《Saga of Steel and Bone (Ashes & Phoenix)》Chapter 25, Old Lady McBeth
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"Tim, don't we have a surprise for Roland?"
Tim's eyebrows draw up in confusion.
Jace punches his friend on the shoulder. "You know, the surprise we promised days ago?"
They exchange glances as we walk down a bustling market street, ignoring most of the sideways glances two large men and one hooded man get from the common folk. Even still, many of the marketplace folks shove steaming buns and bejeweled tunics in my face. It is only mid-afternoon, after all. Plenty of time to make a sale.
My nerves are strung tighter than a harp on Harvest Epoch.
But I don't miss the thrill lighting up Tim's hazel gaze. "Oh, you be talking about that promise."
I back up, certain this means no good for me as twin gazes of slowly grinning predators turn on me.
"I'm good without this so-called promise. I have something else to do," I say, slowly backing away into a shadowed alleyway where I can climb a roof and disappear, with none the wiser. Certainly I can find David's house without Jace.
Tim smiles. "There will be knives there," he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
Huffing out a breath, I consider. I need new blades, that's for sure. I even asked Tim to find me a place to buy a set of throwing knives along with a hunting knife.
They watch me, hardly daring to move.
"Fine," I eventually concede. It's not like they can do anything worse to me than what's been done in the past, and I'm pretty certain I can overwhelm them both—granted they don't have hidden archers with arrows wherever we go.
Tim pounces and gets me in a loose headlock before I can reconsider, making me really wish I hadn't agreed to this.
He leads us along until we're approaching quality two-story homes with brick and white stone walls around them to keep vagabonds out. The light from the sun highlights the stark whiteness of the homes, and I imagine in a few hours it will highlight them in oranges and golds from the sunset.
I duck out from under Tim's hold, but follow along like an obedient puppy as he walks on as if nothing happened.
They stop in front of a large stucco house with cream curtains billowing from the open windows. A brick pathway bordered by flowering orange calendula and dark green evergreen hedges leads to an open front door, where stands a woman.
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Her steel grey hair is pulled into a tight bun on her head, and she watches us like a hawk watches a bunny playing in its territory.
"What do you think you boys are doing bringing riffraff into my courtyard?"
They grin at me before doffing their caps and bowing to the formidable lady. I stand there like a fool, not knowing what to do.
Jace pulls me down even with him and Tim.
"We would like your humble help with the Shifter, My Lady."
She huffs, a sound I know well because I do it myself often enough. It's a sound of annoyance mixed with humor.
That's when I get a whiff on the air of something strange and not quite... normal. She isn't fully human, but she's not Shifter, either.
"Bring him on in. Let's see what we have to work with." She turns without another word, her sharp steps echoing down the wooden hallway.
I look at the two with a frown. "I'm not going in there."
"You've come too far to stop now. Don't you want to see the knives?"
I grumble about two idiots and me being the third.
Something laughs in the back of my mind.
They shove me into the house, shutting the door behind us and cutting off my escape. I look at it, glare at my two companions, then stalk down the wooden hall.
At once, I'm bombarded with heavenly scents. There is lilac oil mixed with a hint of burning wick from a candle. The sweetness of buns filled with a strawberry jelly colors the air from a hallway branching off into a clinking and clanking door, behind which I take to be the kitchen.
I come to a sitting room. The lady is perched on a floral divan, a rug from The Isle of Jruth beneath her feet. The smell of the rare sheep's wool is tainted by the harshness of chemicals and dyes.
That's about when I realize Tim and Jace are watching me with wolven grins.
I try to shove past them back to freedom, but all I get is two brick walls and a shove back into the room.
I land on my tail, glaring up at the two grinning men and promising retribution in my mind.
A dainty sigh from behind me has me on my feet and bowing in less time than it takes a human to sneeze.
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"I see I have much work ahead of me," she says, holding a pink teacup in her hand with one pinky out.
I look around, seeing billowing curtains in open windows leading to fashionable gardens with expertly trimmed hedges that look like swans and elephants.
"What, exactly, do you do here, my lady?" I ask.
"I train men how to talk to ladies."
I ignore the guffaws of the men behind me as I gape at the woman.
"You... train... wha...?"
She sighs again, setting the teacup on a settee before her. "I see I have a considerable task ahead. Who is the young lass you are trying to impress?"
"Heather," one of the buffoons behind me chokes out.
I turn and glare, even as I realize my cheeks have grown red under a mix of annoyance and anger.
A smile has tipped the lady's mouth as I turn back to her, the blush still on my cheeks and my tongue useless in my mouth.
"I see," she says.
She stands, walking around a plush loveseat and setting a hand on my arm. I try not to flinch and succeed... mostly.
"If the mere thought of this Heather brings your tongue to loss and your cheeks to flame, I find you are possibly beyond my reach to help. But alas, I have worked greater miracles before, young man. Come. The first thing you should do is introduce yourself."
"My lady—I think there has been a misunderstanding."
Twin snickers from behind me match the internal snicker from You-Know-Who.
"Oh? And what would that be?" she asks, drawing me to the love seat and easing down beside me, much too close for comfort.
I clear my throat, glaring at the two men leaning on each other in the doorway and trying to avoid the gaze of the lady.
"I—I have no wish to court Heather."
A smile tugs at her lips, even as she twitches her deep golden dress into the proper places befitting a lady and slices cheese with a rounded golden knife inset with an ivory handle. The thing will hardly cut cheese.
"I told you there would be knives," Jace whispers for my ears alone, laughter in his voice.
I glare at him, his teasing grin the only thing I get in return.
"There is no need to be shy. Plenty of young, handsome men come to me for help. We women are sometimes hard to understand, you see, and you men can use a helping hand. Now, what is your name?"
"Roland," I say, choking on my spit halfway through my name when she brings a piece of cheese to my lips.
I dodge around her hand without brushing against her hand or knee, no easy feat considering how close the sofa forced us. I almost leap out a window before catching myself with one foot up and out the sill. With a sigh, I bring my foot back down into the room.
She purses her lips as I turn back. "Now, young man, your manners are appalling. Come back here and introduce yourself. Politely. State your name and say it's a pleasure to make my acquaintance. Follow it by a compliment."
I clear my throat, look from the two men nodding their head in agreement like twin bobbling heads, then turn back to the lady even now glaring at me with shrewish eyes meant for tearing men down to size.
"Forgive me, my lady. I didn't realize what we would be coming here for—lessons—today. I am Roland, it's a... pleasure... to make your acquaintance. Please accept my accolades on your home. You have a very regal manor."
She nods, her glare receding. "Very good. Improvements can be made, but very nice indeed. Perhaps you aren't a lost cause after all. I am Lady McBeth. I will be your tutor today."
The two men in the door snicker behind their hands like school boys pulling a prank.
McBeth glares at the two and shoes them away with a dainty flick of her handkerchief. They scramble away with shaking shoulders.
Somehow, someway, and someday, I will get those two back. They will not know the north end from the south end of a donkey when I'm through with them.
What follows is the most excruciating lesson on manners and etiquette I have ever endured. And I have endured more than my fair share, I assure you.
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