Chapter 1

Middle School Blues

Ty always had a problem with new things. He liked the old and familiar. The safe and comforting. New car smell made him gag and new places and situations really got the anxiety revved up. So, on the eve of his first day at his new middle school, you can imagine where his thoughts were: Drowning in worry and trying its darnedest to focus on something, anything, else.

Yet for some reason, he couldn't focus on his grandfather talking to him from the driver's seat.

"Uh, sorry, what?" Ty asked. He turned away from the window to give his grandpa his full attention, who had his own window down, the air blowing his curly gray hair around in all directions. His well-aged hands were in a death grip around the steering wheel. He'd been an amazing driver for as long as Ty knew him, never any issues or accidents, yet his grandpa never once fully relaxed in the car.

He answered without taking his eyes off the road. "I said, you ready for school tomorrow?"

Ah, that's why he chose not to listen.

Ty groaned. "Can we talk about something else?"

"That's what you've said this entire summer, kiddo. Just curious where your head is at." He poked Ty's forehead when he said it.

Ty smiled and swatted his finger away. Just that one gesture made it so much easier to talk. Classic grandpa move, Ty thought.

"My head is firmly above the water," Ty said. "Barely."

"The newness of it all got you scared?" Grandpa asked, cutting right to the heart of things, as usual.

"Very."

"You know not all new things are bad, right? I can think of one really good example. Do you remember how you met Anna?"

"She lives next door, I've always known her." At the mention of his best friend, his heart swelled a little. She was off on a family vacation in Florida, he hadn't seen her in weeks which was not helping the ocean of anxiety.

"You really don't remember? There was a time when you were both little when you first moved into that house. You both would glance at each other from your yards from time to time, but made no approach. Your grandma fixed that." Grandpa's eyes had that far-off look in them as he told the story, something Ty did not particularly like to see while driving.

Ty leaned closer, he really didn't remember the story. "What did she do?"

"Juice boxes."

Ty laughed. "What?"

"She took a container of juice boxes out of the fridge, threw them in your hands, and told you to go share them with the little neighbor girl. You did not take kindly to that idea. You argued that she would think you were weird, that she was too pretty to talk to you, on and on it went until, finally, your grandma had enough. She said, 'You go out there and share these with that girl. You two have been staring at each other for darn near a month now if you don't make a move I'm gonna drag you over there myself.'"

"That sounds like me. And grandma." Ty laughed. "What happened next?"

"You went, of course. You both hit it off instantly and bonded over juice. Drank every single one. And look where we are now, you two are near inseparable." Ty's phone buzzed, twice, the calling card of a text from Anna. "See what I mean?"

Ty grinned and opened the text, it said: TY I JUST HUGGED OSWALD

His phone buzzed again, Anna providing picture proof that she had, indeed, hugged a man in a giant rabbit costume.

"Do you get the moral of the story?" His grandpa asked.

"Yes, always carry juice boxes toward new challenges."

It was his grandpa's turn to laugh. "No, I'm serious, there's a lesson. You gotta face the uncomfortable situations. If you never do something new, why, you can't even imagine what you could be missing out on."

Ty kept staring at the picture of Anna as he listened. He tried to see his life without Anna in it and shuddered.

"I see your point, grandpa."

"Does that mean I helped? Did I throw you a life jacket?"

"Definitely, I'm only slightly drowning now," Ty said, playing along.

"You're gonna have to swim the rest of the way, kiddo. I know you can do it."

Those encouraging words lasted him the whole day and he didn't worry about a thing. That is, until he found himself back in his room, under the covers, staring at the ceiling. Alone at night, good thoughts are a lot harder to hold onto. But that's what best friends were for.

Ty took out his phone and mashed out a text to Anna:

You awake?

Not even five seconds later:

Um, duh. I'm having the time of my flipping life dude

One second later:

Crap, I mean, I'm having a miserable time :'(

Ty: Haha nice try saving it. I am definitely miserable.

Anna: I bet, I really am sorry. I forgot for a sec it was tomorrow. Why haven't you talked about it?

Ty: Didn't wanna bother you.

Anna: You never bother me, dummy.

Ty: Can't believe your parents let you go on that trip and miss the start of school.

Anna: oh man, me either, I'm so lucky

A second later:

Anna: I MEAN

Ty: Haha, you are.

Anna: You never know, it could end up being worse for me missing out on a few days. You'll have it down by then and have so many new friends. I'll be replaced.

Ty: Like that could ever happen. Dummy :p

She could cheer him up so easily. Maybe his grandpa was onto something with the new experiences stuff. If one moment of discomfort led him to Anna... surely a moment packed with other kids could lead to endless possibilities for some magic, right?

That happy thought carried him into sleep, the two buzzes of his phone going unanswered.

#

"TY!" his mother roared from outside the bathroom door, "YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The morning scramble. He forgot what it was like and how stressed out it made him.

"I know! I'm trying!" Or, that was what he tried to say but his words came out a garbled mess as he frantically pulled on clothes while brushing away at his teeth.

"You've got five seconds or so help me, I'll—!"

The door flew open and for a moment his mother saw Ty standing in the doorway, fully clothed, teeth sparkling, and hair slightly frazzled but decent enough to be seen outside the house. And then he dashed around her and down the hall, the words, "Okay, let's go!" trailing behind him.

Ty ripped the door open and started to run outside but his foot hit something and it took everything he had to prevent tripping himself.

"What the?" He looked down to see a box on the ground. A box of juice boxes. Smiling, Ty picked it up, a sticky note on the top.

"Here's your juice boxes. Go face those new challenges!!

---Grandpa"

Was there anything the one-two punch of Anna and grandpa couldn't make a million times more doable?

Juice boxes in tow, Ty beat his mother to the car and snapped his seat belt on as she slammed the front door.

"About time," his sister Lily said from the back seat.

Ty turned to face her with some sort of witty retort, but upon seeing her he realized that saying, "You've got a comb stuck in your hair," would more than suffice.

That one simple sentence brought about several minutes of panic as Lily flipped out and their mother tried to dislodge the comb, cursing the entire time.

The morning scramble.

#

Somehow, they got out of their driveway and to Lily's school before the bell. They weren't so lucky with Ty. He opened the door to the car, and stepped out onto the sidewalk, just as the bell rang.

"Bye honey!" his mother called from the driver's seat as she threw Ty his backpack, lunch, and one of the juice boxes and slammed the car door behind him. As she drove off he heard her saying, "Hurry, hurry, hurry!" He wasn't sure if she was talking to him or herself.

Ty turned his back on his mother speeding off and faced the imposing school building that stood before him. He was entering the seventh grade. His previous years had all taken place in safe and familiar elementary school. The other schools in their area changed to middle school in sixth grade. Which meant all the other kids in his new school had a whole year to get to know each other. The other students from his old school were a small minority, only a speck of familiarity in a whole new ocean.

Ty opened his lunch bag for a second, gave one last long look at the juice box, and dropped it in. Before he closed the bag all the way, his phone buzzed, twice, of course.

Anna: Good luck, Ty!! Wish I was there. I'm already jealous of all the new friends you're going to make! :p

Ty smiled to himself, filled with the same burst of optimism as the night before. Not quite as powerful as before since the new challenge lay right before him, his stomach turned with some anxiety. He fought it down, took a deep breath, and started forward, his new backpack full of new books heavy on his back.

#

Not only was he late, but he was also lost too. He received a slip of paper in the mail telling him what all his classes were and where they were located. It was nice and helpful so, of course, he lost it. He dug around in his backpack for a while, but he couldn't find the stupid thing. He pressed on without it, going by a vague memory of the room number and the teacher's name.

He passed doors and glanced inside the classrooms as he went. Faces stared back at him. He could tell which of them were old or new students by the looks they gave him; some with evil glee at his discomfort, others with a knowing "man-am-I-glad-I'm-not-you" sympathy. He passed five classrooms before he found one that had a number and name that seemed familiar. He opened the door, and every head in the room turned to look his way. He remained rooted to the spot.

"Um." He had plenty of things in mind that he could ask, but that was all he could get his mouth to say. He heard giggling from the back row of desks.

"Oh! Are you Ty?" asked the teacher.

"Yep, that's me."

Next, he apologized for being late, she said it was okay, told him that he could get another list of his classes printed out in the office, and reassured him that it was all right, he would get the hang of things soon enough. She was nice, so, he believed her. He took his seat feeling more confident about the day. As soon as that lovely bit of optimism bubbled to the surface, the air went out of it once he sat down, deflating a whoopee cushion he hadn't seen.

The room burst into laughter and Ty buried his face into a book.

#

Midway through the day and any ounce of optimism he held onto disappeared. The day had been a constant, steady level of terrible that wasn’t quite so awful that he felt he’d be forced to give up. It supplied a small amount of hope, enough that he was fooled into thinking that if he could keep at it and stay positive, things would get better. It never really did though, forcing him to relearn this fact, again and again, an endless cycle of hope and cruel reality.

Even with the new schedule, he printed off in the office, he was late to every class. He roamed the halls, lost and confused. Once in the next classroom, some new embarrassment or harassment awaited. In one, a kid stuck his foot out and sent him sprawling onto the floor. In another, the teacher was a demon who was not understanding about a new student getting lost and gave the whole class homework...on the first day of school. The kids in that class hated him instantly and he doubted they would forget about it anytime soon.

And still, he had the delusion that it would get better.

One good thing he learned was that time passed quickly when you were overwhelmed, bewildered, and terrified. Before he knew it, it was lunchtime and he found the cafeteria in record time—helped in large part by both the smell of food and the crowd of kids that trampled toward it. The same crowd pushed him along through the double doors and into the chaos of the cafeteria.

Most of the movies he watched dealt with high school, but just from one casual glance at the cafeteria tables, Ty could tell that the clicks of middle school followed the same cliches. The jocks, popular kids, band geeks, regular geeks, and a whole list of different types of geeks, really, all made their appearance. Ty passed each table, looking for somewhere to sit. Most glared at him or gave him some passive-aggressive look that made him not feel welcome. So, running out of options, he settled with the table tucked away in a corner. The occupants looked dark and moody, on the edge of either having a nice long group cry or killing everyone who happened to be around them. To be honest, Ty felt on the verge of one or the other too so he almost belonged.

The occupants didn't seem to care one way or the other, they barely noticed him. That suited Ty just fine. He opened up his bagged lunch. Two slices of pizza from the night before, a bag of chips, and, yes, the juice box. Seeing it again lifted his spirits, but just the tiniest of bits that time. The day took too much out of him. He bit into the pizza and then took his phone out of his pocket, typing out a message to Anna:

Ty: Made it to lunch. I want to go home.

Anna's reply came in with her signature speed:

Anna: Oh no :( I'm so sorry, Ty. How are things going on the friends front?

Ty aimed his phone at the kids at his table, as causally and unassuming as he could manage. He snapped a picture and sent it to her.

Anna: Hahaha, how in the world did you end up at that table? I hope you painted your nails black at least.

Ty sent a pic of his unpainted nails.

Anna: You imposter.

Ty: Hey, I'm just sitting here. Haven't said anything. They haven't either so I guess they don't mind.

Anna: Ty, you should try and make friends.

Ty sighed and looked up from his phone. What did goths like? He considered that question for a moment, finally settling on a single topic, his only hope.

"So do you guys still like Tim Burton?" he asked.

They just stared at him like he was stupid.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, he has kind of gone downhill to me..." The longer the sentence went on the more it became mumbling. They turned away from him before the last of it trickled out.

Well, he tried. He went back to his phone and started to tell Anna about his shameful attempt at conversation. But a message from the intercom cut through the cafeteria, a bored-sounding lady calling his name over it, asking him to come to the office. His mother was waiting for him.

Bewildered, Ty put his lunch away. What in the world could she want? Did he forget something? Maybe she came to bring him his lost class list. Kind of late for that... but, hey, whatever, it gave him something to do beyond getting his butt kicked by the school day. If he was really lucky maybe he would get to go home early.

He waved to his tablemates and worked his way out of the cafeteria, as soon as he made it out he brought his phone up.

Ty: My mom is here! I have no idea why, but hopefully, I get to go home! I'll let you know what's up.

He didn't wait for an answer and pocketed the phone as he made his way to the office. Surprising himself, he knew where to go. He saw his mom standing outside the door, he smiled at her, and when she caught sight of him her blank face cracked and tears came spilling out.

"Mom," Ty rushed the rest of the way to her. "Mom, what's wrong?"

She couldn't tell him then. She couldn't tell him on the walk through the school. She couldn't in the car. Every time she opened her mouth to try she just cried harder.

Ty prepared himself for the worst. Even though, at that moment, he couldn't even fathom what that entailed.