Chapter 13.

Sunflower, Vol. 6 by Harry Styles

"Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight!" Harry whisper-sang, though it was a little bit loud. I held in my laugh just barely and cupped my hand over his left cheek, touching the one airpod in his ear. "Everyone is going to hear you." It was 3 in the morning, we were rummaging through the kitchen looking for something to eat. He kept on dancing around me, trying to get me to join him.

His messed up curls kept falling in his face, his hair was getting a bit long and crazier by the second with the way he was dancing. "Sunflower, my sunflower!"

...

A couple hours before that we were sitting with Mitch and Sara, Jeffrey had actually taken a short trip to go see his family, considering they'd been gone for so long. Harry was trying to pick out a movie to watch, and I sat down next to him on the smaller of two couches. He smiled at me as I did, pulling out a couple of options to show me.

"H, have you ever shown Darby Medicine?" Sarah asked, and Mitch choked on his beer laughing."Medicine?" I turned to Harry in total confusion, understanding just then that it was probably a song. Harry glared at Mitch with a grin.

"I volunteer to play it," Sarah pulled out her phone, and Harry smacked his palm to his forehead and fell back on the couch. "Is this an unreleased?" I asked, still just as clueless. "Yes and you better prepare yourself for this one." Mitch chuckled. Harry ruffled his hair out of his face, "It's one we only do on tour. Don't know much else to say about it, Mitch."

Medicine by Harry Styles

"It's freaky." Mitch mumbled in a warning tone. The guitar started and right off I got the tone. I didn't think anything of it at the time but it was a studio version.

My hands flew up to my mouth when he started singing.

"H-" I cackled and he nodded, looking at me dead in the eye. "Mhm" he mumbled, grinning. I watched him cross his legs and fiddle with his rings. I don't think he was nervous though. "Give me that adrenaline... feelin' it out, feelin' it out," Sarah and Mitch knew it by heart.

"And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you--" He sang in the lower octave, pointing his finger when he stopped singing. "Wait wait woah, what was that lyric? You didn't finish it." He smiled at my curiosity but answered with, "That's something you kinda have to... figure out yourself."

My goodness the song drove me wild, it was incredible. I flopped back on the couch alongside Harry as he turned his head towards me, all I knew to do was laugh. The interlude with the sick guitars came and Harry grabbed me and pulled me into his arms whilst screaming, 'Duh, Duh Duh Duh Duh-" Along with the electrics. I aired guitar-ed along.

The song was eventually over and I was still shocked to the core. Of course I've heard Kiwi and I've heard Only Angel but this was just a little bit extremely superior. Or so I thought it was over, I nearly jumped when it recapitulated.

"The song is great but what in the world was that word you kept leaving out."

"Actually there's two. Technically there's three, if you count 'it'." Harry was being very obviously avoidant on the matter. But the way he did it was just fine with me.

"It's 'Tasted'. The first one." Mitch said, getting up from the couch and making his way over to the kitchen.

"Tasted! Aha!" I looked over excitedly, "And when I sleep I'm gonna... dream of how you tasted. Wonderful." I laughed. Harry subtly laughed along.

"The second one is 'ride it'," Harry exposed. I covered my mouth with my hand again. I kept doing that recently, the reaction was starting to annoy me. I watched his reaction and it was somewhere in between embarrassed and another thing I couldn't quite pinpoint. He just laughed at me, letting his head droop down and his lips rest on my shoulder.

...

Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac

"You know you look pretty in this light." Harry kissed my cheek as he walked past me looking in the fridge. "I can't say that I know that but thank you." I blushed, grabbing yet another juice box. "You're welcome!" He sang.

My heart still fluttered but it felt much more stable that whatever it was I begged to feel before. I appreciated that because this was natural and the last kid felt so forced to even talk to. It was disgusting for me to refer back to him so often. But it was all that I had.

"Are you ever going to go to sleep?" I asked playfully, closing the fridge. He leaned on the island counter behind me with a couple oreos in hand and another in his mouth.

"You look tired. Pretty but also pretty tired." I stabbed the straw into the box and started to drink it. He admired me for a little while, though I could only giggle because I had changed into some of Sarah's pajama shorts and a sweatshirt I assumed was H's that had 'Treat People With Kindness' embroidered onto it. It smelled like him, so it felt like a safe assumption.

He really was pretty. "I got really lucky going to that florist, huh." I said, he grabbed my hand as if he wanted to dance, but ultimately just pulled me into his chest. "I feel like, if I remember correctly, it was me who stole all the luck. You bought the flower."

"What a lovely story to tell people." I joked. He perked up.

"You bought me a daisy, I found you at Anna's cafe, you impulsively asked me to come over, we went to the gardens, museum, etc etc, and now... we're...?" He seemed to ask with his eyes, I couldn't answer with anything but my own. I was really just confused about how to go about it. My expression changed at his guestered attempt, I nodded my head slowly. I consciously payed attention to my breathing, keeping it slowed. I wasn't about to do this over one commitment question, that was just dumb. Stop it. Darby stop, you're faking it, I thought.

"Now we're best friends and whatever happens, happens. I understand, Darbs." He spoke softly, but his tone was confident. I didn't need to express my thoughts for him to know them, though I knew I needed to.

"I don't want to be so eager. We could risk taking it too fast, I don't want... you to feel overwhelmed." I tried to say it simply, but the words were much too complicated for even me to understand. It didn't present much success.

He almost let it go completely, in fear of me being the one overwhelmed. But the last thing I remember him humming in my ear later on before falling asleep was, "I couldn't want you any more... let me inside, I wanna get to know you."

But right there in the kitchen all he did was smile at me, taking my shaking hand and squeezing it a couple of times.

...

"Harry?"

"Darby?"

"We're not taking it too slow, right?"

"I hope you know very well that I want you Darby." He said, simply. Like always. "But I care infinitely more that you're comfortable."

"Take it at your own pace and I'll follow right by your side."

I really listened to what he said, but I didn't think there were words enough to answer him. That feeling was nearly unrecognizable. But only nearly, because I remember feeling it the first night I met him. When he was at my apartment. I hardly knew him, but I felt important.

There were a couple of seconds I stood silent. Admiring him. But I broke with a grin leaving the kitchen, and fell gracefully onto the couch.

We fell asleep watching some random Netflix rom com at four in the morning whilst everyone else was asleep. I can't really remember what the movie was about. H wanted to talk the whole time.

"Have you been writing?" He asked, keeping his head facing the screen and partially on my shoulder.

"I have been. Not a lot but the answer is still yes."

"Good. So you're good." He didn't ask me to share it with him, he only wanted to know if I was writing. Because it said a lot about how I was really doing.

"I am. I'm really good." I smiled sweetly and ran my fingers through his soft curls. I felt so comfortable, like I didn't have to think about anything else. I would've felt like it was completely weird and out of place if it didn't feel any bit as natural as it did.

I laid further down on the couch, becoming way too tired to keep my eyes from shutting uncontrollably. He must have thought I was already asleep when he turned off the tv in the middle of the movie and turned out the lights. He was mostly right, it was only a couple of seconds before I finally drifted off.

To Darby Anna Eden,

I know you hate when I use all of your names but desperate times call for desperate measures.