Wen Reian

2016 years after The Long Night

Hêi’àn City

“Uncle, I dare you to jump in the lake!”

Xie Song-jun had just barely turned thirteen. None of her words could be taken as anything other than innocent childish teasing, but still, Wen Reian tended to think that there was more to her jokes than met the eye. The Princess knew he had been afraid of Darkling Pond ever since Xie Yi-jun had told the healer what sort of creatures were said to inhabit it. Reian didn’t want to risk it.

“I believe that will be a no, dear…” he mumbled, reaching for one of the many snacks that they’d brought with them that afternoon.

Wen Reian was accompanied by A’Jun of course, as well as both her fathers, who were also sitting comfortably on the large blanket, clearly enjoying some sort of private joke at the moment.

It was rare enough that Reian got off-days from work, let alone Yi-jun and Songcai at the same time! They’d been planning this outing for weeks now, and Reian was trying to enjoy every minute of it…

A’Jun humphed softly and pouted, crossing her arms. Reian was halfheartedly chewing on some type of rice cracker when he heard the King’s gentle laugh, and then Xie Yi-jun’s cheery voice.

“Princess, don’t look so disappointed! If you want, I can go jump in the lake! Watch, I’ll do it right now-”

Xie Yi-jun was joking of course, but he made a show of starting to clamor up to fling off his shoes, of course prompting A’Jun to laugh. Reian and Songcai both fondly admired the two of them playing around, Wen Rei thinking about just how much more of the King’s personality had come to light after he became a father. Yi-jun’s playful streak had never been more vibrant…

“Aiyah!” Songcai hissed, dragging the man back down while Song-jun giggled.

“Troublemaker, what am I going to do with you?”

Yi-jun’s smile visibly lit up his whole face then and he bent to whisper something into Songcai’s ear which made the healer blush dramatically and smack the King.

Wen Reian caught A’Jun’s eye and pretended to yawn at the ridiculous couple, the Princess rolling her eyes and giggling softly in agreement.

“Uncle Wen?”

Reian nodded, “Yes?”

Song-jun closed her eyes and smiled brightly, reminding Wen Reian of when she was a little girl and liked to gaze up longingly at the sun, delighting in its warmth.

“This is a nice day, don’t you think?”

Reian smiled, “Yes. It is…”

“Do you think we’ll have more nice days?”

Wen Reian nodded and that seemed to satisfy A’Jun’s curiosity about it. Reian on the other hand began thinking, something he tried to do very little these days because he always inevitably ended up in the same place, with the same repeating questions slowly driving him insane!

What am I missing?

He tried to reason with himself constantly. He tried saying he just didn’t get out enough, might be lacking in some adventure or passion, he even considered once or twice that he was craving an intimate physical connection with someone again, though that idea hadn’t gotten anywhere near seriously considerable and made him honestly want to laugh-

But… I am missing something.

The too obvious answer was; his memories. But how could you miss something you couldn’t recall? It made about as much sense to him as trying and failing to remember snippets of his old life, before he’d met Yi-jun and Songcai and fallen deeply in love with both of their souls.

Wen Reian didn’t know if this emptiness inside him had always been there, or if it was brought on after The Soul Shatter Spell, perhaps another lovely side effect? He tried filling the hole with work, taking on many more patients and healing challenges that sometimes even left Jin Songcai himself stumped. Reian proved to be more than talented in medicine, and he let that control the pace of most of his life these days.

Song-jun’s question, about whether or not they would have any more nice days like this, made Wen Reian very… confused.

On one hand he was happy, happy to be here with them, happy happy happy!! The fact that he had been feeling unfulfilled for the last, gods… too long, didn’t mean he wasn’t happy!

Then there was the other hand. That stupid other hand, which said that the thing Reian was missing was not his memories, or sex, or adventure. He was missing an important part of himself. With no clue what it was and no idea how to begin looking, the healer resigned himself in silence to enjoy the nice days.

If I worry too much about this I’ll end up wasting all the days I have left!

That wasn’t a pleasant thought. So, Reian exhaled, watching the view of the sun setting slowly over the water and listening to the King and his husband banter back and forth, occasionally getting so ‘disgusting’ that A’Jun had to break them up by covering her eyes and complaining loudly about how gross and in love her parents were.

Reian enjoyed the nice day with his family, vowing once again to stop his selfish, wayward thoughts once and for all.

I’m happy, I’m happy! It’s a nice day… and if I keep thinking it, eventually I might believe it’s true.