Ch: 22 Its Just Business

The sun was still low in the sky when Imran Khan rode in through the gate to Wheatford. He cantered up to the stable shared by War and Order, only to find the place in mild chaos. One stableman was looking worn and upset, trying to manage forty horses alone.

When Imran rode up and dismounted no one trotted over to take his reins, the man just waved to a stall and called out; “Please forgive me milord, the others all scarpered to watch the doings at the Adventure compound, I’m all alone here.”

The poor man was half wrestling an ill mannered stallion with limited success. “Annie, help him out please, I’m going to check out the Adventurer’s compound.” She stamped a ladylike hoof, making the hair around her shaggy fetlocks flair prettily. “Good lass.” He said, patting her and pulling off his tack.

Annie trotted over and waved her tail under the stallion’s nose, then used her backside to press the smaller horse back into his stall. She nuzzled his nose, while shoulder bumping the stall door closed. Once it was latched, she opened the vacant stall next door and ambled in.

While the stable man stood there, sweating and panting, Annie reached over the stall and grabbed his shoulder in her teeth, tugging him closer to demand a rubdown. “Does she require any special attention milord”? The confused but thankful man asked the departing figure of Khan.

“She will let you know. Let her help if you get in trouble again.” He called out while striding towards the sound of activity.

A few short blocks away, just inside the empty portal where gates would hang if Wheatford had an active Adventure guild, a woman in the robes of a priestess of War stood, arguing with a giant in the panoply of Order.

“ONCE AGAIN I am humiliated by these urchins, my notice was filed, my friends have come AGAIN, and this is what we find!” She shrilled, her breathy accent giving way to a fishwife’s high barking call.

The object of her fury was an empty courtyard off the main parade grounds, neatly laid out for a vegetable garden. The stakes and ropes were torn up and tangled by stomping feet, but it was just a bare patch of dark, rich soil at the moment.

“I will be made whole for this disrespect! Bring those waifs forward, I would see them punished for this affront now!” She shrieked, turning shades of red that failed to complement her robes of office.

“Lady Helene, there is no law compelling their presence, even were there, they left town on first day morning, I know not when they will return.” He said mildly, his helm hiding the pleasant smile of enjoyment clearly audible in his voice.

“If a complaint is lawfully recorded I will be compelled to investigate, do you wish to record an official complaint?” He asked, still as calm as a millpond.

“I do nephew,” She said icily, “I will be filing grievances with the temple this very morning, requesting that lord Farnagahn address the matter personally!” She huffed. “You let that dancing fool make a mockery of myself and my companions before the sacred festival, now you allow this… THIS!” She almost screamed, pointing to the inoffensive patch of soil in a towering rage.

It was no surprise that the spectacle had drawn all the denizens of the Adventure guild compound. A mob of orphans, from babes in arms, held by their elders, to the aged pensioners stood and watched, chatting happily.

There were familiar faces from his prior visits, Mikkel and his wife Hannah, they looked fit and happy. If anything they looked younger, as though years of time and cares had drifted away like thistledown on the breeze. He waved to them as he approached.

“Khan, you young whelp! When did you get in, you should be free now, yes?” Hanna chirped, dragging Mikkel forward in an awkward hop and stumble that was pure acting on the one legged joker’s part.

“Have you come to steal my heart away and rescue me from a loveless marriage finally?” She cried, leaping up and embracing the young man with vigor surprising for such a tiny old woman.

Helene, unhappy already, nearly collapsed in a faint at being upstaged by such an undignified display. “How does the god Order allow such unseemly and crass activities in the district?” She trembled and pointed to the jovial greetings being shared around by her social inferiors.

“Will you continue to allow these japing peasants to make mockery of their betters with impunity?” She yelled, stamping her feet impotently at her metal clad nephew.

“As soon as someone violates law or tradition, I will surely act decisively.” He said, more loudly than was really necessary.

“What is going on out there?” Khan asked, when they were far enough from the noise to speak.

“Ohh, a few of our little ducklings have ruffled the feathers of a high flying bird.” Mikkel said with a wry smile. “She fancies herself an eagle… I think buzzard suits better.”

Hannah took up the tale of baths and nobles, telling of the humiliating carnival atmosphere and deeply odd musical performance.

“So now she comes back, thinking to catch them away from home, only to find home has gone along with them!” She cackled with glee, projecting her voice just loud enough to carry clearly to the enraged lady.

“I met those youngsters of yours, and stayed in their house, the odd one seems to be very unstable.” He frowned in concern. “Are you sure they should be roaming around with someone so deeply disturbed? Only the lady Trelawney had a full suite of contracts, one of them had none at all”

“Only one had no contracts you say… that is unexpected. Gary is odd, but there is no evil in him. If anything he wears chaos and misdirection like a cloak, but he is harmless.” Hannah said firmy.

“I was certain he was going to try and murder me as a guest in his own house when I revealed that I was carrying a bid on his indenture.” Imran said calmly. “He used some strange magic to incapacitate those who could interfere, and all but challenged me to a duel to the death.”

“Surely not!” Hannah exclaimed. “You are mistaken, Imran, that boy couldn’t…” Sha caught the look on her husband’s face and her words slowly died.

“The lad has some ideas about the debt of care and indenture system that are… unconventional. He would take that information very poorly I think, without his friends there he would have fought you.” Mikkel said thoughtfully.

“I was seriously considering taking him up on it, perhaps giving him a scar to remember his manners…” Khan paused, looking thoughtful as well. “I think that if I had, one of us would be dead now and I have no certainty it would be him.”

“If it ever comes time you need to put that boy down, don’t you try it in that house. It’s a strange place and he is capable of some very very strange things there.” Mikkel said coolly. “If you do put that boy down, you better be certain, because his friends will kill you… I’m his friend Imran.”

“Point taken, Master Mikkel.” He said, smiling at the old man fondly. “You spoke of a public bath and musical instrument shop. The house I stayed in looked like some kind of inn, can he alter it at will? What is this boy?”

“The very questions I have been putting to this one legged goose since that boy first appeared! Mikkel has been damnably closed-mouthed on the whole matter.” Hannah complained. “He knows something, and that old scarecrow Otho knows more, I wager.”

“Secrets are for keeping, not for telling. Ask the boy yourself.” Mikkel grumped, clearly done with this conversion. “He only makes sense if you can see past the madness. If you ask, that fool boy will tell you anything you want to know. Then you will be wondering about other things. In the end, he’s just a boy lost in the world, try to remember that.”

“That is an interesting turn of phrase, master Mikkel.” He said with a sharp look.

“Think on this while you carry out your last task for War. You are delivering a bag of coin, for the purchase of a young man.” Mikel said, his voice steady, but poorly concealing the turmoil behind his calm.

“To buy him for five years, to be a soldier or a servant. As I was bought, and you yourself were sold. Sold Khan, they sold us and we never thought about it.” The old man looked sad and more than a little lost. “Why did we not see that?”

As he listened Kahn felt like he had been bucked from a horse and had yet to land. While his insides dropped away into a bottomless abyss, he remembered his indenture sale. “I wanted to work with horses… even if just as a carter…” He whispered softly to no one.

When the plump leather bag dropped onto the officer of the day’s desk at the temple of War, the knight on duty took a moment to recognize him. Khan had changed into workman’s garb common in the town and offered no salute.

“Khan, can I convince you to re-enlist? I’m authorized to offer you knight adjutant, you could work up to captain from there and become a lord if you marry well.” Dalen offered, holding out a hand to shake.

Khan shook it and declined the offer. “I have some things to work on, maybe after I spend some time as an Adventurer.” He said with a distant smile. “Things are happening and I want to see what I missed.”

“I hope you do well, marry a good woman and squirt out some fat babies if that’s what you want, we always need skilled lancers and cavalry.” He said, clapping the former knight on the shoulder.

“Could you do me a favor, since you are probably going to the Adventure compound, drop these off with the administrator for me?” He said, pushing the re-tied scroll and pouch back to him. “Lady Helene is making a scene and all my runners are carrying messages for her.”

“No, that I can’t do.” He said, pushing them back.

The duty knight looked puzzled. “I know its against regulations since you are retired now…”

He shook his head, cutting the older man off. “I know the boy, I don’t feel right participating anymore. Otho will reject it anyway.”

“Otho always says no, but participate in what? War? He is still your god, brother.” Dalen said. “You know what lurks out there, you will be back.”

“The war goes on, even though I am joining another force brother. You chose War if I recall, your parents are innkeepers in Flintspire yes?” He asked.

The older man nodded and smiled. “Yes indeed, I visit often. In fact, I just came back to town last night. I’ve been away since before mid summer.”

“Do you know this Gary kid this offer is on?” Khan asked.

“Nope, I guess he’s new in town. Must have made a splash wherever he came from to get a bid like that.”Dalen said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “You said you met him, should I tip off some of my contacts up the chain?” He asked, failing to read the vibe.

“The duke always likes to stay on top of up and coming indentures, or did you already cash in on that payday?” Dalen continued, expanding the gulf between them.

Khan fabricated a smile that did not reach his eyes and let the knight come to his own conclusions. “You don’t need that re-enlist bonus do you?” He smiled indulgently. “I never knew you to be such a sharp player in the indenture trade, I guess I missed a big one. What’s this kid’s deal?”

Khan just waved and strolled away calling over his shoulder: “He’s just a boy lost in the world is what I hear…”

The sun was still well above the treeline when the dealings were done and the boat crew accepted Liams invitation to stay in the weird inn, now standing between river and road.

They shed their sandals at the door and donned slippers with looks of wonder across their faces. The men did, at least. Esperanza had a reputation and image to maintain.

She smiled, wise and worldly at each new mystery, the structure alone was a wonder. The kitchen made her blanch a little. It was the garden that finally made her laugh in childlike glee.

They settled in the common room, the inventory of Gary and Shai’s shop unobtrusively displayed in one corner.

“What a confluence of gifts your group has… this one never has seen the like!” Her giggle was girlish, joyful and unabashedly sexy. “Glad we are, that you are Adventurers and not tradesmen…”

The musical instruments on display caught her trader’s eye and the display of imaginative smoking pipes nearly broke her resolve. “Or do you trade as well?”

“Since we enjoyed your wares so much, perhaps you would like to see ours?” The boy who had been in such outlandish garb asked. He seemed more normal without his bizarre armor.

The tension was shattered when the big one demonstrated the self lighting enchantment on the pipes. He passed around a bowl of the sweetest leaf they had tasted in a long time. It is always important to thoroughly test any new product, the traders were firm believers in quality.

When they stumbled, red eyed and chuckling stupidly into the unusual outdooor baths, even dour and tough Dante giggled foolishly.

A hidden gate in the foundation wall allowed Falco to join the festivities, to the delight of all involved. Otho and Falco became unlikely partners in crime, insisting each human in turn join their game of chasing a person around the pool.

Esperanza had her own variation on the game, flirting shamelessly at every opportunity. Finally, Shai had enough. “Mistress Esperanza, Gary do be my man, an I hae no desire tae frolic in another’s bed.”

Gary, who had been playing a little air on his recorder by the side of the pool, felt an ominous gaze. Esperanza was cutting her way through the water like a shark. She had Shai by the hand, pulling the distraught smith along like a pool toy.

She used her momentum and force of personality to sandwich herself hip to hip between the pair. She flung an arm around both with a wide grin, knowing full well that her caramel skin and full breasts were being displayed.

“Sweet Shai says you are her man…” She licked her lips hungrily. “This one had hoped for a snack, but perhaps a full meal might be had…”

Shai had to admit, watching Gary fall apart like a house of cards was almost worth suffering the woman’s attention. She was very attractive.

Shortly after sunset, the whole rowdy gathering was back in the common room. Dressed in robes and slippers and feeling fine, it was not long before someone started playing something. Surprisingly it was Liam, working on something complex on Gary’s strange guitar.

“Whatcha working on Liam?” Gary asked, intrigued. “Sounds familiar, where did you hear that?”

“I think I dreamt it, do you know it? I really need to get it out of my head.” Liam said, looking a little desperate. “I can’t sleep through the night without waking up to… nevermind that.”

“I know that song Liam, its from my home town.” Gary said, inflecting the last bit oddly. “That raises questions for later. Wanna get it out there? Might help.” Gary said, sitting down to the pianoforte and showing Tawny a simple chord progression. When she had it, he moved to Ivy, getting her on track with a simple hoop drum.

None of Esperanza’s crew were magically dept or particularly sensitive, but they felt the movement on the air. Gary had his group rumbling towards a destination known only to himself. Tallum’s bass line was clean and simple, but sensuously slow. The drum thudded in time, intimately low and soft.

Shai’s violin sang softly in the background, quiet as a caress, while her bells played a counter rhythm. Gary began to clap and snap, while singing to his woman.

Making matters stranger still, he was punctuating the downbeat with a short and very suggestive gasp of pleasure, breathed into the silver button on his collar. Some strange magic making it sound and resound from every instrument in the room that had one of those bronze disks built in.

Its’ the time…

Of the season…

Poor Esperanza found herself on the outside looking in on a very intimate performance. She sulked at her table while watching the pair carry on. “This one never had a chance at her did she?” She asked Ivy when the music ended later.

“None, those two can’t look away from each other for more than a couple minutes.” Ivy smiled at her friends, canoodling on a sofa nearby. “If you had started off flirting with Gary, she might have gotten violent.”

The buxom trader sighed dramatically, drawing Tallum’s attention involuntarily. “That song was strange and very intimate, now this one truly craves a taste of those two.”

“Wow, you just put it out there! If you want to get into that pair’s bed you will need to do some masterful negotiating.” Ivy’s grin was infectious. “They could maybe use a broader perspective on that.”

“What, pray, is your perspective on ‘that’?” She asked, eyeing Ivy up and down with a smile that was lightly predatory.

“Uhh.. She’s with me…” Tallum rumbled, immediately regretting his words.

The male members of her crew were sitting around, smoking, drinking tea and enjoying the remnants of a fine meal of grilled fish, caught by Falco and Otho from the river.

Falco would flush them into the shallows, where Otho could toss them out onto the road. A few good sized catfish and a small sturgeon fed the whole group with ease.

The two familiars were still at play, goofing in the pool like a pair of teenagers. “Yours and mine get along so well… What else might we have in common?” She asked Ivy, turning her gaze fully on Tallum.

In panic he turned to Ivy, only to find a similar grin on her lips. “Ohh..” He whispered.

Gary and Shai were The first to retire, slinking upstairs guiltily, shooting glances at their friends, now cornered by that charming sexual predator.

“What is her deal? She’s scary!” Gary gasped once they were alone.

"I hae heard o this, ye know that Joy be the flip side o Water, an Water, Joy. Methinks she do hae multiple Contracts wi Joy, Water an Beast.” Shai smiled widely at his discomfort. “That do sometimes make folk hae unbridled passions. Joy do truly live up to her name wi one like Esperanza.”

“Yo don’t mean… she would have… So Ivy and Tallum…” As much as she enjoyed watching him crack his brain she needed the rest of him.

When Shai reached up and grabbed him by the first convenient hand hold she found under his robe, he got the message.

“Ahh, the master of the house deigns to grace us with his presence.” Marduk said while bowing so low he could smell his toes.

“Cram it ducky, I fed you Becky, you have nothing to complain about.” Gary snapped. “If anything you should be glad to have a partner who doesn’t micromanage.”

“Partner? I am a God, mortal upstart-...” The pale godling continued to rant, enclosed in a crystal bubble from which no sound escaped.

“Sorry Thirp, is he a cunt like that when I’m not around?” Gary asked, while watching for the others to arrive.

“You seem to bring out the worst in each other, perhaps you should sit down and talk to each other.” Thirp strummed, lost in thought. “You seem more antagonistic towards your own deity than to the outsiders seeking to infest your soul. Tell me about that.”

“Sure doctor Thirp, remember how I mentioned gods aren’t real where I’m from?” He asked, his voice artificially light. “Well they aren’t real, but we have them anyway and they all sucked. ‘Thou shalt hate these people, because they read from a different book of magic spells that don’t work.’ Screw those guys.”

“Ahhh, but Marduk is a god, he is real and he is Contracted to your soul. Why do the gods of your world matter?” Thirp asked, all annoying and reasonable. Gary glared at his sulking, preteen godling, still trapped in his timeout bubble.

“He treats me the way priests always treat those they see as beneath them. They see everyone as beneath them most of the time.” Marduk had turned his back to them, in order to sulk more effectively.

“It flips switches in my brain, I’m not proud of the way I react sometimes. Lately I feel way more aggressive and even violent, I never had that before this guy came along.” Thirp had big dark compassionate eyes, it was easy to talk to him. A furry arachnid psychologist was probably the least absurd thing in his life lately.

“Gary, please go back upstairs to await your mates, I would like to speak with Marduk for a little while please.” Thirp sang. His soothing voice took Gary down a few notches.

When the door closed behind him, Gary let Marduk’s bubble evaporate, slowly. “Wait… mates?” He asked himself, just as Becky and Shai appeared.

Gary resolved to pretend he had not heard that. “Hi girls, I kinda blew up at Ducky, again. Thirp is downstairs negotiating a truce, I’m in timeout.”

Becky flopped down on the bed beside Gary with a sigh. “It’s bad enough you keep getting in fights with my god, it really bugs me that you could probably kick his ass.” She dug a pointy elbow into his ribs. “Could you stop, it’s giving me some insecurities, since I kick your ass on a regular basis.”

“Fair point. And since I am going to concede and try to do better, I would like to draw your attention to that fact.” Gary weaseled.

“Why would you need to point that out unless you already…” Thirp chose that blessed moment to softly tap on the door.

“A few more minutes if you please, friends, we are making progress.” The spider sang through the door.

“Sooo! That Esperanza, she’s a hot tamale right?” Gary crowed, hoping to derail the prior topic.

“Aye, though such talk be nae fer Becky tae hear.” Shai warned.

“Right.” Becky scoffed. “I’ve been to Otho’s sculpture garden. I read that book you have lying around too… weirdo.”

“Book?” Shai asked. “Did ye stumble on summat dark here in Gary’s festering cesspit o smut?” She skewered him with an eye. “Ye can speak freely Becky, were it the tentacles?”

“You mean the box marked hentai? That's weird shit, no this is in the real world, it was on the bookshelf, the title was ‘An Affair Of Monsters’ super gross. And yeah, the tentacles too.”

Gary was crouching in the corner hugging his knees and talking to himself in spastic, jerky, fits.

“First the porno book, then the kinksword, all the bathing… well, I quite like that, but all the bathing! Now it's the book again… the kinksword must be appearing again soon!”

He began rocking back and forth, swaying to a beat only he could hear and whispering.

“Of course now it all makes sense… it’s the only secret I have! I have to show it to them, they have to see!”

“Gary, ye do scare us boy, come about and speak tae us.” Shai said firmly. “Ye need nae fear aught wi us.”

Slowly he turned, looking overwrought and distressed. One eye had a distinct twitch and his lips kept moving, even when he was silent. Between eyeblinks his weapon appeared in his hand, in its short spear form. Becky jumped a little and may have let out a small squeak.

“I only have one secret left, you guys always ask ‘your spear can be all these things, why not a sword' and I always say it can’t. That is a lie” He threw his weapon to the floor with a clang. “See? There, see my shame? My kinksword? It was Zygnos… he did this, another of his jokes…”

“Whae is the matter? Is a sword in the tradition o my people, we do always… ohh, now I do see it.” She giggled. “An ye stab sumat wi that they hae been well penetrated indeed.”

Becky was turning her head to the left and right trying to… “Ahh! I'm gonna get Hannah to make a scabbard for that, it should look like pants. Please put some pants on that.”

“You see? This is my life, four months ago I was a homeless cripple. Now I have a golden pecker a yard long and a spider thinks you are both my mates, and that our children will burst from my chest at some point.” He paced the room wildly for a moment before falling back onto the ridiculous bed.

“Maybe Esperanza was the final straw and now I have gone completely mad.” He looked up at them wild eyed and confused.

“Come on, She’s sexy and confident, maybe a bit too aggressive, but you look ok and don’t stink. With gifts like yours…”

Shai was Shaking her head emphatically and gripping Becky’s shoulder. She steered the smaller woman to the door gently and whispered, “We shall speak on this soon.” before closing the door.

Gary and Shai never came down that night. When Becky woke, curled up with Tawny, she crept upstairs to join the pair and drifted off into natural sleep with them.

Gary woke early, red eyed and stiff from unpacking way too much emotional baggage. When he realized he was trapped under skinny little Becky, he began to giggle like a fool.

He spent two quiet hours down in his workshop thinking and getting some stuff right in his head.

In the bath he began to feel more human. Later, near first bell, Shai staggered down. Shortly after, Ivy and Tallum stumbled from their chamber. Walking stiffly, they headed for the bath with single minded determination.

Esperanza came prancing out after, seemingly at peace with all creation and happy as a lark in spring.

“Good morning darlings! This one enjoyed your hospitality immensely! Falco my dear! Stop flirting, you are shameless!” She settled between Gary and Shai, using her rump to inveigle herself between them, resting a hand on each one's thigh under the water.

“Opportunities can be missed, but they can come around again… Esperanza will be plying these waters.” She trailed her hands up their thighs, grazing certain tender locales, before draping her arms around them. Fortunately she was too short to reach much, she did not stop trying though.

Gary was starting to feel more comfortable with the sensual charming young woman, He looked over her head and Shai was relaxing into her arms as well.

“Mistress Esperanza,” Tawny’s golden voice cut the air, shaking them from a mellow fog. “I understand your… condition, but Gary and Shai are a special case and are in my care.” She smiled down at them tenderly.

“You may find them irresistible, but I think you are perhaps too compatible with our little group.” She waved her hand, as though to clear swarming insects. “The magic is thicker than marsh flies in here!”

Ivy and Tallum were nearly unconscious, floating around looking happy and exhausted. Only Liam, Tawny and the three male members of Esperanza’s crew seemed immune to the effect. “Come on you three, Dante, Yusef, and Mark, was it? Come help get them apart.”

“OverJoyed.” Yusef said solemnly, as though pronouncing a diagnosis while hauling Shai away from his leader.

“These two, love hangovers, they will be fine.” Mark announced, equally calm from over by Tallum and Ivy.

“This one is not reacting well. Should I throw him in the river?” Dante asked, holding wet, naked Gary and looking uncomfortable. The boy was limp as a dishrag… mostly. Like ninety eight percent, that last two percent was working overtime.

“Just keep those three separate until everyone is dressed and ready for the day, a late breakfast will be lovely!” Tawny took control and had Liam preparing a simple meal, while the others gathered in the common room.

Dante escorted a still radiant, but now slightly subdued Esperanza into the common room, leaving the last two floating in the pool alone. Tallum closed the bathing room door with finality and sat down with ivy to eat.

“Where is Becky?” Liam asked, suddenly alarmed.

As the group began to stir, a voice floated in through the window.

“I’m in the stable you goons, it's gross in there.” Her beaded braids clicked softly as she stuck her head in through the window. “My first gift started showing up yesterday, aura sense… you guys are disgusting.” She looked around the room. “Gary and Shai? Ohh… Fix me a plate Liam, I’m eating outside.”

“As you see mistress Esperanza, your gifts and those of my companions are slightly incendiary when combined.” She set her golden stare on the other woman. “Please bear in mind that of our group, none possess a full suite of Contracts.”

Esperanza’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” She stood and assumed a kneeling position on the floor in front of Tawny and Liam. “This one has shamed her clan…” Her three crewmates joined her on the floor in silence.

“You meant no harm, there is no shame in this, please do keep it on a leash for now please.” Tawny said calmly. “Some of us are magically sensitive, others are particularly vulnerable to your charms.”

The river folk rose slowly and bowed as one. “Your group’s gifts synergized so well, it was as though all this…” She waved a slender arm to encompass the home and garden. “came from just one person.”

The Bathers chuckled awkwardly while Tawny let Liam answer. “That would be madness. No, we are a close knit family that is all. I am certain that Gary and Shai will hold no ill feelings once they are… recovered.”

Sunrise became full morning before the trade boat Esperanza got underway. Becky pushed a wooden crate into Esperanza’s hands as the gangway was being pulled free. “Gary and Shai wanted you to have these as a gift.” She said, before ducking away.

With his fierce puma helm on his hip, Liam cut a dashing and warlike figure in the cool winter morning. “We will look forward to the next time our paths cross.” He called across the water to the departing boat.

Gary and Shai did not emerge until a half hour after that, still looking peaky and befuddled. Tawny did her best to explain in the common room.

“As Shai surmised, Esperanza has multiple Contracts with Joy and a connection to Water. Since so many of us are touched by Joy, things got a bit out of hand. Once they were inside the house…” She shrugged. “It was only a matter of time before Gary used his gift on her and that was that.”

She stood in front of the furiously blushing pair. “If and when you encounter her again, exercise caution… or don’t.” She smiled a little wickedly. “Your sexual repression is not healthy Gary, I worry that you are ill prepared for life outside Wheatford.”

Tawny pointed to Ivy and Tallum, still huddled together whispering and giggling. “Those two are fine, you would have fared no worse.”

“I notice you didn’t melt into her cuddle puddle, why am I supposed to just go with it?” He asked, sounding genuinely miffed.

“I would call you a fool, but that is old news. You are stuffed with magic, that is why it spills out into everything you do. You can express that excess magic in any number of ways, but sex is among the healthiest and least likely to cause… complications.”

Gary stared blankly at Tawny for a while. “Really?” He finally asked. “No complications?”

Tawny looked shifty. “I will discuss matters with you in private later. Shai should be there too, but it is your choice.” She whispered.

“I’m done with this conversation. Let's get this moving, we have a mysterious entity to locate, identify and kill… and eat probably, is it weird that I’m hungry again?” Gary grumbled.