《Cheaters Always Win》24. Welcome to Your New Workplace!
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When monsters reach their second level milestone, the ones that gain sapient intelligence are called by many titles. The Named, Ego Beast, etc. Some understand that allying with kingdoms and other sapient species is beneficial, some still maintain a bloodthirsty and hostile attitude. This usually results in the monsters being listed for extermination, as their antagonistic attitude toward sapient beings result in dozens or even hundreds of deaths. Those that don't gain self-awareness are treated the same, but beast-tamers often hire adventuring parties for the chance to subdue them alive. The Named are several times more difficult to submit due to their threat level and sapient intelligence. There are few recorded instances of people being to submit Ego Beasts to their will, and the only known cases exist in Wisperium and Idil.
~ A Study on the Named by Sean Flamerock
Damien had spent his time in darkness.
He didn't know if it was purgatory, hell, or the afterlife. His education very rarely explored the philosophical and theoretical aspects of life after death. Only the vague discussion of Tartarus and Elysium remained in his mind. Alone in a realm of shadows, he ruminated upon his mistakes in life. Damien cried. He screamed. All the self-loathing, guilt, and shame that built up over time burst like a dam. The vampire's tears had dried out and he was left empty.
'Training, learning, all the time they invested in me. Useless in the end.' He thought somberly. 'Maybe if I was stronger I wouldn't have gotten them all killed.'
Damien blamed himself for his weakness. His mind replayed the situation over a dozen times, and he wished he had devoted more time to gaining strength so that the outcome of his story would've changed. The rational part of his mind argued that growing strong enough to change anything in such a short period was impossible, but he ignored it.
He thought back on his friends and family. The boy knew that he was well-loved and felt horrible for leaving them without a farewell. His thoughts drifted towards his new companion; the fool-hardy, sneaky, and annoying man that he called his friend. Chester Everheart. Although he knew the man was far from a good person, he didn't deserve death. His heart ached to remember how helpless he was to stop the Scrap Bots from finishing off his party even with his newfound powers.
'All that time I thought he'd get us killed with his antics...turns out it was me who did us all in.'
The vampire knew that death would be a painful fate for him. He was almost certain that the curly-headed criminal would be banished to the underworld.
As if the world heard his words, Chester popped into existence beside him. He looked dumbly at the man, who looked at the surroundings with uncertainty. The vampire tried to figure out why he and the man were in the same space, before coming to a solemn realization.
"I suppose I'm heading to the same place you are. I understand."
"Wai-what the hell are you talking about?"
"Can't you see? We're in the underworld. Probably going to get judged. Sorry about that, by the way." The boy grimaced and kept his head down, deciding to stand up.
"No. I meant why do you think I'd be going down below instead of heaven?"
"Elysium is only reserved for good people. Of course, you wouldn't make it there."
Chester immediately began strangling the boy. Damien fought back and kicked him in the groin, but the man didn't react at all. The dead illusionist quickly moved into an old wrestling move he had seen when he was younger; the Boston Crab.
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"Apologize! Fucking asshole! If there's a heaven and I'm not there, you'd be clearly in hell."
"No! Let me go, you bastard!" The vampire refused. Even though he was in great pain, there was a slight relief that he wouldn't be facing eternal damnation alone. He wondered what awaited him, as someone responsible for the death of him and his party.
After several minutes of fighting, Chester let him go and dropped a revelation on him.
"We're not dead. The robots kidnapped us and the one responsible for them all is waiting for you to wake up. Seems like he wants us to repay him for destroying his robots."
The vampire almost started crying from relief after finding out that they hadn't died. He asked about Christopher's wellbeing, as the boy explicitly remembered that he was gravely injured during combat. Chester replied that the man seemed okay, but all their equipment and weapons had been seized in real life.
"Also, I have a really important thing to tell you before we go up."
"Which is?"
"I'm...from a different world. I know you usually think I'm taking the piss out of you, but I'm for real this time. The reason why I'm telling you this now is that the guy there is from the same place I was."
Damien's surprise only lasted for a moment. His face was deep in thought before it relaxed and he nodded. "Oh, that explains things. I didn't factor in that you were an otherworlder. And the one making all these constructs is from the same world you were in as well?"
"Yeah, I don't have much of the details. Honestly, I'm surprised you took it so well. I thought you would've been angrier or something."
The vampire crossed his arms and raised his brow. "Why would I? it's not like it was anything that would've affected us that much. You're the same annoying idiot regardless whether you told me or not."
This opened up another round of bickering, but Chester realized that he was likely running out of time. "Any ideas for how we get the fuck out of this crazy guy's plan to enslave us?"
Damien scratched his head. "I don't know, maybe we can just talk things out? Seems like a genuine misunderstanding and we were kind of the invading force in all this. You both come from the same world so that would count for something, surely?"
"Yeah, but I'm not really happy with being trapped underground doing god knows wha-"
The link was forcefully disrupted and both of them woke up to reality. Damien still bounded in chains, stared at the robotic figure standing before him. They had placed their foot down on Chester and shook him awake, making him wheeze in surprise.
"Hello...?" Damien said uncertainly. He didn't know how to greet the mysterious otherworlder. They looked down on him and nodded their head in acknowledgment. It went behind him and snapped off the chains, speaking in a foreign language that Damien couldn't understand. He supposed it was the same one Chester knew, as the man looked up and responded in the same language. The boy watched as the illusionist went to the priest's side and laid down, closing his eyes.
"So. I suppose you have a lot of questions." The robot said. Its jaw moved rhythmically with every word and the vampire could spot signs of a human face inside. "I'm Elric. Pleased to meet you."
He was a lot kinder than the boy expected. He got up and shook the man's hand in greeting. It was cold to the touch. "Y-yes, likewise. I'm Damien Rose. I heard from my...party member that we were going to recompense you for the damage to your Scrap Bots?"
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Elric nodded. "Yes, we're currently under an extended conflict and we'll be using you to help with the war effort."
"Is there a way we can negotiate the terms? I'd like to plead our case." the boy quickly remembered all his political and diplomatic training that he had undergone. In a way, he thanked his father for putting him through the lessons. It would likely save them in this situation. "Our team was helping a village dealing with interference from your...constructs. They were hostile and forced our hand. Surely you could understand where we are coming from?"
The man was surprised by the boy's tact. Elric was visibly mulling it over, placing his hands under their metal helm in a thinking pose. "I suppose I should've set the foot soldiers to be less hostile to humanoids...That is an error on my part. However, the damage caused to my forces is far too severe to let go completely. Unfortunately, I'll need you all here while I replenish my army."
Damien looked down glumly. Elric hurried to placate the boy, feeling bad for the boy who was trying to come to a peaceful understanding. He preferred it compared to the abrasive and untrustworthy man he chatted with earlier. Something about the man's way of talking rubbed him the wrong way.
"Worry not. I'll consider a lighter consequence and perhaps even a reward for your help here. Your items will be returned, my subordinate is analyzing the equipment in the hopes of replicating the enchantments to empower our robots."
The robot-man internally sighed in relief upon seeing the boy light up. He resisted the urge to pat him on the head, watching as the illusionist and priest were roused from their slumber.
"Oh dear. I suppose you are Elric?"
"Correct. Come, I will see if I can get you all your items back."
The group of four exited the room and was met with a jarring sight. A stretch of metal debris and junk as far as the eye could see. Chester assumed it was at least 25 acres. Although everything looked haphazard, there was a certain structure to it that was likely caused by the presence of Elric. Robots of all varieties appeared, from the lesser robots, Scrap Bots, and drill machines that the group faced to ones they had never seen before. They all maintained the same patchwork design and he understood why. They were all likely created from the materials throughout the area.
"Welcome to the place I've called home for...six, seven years now? I stopped keeping count." Elric explained. He raised his hands before they returned to his sides. "If you see above, there's some sort of above. It's pretty far out, but fortunately, the sunlight still hits us."
They craned their necks and saw structures hanging far above in the sky. It was impossibly high up, but they all could see chains holding something far above. Chester's jaw fell upon realizing the true scale of what he was seeing. From where they were standing the chains looked large. But as he looked at the perimeter the man realized just how large and deep the hole they resided in truly was. He felt infinitesimally small.
'This is a mindfuck. What the hell? Are those things the size of buildings?!'
"Wait..." Damien narrowed his eyes as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "That's Welton! We're in-"
"May Pernatia hold me..." Christopher held his heart in distress. "We're in the dumping grounds of Welton's Furnace."
'Welton? Wasn't that our next stop after Stillwater? That's like- a day's away from where we were!'
"You know where we are? Good. I've seen a few dwarves 'round here. They usually get spooked and run away before I can talk to them so I made this thing to communicate." He raised the object he had been holding in his hand the whole time. It looked like a walkie-talkie as it vibrated with every word he spoke. "See? Sometimes there are voice recordings that fall here and I used them to try and make the translator even better. But usually, they're Aetherian or even Elvish. The system's quite useful in classifying them."
"Why didn't you just climb up? Sure it's high as hell but why on earth would you stay in a literal dump for years?"
"Ankhegs. They've been a pain in my ass since I woke up here. Every time I made something to climb up they'd rip it to pieces, and I wasn't trying to find out if I could survive a fall that far."
"Flying?" The priest suggested.
Just as he said that winged ankhegs took to the skies and began spraying liquid attacks at the robots below. Although they looked smaller than the ones they fought, each one looked like they had evolved precisely for flight and mobility. Serrated limbs with a flattened head that reduced air resistance, they looked quite threatening. Elric sighed and raised his hands. His eyes tracked their movement with ease and Chester could see his right eye was glowing slightly.
"Prime Mana Blast."
The gaps in Elric's segmented armor glowed with power and a missile of magic energy shot out and rocketed towards the insectoids. They couldn't even screech before it destroyed them in a magnificent explosion. In the instant it took to reach them several meters above, Damien saw the ankhegs try to avoid it but due to the sheer size of the attack they were unable to dodge. The robots continued, resuming their work like business as usual after seeing the threat neutralized.
'Yeah, some of them can fly. Not to mention I don't have the right...materials to initiate something to launch me that high up."
Chester put his hands in his head, realizing they were stuck in an underground junkyard filled with massive ant monsters. He breathed a few times to recollect himself. The entire time they'd been following the man and eventually ended up in front of a massive machine. It was humongous, easily the size of the smelter that they had upon the surface. Unlike the other robots in the area, it didn't look like it was made haphazardly. It was entirely uniform in material, with a greenish tint that Chester assumed to be mithril.
It was surrounded by machines and conveyor belts. The man didn't know how Elric scrounged up enough material to build an entire facility here but couldn't get a flying machine functioning down here. The conveyor belts held various materials, from destroyed robot scraps to ingots and ores.
"02! Are you done analyzing their items? Also, this is Android 02. The one responsible for making sure operations are running smoothly."
The massive construct moved to reveal a massive screen. It was hooked up to several other computers that showed several battles taking place. Ankhegs and robots embroiled in a constant battle for dominance. The blank screen turned on, displaying a '-_-' emoji along its 'face'.
"Mostly. The Attainium. Is quite. Valuable. I have learned new enchantments. Although the costs. Are substantial."
"Can you get them their stuff? Western exit's clogged up so I'll have them deployed ASAP."
The adventurers didn't know the lingo it was talking about. Chester knew what ASAP meant but didn't like the idea of being deployed anywhere. The man had distinctly sworn to dodge any sort of draft by any means, even though the thought of it happening was low since he was an undocumented immigrant.
Android 02 complied and its face went blank. Their items were neatly organized and deposited from a conveyor belt to the group's right. Chester saw his Attainium and made a joyful reunion, hugging the iridescent metal as it melded with his body.
"I missed you! Mwah!" The illusionist kissed it several times under the watchful eye of his party. Elric was creeped out, whereas Damien and Christopher simply shook their heads and put on their equipment. With their items returned, Chester double-checked the contents of his extra-dimensional bag to find out his ingots and bars were missing.
"Hey! Where's my mithril? Orichalcum? MY COLD IRON! Even my adamantium dagger! Why the hell am I the only one whose missing stuff?"
"They have been repurposed." Android 02 said emotionlessly. An arrow appeared on the screen as it pointed at one of the screens, showing a black and white image of robots being created. Chester fell to his knees, having lost all the major valuables he had. He was thankful that they had left his Kraken Blood and demon scroll intact. It appears as though they didn't understand what they were either.
"Shut it. You're lucky I even let you keep your Attainium. I'm giving you a set of armor for it, don't worry. Don't feel like having you killed when I need you to work."
Several more items came from the conveyor belt, a set of armor that perfectly complemented the man's figure. It was in the same design as the lesser robots they fought, made with mismatched metals that looked sturdy and more importantly, enhanced.
Mithril-Orichalcum Helmet
- Made with a mithril-orichalcum alloy, it boasts great hardiness and durability, with a minor resistance to magic.
- Reduces slashing and cutting damage greatly
- Favored Target (Ankheg): All damage received from the ankheg species is reduced.
Weight: 2kg
Mithril Breastplate
- Made with mithril, it boasts great hardiness and durability while also being very light.
- Reduces slashing and cutting damage greatly
- Favored Target (Ankheg): All damage received from the ankheg species is reduced.
Weight: 6kg
The rest of the ensemble, which included forearm guards and leggings, followed the same pattern. Crafted with mithril and orichalcum and given a peculiar enchantment that reduced the damage received from ankhegs. He put them on with minimal help, fastening them together and keeping them secure. He gave it a few cautious movements, practicing walking and jumping. It was much easier than he thought it was, having expected metal armor to be much more difficult to move in. He assumed that even his dreams weren't capable of fully simulating the feel of armor.
"Do you mind giving me some sort of hilt? I usually use my adamantium dagger as a hilt to form my weapons. But you know, you took it."
Elric gave him the hilt of a broken sword and the robot man pushed them into the next area. The group hesitantly bade farewell to the massive android which refocused its attention back to the screens and conveyor belts. They passed by a variety of interesting individuals, coming across the large Scrap Bot that had almost killed them previously. Damien and Christopher were on guard, while Chester stared dumbly at the robot. It was being attended to by the lesser automatons, seemingly going around and repairing the massive machine.
'Did that idiot get amnesia or something?' The vampire thought, watching as the Scrap Bot's three eyes stared at the group. Elric gave it a nod but froze when it spoke.
"Leader. Have you considered. The thought of. A union?"
The man's adamantium helmet turned to Chester and he whistled nervously. Elric stared at him silently, before returning his gaze to the automaton. "No. What did I tell you? That stuff is nonsense..."
It seemed to slump as it was rejected. Damien couldn't muster up any sympathy as it tried to kill him not too long ago, but he could agree it did seem despondent. It turned to Chester and the others.
"I apologize for. My actions. You are allies. In enlightening us. The meaning of. A proper work. Environment."
They all hesitantly returned the salute, except for Chester. He gave it an enthusiastic thumbs-up but quaked upon seeing Elric glower at him. Although he was average in stature, the power he possessed was enormous and everyone could tell. Even the casual attack against the flying ankhegs surpassed most of their damage capabilities.
The longer they walked, the more robots they encountered which seemingly asked for things such as mandated breaks and wages. Elric seemed to realize that Chester was the primary cause of their actions and glared at him even harder.
"Look what you did. I even checked their status, nothing's wrong with them! They weren't even supposed to be able to learn!"
He raised his hands in a placating manner. "I think you should look at yourself and realize how ridiculous you sound. You're blaming me for showing these robots that they deserve better? They're in an endless cycle of fighting and dying. Horrible circumstances in all honesty."
"You don't realize just how much I'm holding back from punching you right now."
Finally, they arrived at an area where the junkyard ended. Rock and dirt were the prominent features once more. It was clear to see that it had been cleared out as the tunnel was neat and organized. It looked like it could comfortably fit a truck, and the signs of a rail could be seen going into the darkness.
"Android 01's going to meet us here. They'll be your guide and teach you how to deal with ankhegs, keep you alive, all that. There's also some Scrap Bots to make sure the operation goes well, but you'll still need to be careful."
"Is there a reason why you're not accompanying us?" Christopher asked. He had been quiet for the most part, but his eyes reminded Chester of his own. The one that spotted a good opportunity. It was odd, and he wondered what the older blonde man was thinking.
"Another infestation is going on east of here. I'll need to deal with it before we lose access to the adamantium deposits nearby."
"Can I have some?"
Before Elric could slap Chester into oblivion, a figure approached from the darkness. The shadows of the tunnel quickly revealed a curvaceous figure. Long, sleek, metal legs made from mithril came into view. An automaton of feminine proportions with a face that looked both haunting and beautiful. The entire body was composed of segments extremely similar to Elric's own, and its face seemed to shift while simulating a raised brow. The group felt a mild sense of uncanniness as it floated between looking human and unnatural.
"Are these the intruders?" It asked in a clear, female voice.
"Mhm. They'll-What're you looking at?" Elric asked, noticing the reproachful stare that the illusionist was giving him. The robot-man felt oddly defensive.
Chester pointed at Android 01. Specifically, at her assets on the chest. "Care to explain the robot titties?"
"I don't need to explain anything."
"Look man, I understand that things get a lil' bit lonely. I started getting worked up whenever I saw a curvy tree. But a living sex robot?! Are you kidding me?"
Elric, flushed in embarrassment, sucker punched him in the stomach while the group watched silently. Damien wondered if Elric's mercy would run out due to Chester's antics.
'If that bastard gets us killed I will find a way to haunt him in the afterlife.'
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