There honestly couldn't have been better timing for the release of '10 Things I Hate About You' by Leah Kate. With the court date rapidly approaching, my hatred for you only bubbles and boils hotter. I've been treated horribly by you to only move on to the sweetest guy I've ever met. I was trapped in literal darkness with you for a year and a half, with you never wanting to go out and enjoy the weather with me except to smoke your cigarettes, catch Pokemon, or illegally set off dynamite and fireworks with you on the fourth of July. The song relates to you in so many ways. So with the mood just right, let's break it down by reason.

You only think about yourself and things that would benefit you, you never considered my wants and needs. How thoughtful were the items you bought me? I told you my interests, my likes, my dislikes, and favorites of everything. I made a list to make it easier for you to remember, too.

You literally were jaded from the start. I seriously don't think there was ever a day where you truly loved me and didn't just use me for money or transport. You always focused on your stupid games.

And seriously, I know you dropped out of high school, but who doesn't know maggots turn into flies? How dumb do you have to be?

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Honestly, what guy doesn't brag about their penis like it's the greatest gift? However, as the saying goes, size doesn't matter, it's the way you use it. Hint, you never used it right which brings up the next line...

I hate to shatter your already fragile ego, but I faked every single one. It made you happy to think that I did, so I did. The five minute count down before my Zoom class started was exhilarating. Though, I'm not really impressed by having three minutes by the time we were done. Just saying. Don't wake me up while I'm dead asleep just to give me maybe five minutes on a good night of pathetic sex.

Okay damn, after we broke up, I received so many compliments about how my attitude changed and how I looked a lot healthier and less stressed. You were literally a toxin poisoning my system and I was too sick to realize my changes. Then the nicotine you hooked me on for how long? Glad I was able to quit that cold turkey.

You always went right to your sister after we fought, or I told you something that was deemed 'juicy' by you. You couldn't keep a secret for the life of you! Whenever I asked you to do our laundry, grab something for dinner, or even pay me back the money you owe me, you said you would. Did you? Nope.

I understand that your mother died and your father up and left you right after, but damn. You talk more smack about your mother than you talk about your dad's manipulative new girlfriend, so you have twice the mommy issues! Sorry but that's pathetic.

You broke up with me the day after our one year and eight month anniversary. While it wasn't two years we dated, we knew each other for longer. I would pay to have one of those memory erasing pens from Men In Black right about now.

You were so sweet in the start. The first red flag should have been your filthy house. Trash, poop, piss, the horrific smell, the hoard, the diapers, the dirty dishes, where do I even start??? Don't even get me started on your room. Dirty clothes piled everywhere, bottles full of piss because you were too lazy to use the toilet, overflowing trash cans, bottles and take-out containers everywhere, and the brown/green carpet should have chased me away, but I was blinded by your initial charm.

Seriously, your carpet was bright blueish green when we replaced your bedframe. Years of spit, piss, dog poop, spills, your cum, and god knows what else tarnished and ruined your carpet. Who the fuck even jizzes on their carpet? Tissues and towels I understand. Socks are a little strange but typical, but straight onto your carpet because I wasn't on birth control yet? Come on.

You lost your charm when you quit your job six months into our relationship. I should have ended it then and I wouldn't be here. After the breakup, I realized that I fell out of love with you a long time ago. I genuinely believe that I stayed around to care for and raise the baby. He was my joy and he wasn't even mine. I will miss that little bastard until the day I die. Fuck you for ripping him away from me.

I seriously hate the fact that I ever fell in love with you.