Beezlebub hops off the tank and strolls over to Satan, hands in his pocket.

‘So… you’re working for the DLF now?’ Satan asks, attempting to keep his tone conversational.

‘Working with, not for,’ Beelzebub replies. ‘It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.’

‘I could destroy the entire cognitive realm with my power,’ says Lilith from her perch atop the tank. ‘So Abaddon worked out a little deal. I get a spot in the New World or I ruin his brain beach. It’s a win-win situation.’

Satan clicks his tongue. ‘And what do you get out of this, traitor?’

No one speaks. Beelzebub points to himself. ‘…You mean me?’

‘You’re both traitors, but you’re about fifty percent more traitorous than her, so yes. You,’ Satan says, folding his arms.

‘I’m part of her deal,’ Beelzebub explains, ‘I saved her life, so she’s got me a free ticket to the New World. Abaddon messes with me and this whole world goes up in smoke, yeah?’

Satan nods as he inspects a rifle on a nearby shelf. ‘Keep talking. New World?’

‘It’s how Abaddon wants to make the Sheol once you get overthrown,’ says Lilith.

‘Overthrow me?’ Satan chuckles.

‘You mean you don’t know?’ Lilith asks.

Satan looks up.

‘Your real body has turned into Archey Billiard,’ says Beezlebub. ‘Personality, intelligence, strength, the whole deal. Your advisors think you’ve gone insane. They’re debating how to get rid of you.’

Satan picks up the rifle and fires a shot at Beezelbub. In a flash, Lilith darts forward and bats the bullet out of the air.

‘This is not good,’ Satan whispers. ‘This is very not good.’

‘You be nice to me and I might get them to preserve your intelligence into the New World,’ Lilith says, hovering back up to her tank.

Satan digs his nails into his palms, drawing blood. His jaw aches and his temples throb. Those same feelings from a year ago, when he had last seen Beelzebub and Lilith. They’re back. Satan hates the two of them so much. He desperately wants to find the biggest weapon in the bunker and destroy them both, but he knows he can’t stand up to Lilith. He knows better than any previous Satan the strength of Legion. All that power, shoved into a single person? Victory against such a being is a pipe dream. Satan’s eyes widen. Of course. That’s the key to everything. Legion.

‘Let’s kill them,’ Satan says. ‘Take the New World for ourselves. We’ve got the ultimate weapon right here.’

Lilith sighs. ‘I can destroy Winchward Beach faster than the DLF can stop me, but I can’t kill the DLF themselves.’

‘What?’ Satan exclaims. ‘Didn’t you see how fast I killed Aosoth?’

‘Aosoth was just a pawn!’ Lilith snaps. ‘You know that. Killing lesser demons is nothing compared to bringing down Satans.’

Dead silence. ‘Excuse me?’ Satan eventually says. ‘What did you just say?’

Lilith seems confused. ‘I’m saying we’re dealing with five former demon kings right now, and killing them just isn’t as easy as shooting them until they drop dead. You should know this stuff.’

Dead silence again.

‘Uhh, Lilith?’ says Beezlebub. ‘I don’t think he knows.’

‘He’s a Satan, of course he knows how strong they are…’ Lilith trails off.

‘Five former demon kings?’ Satan asks.

Beelzebub and Lillith nod.

Satan rubs his eyes. ‘Which one is Asmodeus?’

‘Four,’ Lilith responds.

‘Of course he’s Four,’ Satan whispers under his breath. ‘What about Abaddon?’

‘Six.’

Satan laughs. ‘Six,’ he repeats. ‘This whole time. Six.’

Satan is dead. He’s been dead this entire time without realizing it. Any of the previous Satans could beat him in a fight, but all five at once? There would be no fight, only a slaughter.

‘This wasn’t part of the deal,’ says Asmodeus.

Satan spins around. The headless child is standing at the entrance to the bunker. Lilith raises a finger. ‘One more step and there’ll be no more Winchward Beach,’ she says.

‘Seven wasn’t supposed to know,’ Asmodeus continues. ‘It’s better if he doesn’t.’

‘So the Reaper didn’t take you then, Four?’ Satan asks.

‘Quiet!’ Asmodeus roars. His body bulges momentarily, as if he were on the verge of exploding back into his monstrous form. ‘You have made a mockery of our line, Seven!’

‘You’re the one who takes orders from Six.’

‘I only take orders from my master,’ Asmodeus says. ‘We all do.’

Satan’s body moves before his mind can. In moments, his great edged weapon is in his hands. In seconds, it pierces the heart of Satan Four. Seven grins. He may not be an evil mastermind, but he can handle a weapon better than any of them. Seven leans in close to Four, pushing the slab of iron deeper and deeper. The child doesn’t bleed.

‘What about One?’ Satan whispers into his predecessor’s ear.

Asmodeus gargles something in reply, then instantly collapses into black dust. Satan’s weapon drops with a clang.

Dead silence.

‘Hey Lilith?’ says Satan Seven. ‘What did you say about killing Satans again?’

‘I… I don’t understand,’ Lilith stammers. ‘That thing isn’t even demonic. How can it kill a Satan?’

Satan smiles, hefting his weapon onto his shoulder. ‘Convenient, isn’t it?’

‘With this thing, we might actually have a shot at taking down the DLF!’ Lilith exclaims.

‘Maybe,’ Satan says, nodding. ‘But first, I’ve got a date with a traitor.’

Beelzebub slowly backs away, making for some weapon behind him.

‘Don’t stop me, Lilith,’ Satan growls.

The wielder of Legion’s power doesn’t respond.

Satan hasn’t felt like this for long. The euphoria of victory. In the space of a minute, he had gone from complete hopelessness to all-encompassing elation. It’s emotional whiplash of the highest order. And now, to top it all off, he has free reign over that slimy bastard Beelzebub’s fate. Seven will kill them all, break from Winchward Beach, and become the greatest ruler the Sheol has ever seen. His breathing is rapid and shallow, adrenaline coursing through his body. Satan lets out a roar of satisfaction as he swings his king-slaying blade at Beelzebub’s head. It slices straight through with no resistance. Satan is surprised at his own strength. He expected to at least have to fight to break through the bone. Wait. Something’s not right. Beelzebub is still standing. And breathing. And talking. ‘I think your sword’s broke, mate’ he says. There’s not a scratch on him.

‘It’s not a sword,’ Satan says. ‘It’s a slab of –‘

‘Well whatever it is, it looks like it only works on other Satans,’ Lilith says. ‘My theory was right.’

‘What if it wasn’t, huh?’ Beelzebub asks. ‘What then?’

Lilith shrugs.

Satan stabs his weapon into the ground with a shout of annoyance and leaves it there. Yet again, nothing is making sense.