《Down And Out Is Where You Oughta Stay (Patrochilles AU)》Chapter 8

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I lay in bed, letting the sound of quiet music and rain pattering against my window fill my ears. The oppressive heat which should have ended much earlier has finally moved on, and now it actually feels like September. I actually prefer cold weather, and fall is also my favourite time of year because of all the pretty orange leaves, so I'm happy about that.

Briseis knocks on my door gently. I glance at her and she hands me a phone.

"Hello?" I say into it.

"Patroclus." Achilles says my name like he's savouring every syllable. I blocked Achilles on my cell phone, so now he's moved onto my landline. Briseis walks away as I glare at the wall.

"What do you want?" I growl, sick of trying to ignore him. He just won't give up.

"Patroclus, please, I'm sorry. You- you don't have to forgive me, I just- I need you to tutor me again. I'm failing all my classes, and- please?" He practically begs.

Of course this is just about tutoring. Of course. We haven't spoken for almost two weeks, and still the most he wants to say to me is that he needs me in order to do well in school so he can stay on his precious sprinting team and maybe get his old friends back. Over the few days we haven't spoken, I've realised something. I don't just hate Achilles because he left me all those years ago. I hate him because I know he'll do it again, and that I won't even be able to be mad for a good reason this time, because all I am to him is a tutor. I don't want to be just a tutor. I've come to terms that I want to be more to Achilles. I want us to actually be friends. And- though I will never admit it aloud- maybe even something more than friends.

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I slam that thought deep down inside me the moment is surfaces. I will not let myself think that way. I can't.

"Fine." I sigh, resignation in my voice. "I'll tutor you."

"How does tomorrow sound?" Achilles asks. Tomorrow is Thursday. Briseis will be cheerleading after school. Usually I wait for her, reading in the school library, which closes at about the same time she finishes cheerleading. I think for a moment, then decide Briseis will be fine by herself for one evening. I will tutor Achilles for a few hours, then go home. My dad won't even notice I was gone.

"Tomorrow will be fine." I tell Achilles.

"Fantastic!" He shouts, so loud I move the phone away from my ear. "I'll see you tomorrow!" And just like that, he hangs up, leaving me wondering why I keep letting him do this to me. I'm never going to gain anything from it, yet I let him use me anyway. I'm a mess.

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