《The Princess's Feathers》17. Disposition

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I stare into the hazy water, examining the visage looking back at me.

I’ve returned to the pond where I found Calypso skipping rocks. I wanted to know what my new face looked like and thought this would be the best place to do it. I suspect as a Lithan, I’m not the friendliest looking thing. If someone from Ellyntide ends up seeing me in this form, then I want to know exactly what they’re looking at.

But now that I’ve arrived here, I’ve discovered something unsettling: Calypso’s cloying cologne, lingering in the air and blending with the smells of algae and canebrake. I only caught a whiff of it when Calypso absentmindedly backed into me earlier today. But for some reason it’s just as strong here, floating by the pond, as it was when I was right up next to him on the train. We left this area at least an hour ago, how can his scent still be so strong?

What a cruel way to be reminded I’ll only know his scent for a while longer. I’m trying to not let it bother me, anyway.

Forcing myself to refocus, I tilt my head slightly, and the reflection in the water follows. I blink, and it blinks in response. Crimson pearls, glistening off the surface of the water; fierce, beautiful, and unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.

It’s the reflection of a Lithan’s face.

My face.

How can such things be possible? Perhaps I died in the fight after all, and this is simply the afterlife. Someone’s cruel joke of an afterlife. I lower my head closer to the water, touching the tip of my muzzle to the surface. Ripples are cast, leaving cool drops of water on my feathers.

No, I’m not dead. This is real life. Though the afterlife may be preferable to the situation I now find myself in. It wasn’t enough that I had to watch Calypso die in front of me today. No, not only that, but I’ve also taken the form of a terrifying monster.

I can’t look like this. I can’t be this. I’m the Princess of Ellyntide! How am I supposed to carry out my official duties when I look like this terror staring back at me? If I were to return to the palace as I am now, it would cause a crisis. Would mom see me as the daughter she’s raised for 23 years? Or would she call on the knights to come and exterminate me?

And Sofl… Oh, goddess above…

A premonition plays in my head: I’m at the palace gardens, surrounded by knights of all orders with their weapons drawn and pointed at me. As they’re closing in, I’m desperately trying to explain to Mom what’s happened. Sofl is there, hiding behind Mom’s side, but my pleas aren’t reaching him. It seems he can’t understand a word I’m saying. With terror swelling in his eyes, he turns and flees…!

“Damn it, no!”

I whip my head around and turn away from the pond, charging headlong into the grove trees. I fold my wings flat and force my way through the foliage, causing a shower of leaves and shattered tree branches to explode out in all directions. I tumble through the forest until I burst through the other side and take off in a sprint across the prairie.

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This can’t be happening to me! I’m the Princess, I can’t be a dragon! I have to change back to normal!

I open my wings wide to skid to a halt and slam my eyes shut. Frantically, I search the fragmented memories of the fight and the transformation that occurred during it. There must be something! Some emotion, some feeling I can replicate that will turn me back to normal. There must!

A scene comes into view. It’s right after I scaled Orie’s back and bit his neck. I’m on the ground on all fours, facing down Starla as she stares on in shock at what the mons— erm, at what I just did to her companion.

Something catches my eye. There, on my right hand… the serpentine diamond. It’s shimmering!

My ring was shimmering during the fight. How can that be? I open my eyes in disbelief, focusing on my foretalons. The ring’s no longer there, of course. But what happened to it? Where did it go? Could the ring have something to do with my transformation?

I probe my memories further. What happened after I saw the ring shimmering?

After Orie was finished, I chased after Starla. Even though she was farther away and tried to escape, I was easily able to close the gap between us and pounce on her from behind. Like the Marten, I went for her neck, and… and, um. I killed her, too. With her no longer a threat, I whipped around and saw the Owl trying to escape by running to take off and fly away.

At this point in my memory, I can no longer see my talons. I suppose my neck had gotten long enough that they were no longer visible without looking down. I attacked the owl on the ground a moment later, but I was too busy silencing him to remember what my talons looked like.

In a positive development for everyone who hated my outfit today, it shredded to pieces as my body exploded in size. Could the same thing have happened to the diamond as I was growing? What if the diamond was responsible for my transformation somehow? Could I have inadvertently destroyed my only way to turn back to normal?!

I have so many questions, and it seems like I can answer none of them.

Let’s back up a little bit and try to think deeper about this.

The serpentine diamond is a national treasure forged by ancient members of the royal family, the Lordanous (that’s me!) It’s given to the heir apparent after a certain age to be worn as a ring until their coronation as Monarch.

The diamond is inert… at least, I believed it to be inert. It began shimmering right as my transformation into a Lithan began. There’s no way that can be coincidental, right? It’s as if the diamond knew my death was imminent and reacted to give me the means to defend myself. No wearers of the diamond have ever passed away before ascending the throne, so does that mean I’m the first to have faced mortal danger? It sounds absurd… but what else could it be?

I had anger problems when I was growing up. Dad likes to reveal to friends of the family how much of a problem child I was and how difficult it was to parent me. Could my anger have stemmed from the fact I’m some sort of half-Lemur, half-Lithan hybrid? And I didn’t take my Lithan form until my life was in danger?

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Okay, that sounds as absurd as an enchanted ring. Also, I’ve mellowed out since my hormonal-driven, rebellious teenage years. Anger is something I’ve learned to manage.

…What!?

You don’t believe me? You think the argument at breakfast this morning proves I’m still a rebellious little girl?

Feh! That was an isolated incident.

At least, I think it was.

I don’t know… magic rings, mutant forms, none of this sounds very plausible. And ultimately, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. Regardless of how it happened, it happened. I’m a Lithan, and now I have to deal with the consequences.

What if I just concentrated on trying to turn back to normal? If the ring or some latent power turned me into a Lithan, then maybe it also gave me the power to change back to normal?

Could it really work like that? I guess it’s worth a shot.

I close my eyes and try to focus on the image of myself: A big, blue and white feather dragon, maybe the size of the two-story building. Large wings, a long tail, and what I assume are some very sharp and very scary looking fangs.

I hold the mental image of myself that I’ve created and begin to shape it. My wings fold and shrink, becoming so small that they disappear back into my shoulder blades. My tail changes shape, losing its frock and returning to the curved black appendage I’m familiar with. My feathers molt, giving way to black and white tufts of fur. The only blue left on my body is my blue hair, which is growing out of my head and back to its original length. I’m regaining the appearance of a Ruffed Lemur.

I… I can feel something!! My legs are tingling! Something’s happening!

I open my eyes and examine my front leg, which is unchanged. The wind has shifted direction, rasping a group of Liatris pycnostachya flowers against my calves.

…Fweghing hell.

I stomp the moon, leaving a talon-shaped depression in the ground where the flowers used to be. Sorry, pollinators.

Undeterred, I try the thought exercise again. Then a third time. And, a fourth. Try as I might, no matter the type of mental tricks I play out in my head, nothing changes.

This isn’t going to work, is it? Am I really stuck in this form forever? I shift uncomfortably, anchoring my talons into the ground to keep me upright. My head feels light, as if the breeze could topple me over sideways.

What am I going to do?

“…Can I still talk?” I ask aloud, to nobody in particular. To my supreme relief, it seems I’m still capable of speech! But, whoa, what’s happened to my voice?!

“I can still talk!!” I exclaim, wishing to hear another sample of my new vocal cords. “Oh gosh, my voice changed! It sounds so… draconic!”

My voice has become shrill and tense, like the cry of a feral bird of prey. Still, I hear a voice that sounds remarkably like the one I’m familiar with. If someone I know hears me speak, I think they could recognize me! I’ve never heard of a feral being able to speak the Goddess language, but it seems I’m the lucky exception.

This is something. I can work with this. If I can’t change back to normal now, then surely I can get help from the palace, right? If it really was the serpentine diamond that changed me, then there has to be some book, some record in the archives from when this thing was forged that explains what’s happened.

And if we can’t find anything, mom could commune with our Goddess and ask her for help. If there’s anyone who can help us with this, it’s Etain. She’ll know what to do, I’m certain of it.

It’s not going to be easy to explain any of this. What’s happened to me, what happened to Laurent, Bodie, and Calypso. But mom will listen to me. No matter how difficult my story is to process, she’ll believe what I have to say. I might be a Lithan, but I’m still her daughter.

Landing at the palace and trying to find her is out of the question, though. Even if I managed to catch her while she was outside, mom’s surrounded by a layer of security at all times that will protect her with their life. They’ll never allow someone as dangerous looking as me to get close to her unless I can talk to someone else first and convince them I’m not a threat.

Calypso was the only animal outside my family that was close to me, though. I don’t know any of the groundskeepers in the garden well enough, and I rarely get to talk to professor Willow. Isn’t there someone else I can turn to for help?

Duncan!!

That’s right!! Me and Duncan became friendly with each other today!

I’ll tell him about my nickname for Calypso! I haven’t told anyone else about ‘Bristlebody’ yet, he’ll know it’s me right away!!

Yes! Yes! Yesssss!!

I’m so happy I have dumb little idiosyncrasies like giving animals nicknames!! Eat your heart out, mom!! My ‘regressive’ behaviors are totally going to get me out of this!!

Okay, erm, settle down. I still need to develop a plan for how I’m going to do this. No matter what, if I contact Duncan first then I have the unenviable task of delivering the news that his partner is dead. Obviously, I shouldn’t do it back in the hollow. Seeing his partner lying in a pool of blood with a giant dragon standing over his motionless body is… yeah. Not a great look. I don’t think any amount of talking down would work in that situation.

Confronting Duncan and the guard back at the airship is going to be the best way to do this. I’m unsure how those soldiers will react when a Dragon lands in front of them, but if I do it quick enough and start talking before they can pull their weapons, I think I’ll be able to get them to stop before they attack me.

Of course, that plan assumes I know how to fly. Or that I even know anything about how this body works. Before I decide to go back to the airship, I sho—

I’m not the only one here.

There’s something nearby!

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