Hi

A promised update from me.

Do not worry, I am not dropping the story or going on hiatus. The aim of the update is to highlight the issues with the story and possible solutions.

Before the cover update, the story struggled. It is much better now, but I know that many things in the story do not click. I have a plan for how to deal with it but I would love to have your opinion on it too.

The First Issue:

The biggest issue is MC (of course). There were several iterations (of his character and circumstance) I played with and eventually decided to pick the one with a photographic memory (facepalm). Yeah, not the smartest thing to do when I do not have a photographic memory myself. But this is not what is wrong with Keynes. My plan was to take him from zero to hero, but I neglected a part where I make him likeable and someone readers can relate to.

He is too weak and needs a bit of time to grow. Do not get me wrong, eventually, he will be a true powerhouse among powerhouses. A thing is, I like overpowered MCs but I do not like to hand them the power. Keynes has a Talent that used correctly, opens endless possibilities (literally). The Talent itself is worthless (as pointed out by Traveller).

I get that he is too agreeable and scared but I just cannot imagine a teenager to not be intimidated by the largest organisation in the solar system.

Solution:

I could make him older (around 21) and in the last year of the education known as the Academia and make him a bit darker (but also funnier, Starlord-like?) character with a propensity to experimentation and dark secrets. It obviously would shove him into problems but also create opportunities sane and rational characters would never encounter. His villain (which is another issue of the story – lack of clear villain at the beginning), would be a friend who offered him a shady ritual of Talent shaping and then betrayed him.

Second issue:

Quests are non-existent at the beginning of the story. Initially, I planned to have Keynes escape the base in Jamaica. But at the same time, I knew he would never get strong on his own without a mentor out of nowhere which I did not want to introduce so early. Again, he is too weak at the start but once he gets stronger, even the WG would have to tread around him carefully. So, yes, there are quests later in the story. I believe Vivena will open the story a lot in tomorrow’s chapter.

Solutions:

If I rewrite his beginning, the first quest obviously would be to open the wild rift (well-protected- kind of Thor vibe where SHIELD watched Thor struggle with his hammer).

Third Issue:

Cultivation and Attributes.

The truth is, I struggled here immensely (too many ideas and it paralyzed me). I could not decide how the system should work as it is easy to create idiotic loopholes or mess it all up. Also, I am a big fan of Brandon Sanderson) and love to plan how the story ends. So, obviously, I had to know exactly know how the end of scale power looks like.

Because of that, things are hazy at best or not explained at all at the beginning (and these are just basics).

Solution:

Use the last lecture at the Academia to explain attributes and the most important rules. Vitality and Cultivation have to still wait and must be discovered and learned the hard way, crippled Seed of Life is part of a greater plot.

Other issues:

Side characters (Webster Frog, Vivena, Harter), Setting

Side characters feel all over the place (this is because I have a bad tendency of setting up too many plots). Nonetheless, most side characters will have their time to shine or will be killed off for the story sake (no worries, I won’t George Martin the story or Fairy Tail it, on the other hand).

Setting is unclear, and again, I should have put more effort into the world-building at the beginning which I hesitated as I wanted to push the story to where it needed to be. The world-building is there but comes a bit later.

Solution: Slower introduction of side characters. I should have introduced Windsor Freeman earlier though. As for the setting, I think a few sentences about current affairs would do a trick.

Final word:

These aren’t all issues, I am sure there is plenty more but personally I feel like I disregarded too many important tenents of storytelling making the story harder to get into. Going forward, things will start to go epic: battles, proper powerups, powerhouses, powerful MC who at the same time struggles with personal demons and side characters that play clearer and more vital roles.

Do you think I should rewrite the beginning of the story and make Keynes Kid a bit more likeable or just focus on the story ahead? (I have a plan to start a Patreon so keeping the story hard to get into may be a fatal move here).

Rewriting the beginning won’t change the further chapters as Keynes is destined to end up where he needs to be. He cannot run away from his fate.

That should be all for this update.

Thank you for giving the story a shot 😊

It means a lot to me.