told me he would be different, I didn't expect a big one. As usual, my assumption was wrong.

Today, we had all decided that we wanted to tour the part of Spain we were in. Dawson had run up at least an hour ago to tell Atlas that we were leaving in an hour. He had said he'd be down in a little bit and the rest of us dispersed to get changed and ready to go.

At around 12 o'clock, everyone was ready to go, but Atlas was nowhere to be seen. I glanced at Jude who had a nervous expression on his face and I frowned, walking over to him.

"He's not coming down is he?" I whispered.

He shook his head, "I talked to him last night, but I don't think he's getting better."

I nodded absentmindedly, "I'll check on him,"

As I walked away from him, Jude grabbed my hand, pulling me back, "I don't think you should. He's different. He'll—"

"Jude, it's okay. I'll be careful." I said and slipped my hand from his, making my way upstairs. As I climbed the steps, I cursed the stupid shirt I had decided to put on. It was a cropped blouse that looked cute, but the elastic around my waist kept riding up. It was long sleeved and made of satin, with a nice jade green color. With a huff, I yanked it down, hoping it would stay that way.

As I neared Atlas's room that was adjacent to mine, I stopped as I heard music booming from inside the room. I faltered a second before I raised my fist to the door, knocking loudly. Shuffling was heard from the other side of the door before Atlas spoke up, "What?!"

I flinched at his harsh tone before I swung the door open. I held my breath at the scene in front of me. Some song I wasn't familiar with was playing in the background, it was definitely a Kendrick Lamar song. The desk that used to occupy the books he packed with him was now strewn all over the floor. His bed was a mess of covers and clothes and the room was humid like he left a hot shower going with the bathroom door open.

I let out a small gasp as I noticed Atlas sitting outside on the balcony. He had a cigarette between his lips and was dropping his head backward onto the wall, banging it repeatedly with each hit. I shut the door behind me and made my way over to him.

"Atlas?" I asked as I got closer. He looked up at me for a split second before he sneered and looked away. I frowned a little and wondered if now would be a good time to run out of the room.

I walked closer and sat down on my knees in front of him. His hair was disheveled mess of dark hair, his pink lips were dry from the pile of cigarettes he'd smoked. His eye bags were deeper than they were last night, dark and purple. He was shirtless and a sheen of sweat coated his body as sweat also dripped from his forehead.

"What's going on?" I asked, reaching out for the boy I had talked to yesterday, but with my luck, he wasn't there. This was a different Atlas I was talking to.

"What's it matter to you, Eden?" He spat, his venomous eyes now focusing on me. I flinched slightly at the look he was giving me and tried not get hurt at his tone.

"Just leave me the fuck alone," He breathed, taking in another drag from his cigarette before dropping it on the ashtray next to him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked, the anger and frustration with him finally building up inside me. "Tell me what the hell is going on with you."

"Lay off me for fuck's sake." He yelled before he stood up and walked back into his room. I watched his back move as he stepped over to his bed, plopping down onto it. The song ended and switched to Mount Everest by Labrinth.

I got up and followed him, "We're leaving right now."

He glared at me, "I don't care."

"Holy shit, Atlas. Can you stop being such an asshole? I probably don't know what the hell you're going through, but can you just stop being so god damn pessimistic?"

He got up and glared at me as he took step after step towards me. I didn't dare back up from him as he stood in front of me, too close to comfort. His blue, bloodshot eyes focused on me with some hardship and he took a breath, "Get the hell out,"

I took in a breath, "No. Now tell me what the fuck is going on?"

He turned around, dropping his head into his hands and letting out a groan, "Get the fuck out, Eden! Get out!"

I crossed my arms and made my way towards him, now standing in front of him. He glared at me, "Get a fucking hint, bitch! I don't want you here!"

I balled my hands into fists in anger as I glared at him. I was going to ignore what he just called me and gave him one more chance.

"You can make this all go away if you just come with us. You haven't fucking had a proper conversation with Dawson or Leah or Julia in fucking days!"

He snapped his head to me, "Do you need me to say it again? Get the fuck out!"

My face flushed red in anger and before I knew it, I raised my hand up and slapped him on the face. His head whipped to the side from the force and my hand stung in pain. Atlas glared at me and he grabbed my wrist in his hand. I winced as his grip on my wrist tightened.

"Do it again," He said with so much venom in his words. I feared that if I slapped him again, he'd do something much worse to me.

I stepped closer to him, making him back up slightly, "Get out of your fucking head for once, Atlas. I'll be here when you need me, but I won't take shit like this from you again."

I snatched my hand from his grip and made my way over to his door. As I swung open the door, he groaned to himself, "Fucking bitch."

I turned to him once more, my glare evident and deadly, "Fuck you, Atlas."

I walked out and slammed the door behind me, angrily making my way down stairs. Four pair of eyes fell on me as I stormed past them, "He's not fucking coming."

After that interaction with Atlas, I was completely over him. I was over all of his bullshit, over his stupid eyes and smile, over his broken-record brain, and over my infatuation with him. I was done with it.

This declaration flew out the window when we returned home. We had toured at least a dozen places. We toured the beaches, some museums, the beautiful gardens, and the amazing landmarks. Then we had some dinner at a restaurant and I had some mean quesadillas.

When we got home, it was quiet. We all went up to our respective rooms and as I made my way upstairs, Atlas's door opened and he quietly made his way past me, not holding my gaze. I turned around, "Where are you going?"

He took in a small breath, "I'll be back in an hour."

I frowned as I watched him walk down the stairs and walk out the front door. He didn't seem as angry as he was a few hours ago. He seemed a little mellow, like his usual self. With a sigh, I walked into my room ready to jump into my pajamas and get to bed. Even though it was only seven o'clock, I was dead tired.

As I slipped into my pajamas, a knock sounded on my door. Leah walked in before I could tell her to come in. She smiled widely, "Hey, sexy. We're playing board games downstairs in a little bit."

"I'll only play if there's Twister involved." I said to which Leah smirked.

"Duh, there's Twister, Monopoly, and we're playing Truth or dare after." She smiled.

I nodded, but frowned after, "Please don't tell me we're getting drunk."

She laughed, "Baby, baby, of course we are."

I groaned and followed her downstairs as she told me about how many Spanish guys asked for her number today. I laughed and asked her what Dawson thought about that.

"He was so jealous and his face got all red. It was the funniest thing ever!" Leah laughed and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah, it's all funny until he starts flirting with random and hot Spanish girls."

She rolled her eyes, "And I'll make sure each and every one of those girls never see their mama again."

I let out a loud laugh as we finally made our way to the living room. Sitting in the floor around the coffee table were Julia, Jude, and Dawson.

Julia was laughing very hard at something Dawson had said and Jude was adding to her uncontrollable laughter.

"Yeah, then he snuck into her house the next day and covered her room in it." Jude said, holding back a laugh.

"What's so funny?" Leah asked, skipping over to the group and plopping down in between Julia and Dawson. I took a seat to the right of Jude.

"Were talking about the time when Dawson was in sixth grade and got mad at his neighbor for borrowing the mayonnaise and not bringing it back. So first, he printed a bunch of missing signs of the mayonnaise bottle and posted it everywhere and all over her house." Jude explained, laughing in between each break.

Julia was snickering every few seconds as he retold the story. A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips as Jude continued.

"Then when his neighbor— Mrs. Daley— didn't bother returning it, he snuck into her house and covered her room in it and wrote a note."

"What did the note say?" Leah asked, glancing at Dawson. He laughed.

"The mayonnaise-king eats old women like you for breakfast, baby girl." He said.

At that, Julia, Leah, and I all broke out in laughter. Jude laughed as he added a few details.

"When his mom found out, she made him apologize. But Dawson's ego got in the way and sent Atlas to do it instead. She's so old, she couldn't tell it was Atlas."

We all laughed and exchanged stories from our childhood as we set up our first game of Monopoly.

As I looked around to all the people laughing and talking around me, I realized that I was glad for every single one of them. Leah and Julia have been with me through thick and thin and I'm so grateful for them both. I don't know where I'd be without them.

Jude and Dawson, even though I've only known them for about two weeks, have been such nice people to have around. Even though all Dawson ever did was tease me, he made me forget about all the bad things that were happening in the moment. And Jude was a really amazing person to talk to. It was like he really understood you.

We played every game we could find. We played one round of Monopoly. — Leah won after she left each of us bankrupt and in a foul mood.— We played dozens of rounds of Twister, Bop It, and Life. After about a few hours of playing around and each of us were a little tipsy (except me, I disliked being drunk), we heard the front door open.

All of us quieted down, except for Julia who was hiccuping every few seconds and Leah who was giggling along with her. Jude was staring at the ingredients list of a coke bottle laying idly on the table, his eyes wide and unfocused. Next to him, Dawson was barely able to keep his head up as he tried not to fall asleep. I glanced at the time that read 11:46 and frowned.

Behind us, footsteps made their way towards us. I turned around and watched as Atlas made his way to the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water. He muttered something to himself and made his way back to the hallway and upstairs to his room.

He didn't look angry like this morning. Right now, he looked dead tired and in physical pain. I looked around and decided that I'd follow him. As I stood to my full height, Leah giggled, "Eden, come and dance with me!"

I frowned at her, "How about later? I just gotta—"

"Shit?" She asked if going to shit was what I had to do. A small laugh left my lips and I nodded along with her, "Sure, yeah."

Before she could say anything else, I turned around and walked past the kitchen and down the hallway. It was dark, but the light coming from the living room illuminated my path upstairs. With each tentative step I took, my hands pressed against the wall, I tried to pick up any noise coming from his room. And with every step, I heard nothing.

When I reached the landing, I noticed that the only light was coming from the thin space under Atlas's door. I took in a deep breath as I stood in front of his door. Earlier, I had said some things and he said somethings. We were both in the wrong.

I knocked on the door three short knocks and waited for him to answer. When the door swung open, the scared, nervous beating in my chest turned into an erratic, on-edge beating. I tried to focus on the reason I came here but couldn't.

Atlas stood in front of me his hair damp and a shade darker from the shower I assumed he took. The sweet smell of his cologne enveloped the space I was standing in, a mere two feet from him. As my eyes trailed down his bare chest, glistening softly in the warm light from his room, I felt my breath hitch. A droplet of water that trailed down his neck and chest snapped me back to reality, my eyes focusing onto his blue and alert ones.

"You—" I started to say, but stopped as my eyes focused on the new black ink clawing it's way down his left shoulder over red and agitated skin. Before I had time to think through what I was doing, I raised my hand and trailed my finger over the ink.

Starting on his shoulder was the origin point of what looked to be a bolt of lightning. Stretching from the point were the ends of a lightning bolt, making its way down his arm. As my finger stopped at the end of the tattoo, my eyes met Atlas's. He took a breath and took my hand in his for a second before he dropped it down next to me.

"You we're gone much longer than an hour." I noted.

Atlas stared at me for a while before he blinked, finally remembering that I asked him a question. He shook his head slightly.

"Uh, sorry about this morning. I'm still not okay, but I'm better." He breathed, running his hand through his hair nervously. I nodded, smiling softly as we stood there for a few seconds.

Suddenly, I watched Atlas turn around and rifle around through the nightstand next to his bed. He then brought his hand to his mouth and threw back his head, quickly taking in mouthfuls of water after. He then took a seat on his bed, dropping his head in his hand and bouncing his leg up and down.

I stepped in, softly closing the door behind me. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket, but ignored it. I took a seat on the floor in front of Atlas, gently putting my hand on his knee. He flinched slightly, but looked up, his blue eyes locking with mine.

"Do you feel better?" I whispered, even though I feared I already knew the answer to my question. I watched as he took a deep breath, gently tucking his hands under his legs.

"Um, uh— Better than last night. Mom said that she was shipping something over that would help with the..." He said, trailing off in the end, seemingly unsure of what it was he had contracted.

I nodded and looked down at my hand on his knee. Why did I do that? I quickly removed my hand, gently laying them down on my thighs. A moment passed and, again, unsure of himself, Atlas raised his hand to my cheek and brushed his fingers against them. His touch was soft and quiet as a whisper as if he was scared that I'd crumble between his fingers.

His fingertips danced against my cheekbone and down to my jaw. He took in a small breath, "I, uh, didn't mean what I said this morning. You know that, right?"

I nodded, "You don't have to apologize. I said some things too."

His eyes flickered across my face from feature to feature before they met my eyes again, "I—"

He didn't finish what he wanted to say because his eyes lost focus for a second, sleep wanting to wash over him at a given notice. His body shook for a moment and just as fast as it came, his body went still again.

"You're tired and I'm keeping you up," I started, silently trying to understand what was going on with him. But I knew, I knew if I tried to figure it out, I'd be sitting there a hundred years later and had gone absolutely no where.

I stood up and backed away from him, his hand falling from my face. I ran my hand through my hair and turned to walk back out of the room. Atlas's voice stopped me as I wrapped my hand around the doorknob.

"Stop," He whispered, his voice softly raspy and barely over a whisper. I dropped my hand from the knob and turned around. He had straightened up and his eyes were silently begging me for something he couldn't bring himself to say. I took in a breath, unsure of what was going to happen.

"Stay," He breathed, the pleading in his voice evident, "Please,"

I felt my body relax, but my mind spin at speeds I was unable to keep up with. He wanted me to stay.

I tried not to think about the dreams that would come with spending a night with Atlas. The fear, the inability to breathe, the reliving of the past... And even though, I pushed those thoughts away. I pushed those thoughts away...

"Okay," I breathed and took the couple of steps back to the spot in front of him and held out my hand. He took my hand, hesitantly getting up. Once he was on his feet, he stumbled slightly but quickly regained his footing. He then let go of my hand and made his way to bed.

I walked over to the balcony and closed the door, gently pulling the curtains closed after. Biting my lip nervously, I made my way towards the bed and sat on the edge. Behind me, Atlas took in a small breath.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I mentally rid my mind of all the horrid thoughts that were bound to come on a young night like this. I shoved the fear aside and shut off the light, quickly crawling under the covers.

The coolness of the sheets enveloping my body, calmed my nerves, even if it was just for a second. I took in a wavering breath, but held it as I felt Atlas move towards me.

His hand moved over me and tucked my hair behind my ear, "You'll be okay, Eden."

I let out the breath I was holding and frowned, "Yeah,"

It was silent for a moment before I spoke again, "I'm sorry, I just—"

"I know," He cut me off, "And I'm sorry that I do this to you, but I... I need you." He said. But quickly he added, "I need this."

I nodded and turned on my side, my face meeting his, his blue eyes bright, still, in the softness of the dark. As our eyes locked, he frowned sadly, "It's selfish and I'm sorry—"

"Atlas?" I cut him off to which he stopped talking. "Hmm?" He responded with, silently waiting for me to tell him that it was alright. And to me it was because...

"I wouldn't do anything differently if I were you," I said. He let out a small breath and I watched as his eyes closed, his features relaxing as sleep began to overcome him. I reached my hand out and brushed his hair back, admiring the flawlessness that was him.

"Good night, firecracker." He whispered.

As he said those words, I had realized something. I had realized that I was comfortable with being alone. I was comfortable with not owing someone the love they signed up for. But now...

"Good night, Atlas." I breathed.

This moment in time made me question whether I was ever comfortable with "alone" in the first place.

-

I hope you guys liked this chapter. thank you all so so much for 15K, i am eternally grateful. im so happy with how far we've come and how many people actually enjoy this book. thank you. as a celebration i guess, comment something you'd wanna see in the book and ill try and incorporate the scene.

ALSO DONT SKIP BCUZ I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY: