and gaming systems were all made of plastic and were huge and chunky.

“Nope, should I have?” Bart asked, head tilted.

“But we understand Ed and Becca, and they’re speaking human,” I complained.

“Well yeah, but that’s not Ed or Becca,” Bart waved off, unimpressed. “There’s nothing in that machine to understand.”

“Huh. Well, that floor didn’t look that interesting, did it?”

“Let’s try floor three?”

Ding! “[Third floor, accounts and sales.]”

“Just a cubicle farm,” I sniffed. “This is where all the humans who can’t make it as a Pokémon trainer, and all the Pokémon who can’t make it as a champion, end up.”

“A farm? Do they breed Pokémon here? Or humans?”

“No, only desperation and sadness. Next floor… wait, why’s the car not moving?”

“I don’t know, the fourth floor light keeps going out. Is it broken?”

“No… I think… quick! Out and hide!” I dragged Bart out of the elevator car before the doors closed, and we ran into a broom closet of some sort. I leapt for the door handle and then pushed it almost closed once we were both inside. I heard stomping footsteps coming up the stairwell, and the employee from before burst into the third floor lobby, breathing hard. She’d had to run all the way up the winding stairs, probably chasing the elevator in case we got out lower down.

From our hiding spot, I heard her cursing — relatively good naturedly — before grumbling that we must have gotten out on the earlier floor. She turned and jogged back out into the stairwell after a cursory look around, letting the doors swing closed behind her. In a flash I sped out from the closet and did the first thing I thought of to stop it from shutting us in.

“Ow! Oh Arceus’ teeth! Lugia’s nipples! Bart! Bart! Help meeee!” I wailed. Bart, to his credit, followed as quickly as he could, whereupon he freed my poor, abused tail from the door where I’d jammed it open. In tears, I held back a sob. “D-do y-you th-think it’s b-broken?” I sniffled, whimpering and shuddering every time I tried to ease it straight. Finally, with an almost audible pop it snapped back into position. I stifled a shriek, but slowly the pain dulled to a muted ache.

“Ohhh no, no, I hope n-not… I-I-I mean no! I’m s-sure it’s not, come on, you’re a big, strong eevee, you’ll be alright.”

“I know,” I sniffled, wiping my muzzle with a paw. “I know. I can do this. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Much.” Limping carefully, I nosed my way into the stairwell and glared up the stairs as the sharp pain dulled to an ache. Breathing heavily, but trying to calm myself, I looked over at Bart. “One floor left, you up for it?”

“O-okay, but we really should be getting back down!”

“Relax, I can tell you getting back down will be a lot easier than getting up here was.”

Hopping up the stone-clad steps, with my wincing every time my tail twinged, we emerged into a final balcony type space leading to two doors. One of the two was apparently machinery for the elevators, the other was frosted glass.

“Opens outwards,” I said. “Gonna need your help for this one. Get your claws, okay buddy?”

“Okay?” Bart asked.

“I want you to wedge them in this gap, right? I’m going to leap up and irontail the lock!”

“Oh g-goodness… umm, won’t that break things?”

“Naah,” I said, pointing to where a plastic safety cover was over the latch. “It’ll just set off some alarms at worst, none of which will be blamed on us. I hope. Happens all the time, I bet. Those things are made to be opened.”

“Oh. Umm. Ah, one more question?”

“Yes?” I asked, as I readied myself to leap upwards.

“Do you actually know irontail?”

“Umm… no? That four move thing though, is that… is that a real thing?” I asked, contemplating options. Maybe if I just clawed at the lock? It wasn’t going to be that strong...

“Uh, not really… look, put your claws in here, I can… I can do irontail, and I don’t want to have you hurt yourself by turning your sprained tail into a broken one. The four move thing isn’t really… most of us just practice our best moves,” Bart prattled away good naturedly as he took over, maneuvering my claws and body so they were where he needed me to be, “and when we learn a better one, we just adjust our styles. Trainers don’t really question it, but you never really forget how to do old moves. You just get out of... practice!”

Muscles surging under his armored plating, Bart leaped into the air and spun. His tail slashed into the green plastic safety covering of the door. It shattered instantly and popped off. The latch was triggered. I pulled, and moments later, we were in.

The area before us was much cleaner and brighter, and a lot more open. Instantly, Bart and I ran behind a large potted plant placed next to an odd, much larger machine. Peering around the space, there were multiple odd, large machines, some of them bordering on humongous. All of them with various heavy looking compartments open and exposed, with wiring and circuitry showing, and huge screens with status displays hanging from the ceiling flashing code or other geometric designs, graphs and formulae.

Something was, however, wrong. Obviously the two of us were in here, but usually when there are big, strange machines being taken apart — or put back together — the people doing it aren’t tied up in a corner being menaced by a snarling, slobbering houndoom. It was a good thing there was shouting and threatening going on, or we’d have been in trouble from the get-go.

“[What was that? Bluey, did you see anybody?]” A female figure in a red and black eared hoodie whirled and looked around at the doors we’d so recently snuck in from, but shook her head. “[Don’t get jumpy now Zyrna, you’re so close,]” she muttered to herself.

“No, mistress… but I smell something…” Bluey growled, turning and sniffing at the room.

“[Don’t you take your eyes off those prisoners,]” Zyrna snapped at her Pokémon. “[They should have just left well enough alone and not tried to play the hero, maybe would’ve avoided some of the worst injuries! And you, little miss wannabe scientist, you’re going to give me the password for the plans to this machine, or I’m going to make your life miserable, what’s left of it. Open that door!]”

The scientist — or at least a mousey looking woman in a white lab coat — shrieked, but did as she was told. She opened up a large, smooth-edged glass door in a larger bell-shaped glass compartment in one of the machines. She was then mercilessly thrown in and the door locked behind her.

“[Now, tell me what the password is for these plans, and I’ll be out of your hair. I promise you, all you have to do is tell me what the password is for this encrypted volume,]” The hooded woman waved a data-stick in the air, “[and I promise, you’ll never have to worry about Team Magma getting into your hair ever again.]”

“[J-just… just don’t hurt me!]” the scientist lady said, cowering. “[The p-password is… I can unlock it remotely, j-just l-let me-]”

“[Oh no, tell me. Now.]” Zyrna jammed the door closed, a vicious smirk on her face. “[Or I’ll leave you in there forever!]”

“[Okay! Okay, it’s-]” The lady in the glass bell rattled off a collection of words and numbers, which the Team Magma grunt plugged into a tablet the latter held. As she punched in the last one, the grunt’s eyes lit up in triumph, before a small explosion occurred, causing the grunt to drop the tablet and scream in anger. The data-card with the plans on had been booby-trapped.

“[Oh, that’s it! I really wasn’t going to do anything to you, but now you’ve gone and made me mad. We’ve still got the encrypted data, you know, and we will decrypt it.]”

“[You won’t get away with this! You’ll never get your hands on the plan for this machine, for any of these machines! I’ll tell everyone about you! You and your monster, Bluey!]”

“[Oh no, I assure you, you won’t be telling anyone about me. I watched you enough when I was ‘interning’ here… all I have to do is… yep, put this in, activation code… you really should change these…]”

The woman inside the glass bell-jar device went white. “[Don’t! Please don’t! You can’t! I won’t be able to-]” She hammered her fists on the walls, knuckles bloodied as she tried to force her way out, to no avail.

“Bart,” I hissed, “we have to do something! With us hopefully having set off some of the alarms in this place…" I paused, my stomach sinking through the floor. "Oh, oh no. I bet that Zyrna turned off the alarms!”

“Uh, uh... I bet I can irontail that fire alarm?” Bart whispered back as he looked around in panic, pointing to the little red box on the wall.

“Perfect! I’m going to tackle the houndoom and set some of the prisoners free, and then-”

“You can’t face that houndoom!” Bart almost shrieked.

“I don’t want to,” I hissed back, “I just need to, to stop whatever this is! Now go!”

That’s when several things happened at once. Firstly, Bart sped across the room back towards the doors. Bluey the houndoom noticed this immediately and barrelled across the same room to intercept. I wasn’t having any of that, so I head butted the brute in the gut, sending him flying from the weak but entirely unexpected attack. Putting all my energy into my teeth again, I felt them tingle with a Bite. I lunged then straight after him, juking off to a new direction. Not in the direction of the prisoners — who were already starting to scatter — or for Bluey or his mistress, to both their surprise, but for the nearest open hatch of the large, glass bell machine. Flinging myself up the half-open control panel box, I chomped down on some very expensive looking wiring and pulled just as a great light show was starting inside the glass bell.

My act of selfless, yet absolutely bone-headed, bravery and foolishness ended with three things, two of them expected, and one of them not.

“[What the-]” Zyrna began, turning in slow motion as my jaws fastened around irreplaceable machinery guts.

“[Get me out of here!]” screamed the lab coat lady.

A bright flash filled the glass bell-shaped chamber, hiding her from view. Hundreds of volts went through my teeth, and for a moment I could taste purple, before I was thrown across the room and the lights went out in that section, and for me. There was a loud explosion as the machine that the scientist lady was in failed catastrophically, showering the room with large glass-like shards. Later, everyone involved would be glad that it was not glass, despite appearances. Not that the chunks didn't leave bruises and a few broken bones from the impacts.

“[Bluey! We’re out of here! Kazoo! Get your wings on!]” In one smooth motion, Zyrna recalled Bluey and released a huge, dark, black-blue corviknight. She leaped onto the creature’s back and the pair of them smashed through one of the ubiquitous floor-to-ceiling height windows, soaring off into the distance. All the lights went out on the floor moments later, along with everything else electrical, and then the sprinklers came on, drenching the entire area.

As consciousness returned, I blinked away the triple vision to peer at the glass-like bell chamber. It had shattered, with many of the humans nursing cuts and bruises and broken bones, groaning or outright crying in pain. And in the middle of a pile of ash where the bell had once been, was a small, confused-looking nidoran.

“See,” said Bart, gesturing, as Becca hurled herself through the doors to pick up the sandshrew and hug him like his life depended on it, “humans turn into Pokémon all the mrphlmrphl.”

As Ed swept me up in his arms, I found myself forced to agree. I was glad they'd found us. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't get in trouble again and I had. I felt a little bit guilty, but I'd done good, right? I'd done what he'd have wanted me to do?

He seemed proud of me, and scared for me. That would have to do. I wondered how they'd found us.