After shaking hands with Albert, Eshdar said, “Now, about that part where you are too deeply involved, I have a feeling you can’t ignore the things these bastards did. I know I wouldn’t.”

“It’s tempting to just walk away,” said Lilac. “But we can’t.”

“(We got into more trouble than it should),” said Ifrit.

“Trouble’s fine. You’re bound to get involved anyway. There have been more and more ambushes like this one.”

“So, who are they, exactly?” asked Albert.

“Not really sure myself. Grandad told me that they are trying to finish what they started. The Uprising didn’t exactly end like they hoped. In fact, it ended poorly. Why? We’re still alive, that’s why. As for the reason, I don’t know yet. All I know is that they are willing to kill anyone who were supporters of the royals and since you two did your best protecting Ifrit, that makes you two targets.”

“But for what? Revenge? Considering how Ifrit does things, it is a possibility. I never heard a prince capable of doing most of the bloody works by himself.”

“Don’t ask me. Ask him,” said Eshdar while pointing at Ifrit. “I got away from the uprising when I was 4. I barely even remembered there was an uprising until grandad told me.”

“You got the wrong hound,” said Ifrit, shaking his head. “I stay away. I must live.”

“Except they keep chasing you and now you got yourself two more people to worry about. Not that it matters. It’s better to have friends than seeing those you don’t know die because of you, right?”

“Wouldn’t that be the other way around?” said Lilac.

“We have feelings, too, you know. Just because we’re called hellhounds doesn’t mean we’re creatures from hell. There is a different place that fits your description of hell, though the Underworld’s not that much different from what grandad told me. Anyway, now that you’re a target, I suggest you stay out of big cities, specifically the ones in Adaline. The region has more hellhounds than Tragoria and I am not sure who I can call ally here. No big cities or places with more visitors than locals.”

“How about the capital?” asked Albert. “Highpoint is just three days through the riverside road.”

“What did I tell you about staying away from big cities you don’t understand?”

“I know people in Highpoint. They might be able to help us.”

“Help you and the girl, perhaps. I mean it’s a good idea, but I doubt they want to extend it to hellhounds. Tragoria has just got its first taste of the attacks as far as I know, but Adaline has already been dealing with this for a couple of months and they know who to trust and who not to trust. Also, considering where you’re from, I heard Dusdolf has their own problem with these hellish incursions.”

“Yes, I….” Albert stopped himself from saying anything else. He contemplated it before he said, “I heard about it. Haven’t got into any trouble and I hope I won’t. Dusdolf are protected by the Demon Hunter Association, so they got it worked out already.”

“There’s no tellin’ what troubles are waiting for us, so be prepared.” Eshdar’s serious expression quickly turned to cheery after he finished talking. “Right! Now that we’ve shaken each other’s hands, we might as well get comfortable. So, let’s chat as we take a midday stroll through this cool stretch of forest. What do you say?”

“That would be great,” said Albert

Albert and Eshdar started talking to each other about Anarim, who Albert did not really know much except meeting with him once by chance. Both Ifrit and Lilac, to accommodate Ifrit’s injuries, walked slower, but kept a steady pace with Albert and Eshdar. Lilac saw Ifrit’s leg and, feeling bad, said, “I’m sorry. I should have learned how to fight. I can’t even shoot the gun properly.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Ifrit. “I should fight better.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Lilac paused, then said, “Lilac, do you…know who I really am?”

“You’re a human. A good and kind human.”

Lilac shook her head. “I never got to show it to you, but I am a pureblood Lycan. I have a werewolf form. I am a beast. I can get wild and do what wild wolves do best. But what good does it do to me? I would end up killing myself like a hunted beast. The wolf in me was not as great of a fighter, not to mention my poor control over my transformation. My mother once told me that if I want to control the beast within me, you must accept that you’re that beast. I learned how to transform, but I never learned how to control it, even under a full moon. I can only hunt, but never learn how to fight. Critters I know, but violent people I don’t. It’s so stupid it sounds like a bloody joke.”

Lilac’s frustration really made Ifrit think if her never showing her transformation was because of her desire to be human, and not be burdened by the duality of a Lycan.

“If you don’t want to turn,” said Ifrit. “Why don’t you find a cure?”

“Only if you are a turned Lycan, at least from what I gather,” said Lilac. “Pureblood Lycans cannot be cured of lycanthropy because it’s part of their being. I have accepted that my life is that of a wolf and that of a human, but…somehow, I chose not to be what I am. I chose a human’s life. I could try and be a werewolf, but I can’t. I was afraid of losing everything because someone is terribly scared of Lycans. Oh, but why are we talking about this? I never even talked to Hans about this!”

“I am not your brother,” said Ifrit. “You can talk all you want. I listen.”

Lilac’s frustration slowly turned to elation after Ifrit said that. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself as they slowly walked through the forest.

“I…don’t want to talk to Hans about this since he might disagree or even confused. There was a time where I did not want to choose or be two bloody things in one. I want to either be completely human or be a wolf, like one of those turned werewolves. I did not go through that plan, and I grew up. Even Lycans who chose to stay wolf the rest of their lives do it with great exertion, because Lycans are not supposed to be just one form unless it’s a curse. No, not just Lycans, but any therianthropes out there.”

“But why two lives? How is that natural?”

“I don’t know. There are stories…well, human propaganda, about a curse for breaking a promise. A hunter promised the den of wolves that he and his kin would not hunt wolves, but their youngest child accidentally killed a wolf cub with his hands. The wolves turned out to be shapeshifting druids and they cursed the human family to walk two lives: one of a human and one of a wolf. Humans used this story to scare children about the werewolf curse and not to make promises you can’t keep. You can’t expect an innocent child to know that he broke the promise the adults made, right?”

“Sounds rather stupid of the hunter.”

“Yeah, he should’ve just said he wouldn’t hurt the wolves as long as he’s alive, but stories can be tailored to fit one’s desire. If a mother doesn’t want their child to stay up past midnight, tell them the story of a boogeyman or a werewolf coming to eat them.” Lilac sighed. “See what I mean? All those stories came from their fear of us, and the children takes it on face value because it’s full of ‘morale’ on the expense of our kind.”

“Any other…explanation for your kind?”

“Some say the druids are real and our ancestors were cursed by druidic magic. I know people call me isolated for not ever going out of my village, but I know that my human form is temporary. Under a full moon, I have no choice but to become a werewolf. A beast with everything humanity despised: themselves. Animals hunt by instinct, but werewolves are not. You can call a wolf a rabid beast, but you call a werewolf a murderer. That is why I am scared that one day I’ll lose control, and I’ll be gunned down like a criminal.”

Ifrit may had a hard time understanding what Lilac was talking about due to his limited understanding of Tragorian, but he knew her dilemma just by the words he could understand and the story she told. He never thought that living two lives was hard. Yes, he could argue that being a prince on the run would be hard, but that was because he knew what he was and he knew what to expect. He bloodied his hands to survive. As for Lilac, she had no idea what life would give her because she was neither human nor beast. She was something in-between, even though Ifrit never saw her wolf form before.

As they silently walked through the forest, Lilac started to chuckle. She seemed amused of something.

“Look at me, complaining of something I should accept a long time ago,” she said with a sad tone. “Maybe I started questioning my identity the moment I knew you. When I realized you’re a hellhound, I was appalled. The books of monsters called you a demon. Instead of being one, you are this…werewolf with horns and eyes like a snake, not to mention a long triangle-tipped tail. But the moment I realized that I was jealous was when I knew you can’t change. This is the form you’re born with and will have the rest of your life. I became jealous, knowing that you could walk around without being bothered of a different identity. Your lupine face and appearance is yourself. You don’t have to worry about moon phases or fearing that the beast within you will take over, for you have the appearance of a beast, but the heart and soul of a human. A Lycan can never achieve that, not even a turned werewolf. Even if they could…the society won’t accept them.”

“Then fight for it,” said Ifrit. “You fight for acceptance. So what if you live a life of two worlds? That makes you unique.”

“Yes…as a beast of terror.”

“I have ‘hell’ in my race’s name. I accept that I have blood on my hand.”

“Like all humans who knows what they are doing. The wolf in us have urges. Animalistic urges. I fear that part of me. My brother helped me to this point, but I’m not sure anymore. I—”

“Lilac, stop,” said Ifrit. “Accept who you really are. Who is Lilac Rezmirn? Why is she here, alive and breathing? (You don’t let others tell you on how you live your life. You make your own story).”

“Eh? What was that?”

“I heard that before…from the hellhounds who cared for me. My foster parents. I don’t know Tragorian well.”

“He says ‘you don’t let others tell on how you live your life. You make your own decision’,” said Eshdar, overhearing what Ifrit said. “It’s a good advice. I suggest you take it, Lilac.”

Lilac heard all of it and realized that Ifrit was right. In her own interpretation, she made choices, but she never decided on which to go with. She had a choice of becoming full human or full wolf, but she never decided to be full werewolf. If she was so concerned about being jealous that Ifrit had one form that was neither beast nor human, then she should try and be one.

She almost decided to live as one when they got out of the forest and into the town of Sandorf. The forest pathway was also starting to become crowded. Knowing that transforming among them would end up scaring everyone who were not aware, she decided that it would be better if they were alone. As she decided that, she looked at Ifrit and felt that she must tell him what she felt about him. She realized that she had feelings for Ifrit. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for her to ask him for a night out.

“Ifrit, I….” She hesitated, still unable to tell him what she wanted. Then, she mustered her courage and said, “Would you like to…go out with me tonight?”

“Go out?”

“Have a dinner, just you and me,” she said with slight embarrassment. “I…”

“Well, I accept,” said Ifrit with a smile. “On one condition.”

“And that is?”

“You told me you a Lycan. I never see your other form.”

“You mean my werewolf form?”

“Well, that won’t be a problem,” said Albert. “Tonight’s a full moon. I hope you have been consulting your moon phase calendar, Lilac, because you’re going to need it tonight.”

“What?” Lilac pulled out rolled-up piece of paper that, when she opened it, showed the calendar of the month and the moon phase. Just as Albert said, that night was a full moon. She had no choice but to transform into a werewolf, considered to be the most private moment of a Lycan’s life.

But she knew she did not care. Ifrit might as well know about her other form if they really wanted to come clean. He already did. Now, it was her turn.

***

Sandorf wasn’t a big town, but it was urbanized with many brick buildings and paved roads. However, the mayor of the town clearly made city planning their first priority, for the town was very tidy and modern. If it was nighttime, the lights went on, giving a less gloomy town and more of a tranquil night.

Albert found a good cheap hotel and rented two rooms, one for the boys and the other for Lilac. But, to their surprise, Lilac, who by that point usually asked for a single bed room to cut expenses, asked for a double bed room instead. Eshdar, who heard parts of Ifrit and Lilac’s conversation, grinned as he knew what Lilac was planning.

“(Looks like someone’s going to get laid tonight),” said Eshdar nudging Ifrit. “(Just make sure you know what to do).”

“(Hey, I’m not a first-timer, if that’s what you’re implying),” said Ifrit with an annoyed voice. “(We don’t need any more burden than we have right now).”

“(Okay, calm down. I never implied that you’re a virgin. But, she is, and oh boy, is she going to get one hell of a night).”

“(Oh, fuck off. It’s not like we’re going at it tonight. Not all date nights turn into sex).”

“(Then ask your new date about it. Just don’t wake up the neighbors, alright, Ifrit? Atta boy).”

Eshdar patted his shoulder, causing Ifrit to groan in embarrassment.

But then, he did not know what Lilac was planning, especially when he was out of earshot and Lilac and Albert had a private conversation about it over teatime. Albert tried not to pry too deep about Lilac and Ifrit’s budding relationship, but he could help but notice that both had feelings to each other. Now that Ifrit gave her a good suggestion to lift her mood, there was no way she would rebuff him. He was, in Albert’s understanding, a conflicting person. He looked like a beast and fought like a killing machine, but his heart was kind and he was understanding despite everything he had been through. He convinced a family hellhound to prioritize his family over him. He never even wanted to use his status to his advantage. A humble and kind person despite his ‘demonic’ appearance was something Albert knew would be a thing for Lilac. If not, she wouldn’t help Ifrit in the first place.

But, the main concern was not about Ifrit or Lilac’s rather unusual relationship. It was another, more intimate reason. So, as the two talked over tea and sconce, Albert said, “Lilac, are you sure about this?”

“About what?”

“Your plans with Ifrit? I may be a human, but I grew up with pureblood Lycans. One of them told me that during a full moon, your instincts take over for the most part.”

“If you’re implying that I’m going to hurt Ifrit…”

“No, not that. I know you’re not a child. However, I am well-aware that this is the first time you will do…whatever you’re going to do. And it’s not with a human or a Lycan, but a hellhound.”

“Is it wrong?”

“Wrong how? He’s a genuine one. It’s not going to end badly. What I mean is…consider the room, okay? We’re tight on money and with the carriage gone, we need to buy a new one. So…don’t rough it up, okay?”

“What?!” said Lilac, embarrassed. “But, we haven’t even…”

“If not tonight, then someday in the future. You two have claws and teeth, for goodness’ sake.”

Albert’s sly smile just made it worse for her. She did not plan to do it that night. They barely even starting dating! Still, she knew if she wanted it, or if Ifrit wanted it, it would happen.

And considering that it was full moon that night, there was a very high possibility of it happening.

And so, Ifrit and Lilac followed with their plan and went on a date. They never thought about it before, but a day with just the two of them together felt different than when Albert was around. Even better, Sandorf was an inclusive town, so Ifrit did not become the center of attention. There were many other Lycans in their wolf forms walking around, some even holding hands with their human lover. This made it easier for Lilac to the point of her being more open with her feelings with Ifrit. Their date went on until the sun started to set, to which she knew that it was time.

As usual during the full moon, she decided to retire before the moon came up. She knew she had more time out since it was summer, but she wanted to calm herself down and let Ifrit knew they were both prepared. Still, she decided that privacy during transformation would be the most comfortable for her, and when the moon was high on the sky, she looked at it through the window and slowly, but surely, started to transform. There was almost no pain as she was prepared for it, so she took a couple of deep breaths and let her body transform. She could hear her bones cracking and rearranged in several points as her anatomy became a hybrid of that of a human and a wolf. However, once she transformed, she remembered something she forgot.

Lilac forgot to tell Ifrit that the process took a while. She only told him that she wouldn’t be long, though she wasn’t specific. Her plan was to call Ifrit in after she was already properly dressed, given that she did not wear anything to accommodate the change. So, after her transformation was complete and she sighed in relief, the door opened, and she let out a yip of surprise.

“Lilac?” said Ifrit’s voice. “Is that you?”

“Oh, shit!” she thought to herself. “I forgot to tell him to wait!”

But Lilac was alright since it was just Ifrit and no one else, so she sighed, braved herself, and said, “Yes, Ifrit. I’m here.”

As for Ifrit, he did not see anyone except the neatly folded (dirty) clothes on a pedestal and a tall chair facing the open window, which opened to a bright full moon. He approached the chair and soon, he noticed a fur-covered hand with claws clutching the chair’s arm. Then, the figure stood up, and Ifrit was struck in awe as the person turned around while covering herself with a nearby towel.

Ifrit thought he got into the wrong room, but he was sure that Lilac’s voice came from where the werewolf lady just sit a moment ago. A little bit of deductive reasoning made him conclude that the lady was in fact Lilac, and he was in loss of words. Her body proportion was slender and human-like, but it was covered with soft black fur that was so tidy and well-kept. However, the one that struck Ifrit the most was the werewolf’s blue eyes. There were bright and went well with her lupine head.

He knew the owner of those eyes was the most beautiful human he had ever met, and that human was now standing in front of him not as one, but as another being: a beautiful, black-furred werewolf.

“(Oh…my), said Ifrit. “(You’re…beautiful).”

“Uh, sorry?” said Lilac.

“Oh, I mean…you’re beautiful. I’m now confused.”

“For what?”

“For why you keep this a secret. This…is you. This is who you are.”

For the first time since Lilac turned into a werewolf, she blushed. She never heard anyone complimented her like Ifrit. She knew he was being genuine, and her appearance pushed all the buttons the hellhound had. Maybe it was because he was a hellhound, so he knew the beauty of a werewolf just as he appreciated a hellhound’s beauty. In fact, considering that he also liked her in her human form, he seemed alright if Lilac was just a normal human being.

“So…,” she said, sheepishly. “Thanks. I guess. It’s the first time someone’s, well…complimented me in this form.”

“Then anyone who doesn’t are just fools. You’re even more beautiful when your human disguise is gone.”

“I suppose you telling me to be myself has its merits, after all.”

“And it works,” said Ifrit, smiling. “Lilac. So, uh…”

“Let me get dressed.” But then, sensing Ifrit might not like it, said, “Or, would you prefer…this?”

Ifrit simply smiled, followed by Lilac as they started making out. The towel she held to cover her body was tossed away as they started kissing sensually, and the action continued on the bed.

That night was where they solidified their relationship. It was the love under the light of a full moon, and they took advantage of it the best they could. Everything was laid bare, and nothing could ever change that.

But, the dream would continue beyond the night of the full moon, for there were many surprises that both couldn’t imagine they had. For Lilac’s wish to finally decide on a choice came true in the most unexpected ways.