"Lindsay, I thought I told you to sit down," Jenny said.

"I promise I am okay," I said.

My back and feet ached from being nine months pregnant. I was ready to give birth any day. Jenny had been refusing to let me do any chores for the past few days. I have been not listening to her and continue to help her cook.

Jenny laughed and shook her head as I chopped the carrots. She put a hand on my lower back and on top of my stomach. During this pregnancy, she has loved touching my belly.

Anxiety has not let itself go from my bones for the past nine months. I do not think that I could handle another daughter. My heart would physically break if that happened. I still thought about Bonnie every day. I am glad there was no calendar I could find in this house. If I knew what day would have been her first birthday, I would have spent all day in bed crying.

The kitchen door opened, and Noah and Gabe walked in. Gabe sighed when he saw me. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt as he walked toward Jenny and me. He put his hand below Jenny's on my belly.

"I thought you were supposed to be resting," Gabe said.

"Why is everyone treating me like I am made of glass?" I asked.

"Because you are going to go into labor soon," Gabe said.

"You did not rest enough during your first pregnancy," Noah said. "That's why you had a girl."

I bit down on my lip and set the knife down. I did not want another girl. I did not believe what Noah said, but I did not want a reason for them to blame me if I had another girl.

"Go sit down," Gabe said.

"Okay," I said.

He gave me a kiss before walking over with me to the dining room. He made sure that I stayed sitting and then went upstairs to wash up before dinner. I craned my neck to watch Jenny finish cooking dinner. Noah stayed by her side with his hand on her hip.

Taylor and Dylan walked into the dining room and sat across from me. I would still catch Taylor staring at my chest, especially since it has gotten bigger due to the pregnancy. Dylan had grown into a teenager and acne had spread across his skin.

They usually did not talk to me and instead talked to each other. I smiled when I saw Gabe walk back into the dining room. He pulled out his chair next to me and sat down before rubbing my belly. I placed my hand over his and we intertwined our fingers.

We have not talked about Bonnie since the day that Gabe and I were punished. I wondered if he thought about her as much as I did. I wondered if he had any guilt over killing her. I just had to believe that he did it to keep me safe. It was the only thing that kept me sane.

"Have you thought about any names?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"No," I said. "I think I will know his name when I see him."

Gabe brushed the back of his knuckles along my cheek. He smiled and I leaned forward to kiss him.

"It will be a boy," he said. "I actually had a dream last night."

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah, about the baby. It was a little boy."

I squeezed his hand. "I really hope so."

Jenny walked into the dining room with dinner. Noah was behind her carrying the remaining bowls. He sat at the head of the table and looked at Gabe and I's hands on my stomach. Underneath Gabe's sweater that I was wearing, the scars Noah gave me were stretched and distorted but you could still make out the name. He kept his eyes on my belly as we ate dinner.

I stood when Jenny cleared the plates from the table. Gabe grabbed my arm.

"You better be heading up to bed," he said.

"I was going to help," I said.

He shook his head and tightened his grip. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I am going upstairs to bed," I said.

"Don't have an attitude with me," Gabe said.

"I'm sorry."

Gabe let go of my arm and headed toward the bedroom. I grabbed Gabe's pajamas that I had been sleeping in and went down the hall to the bedroom. I turned on the shower. I stuck my hand under the water. For the past three years I always hoped the water would warm more than lukewarm, but it never happened. I was about to step into the shower when I heard the door open. Gabe slid into the room with a smile.

"I thought I would join you," he said.

"I would like that," I said.

Gabe was quick to get out of his clothes. I stepped under the cold stream of water. Gabe came up behind me. I leaned back into him and closed my eyes as he cradled my belly with his hands. He buried his face in my neck and trailed kisses down to my shoulder. A wide smile was spread across my lips.

"I love you," he said. "You're so beautiful."

"I am so fat," I said with a giggle.

"I love seeing you pregnant."

Gabe took care of me as he washed my body with soap and then my hair with shampoo. I was disappointed when Gabe turned the water off. He helped me out of the shower and wrapped me up in one of the towels. I got up on my toes to kiss him. My stomach caused an awkward bump between us.

We rushed down the hall wearing towels to our bedroom. We crawled naked into the bed, pulled the blankets up high, and Gabe kept his hand tight around my waist.

I was so content that I fell asleep with a smile on my face.