The red was almost black.

Basil played with the garden shears in his hands nervously, turning it over and over again, staring at how the unnaturally sharp blades mirrored his face at him. His skin was pale and clammy, and the look on his face was akin to pure terror. But why would he be scared? He was just in a room by himself. Though something told him that someone would be visiting soon. Someone would arrive and they would talk. Then, he would save Basil.

There was something weird in his eyes. He frowned and looked closer, but his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t quite make it out. He hated it. They just wouldn’t sit still, not even for a minute. Really, at any second the shears could slip and fall from his sweaty grip and onto the floor. His grandmother always told him not to leave things on the floor. It was messy and left a bad impression. Besides that, what if someone got hurt? The garden shears were so, so sharp. It could probably break skin in a single poke. The thought of it made the shaking get worse. He gritted his teeth as the tremors spread to his chest and legs.

Oh, the anxiety of it all! Bubbling, tossing and turning in his stomach, threatening to make him vomit right then and there. Shivers down his spine, yet he continued to stand there and stare at the shears and his trembling hands. What would he do when Someone arrived? Should he thank him for coming back? For finally putting aside time for them to talk, one on one? Maybe they could even talk about Something. Basil would let him know. He would reassure him that he knew about it, and that he could relate. He could even try to do something useful for once. He could protect him. Imagine that! Weak, frail, useless, scared. And still willing to defend Someone. That meant they were friends, right? Surely he was a good friend. Surely.

“Lies. Don’t lie.” Basil whispered. The gardening shears really were sharp. The points gleamed in the red light of the room, and he could feel himself becoming more and more fascinated. Experimentally, he poked his thumb with it. Sure enough, a small bead of blood appeared on his skin. He dragged the tip of the blade across his forearm, watching in a scared awe as it left behind a trail of thin red in its wake. “Why can’t I do anything right?”

Someone still wasn’t here. Basil gulped and started scratching a second line on his skin, this one deeper. Why wasn’t he here? He thought… He thought that they would be here by now. Basil could sense him. He was nearby. So why? Why won’t he appear? Was he ignoring him? Did he abandon him? His head was starting to hurt. The air, rank with the metallic stench of blood, suddenly became thicker. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.

Something manifested behind him. It hugged him from behind, pressing its painfully cold body onto his back. He hated it. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He could feel it staring at him. Sharp fear stabbed through his heart as Something reached inside of him. Without thinking, he brought the garden shears forward, and stabbed it into his stomach. He couldn’t breathe. Something hugged him tighter.

He stabbed himself again.

He couldn’t breathe.

He stabbed himself again.

He couldn’t breathe.

He stabbed himself again.

He couldn’t breathe.

He stabbed himself aga-

“Oh, Basil! And is that Aubrey behind you? What a surprise.” Polly smiled at them, waving at them over as they approached her. “What are you two doing here? I was just about done shopping - Does chicken fried rice sound good for dinner?”

“That sounds great!” Basil said happily. “I’m just here to pick up some stuff for my plants, and I invited Aubrey to tag along. She visited me today to make sure I was doing okay.”

“Ah, that’s nice of her.” Polly glanced at her, nodding approvingly. “The passing of a loved one can be something difficult to overcome. Sunny was always so quiet, but very polite. Why, I heard that he even went through the trouble of helping out everyone around town with odd jobs recently. It’s… just a shame that he passed on the way he did.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Basil looked back at Aubrey. “You know, we haven’t really gotten to hang out recently! Do you think maybe after this, you want to help out with my gardening? Like I mentioned, my plants haven’t been doing very well… But maybe you can help me out with that!”

“Yeah. Sure.” Aubrey said quietly. Truth be told, she wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation in front of her. Instead, her focus was on trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with Basil. He seemed to have done a complete 180. All of the self-doubt and anxiety in his demeanor had vanished without a trace. Not only that, but Basil was able to carry himself in conversations easily, almost confidently. It seriously felt like he turned into a completely different person.

“Sunny died. Sunny died, and Basil’s happy now.” Aubrey thought, robotically following Basil around as he chatted with Polly about god-knows-what. She didn’t want to be angry. She really didn’t. She’s had enough of being angry at everything and everyone, of taking it out on Basil. But it was hard. No matter what she did, she couldn’t control her feelings. She was mad at Basil, for moving on so easily, so quickly, even quicker than Kel. She was mad at Sunny, for just barging back into her life after all of those years, before just leaving everyone behind.

Didn’t that insensitive jerk ever think about that? She felt her eyes begin to water. They were getting better. They were healing. They were friends. Didn't they spend those few days together promising that they would be there for each other? Why couldn’t he just… talk to them? Just let them help him. But no, he just jumped off a building without a word. He made everything terrible again. Just like what Mari did.

She fought back as bile began to rise to her throat. What an obscenely horrible thought. Disgusting, cold guilt crept its way into her mind as she shook her head. She was useless, wasn’t she? She couldn’t help anyone so instead, she had to resort to petty rage. She couldn’t help her mom, who didn’t even bother coming to Sunny’s funeral. In fact, she didn’t even say a word to the news. Aubrey doubted that she heard her at all. The only time she would say anything was when she turned off the TV, which would cause her to go off on an endless tirade about what a disappointment she was, and how she never should have had her. Or when she ran out of alcohol and would yell at her to fetch another six-pack of beer.

She couldn’t help Kel, who kept insisting that he was fine, that they just needed some time, that everything would be ok. Whenever Aubrey tried talking to him, it would always end up with her ranting to him about how unfair everything was and him doing his best to cheer her up. She couldn’t help Hero, who wouldn’t listen to a word, who blamed himself for Sunny’s death in much the same way he did Mari’s. He would only rant about how much of a failure he was, about how he couldn’t even protect Mari’s brother. About how the signs were obvious but he didn’t take action, about how much he wished that he just did something differently.

She couldn’t even help Basil, who apparently didn’t need help. The fact that this disappointed her only fueled her guilt. Why was she getting so hung over about Basil actually getting better? Was she just jealous?

What a shitty friend she turned out to be. She had to wonder, if she disappeared too, would anyone really care? She was just a delinquent after all. It wasn’t as if her mom would stop her if she decided to just run away. Kim and the other Hooligans would be fine without her. After all, she really only served as a bad influence for them, getting them into trouble with her stupid antics. She was sure Kel would rebound quickly enough, maybe even be glad that she was gone. They always bickered with each other, didn’t they? She wouldn't be around to serve as an annoying contrarian to him anymore. Hero probably wouldn’t care either - Mari and Sunny were way more important to him than her, and he would have enough on his mind already with college. And Basil...

“Aubrey? Are you okay?” Basil asked softly. She looked up to see both Basil and Polly staring at her with concerned looks on their faces.

“Fine.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“But-”

“I said that I’m fine, didn’t I?” Aubrey snapped, regretting her agressive tone at the very moment the words left her mouth. She sighed in frustration and looked around, only to be greeted by the sight of trees and the darkening orange sky. Since when were they outside? “It’s getting late. I think I should leave. See you, Basil.”

“Huh? Um, does this mean that you don’t want to help me with my gardening?”

“What?”

“You… uh, said that you would be fine with helping me out earlier.” Basil said. “But if you don’t want to anymore, then that’s totally fine, I was just-”

“Oh.” Aubrey said. She did agree to something like that, didn’t she? “Okay. Sorry, yeah. You’re gonna have to guide me through it though, I’m probably not going to be much help.”

“Don’t be like that!” Basil chided gently. “You’ll be great, I just know it.”

“Whatever.”