《A Sirius Matter [Harmione]》4. Feelings and Trust

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After they'd spent a few hours with Hermione's parents (eating dinner, watching a movie), Harry and Hermione walked upstairs to Harry's room, where he'd carried the new trunk when they got back. Together, they started putting Harry's clothes in the dresser and closet as appropriate.

Hermione said, "You really impressed dad tonight."

Harry looked confused. "Impressed him? How? I got you home late."

"And you took responsibility," said Hermione, "He'll never admit it, but that impressed him. He expected you to make up an excuse like I took too long shopping or something. Instead, you just said that it was your fault and not to punish me."

"Well," said Harry, "It was my fault. Anyway, what did you think about Grimmauld Place?"

"It could really use a new decorator," she said grinning, "but I think it wouldn't take more than a few hours to turn one of the rooms into a dueling room so we can practice defensive magic. I think we at least made it safe for muggles, as long as they don't mess with any objects that might be cursed, so we can tell them about it tomorrow. I don't think they'll have time to visit the house then, but they will want to visit, if only for a proper demonstration of magic. They don't ever actually get the chance to see what I'm learning."

"I was wondering why you didn't tell them about it today," said Harry.

"I was afraid they'd insist on joining us, or else forbid us to go to a potentially dangerous house. Well, I think you'll want to put these away yourself," said Hermione with a smirk, indicating his new underwear, the only clothes now left in his trunk. He quickly grabbed them and threw them in a drawer, anxious to get them out of sight. While he was doing that, she started pulling out the new books and laying them on his bed in several small piles.

"What are you doing?" asked Harry.

"I'm organizing the books based off of the topics. Here are advanced charms books. Over there are defensive magic books, including one on defending your mind. The magical branch is called occlumency. It sounds fascinating. There are wizards who use what's called legilimency to read people's thoughts, and occlumency is the defense against it. We need to make sure no one can read the prophecy or anything about our training out of our minds. Over there are books on the dark arts, which reminds me, we may want to visit Knockturn Alley at some point later on if we need to learn more about the dark arts. Hopefully we won't. She pointed out several other types of books, until she reached the last four. "...and this book, 'Unlocking Your Magical Potential' is about specific magical exercises that are supposed to help you learn to use every bit of magic inside you."

"What does that mean? Don't we already know how to use our magic?"

"Not entirely. Most wizards and witches don't ever use their full potential. It's kind of like the way we don't use most of our brain. We slowly learn to use more as our magical education continues, but then we stop learning. Most Hogwarts graduates don't use half of their potential. Your spells are supposed to have greater potency if you put more power into them, and you'll be able to perform spells you wouldn't have been able to before. This book shows ways to focus your mind more so that you channel more of your magic. This next book is on wordless and wandless magic."

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"What?" said Harry, "We need a wand to do magic."

"No we don't," said Hermione. "Everybody does wandless wordless magic as children, and it's called accidental magic. Last year you did an impressive, albeit illegal, demonstration of wandless, wordless magic on your aunt. Wands help us to focus our magic, but aren't necessary. I honestly wonder why we bother with wands. It may be harder to learn magic without them, but it would make us better wizards. I remember my first accidental magic. I was seven years old. I was in a library with my mum reading, and she took a book from me, claiming it was too advanced for me to understand. I was really upset. She put it back on the shelf and started walking back toward me. The book came off the shelf by itself and floated back to my table." Hermione smiled. "I did my first summoning charm, and it was without words or a wand. Now this year Professor Flitwick is going to teach us the proper wand movement and incantation, which by the way is, 'Accio book.' Anyway, I don't understand why they get us so dependant on wands."

"So they can snap them," said Harry thoughtfully.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"Think about it. When the Ministry of Magic thought Hagrid had opened the Chamber of Secrets, they snapped his wand to prevent him from doing magic. If the Ministry arrests someone, how do they disarm them?"

"They take their wands," said Hermione, with a look of comprehension. "It's all about having a means to control magical people. If you think you need a wand, and they take that from you, you feel helpless."

"The trouble is, that's what the bad guys will want to do, too."

"I think we need to make learning wandless magic a priority. According to the introduction, it's very difficult to master doing your first intentional wandless magic at will, but once you've learned the focus necessary, you can learn to do almost any spell. The book starts by making you focus enough to do nonverbal magic with a wand, and then tries to teach you to do it without. There are forty chapters, and it recommends studying and practicing one chapter per week."

"Ok," said Harry. "We've just got to remember not to let anyone else know about whatever extra skills we learn. What's the next book about?"

"Magical methods of transportation. It teaches apparition, making portkeys, putting fireplaces on the floo network, even how to charm brooms and other things like carpets to fly. These skills could come in handy when planning an escape, rescue, or raid."

"Isn't some of that illegal?" asked Harry.

"Yes," said Hermione.

"Then why does Flourish and Blotts sell a book on it?"

"It clearly states at the beginning that the spells listed are not to be used for illegal purposes; that it is only for educational purposes. That covers the writer, publisher, and store if one of their customers is caught."

"What's this last book about?"

"Human transfiguration," said Hermione proudly.

"You mean becoming animagi, like Sirius."

"Yes," said Hermione, "It says you can become animagi within a year of starting this book. I think that being able to transform would be a great advantage if we were attacked."

"So do I," said Harry, "That's a good idea. We have to keep it secret, though. Unregistered. I don't want any potential enemy to know about it."

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"Agreed."

"So," said Harry, "How does our schedule look?"

Hermione took out a muggle legal pad and made a chart for the week, putting everything between 6 a.m. and 12 p.m. into hour blocks. She wrote exercise for the first hour. "My mum has an exercise video I think we should try using. If we don't like that, we'll find something else. The next block (7-8) was showering, breakfast, and travel to Grimmauld place. The next hour (8-9) was reading the day's subject (advanced charms, defensive magic, magic potential, wordless-wandless, animagi, magical travel, and occlumency on Sunday through Saturday respectively), and then the next hour (9-10) was practicing what they read. The next hour (10-11) was to practice dueling so that they'd develop battle instinct. Then they'd come back home.

Harry said, "I wonder if we could put your house on the floo network to save travel time."

"That would be a good idea. I think I'll read about that tonight. I wonder if there are laws that allow or prevent a muggleborn's home to be on the floo network. Anyway, there's one other thing I thought we might do, Harry. I'd like us to enroll in a muggle self-defense class."

Harry smiled. "You mean learn karate?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes. Once the summer's over, we could probably continue learning from a book, but I think we'll need a background of actual practice. We'll have to ask mum and dad about it. I don't suppose they could stop you, but they most certainly could stop me. I say tomorrow morning we wake up at six and use that exercise video, and then we try to make breakfast to soften them up..."

"I can make breakfast," said Harry, "The Dursleys made sure of that."

"...and then we ask them if we can practice magic at Sirius' place. We don't need to discuss the threat of Voldemort for that. We're just studying."

"What about the exercise and karate?" asked Harry.

"Very simple," said Hermione. "We'll simply tell them that Hogwarts doesn't offer physical education, but we both decided that we want to be in good shape. And we'd also like to learn some self-defense, just in case we run into some problem. You're famous in our world, so that means that there may be some crazy people out there who might try something."

"Ok, Hermione," said Harry. "Once we have their permission to start, we should talk to Ron."

"Ok. I guess we should mail Sirius his mother now, shouldn't we?"

"I guess so," said Harry, as he took the legal pad from Hermione and turned to a blank page. Using a muggle pen, he wrote,

Then he called, "Hedwig," who immediately flew to his wrist. Harry tied the paper, along with the rolled up shrunk canvas, to her leg, and she flew off into the night.

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That morning, they did exactly what they said, getting up at six. They found the exercise video adequate for now. It had them doing sit-ups, push-ups, and several stretches and aerobic exercises that left them worn out. Hermione took the first shower while Harry looked around the kitchen to figure out what to cook for breakfast. He got everything he would need ready so that he could start cooking once he was out of the shower. As soon as Hermione came back downstairs, he went to his room, grabbed some clothes, took a quick shower, and then went back downstairs to cook omelets and sausage. As he was just finishing up, Mr. and Mrs. Granger came downstairs.

"Good morning, Adam, Marissa," said Harry.

"Good morning, Harry," said Marissa. "Adam told me you were a good cook, but you didn't have to do this," she said as he prepared the plates while Hermione got the silverware and drinks ready.

"I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here," said Harry, as he set a plate on the table in front of Mrs. Granger. "I really do appreciate it."

"It's our pleasure, Harry," said Adam. "We've got to go to work. What are your plans for the day?"

"Actually daddy," said Hermione, "that's something we'd like to talk to you about. Harry got a letter from his godfather that says that he has a house in London that's protected so that underage magic can't be detected in there, and we'd like to go over there for a few hours every day to practice spells from next year's classes, if it's alright with you, that is."

"Hm," said Adam, "Alone here or alone there. How many hours a day did you have in mind?"

"Just 8 a.m. until 11 every day," answered Harry.

Adam said, "That should be fine. I think Marissa and I would like to go there for a demonstration on our next free day. We've never actually seen Hermione perform a spell."

"We'll arrange a special demonstration for you. We'd also like to visit Ron Weasley today so we can invite him to join us tomorrow if he'd like."

"That sounds fine," said Marissa, "Just be back by 5."

"Er, there's one other thing," said Hermione, "We've been talking, and, as I told you before, Harry's famous in our world."

"Yes," said Adam.

"He wanted to sign up for a self defense class so that he could defend himself in case some whacko comes after him, and, er, I'd like to join him."

"Honey," said Mr. Granger, "I don't really think that it's nec..."

"...necessary for a young lady to be able to defend herself?" interrupted Mrs. Granger. "I disagree. I think it would be an excellent idea."

"Fine," said Adam, realizing that he'd never win an argument about this. As scary as that idea was, he knew that even the muggle world wasn't safe. "Just don't go looking for trouble once you know how to defend yourself."

"Thanks, daddy," said Hermione, throwing her arms around her father.

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Once the parents were gone, Hermione said, "I guess we'd better catch the Knight Bus if we want to keep our schedule."

"So, did you get the chance to check if you get your house on the floo network?" asked Harry.

"I did and we can't. The normal way is asking the ministry to do it, but they won't put a muggle house on the floo network except temporarily for emergencies. The book has a spell for making a private floo network, but it would need to be performed here," she said with a neutral face.

"Oh, well," said Harry, "Then the bus it is."

"Actually," said Hermione, now beaming, "I found a better way!"

"What's that?"

"A portkey!" she said.

"I know that's one of the types of travel mentioned in that book, but what is a portkey."

"Any object that has been charmed to transport you magically from one place to another. There are several kinds. One can be set to leave at a specific time. Another can be activated by touch, and another by saying an incantation while holding it. There are a few other kinds, but the third one is my favorite. You can carry it with you and not worry about it taking you when you're not ready to go. It's a complex spell, but I think I can make a few at Grimmauld Place to take us in between this house and there. I'm making two because I think we should each carry a portkey with us at all times in case we need to escape."

"You really are a genius!" said Harry.

She blushed and said, "Only if it works."

They grabbed the books they'd need that day and rode the Knight Bus to Sirius' house.

While Harry picked out and arranged a room that they could practice magic in, Hermione started working on the portkeys. She'd brought a few of her necklaces with her. One was silver with a small heart, and the other was simply a gold necklace with nothing on it. She decided that a necklace would be easiest to keep on you at all times so that you only have to say the proper words instead of digging into your pocket for it and then saying the words. She decided that Harry would wear the gold, and she'd wear the silver. "The trick," she thought to herself, "is to come up with words we won't accidentally say and then disappear in the middle of a conversation." She decided to use short phrases.

Harry finished preparing the room, and then sat down to begin reading. He'd read a few pages, and then his thoughts would drift toward Hermione. If he wasn't thinking about how smart she was, he was thinking about how helpful she was. If it wasn't that, it was how much he trusted her. If it wasn't that, it was how much he enjoyed being with her, and how much he liked holding her hand. If it wasn't that, it was how nice she looked in muggle clothes.

Harry startled at that idea. "When did I start thinking she looked nice?" he asked himself. "Probably when she showed up at my door," he answered. "Actually," he said to himself, "I think I started feeling like this when we traveled back in time together a week ago." He smiled to himself, "Am I starting to feel, 'that way,' about her?" He supposed it wasn't unreasonable. She was certainly a nice girl.

"I wonder if she feels anything like that toward me?" he wondered. He then realized that if she did, she'd probably hide it the way he wanted to, and hope that he'd make a move. He was the male after all. He then thought, "What if I approach her and it ruins our friendship?" Then a logical part of him that actually sounded like the girl in question said, "It won't ruin your friendship. Even if she doesn't like you like that, she'll probably be flattered. It might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but as long as you're ready to accept her answer and don't try to push her, it'll be fine. If you were brave enough to face Voldemort twice, why are you afraid to face Hermione?"

He still didn't know what he'd do, so that logical voice said, "If you don't do anything about it, you're going to go out of your mind before the summer's over! You're already talking to yourself." Harry put his hands on his head as though he were about to pull out his hair and let out a small scream.

"What's wrong?" came Hermione's voice from across the room. He quickly turned to see her holding a gold necklace.

"Er," he said, looking at the ground, "nothing."

"Then why do you want to pull your hair out?" she asked with a grin. He felt his heart start beating faster as she approached him. "Were you thinking about the prophecy?"

"No," he answered, trying to look at anything but her.

"Then what are you thinking about?" she asked, now looking a bit worried.

Harry looked down at the floor in silence, hoping she'd go away so that his heart would stop beating so fast.

"Come on Harry," she said, "look at me and answer my question."

He looked up into her brown eyes and muttered, "You."

"What was that?" she asked, apparently not hearing him.

"You, alright, I'm thinking about you," he said, making absolutely sure he wasn't yelling.

"Me?" she asked, a small smile starting to form at the corners of her mouth, "What about me?"

"Er," he said, thinking that he might as well just say it. "I've been thinking about how smart, helpful, and wonderful you are, and how pretty you look in that outfit, and wondering if you, er, maybe, kind of, liked me, a little." He started out fast, but slowed down as his face got redder and redder. "I'd, er, understand if you don't, I just had to say it before I go crazy."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Could he really mean what she thinks he means? "Er, are you trying to say that you, you fancy me?"

At this point Harry was no longer capable of speech, as he prepared for rejection. How could he be so stupid to think she might fancy him? He closed his eyes and silently nodded his head, resigned to the rejection that he was destined for. He felt like Sirius must have, when he was locked in the tower, awaiting the dementor's kiss. "Ok," he admitted to himself, "that's a bit overly dramatic, but I know I'm not gonna like this."

"And you want to know if I fancy you?" Hermione asked, her face smiling brightly as her cheeks reddened.

"Here it comes," thought Harry, whose eyes were still tightly shut.

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