Wen Reian

2020 years after the Long Night

Xi Qiáng Forest

It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done, writing those letters. Reian had sat alone one night by the fireplace as he stared into the flames, recalling the faintest memories of his childhood. They were more just feelings… The last couple months he’d been having them more and more, like pieces of the puzzle coming back.

The letters had been difficult, but Wen Rei tried to make them as genuine as he could, and as personal as he dared.

Lan Kai-Le had known he needed space while writing them, and offered Reian no words of encouragement, only soft looks and maybe a kiss on the forehead while Reian spent days carefully writing each one.

They were sent out just the other week, and now Wen Rei was holding in his shaking hands the two responses. One from Jingshén, and the other from Sanlín City.

Opening them carefully as he sat curled up in bed, listening to the sounds of Lan Kai-Le chopping wood out back just a little ways away, Wen Reian had another odd moment of deja vu, seeing the familiar scripty hand-writing on the first page…

Dear Wen Reian,

I know how you feel, it has been a long time indeed. To answer your first question; I am well. I have remained at Jingshén for the majority of the last ten years, eventually returning as a permanent Master. The children call me Master Yu and it still takes me a few moments to realize they are speaking to me.

As for your second question, of course I understand that our losing touch wasn’t what you intended. I might not be able to speak on Xie De’s behalf, but I certainly wished over the years that things could have been different.

I’m glad to hear you’ve found a home at last. I would like to come see it someday soon, though unfortunately with the students beginning their testing I will not be able to leave until perhaps mid-fall.

Reian, there has been no unfixable ending between us three, as I know you have feared. On the contrary, I would be most willing and honored to speak with you in person on everything you might have forgotten.

You and Xie De are both still my older brothers, no years nor memories lost can change this fact.

Thank you for reaching out to me, I would have done it sooner if I’d been sure of where your heart had been. Well, truly… Thank you.

Also if Xie De is a little grumpy, it’s less of a grudge and more due to the fact he likely hasn’t left the house in a very long time-

Sincerely,

Jin Yu

Second Master of Jingshén

Wen Reian had to read the letter several times. Each time more tears fell from his eyes that he rushed to wipe away so they wouldn’t smudge the ink.

A’Yu, his little brother… Reian had gathered that, in the past, Jin Yu was more precious to him than his own life. After Reian lost his memories of their time spent together, Jin Yu was never frustrated or angry, he was always patient and kind, and would sometimes look at Reian with such innocent fondness in his eyes. Reian dared to imagine that at one point, he deserved someone to look at him like that.

It was Xie De, his elder brother, that he was really worried about getting a response from. And yet, now he held it in his hands…

Would Xie De still hate him? Would he be able to forgive Wen Rei for all the things he’d said in the months leading up to their parting, as well as the things Reian didn’t recall? The healer regretted so much how he allowed himself to ruin that bond, a brotherhood which had sustained him his whole life previously.

That he could just burn those bridges, say those words that he knew he didn’t mean, end the friendships that his former self cherished so much… for the last fifteen years Reian truly believed that he’d already sunk so low as to never return.

Wen Reian,

It’s about damn time.

I’ve been waiting for you to finally leave the palace and remember us two! The people who you disappeared on…

Don’t get me wrong! I’ve had a good life, A’Yu has as well. Did he tell you he became a Master?

We kept hoping that wherever you were, you were happy… happy with the choices you made. I suppose you must have been, up there with Xie Yi-jun and Jin Songcai of all people.

I… Well, I ended up getting married about eight years ago. Left Jingshén to travel the world and only made it as far as Sanlín City before I met her.

Ai-Lin…

I think you’d really like her, Wen Rei. I think after all this time, she’s finally helping me move on from everything. The old me, that old life. I let go of a lot of my… anger at myself.

You know, after everything we did and said to each other back then, I was still always so… jealous of you. I didn’t know that’s what it was until later, but I was so jealous. Because, you were braver than me, you were self-sacrificing, and able to keep the people you loved safe.

That’s all I ever wanted… to keep you and Jin Yu safe. I was a bad older brother. Hopefully I’ll be a better father.

Come visit us in Sanlín City and meet my daughter, you owe me that much!

You can tell me all about this, what is it… Lan Kai-Le? I never thought you’d let go of that blasted King but I guess things can still change even after this long. It gives me hope, knowing maybe I can too.

Don’t listen to anything Jin Yu says, he’s just mad because he hasn’t been allowed out of Jingshén in literal months…

When you come, bring Lan Kai-Le. I want to see just how the King of Hêi’àn City himself got beat-

And don’t forget that I still owe you a good old fashioned beating after ghosting us for this long!

We waited for you, even knowing you’d never remember… We still waited.

-Xie De

(proof-read by Ai-Lin)

Wen Reian only realized he was sobbing when he heard Lan Kai-Le open the door. The hunter gazed at him longingly, silently asking if it was okay to come in. With a quick nod, suddenly Reian was being gathered up again inside Kai-Le’s warmth, turning his face into the man’s chest as he tried to steady his breathing.

“Wen Reian,” the man said softly, holding him where they sat on the bed. “I love you.”

The healer froze. After a long time he was finally able to pull away enough to look deeply into Lan Kai-Le’s eyes, momentarily speechless by the intensity of his expression.

“You… do?”

“Mn,”

Reian sniffed, pouting softly as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. The weight lifted off of him from reading Jin Yu and Xie De’s letters was enormous. He felt like a different person, yet now that he’d been somewhat released from much of that guilt he’d associated with them, a different kind of fear was surfacing that Reian knew was… silly.

He swallowed and shook his head, suddenly thinking out loud as he stammered-

“I thought… I really thought I couldn’t be forgiven. I thought it was selfish to imagine I deserved love of any kind. Forgiveness… is a kind of love. A kind I simply could never give myself. I was so confused, for so long, about who I was and how the person I used to be had vanished… how I’d killed him. But, you? You really… love me? You forgive me, Lan Kai-Le? Even with all my missing pieces?”

Golden eyes were watching him, the hunter lingering on Reian’s every word, really truly hearing him. Reian always felt so understood with Kai-Le.

“Yes,” the man nodded. He seemed… proud?

Reian looked on in astonishment as Lan Kai-Le smiled, and the healer felt the man’s soul gently easing and settling beside him, like it had finally found a home.

“With all our missing pieces,” he held Reian’s cheek gently and bent to kiss him.

As eyelashes fluttered against his skin, Wen Rei sighed…

Lan Kai-Le’s voice echoed through Reian’s soul, as he whispered for only him to hear.

“I love everything you are.”