《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 26: Their Heart is in the Right Place
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"Oh, I don't know, I think you look much better like this."
The ball of grey fur that was Og'drimun looked down at his pudgy, soft body. Then he looked up at Narissa with an incredulous look on his face. "You're crazy! My muscles, my blemish free skin. All gone. I look like some kind of rat now."
"A chatty rat it sounds like," nodded Sentenza as he slowly stood up. "That's good, because that's just what we need."
The small monster looked Sentenza up and down, then scowled. "No wonder I'm in such a weak body if you're the one who pulled me through. You don't have an ounce of magical talent in you, do you?"
Sentenza tipped his hat and nodded. "Well, I'll be. It seems you've seen right through me. Nope, can't do a thing with any sort of magic. Not for a lack of trying mind you, though it is a new...hobby...of sorts."
Og'drimun scoffed. "I wouldn't bother if I was you. You could train under the greatest master for years, and barely be able to cast a chant strong enough to create a spark."
Sentenza smirked as he turned towards Narissa. "Quite a mouth on this one. The perfect pair for you I can see."
"Hah hah," she said dryly. "Now get on with it so we can move ahead."
"Right," nodded Sentenza as he put a new cigarillo in his mouth. "Do you want to ask, or shall I have the pleasure?"
"Uh..." murmured Og'drimun as he glanced from Sentenza to Narissa and back again.
"You'd probably just threaten to blow his head off," she sighed. "Just hand him to me, and I'll make the brat spill his guts."
"Okay, I wasn't sure, but now I know I don't like how this all sounds." gulped Og'drimun as he tried to escape Sentenza's grasp. Sadly for him, his stubby arms and legs were too weak to do much. "I've got a great idea, why don't I head back, and send over something nice in my place. Maybe a small fruit basket?"
"By the council of white, in accordance with the order of..."
Bang!
In one smooth motion, Sentenza had drawn and fired his pistol. Narissa had frozen in place as the bullet sailed inches by her face.
"What is wrong with you!" she shouted as a bead of sweat dropped down her forehead.
Sentenza shook his head. "Can't have you casting all kinds of spells like that."
"Why is that? You think I'll cast something on you or..." Narissa stopped speaking and pouted as she saw Sentenza nod his head.
"I know enough not to trust you casting anything."
'Well then how am I supposed to bind the fiend until we get what we need? If he runs away, I don't want to have to chase him up those stairs." She looked down at her torn dress and the red marks all over her skin. "I'm surprised I'm still able to stand after the terrible day I've had. I don't plan to let that twerp make it any worse."
"What? I would never." lied Og'drimun.
"Liar," she sneered. "I still haven't forgotten what you did when I let you into the castle."
"That was an innocent mistake," Og'drimun remarked. "How was I supposed to know that wasn't what those girls were there for?"
"They were the castle's servants!"
"Exactly, and I was practically starving because you hardly ever fed me."
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Narissa groaned. "You're just a glutton, and in any case, as he doesn't trust my magic, I don't trust you running free."
"I could break his legs," offered Sentenza much to Og'drimun's horror.
"No," dismissed Narissa as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "He'll just use magic to float."
"You know," offered Og'drimun. "I think I'm warming up to whatever this questioning thing is. I'll just sit here all nice, and you two can ask away. You don't have to hurt poor little old me. I'll happily tell you whatever you want to know."
Sentenza slid his pistol back into its holster and pulled out a match. He struck it on the side of the firepit and lit the cigarillo in his mouth. He took in a deep drag, and as he let out the smoke he commanded, "Tell us about the living smile shrouded in black."
Og'drimun's eyes grew wide. "Um, well you see. About that."
Sentenza shook his head. "See, I told you he'd be..."
Sentenza grew silent as Og'drimun bit down on his hand. He didn't flinch, didn't shake, didn't move except to turn his face away from Narissa and look down at the small ball of fuzz.
Seeing his lack of a response, Og'drimun gingerly withdrew his teeth and smiled weakly at Sentenza. "You know, that usually works."
Sentenza sighed as he casually pulled out his pistol.
"Come on, we can get him to talk. You don't need to push things that far!" Narissa bemoaned.
"I figure that since our whole group is here now, I should stop playing around," Sentenza explained as he pointed the gun from Og'drimun's head down to his belly. As the gun moved down, Narissa started to sweat more and more, finally struggling to gulp as the barrel rested near her ally's round stomach.
"Hey, there's no need for that," gulped Og'drimun. "I know when I'm beat, just..."
"We all know what'll happen if I shoot you right here. Two birds with one bullet."
"What are you talking about?" Narissa asked after she took in two slow breaths to regain her composure. "Just let him explain. There's no need to threaten him so soon."
"Yeah, I was just messing around, honest," Og'drimun lied.
Sentenza nodded slowly while he kept the small creature in his grasp, with his gun aimed right at him. "Strong magic, right? Makes it so you can't talk about certain things. Like how a girl and a demon are linked, what sort of...exchange...had to take place. Hush hush, but no heartbeat is a dead giveaway." He hefted the small fuzzball up and down. "Seems I finally found where that thing ran off to."
Narissa scowled. "Well, aren't you clever. Doesn't change anything, you already blackmailed me into working with you."
"Figured I'd make it clear what you two have to lose if this little guy doesn't play along." Sentenza added as casually as if he was talking about an interesting rock that he had seen the other day.
"I think," said Og'drimun, "that I'm missing something here. Isn't pointing a gun at me already a threat?"
"Those witches sent this guy to finish you off?" Sentenza smirked. "No wonder you took them all out so easily."
"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a fearsome and powerful warrior!" protested Og'drimun.
Sentenza prodded his belly with his pistol and nodded. "But you aren't too bright, are you? Too blinded by power to see the trap folding in around you until it's too late."
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Narissa's face looked conflicted. She was almost laughing but seemed quite upset at how close to Og'drimun Sentenza's gun was. "Look, just explain the warning you were going to give me before our connection was severed the other day! All this stress isn't good for my skin."
"It's complicated," Og'drimun gulped. "It's not the kind of thing I can just outright share with anyone."
Sentenza shrugged. "It doesn't make a big difference to me either way. I was making progress on my own. Sure, it'll be slower, but I know I can trust myself at least." He paused to blow a small puff of smoke out. "What I mean is I can shoot you right now and be done with it. You can either help me, or you're in my way."
"Come on Og'drimun!" she groaned. "You were going to tell me, just tell him too, or even forget him, and just tell me!"
Sentenza eyed her with his one good eye at that comment but didn't do anything more.
"I...sure, if he leaves!" agreed Og'drimun hastily.
"I've got to at least be here to hear it," sighed Sentenza.
"I could whisper really loud and pretend you can't hear me?" suggested Og'drimun.
"Except I'd have to let you go to leave." Sentenza added.
"Well, I could cast a spell and..."
"No spells," snapped Sentenza.
"Maybe I could..."
"What if..."
Finally, Sentenza shook his head. "Well, this is getting nowhere." he pulled back the hammer on his pistol with a loud click. "Sorry about this Narissa. Just bad luck really."
"Wait!" shouted Narissa as her eyes darted around, as if she would find the perfect answer in the room. "We could...could...could bind him to you as well!"
Sentenza raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"What?" echoed Og'drimun.
"Yes, that's got to be it!" she said in an almost hysterical frenzy. "It's perfect. If he's bound to you as well, we'd all be linked in a way, so you could trust us more, and he could tell you anything he could tell me."
"I don't plan on paying him by giving up my heart you know," sighed Sentenza, although he did have his gun pointed away from Og'drimun, and didn't seem overly anxious to move it back.
"Well, that does make things difficult." sighed Narissa. But as his gun hand started to twitch her eyes grew wide. "Aha! I know. An exchange of lives for bonds!"
"That's ancient stuff," groaned Og'drimun. "It is not so easily forced."
Sentenza nodded. "So, you'd have this guy work for me, in exchange for both of your lives?"
"It'd work," Narissa assured him. "It is bending a few things, but it can definitely weigh the scales properly. It'd just mean you could never take our lives, nor us yours."
"Almost sounds like you're getting the better deal out of this," mused Sentenza.
"I don't really see a much better way," sighed Narissa as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Besides, you're grabbing a powerful ally without actually giving up anything of yours. That seems much more weighted towards you."
Sentenza scrunched his face up. "You've really got me by the balls here. With my knowledge of magic being so lacking. You could probably say whatever you wanted. But," Narissa's face looked hopeful as he continued. "I'll trust your word on this. We enter into this together, your lives in exchange for working for me. You'll still get what you wanted, and I'll get what I want."
"But it's not...I can't just." complained Og'drimun.
Sentenza glowered down at him as he pressed his gun against Og'drimun's cheek.
"What I meant to say was, of course. I'll get right on that!"
"What fresh madness is this?"
"Yeah, I'm with Trizel here." sighed Ted as he shook his head. "You want to jump over the edge because you think we're in a prison? It'd be like being imprisoned in a submarine and just walking out of it because the people who put you there wouldn't expect that. If it even is true, that's just crazy."
"I saw it." explained Sid as he let the wax on the edge of the rope cool.
"Oh, are you going to explain something you saw to us now?" scoffed Trizel.
Sid slowly stood up and looked Trizel directly in his eyes. "There is a real threat to us here. Not just our visitor who demands offerings from us. There is someone, or something underneath this place. There is some kind of structure underneath this landmass. While I was teetering over the abyss, I caught a glimpse of it. Sadly, I was not allowed to stay there and observe it for longer."
"Ppppfffffttttt," Bakade scoffed as she continued to braid her rope.
"You were over the edge?" asked Ted in disbelief. "When?"
"After I was attacked." explained Sid.
"Do you plan on explaining that part to us at long last?" Trizel asked impatiantly.
"No."
WHAM!
Trizel leaped forward and in a flash, had punched Sid right in the chest, which sent him flying back into a table no one had used.
"Whoa! That seems a bit much, why don't we just..." Ted stepped forward to try and reason with him, but Trizel punched Ted in the gut, and knocked the wind out of him. Ted collapsed onto the ground as he coughed and sputtered while his body tried to regain its composure.
That's pretty cold bro. Remarked Death.
Trizel had a huge smile on his face as he slowly let out a breath of air. "Get up." he turned to look from Ted and then to Sid. "Both of you. It's time we sorted through all of this like men."
"I think I missed that class in school," wheezed Ted.
"Yes, and I am a synthetic intelligence. Ascribing your societal pressures for a specific gender onto me is hardly constructive." Sid seemed to be doing much better than Ted and appeared more surprised at the development than injured in any way. Aside from all the red marks from his earlier fight, of course.
Trizel grabbed Ted's shirt, and yanked him onto his feet, before shoving him towards Sid. "I got a surprise hit on both of you. It is only fair that you return the favor before we really start."
"I don't want to punch you Trizel," Ted wheezed as he still held his stomach.
"Neither do I." agreed Sid. "This entire exchange seems exceptionally foolish."
"If you do not wish to defend yourselves, I will respect that," explained Trizel as he cracked his neck from one side to the other. "But this is happening. We have strong disagreements, and this needs to happen. It will be better for you if you fight back. But be warned, even if you refuse to strike me, I will not hold back."
Sid looked over at Ted. "Why is he being so unreasonable?"
A wave of fear washed over Ted. He hated confrontation, and Trizel was forcing this on him. He wasn't going to allow any compromise, or conversation. All he would listen to was physical force. He started to shake a little. It was terrifying, and the punch earlier hurt so much. He wanted to do anything but this. To run, to hide, to cower. But he couldn't. He tried staying on the ground, but Trizel forced him up. His knees started to shake as he stared at the giant. There was no way he could win, even if he knew how to fight.
"Stay here Ted," Sid declared as he stepped in front. "I do not know what has happened to Trizel, but it is clear he will not let us go unscathed." he paused a second before he added, "I will hold him off. Run while I engage him."
Ted opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. Even as Sid lunged forward and punched Trizel's cheek with his skeletal hand, he could say and do nothing. He just stood there paralyzed. The world seemed to grow fuzzy as he could hear Trizel laugh and Sid calling out for him to run. He stood there frozen as it turned into a sort of dance. With Sid anticipating Trizel's every move, but the giant was so fast it hardly made a difference. Even knowing what he would throw, Sid was immediately pushed onto the defensive, just barely being able to avoid each blow as they came.
Ted's hand tightened around the cloth of his shirt as he grit his teeth. Why did he always panic so much when these things happened? Why could he never act when he needed to?
Death and Bakade seemed content to watch the spectacle from the same booth as the AI dodged each of the giant's blows without having any time to strike back. Then, Nugget walked out of the kitchen. She eyed the two fighters first, then the two skeletal spectators before her eyes finally landed on Ted. She walked over to him and nudged his leg.
Ted nearly jumped as he looked down at the chicken. He put a hand on his heart as it raced in his chest. She stared up into his eyes and slowly nodded. When she turned away to look back at the fight, Ted did too. Sid was expressionless as usual, but there was an almost euphoric look on Trizel's face. He felt Nugget nudge his leg again. This time when he looked down, she pawed her foot on the ground and bobbed her head towards the fight before looking back up at him again.
"Bawk."
Ted didn't know when, or how, but he was now running right towards the fight. With tears in his eyes, he let out a high-pitched yell as he charged Trizel. The giant turned to him with a smile, which allowed Sid to land an uppercut right under his ribs. As the wind was knocked out of him Ted reached his arm back behind himself and sent out a punch of his own. As it approached, Trizel grinned gleefully.
"Now it is a fight," Trizel managed to eke out breathlessly.
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