"Kyle! Butters! What the fuck are you doing here already?" I ask.

"I don't know, we just came here because Butters said so," Kyle says.

Kenny runs up to us from wherever he was.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, looking at both Kyle and Butters.

"Sorry, I thought we would come here," Butters says.

"It's fine. I'm just surprised," Kenny says.

Kyle looks like he is about to say something... only for someone to yell over him.

"Marsh! McCormick!"

Both of us turn to mr. Suckavittu. To be honest, I'm pretty sure it's said Suck a vittu, but he keeps insisting that the A is said like an I and that it's apparently said vitta, not vittu. To be honest, i'm not sure, but I'm just guessing that what he is saying is absolute bullshit. All the teachers agree with me anyway.

"The first game is soon. We have longer practice and because of a special case, we will have practice on Wednesday," he says.

"Ah fuck," Kenny lets out, clearly pissed.

"Hey, no worry. Butters? You're still coming on Wednesday. Right?" Kyle asks.

"I don't know, if I can," Butters says.

"Dad wanted me home on Wednesday. I might be getting grounded," he says.

"What about Friday? Come on, guys. That's the last day for baking. Or well, Saturday, but Butters and I won't be there, we have to set the party up," Kyle says.

"We can bake on Friday. If we need more, Stan and I will take care of it," Kenny says.

"Oh. You're going to the school party?" Mr. Suckavittu asks, interested.

"No. We have to basically work as a bakery," I say.

"Think about it positively," Butters says.

"What positive is there in having to go in at 6 am to school on a fucking Sunday?" Kenny asks.

"You don't have to be home?" Kyle tries.

"He's going to mine this weekend," I say.

"Dad said that you two can come as well," I say.

"Oh. Awesome," Butters says.

Kyle nods, looking at his clock.

"Are we going to mine or not?" He asks.

"Well... that was the idea," I say.

"Then we're in a hurry," Kyle says.

"Do you have to always burst the bubble?" Kenny asks.

"Always? Sorry that I'm fucking responsible, unlike you, you fucking asshole," Kyle says.

Kenny opens his mouth to say something.

"No! Don't you dare! You hurt me," Kyle says, trying to hold back a laugh.

He's obviously being overdramatic, he would never get hurt by something that Kenny says.

"I can hurt you, yes," Kenny says, with his all too fucking familiar flirting voice.

"What?" Butters asks, confused.

Kyle, before Kenny can say anything, puts hands on Kenny's mouth.

"No. Don't you dare, we need to keep him like he is," Kyle says.

Kenny looks up at Kyle with a face of 'really?'

"If you lick my hand, I will actually hurt you," Kyle says.

"Oh fuck you!" Kyle screams.

He wipes his hand on his shirt.

"Are you gonna hurt me then?" Kenny asks.

"Kinky little shit," Kyle mutters.

"I think you should say that about yourself," Kenny says.

"Wait. How the fuck would you know?" Kyle asks.

"Kyle, you have a problem with swearing," I say.

"Studies have linked swearing to intelligence. Although only, if the person uses many different swear words," Kyle says.

"Fuck shit Satan Hell," Kenny starts, quickly listing off all the swear words I have ever known.

I look over to notice Kyle covering Butters' ears.

"You done?" Kyle asks.

Kenny nods and Kyle let's go of Butters ears.

"Fuck shit-," Kenny starts again, quicker than before.

"You do realise we're not allowed to swear in school?" Butters asks.

"Who the fuck hasn't broken that rule?" I ask.

"Um...," Butters says, thinking.

"If you say that word one more time-," Kyle starts.

"Daddy," Kenny says.

"Nooooo," I say.

"Kenny, no, please don't," Butters says.

"What? I did go on the worse side with m-," Kenny starts.

This time I put my hand over his mouth.

"No daddy anywhere near me," I say.

Kenny rolls his eyes and I get my hand off him.

"But why? Are you kink shaming me?" Kenny asks.

"Yes, I am. I have trauma with that word, thank you," I say.

"What? How do you have trauma with it?" Kenny asks.

"When you walk in on your dad and mom fucking, it's forever burned in your mind. They didn't even think of closing the goddamn door. We were out of South Park and I had to go into the bathroom. I had to listen to my parents having sex for twenty minutes and then walk into it," I say.

"When?" Kyle asks.

"When I was 11, I think. I didn't even understand sex back then," I say.

"What does saying daddy have to do with that?" Kenny asks.

"I thought you knew about sex," Kyle says.

"Wha-? Ooooh," Kenny says.

Butters looks surprisingly understanding of the situation.

"I'm so sorry, Stan," he says.

"I understand, why Douchebag was so traumatised by walking in on both their parents," I say.

"He saw far worse," Kenny says.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"You didn't know? I won't spoil it for you then, you must have not experienced it yet," Kenny says.

He is smiling, looking like he's thinking 'Look at me, I'm so much fucking better than you.'

"Well, we missed the bus," Kyle says, looking at his watch.

"Why did you not tell us?" I ask.

"What did I tell you minutes ago, maybe that we were in a hurry? Don't say shit about me not telling you, you just somehow never listen to me," Kyle says

"I do," Butters says.

"I know," Kyle says.

"But we were having fun anyway," I say.

"Kenny, no," Kyle says.

"Am I a dog now?" Kenny asks.

"No, you're a duck," Kyle says.

I laugh, slightly.

"Why?" Kenny asks.

"Male ducks are just as obsessed with sex as you are," Kyle says.