《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 15: Wet and Wild Target Practice

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"It's just not respectful."

"Does the intent not matter in these things?"

"Of course not! You do something like that, you've got to know."

"It could be a difference of culture?"

"Much as I hate to admit it, Sentenza is right." Narissa sighed. "Going that far you really have to know, at least somewhat, how bad it is."

"I still say that it could simply be a misunderstanding. It is not outright malicious."

"Malicious no, but let's say you're right," explained Sentenza. "At best they're completely disregarding that person. Like not thinking of them before acting so brashly."

Narissa narrowed her eyes at Sid. "Sid, did you..."

The door to The Oasis was thrown open as Ted and Trizel blew in completely soaked. It looked like they had both been dunked into the ocean and swirled around. It completely killed the conversation the three were having as Trizel spat out a small stream of water from his mouth.

"You're soaked!" Declared Narissa as she put her hand over her chest as if this was the most outrageous thing she had ever seen.

"Really? I couldn't tell." replied Trizel.

"What happened?" queried Sid.

"During our walk it started raining." sighed Ted as he tried to shake off some of the water clinging to him.

"Well, you two better hurry and get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death," groaned Sentenza as he stood up from his chair. "I'm guessing it's raining everywhere out there?"

"Seems like it." nodded Trizel before he shook himself off like a dog, throwing water around everywhere.

"Maybe the forest is fine because it's so thick, but we didn't check." Ted said before pushing his wet hair out of his face and straight back. "We just came straight here."

"It is quite illogical." pondered Sid aloud. "There are no major bodies of water here, and though the storms seem unnatural, such severe rain is even more out of place."

Sentenza lit a fresh cigarillo and slowly nodded. "Alright. I'll go see if I can find anything. Maybe some water monster has shown up and brought this rain with them."

Narissa sighed as she looked him up and down. "What, do you think that coat of yours will actually help with the rain?"

Sentenza smirked. "Nah, my slicker is out in my wagon with my rifle. Should do the job a little better than this."

"Do you need any help?" asked Sid.

Sentenza paused and scratched his neck. "Hmm. Nah, not from this lot." he glanced from Narissa to Sid. "I may go find Bakade for some tracking help, but even without her, I'll be fine. I've worked through plenty of storms before after all."

As Trizel and Ted started to head for the stairs, Sentenza strolled out towards the front door. It seemed an entire storm had appeared, not just rain. At least it looked that way to him as the rain was whipping sideways and making its way past the door instead of pouring straight down. He tilted his hat down and strolled right out the door.

Narissa smiled mischievously and leaned towards Sid. "You seemed awfully curious earlier. Now, why exactly was that?"

Sid's eyes dashed around. "No reason of course. I just enjoy gathering information on different subjects. They do not have to pertain to myself, or things I may have done."

"Oh darling, you really must learn to work on your poker face," she purred.

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Sentenza slammed the door shut after him as he pulled his leather jacket closed with his hand. His wagon wasn't far, but the rain was coming down hard. On the short dash over his jacket had been completely drenched. He let out an annoyed groan as he made sure the water hadn't gotten through any of the wagon's covering. It seemed fine, and luckily enough he had pulled the covers down over both sides after Sid and Trizel surprised him as he was digging through it the other day. He shook off his hat over some blankets and threw his jacket down onto them as well.

After a little searching, he found his black rain jacket or "slicker" rolled up. With a short snap of his wrists it unrolled, and he slid it on. As he buttoned it up, he glanced around for his rifle. He found it lying under some boxes of ammo. He grabbed it and stuffed a handful of ammo into his pocket. He checked to make sure his hat was covering his face properly. As he held his rifle by the barrel in one hand, he hopped out of the wagon and headed out.

This may well have been the worst storm Sentenza had ever been in. It was practically hammering on his skin through his jacket. But, with one hand on his rifle, and the other holding his hat on his head, he managed. There were some marks on the gravel heading out into the sea of waist high bushes. With a sigh he crouched down and pushed his way into the shrubbery. It was lucky they were tall enough that ducking down he could easily keep from being seen. Although that was also unlucky as it would be just as easy for anyone else to hide out there.

It wasn't long before he found a trail. Bent branches, mostly washed away footprints, and other small indications of foot traffic.

After a few minutes, the trail led out of the sea of bushes. Sentenza got his rifle ready in his hands and slowly pushed the bushes to the side with the barrel. He saw a short figure through the rain. They seemed to be hunched over away from him. He carefully trained the gun at the center of mass, but then lowered it as he stood up and let out a sigh.

"Almost shot you, you know."

The figure lifted up their slouching head, and as the antlers came into view, it was clear that the figure was Bakade. She looked back at Sentenza with flickering flames in her eyes, as if the rain was nearly enough to put them out.

Sentenza walked closer, and then froze in place as he saw she was sitting on the edge of the rock they were on. With a straight shot down to the glowing purple orb. The wind had died down, and he let out a long whistle as he sat down next to her in the rain. "Now that right there is quite the fall."

Bakade turned her head back to look down at the orb as she slowly nodded.

"What, not very talkative today?"

She shrugged.

Sentenza scratched his neck as he grumbled incoherently. "Thought we talked about you being out alone," he finally managed to say.

Bakade stared down at the pulsating orb before finally saying, "Iiii knnnnooowwww..." Her voice was like much quieter than normal, like a barely audible whisper in the woods that somehow always sounds like it's coming from right behind you.

Sentenza grumbled more. Finally, he stood up. "Come on. I got something I want to show you."

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When Bakade didn't move right away, Sentenza scratched his neck until he finally put his hand on her shoulder. "Lots of people have terrible parents. Don't have to let them keep running your life once their gone kid. Now come on, I could use some help figuring out what's causing all this rain. Plus, there really is something I think I should show you."

Her movements were slow and stiff, but she got up and turned to follow Sentenza. He scrunched up his face as she moved around and finally let out a sigh as he shook his head.

"Alright, the mystery will have to wait. Come on, we need to head into the woods."

"Catch."

Ted was right. The rain had trouble getting through the upper canopy of the pine forest. Only a drop here or there would fall. Which made things easier for Sentenza as he brought Bakade to a seemingly random place, then threw his rifle towards her.

She was surprised and fumbled as the hunk of metal danced around her hand before falling to the ground. Sentenza shook his head as he went, "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You have to be careful with that thing. It's a dangerous weapon after all. Here, let me show you."

Like the skilled killer he was, Sentenza quickly got to work. Seamlessly firing twelve rounds from the rifle with the spent shells flying up after each lever pull. After he finished, he turned to look at Bakade.

"You see," he said as he tilted the gun sideways and pulled a bullet out of his pocket. "The lever pushes the spent casing out and pulls a fresh bullet in from down here." He pushed the bullet into the side slot. "This one can hold twelve shots."

He held the gun out towards her, and she eventually accepted it. "Here, take these too." he pulled out a handful of bullets from his pocket and held his closed fist towards her. She seemed a little confused, but eventually held out an open hand as her other one held the rifle. He dropped exactly eleven bullets into her hand.

"Now go ahead and load those in, then I'll walk you through the next steps." he said as he tried to light the cigarillo in his mouth.

With her long claws, it was a difficult task to load the bullets, and she constantly seemed to fumble them. Dropping some and scrambling to pick them up. While she messed with them, Sentenza kept lighting new matches to try and get his cigarillo going. It seems it was too wet though, and after his fifth failed match he sighed and gave up. Not long after, Bakade had managed to load all of the bullets.

"Alright. Let's go over some basics then. Number one, guns kill. Never point that thing anywhere you aren't willing to fire it. You point it at a man, you darn well better be ready to end his life. This isn't some stage show. You don't shoot to disarm or point a gun to intimidate someone. Next, keep your fingers away from the trigger until you're ready to fire it. Finally, make sure you know what you're firing at, and what's behind it. If you're shooting at a goody two shoes, and your favorite prostitute is in the window behind him, well if you shoot him, there's a chance you'll take her out too. Don't just focus on exactly what you're looking at and be aware of your surroundings."

"Wwwhhhhhyyy aaarrrree yyyyyoooouuuuu tteeeeelllllliiiiinnnggg mmmmeeee ttthhhiiiisssss?"

"Not too bright, are you?'

Bakade looked embarrassed as she tightened her grip on the gun.

Sentenza rolled his eyes. "Come on now, kneel down. There you go." As she knelt down, he helped move the rifle in her hands until it was resting near her shoulder in the right position. "Alright, now you aim first, then fire. See your target, then shoot it." He pointed down the way the barrel was aimed at an amorphously shaped hunk of wood someone had carved. "You see that squirrel? Aim at it. Good, just like that. Now, focus on your breathing. Breath in, and out. In, and out. Now, put your finger on the trigger. In and out. Now, after you breath out, when your lungs are mostly empty, squeeze the trigger. In, and out. Now."

BANG!

A chunk of the tree next to the 'squirrel' was missing, but it seemed fine. Bakade seemed disappointed, but Sentenza nodded approvingly. "That was pretty good. Now you saw which way the bullet pulled. Try adjusting for that and fire again."

BANG!

The poorly carved squirrel exploded into splinters. Bakade looked excitedly towards Sentenza with her skeletal mouth agape. He nodded approvingly at her again. "You're a pretty quick learner. Now, I've hidden twenty of those guys around here. I want you to find them and shoot them all just like that. Call out when you need ammo and I'll toss you some."

After half an hour of loud firing, using up nearly every bullet Sentenza brought with him, and a few awkward mishaps, Bakade managed to take out all of the vague interpretations of squirrels. As Bakade finished, she let out a low sigh that sounded like the wind groaning through the trees.

"Not bad kid. Not bad. Though you need some more work." Sentenza tilted back his hat and then scratched his chin as he seemed to be thinking about something. "It's a pretty dangerous place, the world. Guess that means if you're feeling like heading out to sit on the edge there, I might as well take you out for some more shooting practice, huh?"

Bakade slowly set the gun down, and then walked up to Sentenza and gave him a big hug.

"Whoa now!" he groaned as she lightly squeezed him. "I'm not really the guy for this kind of stuff kid!"

She didn't listen, and instead lifted him off the ground and rocked back and forth slightly as she continued to hug him. "Thhhhaaaannnkk yyyyoooouuuu."

As she finally let him down, Sentenza tried to straighten up his outfit as he grumbled incoherently. "Yeah yeah. Don't mention it. Time's something I have plenty of now it seems."

She held out the rifle towards Sentenza, and he nodded as he took it back. "Good idea. Don't want someone like Trizel startling you, and getting his head blown off." He held it at his side as he started to walk out of the dark forest. "Now that your aim is sorted a bit, let's see if you can help me track anyone that might be causing all this rain to..."

Trizel jumped out with a loud roar. He was wearing what was essentially a toga made from sheets with a pseudo hooded cape made from a comforter. He had a wild look in his eyes and his arms were spread wide as if he was ready to grab ahold of something. When he saw that it was Sentenza and Bakade he shrunk down and stepped closer to them.

"Ah geez Trizel!" yelled Sentenza as he gripped his heart with one hand and lowered his other from his holstered gun and towards the rifle he had dropped. "You're liable to get shot jumping out at me like that."

"Where is the enemy?" whispered Trizel as his eyes darted around. "I did not want to give away my position by bringing a lantern, but I cannot see a blasted thing in this forest."

"Enemy? Did you find out who was causing the rain? Where is he?" asked Sentenza as he quickly loaded a couple bullets into his lever action rifle.

"How should I know?" scoffed Trizel. "You're the one who has been chasing after him with your magic wands."

Sentenza rolled his eyes, but before he could correct the giant man Bakade said, "Gggguuuuunnnsssss. Thhhhheeeeeyyyy'rree gggguuuuuunnnnssss."

"Yes, what she said. But we aren't chasing after anyone out here."

"But we heard it back at The Oasis. All the explosions your wa...guns make."

Then it hit Sentenza. "Ah," he said. "That was just some target practice. We weren't trying to hit anything."

"Eeeeexcccceeepptt Ssssqquuuiiiirrreelllsss."

"Right, except the squirrels."

"I...what?"

Sentenza and Bakade laughed. Then he tried to explain what they had been up to, and how no one had anything to worry about.

"If these bullets must be put inside your...gun...then should you not be saving them? Surely they will run out if you cannot make more." Trizel brought up.

Sentenza shrugged as he lied, "Don't worry about it Trizel. I have a lot of these things, and with our whole trying not to kill people that show up, I don't think I'll be hurting for more any time soon."

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