"Move your ass!," I yelled at Olivia. "It does not need to be on top of me right now!" It had been a week since I arrived and we've become inseparable ever since.

"Leave my ass alone, bitch!," she yelled back. She didn't even bother to move so I pinched her thigh making her let out a small yell. She glared at me as I gave her a small shrug. At least she's off me. We sat there chuckling for a few moments at the realisation that Olivia had fallen off my bed.

Suddenly, a scream made its way out of my throat. It felt like my body was burning. "What's wrong?," she asked me, panicked as she put her hand on my arm.

Fuck! That's making it worse!

I let out an even louder blood curdling scream causing her to move her hand away almost as if I had burned her. "Shit I'm sorry! I think you're in heat." I can't fucking breath. Within minutes, I became sweaty as my body burned in agony. "He's on his way!" That gave me a little bit of comfort. Knowing that my mate cares enough to try to stop the pain is enough for me.

"You can go," a deep husky voice said as I was curled up in a small ball on the bed. Liv nodded and rushed out. Without a word, he came and scooped me up in his arms. He sat on my bed and held me for what seemed like forever even though it was only a couple of minutes.

"Why?," I asked exhausted as I looked up at him. He didn't bother to reply. I knew that he was trying to control himself since I could feel something hard poking into my back as I laid across his lap.

Having a heat is to ensure that more offspring were being born. Since I found my mate more than a week ago and I'm still unmarked and unmated, it lets all the other unmated wolves know by my scent.

A couple of hours later, we both fell asleep in my bed. A sharp stabbing pain in my side made me gasp awake. I laid still trying to control my breathing as Grayson, my mate, slept beside me. Whether he was actually sleeping or not is something I don't really care about. Just that fact that he cared enough to not leave me in pain warms my heart and to be honest I think we've taken a small little baby step forward.

"You can go now," I said to him, breathing through the pain, as he rolled over and away from me before sitting up. He didn't reply. "Thank you for being here," I told him, trying to stop my voice from wavering. He didn't say a word as he ran a hand through his hair. With the pain slowly subsiding, I sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"You don't want anything to do with me. Why?," I asked him genuinely curious. He ignored me once again. "Why?," I repeated more firmly this time. "I deserve an answer, Alpha." I watched as he clenched his fist and jaw before walking out of my room and slamming the door behind him, clearly pissed off. My room suddenly felt cold as his presence leaving left me feeling empty.

I can't believe I just met the dude and he's already affecting me.

I stayed in my room for days. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't do anything. All I did was whimper in pain. It was all I could do. "He left us," my wolf said confused as she tried to get her head around the fact that he's not here with us.

"I told you ages ago that he didn't want me," I said to her defeatedly. "It was so obvious aswell."

"It was his wolf," she said randomly.

"What?," I asked her.

"His wolf was talking to me last night. The human is rejecting the bond. If it wasn't for his wolf, we would've been screaming in pain that night he held us. He wasn't going to come. His wolf made him," she informed me.

"I guess it's just me that's unwanted then," I sighed out before putting up my walls, practically blocking her.

He was gonna let me suffer.

Today was the last day of my heat. Apparently, they last around a week. I regret not listening to my mom when she'd tell me about these things. I didn't bother staying awake as I let my eyes close and envelope me in the darkness I so missed.

Dream

"Stop. Please," I pleaded weakly. He just gave me an evil smirk before dragging a knife across my arm. I closed my eyes tightly and thought about all the happy things I had. I let out a loud scream as he stabbed the knife in my thigh.

End of Dream

I woke up sweaty and panting like I had just ran a marathon. Why? Why did I have that nightmare? I took a couple of deep breaths before I sorted myself out. I didn't want breakfast. Even if I did have it, I wouldn't be able to keep it down. I decided to call my mom knowing that she'd be able to calm me down.

"Hey mom!," I said to her as she answered the phone.

"Hey hunny!," she replied as happy as always. "How's everything? Are you okay? Is he looking after you okay?"

"Everything fine, mom!," I exclaimed as she threw hundreds of questions at me.

"Oh. Okay! That's good. So what's wrong, then?," she asked concerned.

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong," I shrugged.

"Alana," she warned me. "I pushed you out of me after carrying you for months. I know when something's wrong."

"Okay," I sighed. "I had that dream again."

"But you haven't had one in ages," she tried to understand.

"I don't know," I said before she interrupted.

"I think you should come home," she suggested.

"I'll think about it," I said as I bit my lip.

Grayson probably wouldn't let me. "Anyways, I gotta go. Someone wants me," I lied.

"Alright. Stay safe. I love you, my little monster," my mom said lovingly before she hung up. I laid on my bed as I held my phone to my chest.

"Alana?," Olivia said softly as she knocked on my door. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone especially after that nightmare I had. I turned away from the door. She opens it slowly before coming to sit beside me. "Are you okay?," she asked gently.

"I'm just not in a good mood today," I sighed out.

"Alright. I've made you some pancakes. Come down and eat them at least. You haven't eaten for days."

I could go even longer without food.

"I'm fine but thank you," I said as I closed my eyes. She let out a sigh before leaving me in complete and utter silence. The door shut behind her and I let out all the frustration and anger I was feeling by crying. I gripped my hair as I curled into a sobbing ball.

Why am I always feeling like this? I can't explain it but I feel like I'm being sucked into the darkness and there's no way out. Why is it always me that bad shit happens to? I just need to close my eyes and think about anything happy. I need to think about anything other than my train wreck of a life.