I am not ready. I am so not ready. Five months and change and I still can barely bring myself to focus my mind on anything in the swamp that isn’t the muddy horror I’ve failed to rid myself of to this day. It feels awful. Like dirt between teeth, like the smell of dead leaves, like a muted struggle, screaming…

What use is training? What use is anything? Why am I doing this, why am I even trying when I know that the moment I step out there, murderers and monsters are going to conspire to make my life as short and miserable as possible?

Oh of course, I can run a lot further now. Not in the swamp though.

Oh sure, I can hold a shield now. Not much use against a thousand tendrils though.

Oh yeah, I have friends, but-

“…Rye? Miss Rye?”

Huh, what, who? Oh. Harris. Right. Standing in front of Harris’ emporium of wondrous… stuff. Doing… things. Avice is with me, too. That’s good. Very good. I was here for… a thingy. More stuff. More… I need to be prepared. Right. Preparation.

“Uh. One sword please.” I said as if I was at some fair stall asking for a candied apple.

I immediately felt like an idiot, because of course I needed a sword, and of course I knew how inaccurate ‘one sword’ was. There were about eleven sword types I could count off the top of my head. Arming sword, broadsword, greatsword, curved sword (also known as Sha-shik, courtesy of Krah), executioner sword, rapier, epee, falchion, messer.

Ok, not exactly eleven. But close. Still, Harris the ever-reliable merchant simply smiled and ignored my lack of precision.

“Certainly.” He said. “I’ve got a few swords left for ya’. Arming swords, broadswords, greatswords, curved–“

“Short.” I blurted out. “A shortsword. If you have one.”

Avice turned towards me as I looked at her for confidence. I wasn’t normally this distracted and awkward. I’d like to say that I was good with people.

Avice didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. She had her mask, and with a certain stillness it made her look almost predatory. I didn’t know where I got that impression from. Her mask had the makings of a neatly bearded, thinking man, a scholar or a priest perhaps. Maybe a king or a god. But when she looked at Harris, the vulnerable, crippled man rummaging through his pile of riches, I got the distinct idea that she was about to pounce.

She did no such thing of course, and Harris returned momentarily with an assortment of three different shortswords. They were all rather pretty, though my current standard to work off of was a wooden club with studs nailed into it.

“How much for this one?” Avice asked and picked up one of the swords. Without even asking if that was ok.

Slightly rude.

“Oh, that’s a good one. Comes from a blind-soldier or something. Out in Regent’s Rest. Great for stabbing, good quality steel. As for the price? Ten bright for ya’.”

He smiled, as calm as the ocean. The copper necklace he wore only further incensed my outrage.

“Ten bright? I don’t even have that much!”

“Oh, ya’ can pay together of course. Though you’ll both have to pay a tad extra.”

“Because of the soul tax?”

“Yep.”

“…which you never bothered to tell me about, as an honest merchant.”

“Ya’ were the one who refused to pay with ya’ soul.”

I grumbled and started going through my worldly possessions. We had divvied up most of the mundane loot from the expedition afterwards and I had of course gotten my own share of things. I put down one necklace of glass marbles I still had from before. Then three wax candles. About three-dozen coins of various size and make. Mostly copper and iron, with one or two silver mixed in between.

Harris didn’t seem all too convinced. His eyebrows were way up there, as if they alone were saying ‘is this all’? Probably waiting for me to bust out the really valuable stuff.

Well, hold your grugs because stuff’s about to get good.

Finally, I put down two yellow gemstones the size of my thumbnail. They were smooth and glowed like thick egg yolk in the sun. I was sure they would catch his eyes.

“Jaspers.” Avice said as she pointed at them. She knew her shiny rocks.

Harris didn’t even take them in his hands before giving his verdict. “Not exactly a fair trade, is it?”

“They’re gemstones. They have to be worth a lot.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Look, miss Rye, miss Avice. Most of this is utterly useless to me. The coins? Who needs coins these days? You can sucker in some other gullible fool with them, but not me. Candles? Please, candles are all around. The jewelry is interesting, but as I said, with this amount ya’ can barely equal a fifth of the worth of even the least of these here swords.”

That was ridiculous. But I was afraid that something like this was going to happen. I put down the dagger I had gotten before. The steel one. That got him a bit more interested.

“And this? How much is this worth to you?” I asked.

“Hmm. May I?” I nodded and he picked it up, turning it here and there. “Good steel. Mostly without blemish. Pointy. Sharp even. I wager this is worth around three bright to me.”

“And to others?” Avice pointedly asked.

His smile turned into a smirk. “If you find someone who has no weapon at all, I’d be willing to say you’d get a better deal. But with me, that is as much as you get.”

Avice audibly tsk’ed. “Your wares are poor, pillow merchant. This one has a loose hilt. The next one is unbalanced. The last one has a considerable nick at the blade. And you wish to tell me that these are worth more bright light than I myself even have?”

He shrugged. “I accept dim light at a ratio of three to one bright. I can go down to nine and a half bright, I can give ya’ that much.”

“These swords all require sharpening as well. Do you understand what I am getting at?”

His smile remained neutral, but Avice kept on hammering him relentlessly. “It means I have to use one of these.”

She put down one of the inscribed sharpening-stones. Harris frowned for the first time so far. “I wasn’t aware ya’ wanted the sword for yerself.”

“And I was not aware that it mattered. As a merchant.” Her faceless gaze was piercing. “Seven bright.”

“Nine.”

“Seven. And one sharpening stone.”

“I will not go any lower, miss. If you wish to further insult me, you may take your business elsewhere. See if anyone wishes to part with their only weapons. See if they desire your copper and glass more than I.”

If stares could kill, I’d have witnessed two murders today.

“Avice, you don’t have to do th–“

“Rye. Please. Let me handle this.” She said and turned back to the insulted merchant.

“Seven bright. Five dim. A sharpening stone. Two balls of wyckwax.” She said.

That made him think for quite a long time.

“I-I could take something else. Something cheaper. My dagger’s fine. Or that shortbow back there. Do you sell arrows as well?” I asked.

He didn’t answer, but I saw a few in the back as well. Eventually, he grumbled and began rummaging around in the back for something else. He returned shortly with a rather ancient looking thing. A quite badly rusted shortsword. No engraving on the hilt, pommel or the handguard. Just plain steel, red splotches growing on it like moss.

“This.” He said. “Is what I can sell for those looking for a bargain.”

Avice looked about ready to be outraged. “N-no, Avice, please. This for the dagger and the jewels?”

He scoffed. “It may be rusted on the surface, but this ancient steel is worth its mighty heft. It includes a sheath. Seven bright for this. With your offer, that makes five.”

“… I don’t have anything else I can give.” I did, but I wasn’t ready to sell either my club or the small glasstone knife.

His smile turned jolly again, but I didn’t like the shape of it. “Oh, ya’ can simply supplement the missing two feet bright light with your soul. Isn’t it convenient? Light, power, food and currency, all in one?”

“You know damn well Harris. What I think about that.”

“Not talking about ya’, miss Rye.” He pointed a single cruel finger to Avice. “She pays.”

“What? Why? No, I’d rather give you my helmet, one of my greaves, my club, anything but…”

“Of course, of course.” he said. “Give it here then. It’s a deal, right?”

As I reached down to undo the straps of my greaves, my hands shook and my mind spiraled. I needed everything I could offer. The club for armored foes. The armor for not dying or being crippled. Gods knew I would’ve been long dead without it.

“I–I can take a loan. You do loans, right? You like interest? I can tell you; interest pays dividends. I know because–“

“No.” He said. “Armor or soul. Choose.”

I looked to Avice. “Avice. Don’t.”

“Deal.” She said and a mote of light wandered down into her hand.

“No. Avice, please. It’s your soul! Your being! This is just a sword. Just a stupid thing.”

But the light went and dimmed as Harris seemed to simply breathe it in. He glowed from inside for a moment, before that light too went out. He looked mighty satisfied.

“Avice!” I said in shock.

Next she looked at me, her gaze soft through the stone. “Here.” She said and gave me my new sword. Rusty and rotten. The weight felt great in my hands and I immediately felt guilty because of it.

“Why?”

“Because. You deserve it. Think of it as a gift. If not from me, then from fate, or from the gods.”

I really wanted to deserve it.

“N–now I just look like a cheapskate.” I mumbled to myself. Avice still heard it though, turning to me with a questioning stare.

I unfolded the small cloth wrapping and presented to her the thing I wanted to give as a gift. It was the small knife, blade a sharp reflective black, edge sharp like a razor.

“This is… for me?” she asked with a crease in her brows. “Why?”

I chuckled. “Because I thought you’d like it. I saw how crestfallen you were when your own broke. And you did save me in the fort that one time.”

“I didn’t–“

“No, Avice. You did. Nobody’s perfect. But you stepped forward when you had to.”

“I don’t–“

“Avice, I don’t think I deserve this sword any more than you think you deserve this little thing. Take it. Please.”

With a sigh, she took the offering and lifted her mask so I could see her smile.

“I will take it as the kindness it was meant as then.”

“Good. Because now that you’ve already given me something, I was worried you’d find this gifting stuff back and forth a bit… transactual.”

“Transactual you say?”

“Yeah. Y’know. You should give presents to make someone else happy. Otherwise, you’re just trading favors. Or you start expecting gifts for doing nothing. Then you just turn into a… a gift-whore.”

That got her to snort a laugh. It didn’t stay at one as she giggled and chuckled all the way back outside.

“Alright then.” She said, wiping a tear from her face. “Shall we spar a bit to get you used to your new instrument of stabbing?”

“Sure. Though before that, it needs a name.”

“A name?”

“Yeah. I name all my important weapons. And shields. Though, Planky the second is kind of… retired for now.”

“And what is your club called?”

That got me to think for a second. “I dunno. Not really that attached to it. It’s not that great either. Maybe Bonk? Bonker? Sir Bonkster the knee-popper?”

She grimaced “Ugh. Please. The words alone make me want to hurl.”

“Sir Bonkster it is!” I proclaimed triumphantly.

She took out her waterskin and drank deeply from it. “Ah, there. Better.”

“Nothing beats the water here, eh?”

“Yes. The water. It is very refreshing.”

“Alright. I’ll think of a name for my sword later. For now, let’s sharpen it a bit.”

She chucked something towards me, and I caught it. “Here. Use this one. It was left over from my last haul.”

“Avice...”

“Shush.” She said. “Do not act all abashed and gift-whorish in front of me. It is merely a rock.”

That got a chuckle out of me instead. “Yeah. Alright.”

“… you’re not already thinking about what gift to give me in return, are you?”

“N–no.”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The dreaded day crept ever close. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. The waiting was the worst. I was almost looking forward to getting beat up by Moggen and to a lesser extent Avice now, just because then I could take my mind off of it all. But lying in bed, waiting for my aches to go away and unsuccessfully trying to sort the chaos in my mind was pretty much the last thing that would reduce my nervousness.

I am still not ready. Not prepared. Whatsoever.

My sword is good. It feels nice in my hands. I can finally poke things to death again. And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got a backup club.

But I don’t have a shield. I’m missing armor on my right hand.

Wiggle wiggle.

Yeah. Still no wiggle. Still fucked. Dammit.

Is there really no other choice? Nothing else I can do? I can’t let everyone down. I need to stand in the front. I’m the guide, I have to be calm and collected and all kinds of things I’m not.

I need to protect Avice. She needs time to get started when the going gets rough. I need to buy her that time, or even better, take responsibility, and take the fight to my opponent myself. Kill them if need be.

I’d rather I make that choice than her. Then again, the swamp is mostly full of spiders. No remorse there. I’ll be fine. As long as I beware of fish.

The sound of fast and light steps reached my ears only moments before small hands grab me by the shoulders and violently rattled me back and forth.

“Rye, Rye, Rye!” Pim said with an excitement that was positively vomit-inducing.

“I’m awake, I’m awake!” I yelled. “What is it, Pim? Oh, and a good day to you too, George.”

Squeak.

What a good bean. So fuzzy. So polite. So George.

“Rye! I need to show you something!” Pim said in a conspiratorial whisper.

“Is it important? I was kind of trying to get some sleep.”

“Yes! Yes! It’s very important. Very much important.” His face betrayed only complete honesty and the innocence of his conviction.

Well, guess whatever it is, I’ll just pretend it’s super important for now. Don’t want to let him down. He’s got few enough friends as is. Come to think of it, where are all the other undead children?

That question made me shiver; I really did not want to know the answer to it. I stood up and let him pull me by the hand. He had small claws but made sure not to dig them too deep into my skin.

What a polite little boy.

We went on a small journey through the temple complex, past many sleeping and idling people. Half of them looked bored, half looked tired, and the last half were somewhere between muttering insanities and entirely despondent.

Wait. Math doesn’t add up. I should know better. Oh well.

We arrived finally at a big solid wall at the end of on of the rectangular corridors. The smell of cooked meat filled the air. A single satisfied patron of Lohan went on by, practically inhaling a piece of croc flank.

Man, I would kill for some veggies or fruit right now.

“Hanhan!” Pim said.

“Hello my little fellow. I thank thee for watching my collection of belongings while I was away. Here.” He gave him a piece of meat and Pim voraciously scarfed it down with one hand while nervously looking around.

“Can you… close your eyes. Only for a bit. Please?”

“Of course, little one.” Lohan said and leaned back on his pack of stuff. By the looks of it, people were giving him all kinds of little knick-nacks and thingies as thanks for roasting their food. He even had a small offering bowl of his own.

I snipped a few coins in there and he lifted his hat in acknowledgement, nodding before pretending to nod off again.

“So…” I said as Pim checked the wall for whatever it was he wanted me to show. “A secret, huh?”

“Uh-huh. A secret secret.” He seemed to have found what he was looking for, as he grabbed into a small alcove in the wall. I peeked over his shoulders to see what it was. There was a single long candle standing there, unlit like so few remained in this temple.

The Wolf said something about them. That I should watch them become lit or something. I don’t really remember. Can’t have been all that important then. I bet they’re just here to mask the smell of all these people. Imagine how juicy it would otherwise seem to those horrors outside, like a fresh nut waiting to be cracked.

Meanwhile, Pim strained against some sort of unseen force. He propped himself against the wall and with sounds indicating he was trying with all his might, he pulled back.

“You need a hand, little bud?” I was about to offer him my right hand again in what was quickly becoming my favorite joke. It helped alleviate the bad thoughts a bit.

Pim didn’t get it. With a sudden tug, the candle gave way, but did not fully part with the ground. Instead, some quiet clacking followed. A rattle of chain and something like the flow of many pebbles.

The quiet sound of rock grinding against rock filled the nearby area. Which meant that it wasn’t actually all that quiet. It certainly was loud enough to raise Lohan’s suspicion. He peeked with one eye from beneath his prodigiously brimmed hat, before suddenly falling backwards as the wall behind him gave away.

I stood awestruck as a secret passage suddenly was where not a single seam had presented itself along the entire wall.

“See? See? Rye, look, look Rye. It’s a secret tunnel.”

“Huh.” I said. “That it is.”

But an odd feeling of unease was building in my stomach. This had been here all this time, and nobody noticed. Nobody who knew, if there was anyone at all, told anybody else.

Glom must have known. Harris too maybe. The Wolf. He really hasn’t told me a lot. It’s been six months. Six months!

I realized for a moment how content I had simply been, to grind away at a big issue, to live day to day and simply submit to a quite repetitive routine.

“That is… quite the reveal.” Lohan said as he stood up beside me.

“Yeah! I found it!” Pim said and happily smiled away.

Gods, his little ear twitches are adorable. Like a kitten, or a fox, like a dog or… wait, wait. Rye. He is a person. Not an animal. Not a human. But a person.

I ruffled his hair and he sighed in a high-pitched trill.

Was… was that a purr?

“I think I should tell Avice about this. And maybe Vinesse and a few others. This could be dangerous.”

“I agree.” Lohan said. “Better let caution guide thy steps than let hot-headedness lead to a loss of thine own.”

“NO!” Pim practically yelled. “No.” he said again, a bit quieter this time. “It’s a secret. My secret. And Goerge’s too. I wanted to show you. And Hanhan.”

I sighed and prepared myself to do what any good responsible grown up would do. “Pim. This is dangerous there could be monsters down there. Or bad people. We can’t just go on our own. This could be very important for everyone in the temple.”

“But, but… it’s a secret. A-and an adventure. I wanted to show you.”

Pim looked to be near tears and tantrum. But Lohan was agreeing with me. We both had a responsibility of sorts and while Pim was doing his best to make me feel miserable (it was working, I felt like I just stepped on a kitten), he was just a child. But a shadow loomed over us three.

“What’s this about a secret I hear?”

We all turned in near unison. Behind us was a large man, well shaven and with tusks poking out from behind his lips. His smile and eyes turned crescent and wild. I took a step in front of Pim.

“And why do you want to know that?”

He licked his lips and eyed us three. “Looking for treasure.”

None of us answered and at that, the intimidating figure simply walked forward. He pushed me and Lohan aside and went forth into the secret hole.

“Shit.” I said. “I… I’m going. Just to make sure he doesn’t trigger some ancient trap or long forgotten danger.”

Lohan nodded. “I will escort thee. No woman or man should be left alone with a shifty figure as is he.”

“I’m coming too!” Pim said.

Squeak.

“No, Pim. You stay here. It’s too dangerous.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Pim, this is not the time.”

“Let him come.” Lohan smiled in that relaxed way he always did. “I shall keep him at the back. The gods watch over us. And Bekki ears are known to hear extraordinarily well.”

I looked at him with mixed feelings. “Alright. But I’m taking point. And Pim?”

“Yeah?”

“At the first sign of danger, you run and get Avice or Vinesse.”

“You mean the mask-lady?”

“Yeah. Mask lady.”

And with that, we stepped forth into the secret tunnel. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for some fortune to come my way. Though I was just as certain that this whole tiny expedition could easily go sideways and out the window.

I gripped my newly sharpened sword’s hilt. Rust was still on its blade in a few places. But it was sharp, after using a single sharpening stone. And it would serve me well, should something creep out from the dark.