He was standing in what I’d think of as a judge’s robe, but it had huge white buttons down the front in three rows with white lace between each one. Around his neck was the oddest collar I’d seen in a long time. It was one of those stiff lace old-timey things that were white with a black edge and stuck out about six inches. It looked like it would keep anyone from looking down. Somehow he was still looking down his nose at me even with that thing to keep him from moving his neck.

Before I could say anything to him, he started to speak. “Bozo, I want you to understand that this is all quite not normal for you to be here again. Something happened, not sure what, and now things need to be fixed, and so you’re here.

There are rules, and those rules shouldn’t be broken or even appear to be broken. As it stands, those rules have been broken somehow. Your class and race shouldn’t be. I have brought you here because I’m to try to fix you.”

I looked at him with a slightly slack jaw as he had just started talking without me even getting an idea of who he was or where I’m. I also was in a slight shock as to who he was and why he called me bozo, and that I was here again.

He then reached his arm out and snagged me by the shoulder. I felt a firm hand squeeze me. “Let see how messed up you’re to see if I can fix you before we move forward,” he said. I felt a slight drain on my mind.

I went to speak, and he cut me off again.

“This is a mess; I know that when you left, you were a Drakon warrior and a proper champion at that! Now, look at you, a wild human Enchanter! Who has heard of such a thing.” He then started muttering as he looked at the space in front of himself, as he kept squeezing my shoulder.

He pointed at a chair, “go sit and this time don’t get up or touch anything. You moved my things last time you were in here and I couldn’t find where you put my favorite snow globe for a whole day.”

I went and sat down in the high-backed leather chair he pointed out. I was oddly compliant, which made me kind of unhappy. I wasn’t pushing to know what was going on or why I was only doing as I was told. I’d questions that I wanted to be answered, but I just seemed to be okay with waiting.

He walked around and sat down at the desk. When he did, he pulled up a stack of papers and started going through them while I waited. Each time I went to ask a question, he would hold up his right hand with just one finger up and shake it slowly back and forth till I closed my mouth. It took him a little over thirty minutes to look through all the papers he had before he spoke again.

“Everything is in order on my end, filed correctly and submitted correctly. However, you’re just not in the system. Well, you’re in the system as Bozo, but Bozo is not connected to you Arn anymore and Bozo is just not even out there. Not as a body not as a soul and you’re a body and a soul but not in the system not connected to anything that came through the gate. You are broken and I don’t know how to fix you. I can’t send you back out the gate and then bring you back since there is nothing here to teether you and you were paid for so you have to be here. Unless…”

He looked off in the air for a moment and then pulled out a piece of paper and started to write. After a few moments, he took the page and folded it and then set it on fire with a candle. Soon after, a piece of paper appeared in front of him. He unfolded it, breaking three seals on it as he did, and he read slowly, shaking his head back and forth.

“Well it does appear that the one that paid for you doesn’t want to pay again, nor does he want a replacement as he said you were what he wanted and he didn’t want to spend the time looking again. He also said it would make a fun song. So that means since I can’t just get rid of you we’ve to compensate you,” he smoothly spoke as he stood.

I looked at him for a few moments as he walked around the desk, trying to figure out what he meant by I was paid for and that this would make a good song. In the mellow state that I was in, I was just not fully understanding everything that was going on. I wanted to sit here a while and think.

The man asked with a snipped tone, “well do you want that compensation or should I go back tell those with the rules that you felt everything was fine and didn’t need anything?”

“No, no!” I almost yelled out to make him stop. I wanted whatever was being offered to me as it was more than I had. I’d no idea who this guy was, but I’d take a hand out and perhaps some help.

“Well since you don’t want anything I’ll drop you back and we don’t ever have to talk about this again. I’m sure that you’ll be as happy as me if this whole issue was put behind us.” The man rambled out at me.

“I meant no, don’t go back and say I do want the compensation. Please let me know what it is.” I said as calmly as I could to the slightly deranged man.

He snorted and pulled out another set of papers and burned yet another message. After a few minutes of us not speaking, a small box appeared in front of him. He opened it looked in, and his face drained of all color. Then he sent off another letter and got another response. Then another one and another. A scroll appeared in front of him, and when he read what it said, he convulsed in pain.

With a great huff, he reached into the box and pulled out a golden chain and on this chain was an opal that had to be at least two inches around cut in an oval. He reached his hand toward me and said, “this is The Necklace of Cores, if you treat it right and feed it then it will provide you cores.”

He then sat on the front of his desk and sighed, and said, “the other part of this compensation that the rules seem to demand would be to offer to you that you may ask me questions in accordance with how the system works and with what you should’ve already known but somehow don’t know about the world in general. There are things that I may not tell you; however, I’ll answer your questions as the rules let me. Because I’m busy with my other duties, and this is just because YOU can’t remember and because you somehow broke the rules, there is a rule around how you’ll ask your questions. If you don’t follow this rule, then I’ll not be able to answer your question because I’ll not be able to hear your question. I’m, after all, busy. If you wish to ask a question, then before the sun goes down, you must yell, ‘Oh great and mighty greeter Sam, I the lowly Arn beseech you to answer my question.’ Do you understand?”

I took a deep breath and asked, “so let me get this right to get answers from you I need to yell my questions and you’ll answer?”

The very odd old man shook his head from side to side. “No! You must yell before the sun goes down, Oh great and mighty greeter Sam, I the lowly Arn beseech you to answer my question. You then ask your question and only one question. Then when you go to sleep that night I’ll answer your question for you.”

“Okay, so first I yell, Sam, I have to talk with you, and then I ask my question,” I asked again, not believing for a moment I’d to do this whole “I beseech you” crap.

“No, Arn what I’m giving you is an incantation to reach me and ask your question any deviation from this will make it so it doesn’t work, and then you’ll have wasted your try for this day.” Sam rambled out at me.

“Okay, can I get that written down in English so that I can have it and I don’t mess it up?” I asked as I dropped my shoulders in defeat.

“Well I could give it to you written down in English but since you’re a wild human you can’t read so that will not help you much of anything. So what I’ll do is I’ll give it to you as a spell to cast and the system will have you do it correctly each time.” Sam said with about as much emotion as a frying pan on a wall.

“Thank you, Sam, that would be nice,” I responded as dryly and defeated as I could.

Sam drew himself up straight and yelled, “The Great and Mighty Greeter Sam! Not, Sam.”

I nodded thanks to him and asked, “So are you able to make it so I can read?”

“No,” he said.

“Why not? I already can read, just this system thinks I can’t”, I pushed back.

“Rules were broken when you were made and because of how they were broken I can’t change you. If I could change you I’d make it so that you were Bozo, the Drakon warrior however I can’t,” The Great and Mighty Greeter Sam responded.

With that, he laughed, and out the door I went. I’m not sure how he knocked me out of his study without touching me or how I ended up flying back a good thirty feet without landing hard, but that is what happened. The door flashed out of existence with a huge bang that sounded like an M80 in a mailbox.

I scrambled to my feet, expecting to be attacked by the dogs. I heard barking nearby and growling.