The transition to winter was less than subtle and it made Sigrid regret not changing into a pair of pants, or at least a flow skirt that would cover her legs. Richard had taken his own sweater off a couple seconds ago and offered it to her, which she didn't hesitate to accept. He smelled of fresh grass and spearmint, two things Sigrid didn't think would fit too kindly together but strangely did as she hid her hands in the sleeves and got swallowed by the cashmere. Her usual smell of mixed berries was wondrous with the spearmint.

He looked over at her, he wasn't much taller but he always bought his sweaters a size larger to grow into them. They continued to walk, the girl at a slightly faster pace as if she knew where she was going. He was shivering as his teeth clenched, hugging himself. "We've got to find somewhere comfortable to sit, I'm sure the grass it wet."

"I think we should continue walking, I'll give you your sweater back if you'd like. I'm not much cold anymore," she mumbled, lying through her teeth because the goosebumps on her legs were getting harsher.

"There's a cave nearby, it's much warmer inside, we could share the sweater maybe?"

Sigrid protested in her head, "It's yours Richard."

"I don't want you to freeze to death before I get to tell you anything that been going on."

He stopped walking suddenly, noticing the outcast of someone walking around in the cave and then laughed nervously. Sigrid turned to him in curiosity, her hair swishing as the wind overcame the trees. The leaves raddled as she looked down at her feet and decided to walk to his side, "Thinking about it, there was a bench pretty close to campus we could've gone to, but Anderson also has a bench out here somewhere. Want to find it with me? You looked at the cave like it was trying to recruit you into the army."

Richard laughed, "Sure."

Sigrid grabbed his hand and led him deeper into the woods, walking passed the cave Charlie was in. It was now cold for him, his cloak covered him completely as he looked at the wall with a blank expression. He heard the shifting outside, but he knew no one was going to show up to the meeting. He laughed through his nose and his tears continued to fall down his cheeks. He swore he could hear her talking in the distance, he swore he could feel the heat of her body next to him. Comforting.

Instead he wiped his nose and took in how lonely he was, he sighed and decided to exit the cave. There was no one around by the time he surfaced except a bunny eating a leaf. He looked at it with furrowed eyebrows, its nose bounced up and down in a sniffle.

"When we were younger, Charlie and I used to play in the park and feed the ducks. He's always been kind of mean, he'd steal my bread so the ducks could like him more, I always cried and complained to my mom. It was a little cycle you see, I tattled, he pinched me. He's one of those people with strong attitudes," he looked around for the bench but was unsuccessful. "His mom is like that too, Mr. Dalton for the most part gets stomped over because he can't really handle her. Theresa got married into the family, did you know that? She was dirt poor before meeting Colson and now she wants to be some hero and get girls out of 'poor situations'."

Sigrid shook her head, turning both of them to the left because she found the bench hidden behind a bedsheet. She walked faster as the bench came into perfect view for both of them, "Yeah, she lived in Lexington and her father and Mr. Dalton's father knew each other through friends. He married her off when she turned fourteen to afford electricity, and Theresa immediately got pregnant. Charlie has an older brother he hasn't told you about, he hasn't told anyone really. And Theresa trusted me enough not to tell anyone. She couldn't have any more kids after Charlie, she always wanted a girl. In fact Charlie's original name was Charlotte."

"Remind me never to spill any secrets to you."

"It's part of the story, Sigrid. If you want to tell me something, you surely can. I'm not a vending machine for secrets. If I need to remind you, Theresa is the one screwing you over right now. Both of you, you and Charlie. She already married off Will to Catrina."

"Is what they have not enough?"

"Theresa is greedy when it comes to money. It might not seem like it because she so carelessly decided to put you into Welton but it was all part of a bigger picture. Everything is part of a bigger picture to her, you need to understand that. To beat her at her own game is to evaluate how her brain is wired, and you Sigrid, are getting your ass kicked right now."

They both sat down on the bench, Sigrid took off the sweater to give it back, he said a thankful prayer before sliding it back on, "This all sounds like a big conspiracy."

"She tried to marry him to Paisley Greer over the summer, he seemed to really like her and then I told him about the plan that Theresa had. If you really don't believe me ask him about her. Come on, don't go thinking just because he's hyper-fixating on you that his mother won't easily exchange you for someone else when you don't 'suit' him anymore. He's got options and he becomes interested overwhelmingly fast, he'll find another girl, tell his mother about her and next thing you know Theresa has a completely new plan without you in it. Maybe that plan comes in a form of a false apology letter, or a girl...named Marvette."

dead poets meeting was moved to Gerard's dorm, the boys assumed both Richard and Charlie were oblivious to this fact and decided to sleep in after the disasters the day brought to the table. Gerard had invited Peter Benjamin, realizing the boy didn't have much friends and that he desperately needed some. Peter had a knack for poetry like his sister did and was equally as much as a painter, but the thing that set them apart was the messages behind every swift of their wrists. Sigrid's wrote like she was being chased, Peter willingly let himself be caught. He was what demons feared, for he shook their hand instead of trying to hide.

What will the demon do when you do not let it feed off your emotions?

How will the demon get its satisfaction if you do not let it patronize you?

Peter looked over at Gerard, the only familiar person in the room besides Steven who helped him with most of his homework. Neil and Todd, as always disgustingly sweet sat by the window and counted the droplets racing to the bottom of the glass. Knox sat on Steven's bed, contemplating what he'd say.

"I want to say thank you," the dissonance of voices came to a halt as they all looked at him. Peter's knee bounced on the bed as he immediately felt like prey, he looked down at his twiddling thumbs. "I didn't think I'd like to hear other people share their poetry rather than read it on a paper. It really set a different perspective of things. And I think, if you'd have me, I'd be really happy to join."

Neil was very persistent in the society being closed-off, he had protested when Gerard asked Peter to come along to the meeting. Neil didn't know the way Sigrid had screamed at him to go away, he didn't know everything going on in the other boy's life, all he knew was that Sigrid didn't want him around. She was happy to be around others most of the time, it must've meant he was bad.

"Don't feel pressured to of course," Peter noticed the expression on Neil's face before he swiped his nose: "I just wanted to let you all know I really liked the meeting...and for the first time in a long time I wish I could remember what happens in my life."

"How's that been by the way?" Knox spoke up, remembering all the times Sigrid complained about loaning something to Peter only for him to forget.

"Better," Peter smiled brightly, peeling his eyes away from Neil and focusing on Knox, "Part of me thinks I was just playing dumb most of the time so I wouldn't have that commitment of remembering for others. Remembering anniversaries, remembering my birthday so I wouldn't turn older in my head...it was my way of closing off. I eventually started to believe it because of all the drugs. You know? You probably don't, I don't want to assume that-," he cut himself off with another nervous laugh and looking down at his hands, "Long story short, I'm trying to get clean again, I decided that the reason Sigrid doesn't want me around is because I walk around with a huge cloud of negativity over my head. We've had our shared deal of problems since our mom died. I get it, she tried bringing her head up and I keep on dragging her down to the water. I've got to change."

Gerard patted his friends back with an approving smile, causing Peter to smile even wider. "Today's the first day I've been sober in four years. I'm promising myself to never take drugs ever again, Keating's been helping me stand back up. I went to go talk to him before he let me go to the kitchen to make Sigrid some lasagna. Wow, I can't believe I'm ranting so much. You guys can't imagine how happy I am to finally feel like I'm part of something not looking at it from afar."

"If it's any comfort, Hall, I'd happily accept you into the group," Todd moved forward to take Peter's hand. Gerard put his hand on Peter's shoulder, "Yeah, me too."

The mixture to the same resulted answer spread throughout the room except for Neil, who kept his mouth shut, unsure. It made Peter feel self-conscious, he was really the only boy he made special attempts to satisfy. And it all just made Neil dislike him more.

"Is Neil the...leader?" He asked no one in particular, some shook their head but Neil was the only one to nod. The other boys looked at him in confusion.

"What? I basically raised it back from the dead, I don't see anything wrong in considering myself the leader."

"Neil, it's called the dead poets society. Not the dead 'poet' society. It's a collective, we're all the leader."

Steven said loudly enough for Peter to hear as he looked at the brown-haired boy with raised eyebrows, "I for one vote Peter in. What about you guys?" he looked around the room.

Gerard ruffled Peter's hair was a huge grin, "I already bought this man a cloak."

The butterflies in Peter's stomach started to bat aggressively out of pure glee. Neil looked over at Knox, who ducked his head down and didn't respond. "I already voted," Todd moved away from Neil and sat down next to Peter, Neil sighed in annoyance.

"Knox?" Peter looked over with hopeful eyes, silence. "I'll make you guys a promise."

Neil raised an eyebrow, Peter let out a shaking sigh before walking over to a table and getting a piece of paper with a pen, "Gerard, you get this since I'm with you the most, if I ever break this promise you'll be the first to know and you have my signature on a paper to call me out on it. Gerard could report this and you guys could all kick me out for being a liar."

"Here," he finished scribbling and showed the paper around, he laughed nervously, "damnit," he didn't mean it in the sense that he didn't want to go along with what he was doing but because he knew now he could remember and he couldn't use any more excuses. "Here I promise to not touch anything that could hurt me anymore. Not drugs, not alcohol, not that stupid gun my dad has in his office desk. To be completely in the state of mind that I need to be to attend these meetings. I promise to live life fully without sedatives or stimulants. I want to live life for what it is, not live life with the devil putting his pitchfork to my back whenever he pleases," he looked over at Neil. "I want to be free. And being here with you all, I know completely what that means."

you think you could swing some false narrative right over my head and I'm going to kneel down to you like you've done me any service?"

Charlie recognized the voice and followed it, he knew it wasn't his brightest idea to go where he wasn't wanted--if he were wanted he would've been on that bench with her-- but such a long time not hearing her voice and seeing her next to him brought up a guard of protective he sought impossible. Richard couldn't stop playing with the crevice of his pants, trying to straighten out the wrinkle in his knee as she spoke, "You expect me to believe that this is all some grand plan orchestrated by some crazy mother to get her son back into her overbearing arms? Boy, you had me fooled."

"It's exactly what it is, if you smell rotten it is rotten," he said cooly, wrinkling his pant leg to straighten again.

"Marvette? Couldn't you have thought of a better name? I would've believed some Emma Belle, Kaitlynn Marie, Ophelia, Hazel or for god's sake a Sakari...but Marvette. She sounds like Captain America's secret daughter. Please!" she laughed coldly.

"Says the one named Sigrid," he retorted, jokingly. "What are you? The off-brand version of Sigmund Freud? You're not hearing me here. Is it because she's gotten enough to your head that you don't want to believe a word I say? Is there a smidge of hope in that pretty little head of yours that maybe the whole situation got misinterpreted and that as soon as those bruises go away you could go back into Charlie's arms? Do you think everything is going to be okay? Because I'll tell you this, they picked you out. They could've gone for Knox's sister, they could've gone for mine, they could've decided to give Paisley a second chance instead of attempting with you. But what happened those last couple of seconds your dad was completely alone?"

"Don't drag my father in this!" she stood up angrily, face almost as red as her hair. Charlie hid behind a tree but peered over, nearly gawking when Sigrid slapped Richard across the face, "I know who that man is, and he's done his fair share of wicked things but I refuse to believe that he'd ever sell me off. He's got the decency to at least look at me like I'm human. We've worked way to hard to build things, and even with the silence I know that he does it out of tough love."

"Saying it's tough love is the first sign that it wasn't love at all. Look at all the missing spaces between your narrative of your father and what I know. What father leaves their child somewhere that's miles away from their house. What father doesn't ask questions about some school that supposedly wants to pay for his daughters tuition. What kind of father just lets their child leave without any second questions and doesn't talk to them" he gritted, "Tell me! Tell me what kind of father does that!"

"Richard, I hope you rot in hell, I truly do. You think that just because she whispers something in your ear its one-hundred percent true, take into account that she could have been lying to you the way she's been lying to me the entire time. I never dare to question my father. And you shouldn't talk about him without knowing anything prior to whatever you and Theresa plot about," she attempted to hit him again but he grabbed her by the wrist.

"Tomorrow," he whispered as he got close to her face. "She's going to walk through that door with a bunch of other girls and Nolan's going to say that girls are finally allowed to attend Welton. Tomorrow we're all going to be in the main room and he's going to introduce the girls. Marvette is going to find you in the crowd, and she's going to smile at you," a smirk fell upon his lips from confident before he let out a sigh, "And you're going to feel that same punch in the stomach you felt when Theresa told you she thought she found the right one but was mistaken."

He pulled himself forward as his other hand cupped her cheek, she gasped in disgust when she felt his lips touch her ear. It was unintentional as he whispered. Charlie's hand fisted at his side, knuckles throbbing. "The moment she walks down that stage and sits down is the moment you fall to the floor, curl up, and die. And I'm telling you this now so you know what to expect. Hold him closer if you love him so much, Marvette stops at nothing. I should know, she's even closer to Theresa than I am."

Richard let go of her hand and looked at her like he was fighting off something more meaningful, the words were caught in his throat. "Sit next to me tomorrow, will you?"

"Why?"

Richard's breathe hitched, as his eyes trailed off and he noticed a certain person's shadow.

"Just do."

He left her out in the cold, his sweater wrapped around his body impossibly tighter as he walked back to campus. She watched his figure become blurry, she sighed uneasily then put a strand of her behind her ear. She wiped off her hands on her thighs and sighed, "I'm really starting to regret this."

Her hands were steadily shaking as she thought of Richard being correct. What if there was a new group of girls waiting to get into Welton? What if tomorrow when she woke up and had to go to the hallway she had to stand in a straight line with the rest of the boys to welcome new girls in? What if she was exchangeable?

Charlie sighed, grabbing onto the side of the tree and he shivered when he felt its rough texture. Wood burnt in his imagination as Sigrid burned holes into the trees on the opposite side of where he was. It was silent. He felt a deep sense of guilt by listening to her self-talk but he figured he'd gather the courage to walk up to her. Maybe he could pretend he had been looking for her the entire time instead of trying to camouflage with the forest. His decisions were calculated. She was far too oblivious.

He walked backwards and made sure he was far enough to start screaming out to her without feeling too close to her ears. His footsteps were nothing else but a sound of nature. For one moment, all the animals stopped running in the darkness, the leaves stopped falling from the trees, and the world around her completely came to a halt.

clink clink clink.

Then the screams. Her hand came over her mouth as she let out a loud gasp, not expecting to hear anyone out so late at night. Especially Charlie. She attempted to gather her things but she hadn't taken anything out with her, she put the bedsheet back on the bench before walking backwards into a tree.

"Sigrid, I talked to my mother," he screamed, "I decided to finally stand up to her, the boys told me you'd probably be out here."

She quickly got behind the tree and looked over to where his shadow was with hallow breaths. She felt the wind form into a hand behind her, suffocating her as she watched him. Something felt awfully wrong, she just didn't know what. She swore that if she saw him smile it was like his mother was there.

"Sigrid? I want to say I'm sorry. I should've banged down the door when I realized what she'd do to you. It's all my fault, and I deserve all the screaming you've got to do to my face."

And for the first time in her entire life, Sigrid decided to run instead of coming face-to-face with the thing she feared the most.

Did she really fear Charlie?

She was pouring water on dead flowers.

. All they needed was a good night's sleep and they didn't get it at all. Richard was right. Sleep deprived and unready for the day, Sigrid stood next to Knox in a single file line as they watched the girls walk into Welton. It must have not been expected because the boys all seemed confused, even Charlie who Sigrid had assumed already knew about his mother's arrangements.