《Last Embers: A Loki Story》Chapter 16
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Loki had risen far earlier than even Revna generally did the next morning. Asgard was still blanketed in darkness with no hint as of yet of daylight's return. Though he had gotten fewer hours of rest than he usually needed to be at his best, he felt renewed and refreshed. He eagerly prepared for the day ahead, a day he thought it very possible would be one he would long remember, the sort of day that could turn out to be one of those days of special note in one's life, a day where everything changed and forever after one thought back on their life in terms of either before that day or after it.
The tasks he had returned home to see to could wait at least one more day, though he had already put them off once already. As some of them related to Thor's coronation, he wasn't particularly eager to complete them anyway. There was still sufficient time. If he returned early enough, he may yet be able to mark some of them off the list. But then, he had the distinct feeling that he would be otherwise occupied for some time after he accomplished his mission.
Loki recalled Revna's reaction when she had first laid eyes on the gown. His next surprise for her would certainly surpass that. Now that he had broken through that barrier and was now capable of uttering those words, he wanted to shout them from the mountains, though his greatest hope was to soon say them to her from the throne.
Loki approached Frida's cottage, dawn now having broken. The cottage now sat vacant of occupants or visitors. The same emptiness that he had sensed after Frida's passing overcame him again. He had believed he may find Revna there in the garden but perhaps she had not arrived yet, choosing to sleep in or felt it not to be in need of tending that day….it was also possible that with Loki's absence, she may have become once again fearful of leaving the confines of her abode.
Loki entered the cottage on the chance that Revna may have gone inside for something, a basket or tool perhaps. After calling out and getting no response and finding no trace of her, Loki exited making his way towards the forest and the now familiar path. As he traversed it, he took in the scenery as he listened to birds twittering from the trees as they greeted the new day. He couldn't help but notice that in his current mood, the colors of nature surrounding him seemed brighter, more vivid, as if he were seeing them through new eyes. As he took the offshoot of the path that led to Revna's dwelling, his grin widened in anticipation. Only a few minutes more…how would she react upon seeing him before her once more far sooner than she had expected and when she heard the words she had been longing for? Would she fly excitedly into his arms? Weep with joy?
Loki could see in the distance where the path exited the forest, Revna's home only a few yards further beyond. It was then that his eyes alerted his brain to having caught sight of something but unable to make out exactly what it was. A sense of foreboding overcame Loki though he wasn't quite sure why, the grin he had been wearing beginning to slowly fade from his face as he progressed farther along the path. His legs began to carry him at a quicker pace, though he didn't consciously recall telling them to do so. He soon found himself at a run. It was as if his mind and body were not quite in sync, his body reacting to what he was seeing before his mind had fully processed it.
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Loki felt his body go cold as if the dead of winter had suddenly descended as well as a strange sensation in his chest. It was as if his heart had ceased to beat, the blood in his veins no longer circulating, every nerve in his body going numb. Now only a few feet away from it, his legs refused to carry him further or even to bear his weight to stand, Loki sinking heavily to his knees. It was as if time had stopped, all the sounds of the forest seeming to cease, his brain no longer paying any attention to them or anything but what he now saw before him.
A sound something between a gasp and a sob escaped Loki as he stared in abject shock, horror and devastation at the body of Revna dressed in the emerald green formal gown, Frida's earrings in her ears, a noose tight around her neck, the once fair, soft skin around the rope now purple and red, her face white, her lips blue as she hung from the low hanging branch of a tree only a few feet from where the path exited the forest, her feet dangling only a few inches from the ground. Life had obviously fled some time ago.
"Why….?" Loki gasped, barely audibly, it being the only word that came to mind in his shocked state and the only one he could manage to force his lips to form. The question was not just directed at Revna but the universe itself. Once again, it had said no, snatched from him what could have brought him happiness. Who or what had brought this curse upon him and for what reason? He couldn't even begin to understand...he had told her he would return, assured her more than once, he had given her the gown, Frida's earrings. She had of course appeared grieved at his departure, but not so sorely that he would have possibly imagined she would do something so rash. She had obviously feared dying by the beast. Why would she take her own life?
Suddenly Loki, who appeared to have ceased to breathe, staring unblinking at Revna, squeezed his eyes tightly closed, both hands flying up to pull at his own hair as he threw his head back and emitted a combination of a cry, growl and a roar of anger and grief to the sky above.
Having cut Revna down and removed the noose from about her neck, Loki now carried her lifeless body, cradled in his arms, out of the forest and up the path towards her dwelling. He stared straight ahead as he did so, his face devoid of emotion as if his own soul had fled his body and he was little more than an animated corpse. Coming upon the section of the path where they had found themselves sprawled in the mud the night of the storm, Loki recalled the feeling he had then of lightness and mirth, of child-like joy. He could hear her laughter echoing in his head.
He kicked open the door of Revna's small hovel, carrying her inside. Turning towards the bed he noticed the gown's box as well as the cloak, her bag containing her blood stained dress, her father's sword and the book he had given her lying on the bed. It was obvious she had not slept in it the night before. Her death could not have taken place too long after his departure. Crossing the room, Loki laid Revna's body on the bed, sweeping off everything else atop it. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked down once more upon her. He reached out, tentatively touching the red markings on her neck that he could only assume were from the rope, though something about it struck him as odd. They were wider than the rope had been and appeared more like burns than bruising. But then the friction of the rope tight against her skin could have caused such an effect. It also meant that her death was not instantaneous, that she had struggled as she strangled. The thought pained and haunted Loki as did the fact that she had died alone as she had told him she feared. But then she had chosen to do so. His brain tried to make sense of it all, to attempt to grasp what she had been thinking, though he knew it was pointless. The mad were not mad because their reasoning adhered to logic. Looking down upon her he raised his hand, placing it gently on the cold, white skin of her forehead.
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"Revna, I bid you to take your place in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave live forever. Nor shall we mourn-" Loki said before abruptly ending the blessing before its completion. Loki rose from the bed and stood silently beside it for a few moments before he appeared to himself fall victim to madness and rage as he began to send objects flying against the stone walls, breakables shattering leaving broken shards scattered throughout the room. Flipping over the table where he and Revna had sat the night of the storm, he wrenched a leg from it and held it like a club, breaking out the one window before pushing over the standing cabinet, it's contents spilling across the floor. Having completely demolished the room in his frenzy, Loki then strode out the door.
Loki had moved Revna's body from the bed onto the pyre he had constructed a few yards outside her abode. She now lay upon it in the green gown Loki had given her, her wavy reddish gold hair falling loose over her shoulders. Loki had removed from her body his grandmother's earrings to give to his mother. Instead of a sword, Loki had placed in her hands the book he had given her, the same from which he had read to her as they lay in bed their last night together, containing stories with happy endings. It seemed fitting that it should go up in flames along with her.
Before constructing the pyre, Loki had returned to Frida's cottage and retrieved the three bottles of wine that were left in the wine cabinet. He had stood staring at Revna's corpse as he drank from one bottle. He had nearly finished it off when he sat it down on the ground and stepped up to the pyre. He reached out, caressing her cheek one last time.
"I lov-" Loki began, before breaking off. He felt the darkness that had been steadily deepening and rising within him since his father's decision was announced wash over him like a flood. He no longer attempted to hold it back, giving himself over to it completely. The grief in his eyes and his expression disappeared, Loki's features now stony as if all feeling had drained from him. "It doesn't matter." he said before turning and picking up the bottle once more and taking a long swallow, polishing off the contents, then lifted the burning torch from where he had placed it in the ground. Touching the flame of the torch to the pyre, it was quickly set alight, the flames rising and spreading.
Loki turned from it and threw the now empty bottle against the outer wall of Revna's home, it shattering on contact with the hard, rough stone. Loki entered the structure once again, torch in hand, walking among the detritus his earlier tantrum had left, and reached down, lifting Revna's father's sword from the floor near the bed. Touching the torch to Revna's bedding, he set it alight. Stepping out of the door he tossed the burning torch onto the roof setting it on fire as well. All that would remain would be the stone walls.
Carrying the sword he walked to where he had sat the remaining two bottles of wine a few yards from the pyre and dropping the sword into the grass, picked up another bottle and removed the cork, lifting the bottle to his mouth and taking a long swallow as he stood stone faced, emotionless, watching the flames overtake Revna's body.
After Revna's cadaver had been rendered to ash, Loki now exited the forest near Frida's cottage, sword in hand. Making his way down the path he stood in front of the cottage and the now to go untended garden. He knew he would never, could never return to this place. He had returned that morning believing that after this day his life would change. He knew now it had, just not in the way he had envisioned. Turning, he walked away along the seashore for the last time.
Returning to the palace that evening, Frigga nor anyone else questioned Loki as to his whereabouts earlier in the day, possibly due to his demeanor sending out a silent warning to all not to do so. He had returned to his chambers, commanding the einherjar standing sentry outside of it to allow no one to disturb him.
He allowed the darkness to surge within him, washing her from his mind. He wished to forget that she had ever existed. He had no further use for such sentiment. He wanted to look now only to the future, to his plan for Thor's coronation. He was to meet with Laufey to go over it all once more. After that, all there was left to do was wait for the day to arrive. He had not mentioned to anyone that he was to bring a companion to the festivities and was glad he had waited. He would escort his mother, as he usually did to such events.
He did not leave her, he had not abandoned her, she had left him, he reminded himself whenever thoughts of her crept up on him over the course of the rest of the evening. The hardest to endure as he attempted to erase Revna from his mind and his thoughts came that night as he retired to his bedchamber to sleep. Lying in bed, he was, as he had been the night before, acutely aware of the empty space beside him, a space he had that morning thought would now be filled. He welcomed the darkness to overcome him once again. He had no need or desire for love, for companionship. He would go it alone as he always had.
Loki had spent the next several days behaving as if nothing were amiss, not locking himself away as he had previously after Odin's decision. He wished no one to ask any questions which would remind him of her as he worked to cleanse Revna and all they had shared from his memory.
The evening before the coronation had finally arrived. Loki walked outside the palace, contemplating what was to take place the next day. As he did so, Thor, Volstagg, Sif, Fandral and Hogun approached obviously making their way to mark Thor's last night before becoming king.
"Brother...would you care to join us?" Thor asked jovially. Loki's first instinct was of course to decline. He was not in a reveling mood, though he hoped he would have reason to be by this time the next evening. As hard as he had worked to push her from his thoughts however, she suddenly rose up within them again, the memory of her in the green gown, the one he had given her and that she had died wearing, how she was to have worn it the next day at his side.
"Yes, actually, I would." Loki answered to everyone's surprise. Thor, looking pleased, put an arm around his brother's shoulders leading him forward, the others trailing behind.
Thor and the rest except for Loki now sat around a table enjoying drinks in the tavern as they shared stories and memories. Loki had sat with them for a time before making his way to another table and now sat alone nursing a drink. He was surprised when a woman moved with her drink from another table and placed herself across from him. So often he thought himself invisible, especially to women when his brother was present.
"So who is she?" the woman asked.
"No one who matters." Loki answered. Loki took stock of the woman. She was tall, shapely, with dark brunette hair, the opposite of Revna's reddish gold locks. "What is it you're looking for?'" Loki asked.
"Nothing but an evening in the presence of good company." the woman answered. Loki rose, offering his hand to the woman.
"That I can most certainly provide." he said. The dark haired woman took his hand, rising to her feet. Taking his arm, Loki escorted her from the tavern.
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