Penedo, Rio de Janeiro

Friday, 2:00 PM, Penedo. Due to Vini's aunt, both him and Enzo would be spending a whole weekend in the quiet and peaceful town of Penedo, in the south of the state of Rio de Janeiro. Penedo is the most important Finnish community in Brazil, and its architecture and traditions are closely related to those of the Nordic population. It is a small town, so no heavy traffic or complications of a metropolitan area. It is a favorite destination for romantics or couples who just want a quiet weekend in the mountains.

Enzo, Vini and Vini's aunt picked a hotel that was already part of their childhood. The Hotel Latvia. Enzo and Vini used to go there as children and had a wonderful time, because the hotel's range of entertainment was almost unlimited. And the funniest thing is that, although the hotel is in the memory of both boys, they could not remember some important details.

- Vini, do you remember that the hotel has two swimming pools?

- Yes, Enzo, I remember. You even lost a cell phone there, don't you recall?

- Really?

- Yes, dummy. You lost balance and fell into the water. We were leaving that day, we had to wait for your clothes to drip dry. Very dumb.

- Shut up, Vini!

A few hours on the road and the bus made a turn towards the downtown of Penedo. Despite being a small town, as mentioned in the first paragraph, it is not easy to find street parking, since the downtown area is usually somewhat overcrowded, especially near the tourist attractions, the Santa Claus House, the Goblin Valley Mall and The Little Finland.

Hotel Latvia was on Brazil Avenue, a two-way long straight street, very well located. If they wanted, they could visit the main attractions by foot. Vini's aunt checked in, while Enzo and Vini ran to the cottage.

- Hey, boys! I have not gotten the key yet!

But it was useless. Because Enzo and Vini were already trying to open the door of the last cottage, apparently empty. The cottages were in the back of the property, right next to the swimming pool. After noticing the squishy doorknob, Enzo shoved the door forward and went in, even though he had no confirmation that that cottage was actually empty. Indeed, as it turned out, it wasn't. A boy around four years old stared at Enzo, totally confused by the situation.

- Oh, shit. - Enzo moaned. - Hello, kid.

Even though Enzo tried to cover up the mess, there was no way out of this embarrassing situation. Vini just stood there, unresponsive. And then a very beautiful woman, long straight brown hair, green eyes, thin nose, probably the boy's mother, came out of the shower at that very moment and also looked puzzled. However, that wasn't the worst thing. Because the boy's mother was technically naked and was startled to find a stranger in her room talking to her son.

- What the fuck? - She screamed and tried to hide her breasts with her arms.

- Sorry, sorry! - Enzo tried to justify. Not justifying - I thought it was my room!

- Enzo, you are a complete moron! - Vini also went into the room and gave him a hard time.

- Could you please get the fuck out of my room?

- Sure, sure. - Vini pulled Enzo's arm. - I'm so sorry!

- But you have a good rockin body! - said Enzo, in a futile attempt to make things better. Or get himself shot.

Vini closed the door and found his aunt outside, with a key in her hand and a doubtful expression.

- I'll pretend I didn't see that. - she said.

- Better not even ask. - Vini recommended.

Anyway, that would be the first of a series of upsets that weekend. But in any case, Enzo burst into the room - the right one this time - and threw his suitcase on the bed closest to the TV, to Vini's protests.

- Oh, come on, Enzo! I was going to take this bed!

- Vinicius, cut the crap, yet. The beds are the same. - said his aunt.

- It doesn't matter! Enzo always succeeds in everything!

- Well, not always. - Enzo disagreed. - I couldn't get to see that MILF's breasts.

- Very funny.

- I'm not laughing, you silly boy. I'm bloody disappointed.

- I can't believe you walked into a stranger's room.

- I've done it many times, Vini. What's your point?

- If her husband was there, we'd be out of here in black plastic bags.

Enzo smiled. Not a good sign.

- Husband?

- Uh-oh. That grin you do is never good. - Vini already predicted the worst. - What did you find out?

- She's not married.

- How can you possibly know that?

- Well, while she was shielding her beautiful headlights with her arm, I noticed that there was no ring on her left hand.

- Headlights? Oh, screw it. But i'll say it, this is gonna suck. - Vini soon complained.

- Try to behave yourself. - Vini's aunt made an important recommendation.

- Just let Enzo control the friend who lives under his womb and everything will be fine.

- What could possibly go wrong?

If Vini's aunt had known, she would have never asked that dangerous question. Because a few hours after the mess, Vini practically forced Enzo to return to the woman and son's room to apologize properly. But when he knocked on the door, there was no answer.

- They must be at dinner. - Enzo assumed.

- Is there dinner here?

Yes, the hotel supplied dinner. It wasn't an exquisite five-star like other hotels in Penedo, but it was respectable cuisine. The other guests gathered in a closed room with tables spread throughout the space.

- Great. How do we find her?

Enzo looked around.

- Just look for the most beautiful girl.

Incredibly, Enzo was right. What could it possibly mean? Trouble. Because as soon as she saw them coming closer, her green eyes could hide a lot of things, except concern.

- Hello. - said Vini. - We're sorry about what happened before.

- We do? - Enzo asked.

- Yes, we do! - Vini looked at him with an angry expression. - We really messed up. And we wanted to do it differently.

- Like what? - she asked, in a very friendly way.

- Introducing ourselves would be a great start. - Vini held out his arm. - I'm Vinicius, but all my friends call me Vini. And this is Enzo the jerk.

- Jerk Enzo. - The child imitated Vini's phrase.

- That right. - Vini started laughing.

- I'm Deborah. This is my son, Nicholas.

- Nice to meet you. - Vini smiled. - Enzo, don't you want to say something?

- I do, still.

Well, Vini was about to regret asking that question. Again.

- Are you by yourself? - Enzo asked.

- Yes, I am.

- A get-away from-someone trip, i guess?

Uh-oh.

- Indeed. My scumbag husband. Or rather, ex-husband.

- Well, if it is any consolation, you are a very attractive woman and I meant exactly what I said before.

- Thank you. In five years of marriage, he has never said a thing.

- Doesn't he have eyes?

- No, he's just too narcissistic to see two feet in front of his nose.

- Well, he doesn't know what he's missing.

Vini stared at him. And continued to stare as the two sat at the table with Vini's aunt, who showed up soon after to join them for dinner.

- What's the matter with you? - Vini asked. He didn't look happy.

- What's wrong? - Enzo didn't understand.

- Oh, cut the bullshit, Enzo! "Oh, you're an attractive woman," "your husband doesn't know what he's missed". You're shamelessly chanting the woman in front of her son! Don't you have any shame?

After a few seconds of silence, Enzo was forced to ask:

- Sorry, was that rhetorical?

- Whatever, Enzo. But if something terrible happens, don't say I didn't warn you.

- Great, is the TED meeting over already?

- Perhaps.

- Swell. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll continue my attempt to hook that Angelfish.

Enzo stood up and walked over to Deborah's table. Unaware of what was going on, Vini's aunt asked why Enzo had left. And, of course, what the hell was "Angelfish".

- Enzo will do something idiotic and we'll probably get buttfucked by that idiot.

- Do you think so?

- Auntie, if history has shown us anything, then yes, I'm sure.

It didn't take long for the night to get even better, because at precisely nine o'clock at night, as soon as the restaurant started to close its doors, a black Mercedes-AMG CL stopped in the hotel's small parking lot. A man with white hair and dark glasses, despite the fact that it was dark at night, got out of the vehicle and walked to the lobby. Enzo saw from a distance the mysterious guest's face and the Mercedes' lights flashing.

- What a beautiful car! - he said.

- What do you mean? - Deborah turned around and finally realized. - Oh, shit.

- What?

- That's my ex-husband.

Enzo's eyes widened.

- He drives a Mercedes CL?

- I guess. He likes cars.

- Well, so do I. Don't get me wrong, it's a very nice car. No wonder Hitler and his pals used to drive one of those all over Europe.

- What's the deal?

- You know, burnin' gas in the mornings and later the day burnin'...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! After the potential jailhouse jokes, Enzo returned to Vini's table, who was not waiting for him, so much so that his chair simply disappeared.

- Look who's back, sadly. - Vini said.

- Shut up, moron! Deborah's ex-husband is in the building.

- Ha! Really? - Vini started laughing. - And of course you chicken out.

- The guy lost his wife, his son, and drives an AMG CL. He must be nuts! He has a gun and uses a cowboy hat like Harrison Ford.

- How can you be sure?

Vini soon had the answer, because the man appeared in the restaurant with a much, much younger woman, who was wearing only a tight Nike jacket, while her legs were unprotected from the cold. Enzo looked at Vini and replied:

- Yeah, militia, indeed.

- It will be a long weekend. - Vini predicted. And whined.

Eleven o'clock at night. Vini went to his room after a great dinner, which was only enjoyable due to the fact that Enzo was not there. Even so, the chances of him causing an unprecedented calamity were still high, despite the hour. Those chances became higher when he noticed that Enzo failed to return to his room. Problem, was what Vini only thought.

Actually, Enzo passed the night with Deborah and her son, Nicholas, in the hotel's games room, which had a pool table, ping-pong, a TV screen, and an indoor heated pool, which was already closed because of the late hour. Anyway, all the trouble caused by Enzo was forgotten by Deborah, because her son enjoyed the presence of someone with the brain of a child. At that moment, Enzo was teaching Nicholas how to play billiard and how to hold a stick.

- You really know how to manage children. - Deborah said.

- I'm not the type to brag, but yeah, I am. - Enzo said.

Just a thought...

- Nick hasn't had a male presence at home for a long time.

- I thought the divorce was recent.

- We are not divorced. Just separated.

Enzo was confused.

- What's the difference?

- No alimony.

- Oh. Oh, shit.

- Yep.

- Anyway, your son's a good kid.

Bait it, bait it.

- And your husband is losing twice as much.

- Yeah, that's what I thought too, until I saw him screwing around a girl about your age.

Deborah didn't know exactly how old Enzo really was. But she guessed he was 17, 19 at most.

Later that night, another late guest showed up, late at night. In a black Honda Civic with xenon lights. His face couldn't be seen, but no matter to Enzo, it didn't matter what he looked like, especially driving a...

- Holy shit! - said Enzo. - What a Honda!

- Do you get excited every time you see a car?

- Well, it depends on the car, but there's no way I don't get excited near a Honda Civic. And even more so in black with xenon headlights! It is so sportive and masculine! I have multiple orgasms just by seeing one on the street.

- Did you have sex education in school by any chance?

- No, why?

- Nothing, nothing.

The Japanese vehicle kind of cut the mood, but Deborah was convinced that she had to get revenge on her ex-husband. And Enzo was the perfect conduit for her plan to explode. So, at about two in the morning, she went to her ex-husband's room in the first cottage. She knocked twice on the door. He answered.

- It's your time to be with Nick.

- Fuck it! - he complained. - Is it really?

- Yes, Souza. Yes, it is.

- Fucking hell.

Despite his complaints, Souza had to accept his son. After all, he had no choice. And, if you think about it, Enzo didn't either, because Deborah soon removed her underwear and called Enzo into the heated pool, which wasn't exactly heated at that moment. And as she touched the water, she immediately changed her mind. Sure, it would be much better to go to the cottage and have more privacy and warmth.

- You said you liked my body. - she said, teasing him. - Well, it's time to give you a first hand look.

She lay down on the bed and removed her blouse, exposing her breasts. Unfortunately, Enzo was stupid enough to leave the window open. So all the cold and wind from outside entered the cottage. The heat sensation was "North Pole", even in the middle of summer.

- Holy shit, how cold! - Enzo began to shiver. - What the cold hell is this temperature? 10 degrees in the middle of summer? Explain that, Greta!

- How do you think I feel? - Deborah said, covering her breasts with her arms again, almost a flashback to the moment they had first met.

Global cooling aside, Enzo was finally able to contemplate God's gift in the form of breasts on Deborah's body. They were the perfect size, almost like bowling balls. And, according to her, as natural as the Amazon Rainforest. Not exactly in those terms.

- Holy shit. - Enzo said. - You are so beautiful.

- You fool! Come here, already.

Deborah pulled Enzo by the coat and kissed him slowly. He tried not to move, but the shivering cold made him tremble. Or maybe it was something else. Who knows. But as soon as the kissing ceased, Enzo soon moved down to her shoulders and then her breasts. If you listen to the feedback from Russia and even Albania, they will tell you that he usually spends a lot of time in that area. More even than a baby. As it proved there, Enzo made Deborah remember the endless nights when her son would suckle on her breast late at night, but she was never going to imagine that she would have to repeat the act with someone much older than her firstborn.

- Take off your coat, moron.

After a few hours of intense pleasure and moans, Enzo ended up exhausted and laid down on Deborah's belly. With some cramps, he didn't even try to move, despite the pain in his feet and arm.

- Holy shit! - said Enzo.

The next day, Enzo woke up in bed next to Deborah. He looked to her side and smiled. Sadly, for him, the smile soon turned to misfortune pain, as he heard noises at the door. For some reason he felt compelled to answer it. When he opened it, Enzo found a boy. Or rather, Nicholas, the son of the woman who he had spent the night.

- Uh-oh. - Enzo's eyes went wide. - Now that is an image that will be hard to get out of your head, right?

If there is one thing that Enzo loves as much as the Honda Civic, Formula 1, cars, football and Phil Collins, it is the hotel's breakfast. Seriously, there was one time that he made friends with a guest in a luxury hotel just so he could enjoy the buffet meal.

It was already 10 in the morning when Enzo sat down at the table with Vini, who did not look so happy to see him again.

- What?

- Where were you?

- I got ready and came here.

- No, you idiot. Where did you spend the night?

- Do you really want to know?

Vini stopped to think. Was it really worth it?

- On second thoughts, no. - he replied. - But how much will your nonsense affect my weekend?

- My nonsense... - Enzo paused and corrected himself. - Did I do something that affected your weekend still?

- Incredibly, not yet. But something tells me that something will happen and you will be the culprit.

- How, Vini? How?

- I don't know. But that's my major concern. Not having the power to do anything because it's something you caused.

- Vini, buddy, stop worrying and enjoy your breakfast. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll choose the cereal.

But as it turned out, Enzo telling Vini not to worry is the same thing as saying, "hey, think about it for the rest of the day and expect the worst." Anyhow, Enzo then stood up and went to the main table. To evaluate the quality of a hotel, Enzo usually checks the breakfast that is offered. The more options, the better. And not only that. The more cereal options, the higher the hotel's ranking, in Enzo's head.

- Vini, three cereal options. Froot Loops, Cornflakes and Nescau.

- Which one did you get? No, no, let me guess: all of them.

- You know me very well.

- Speaking of know, where is your friend?

- I don't remember. She stayed in her room after a very hot night. She had a sweet taste, it felt like Halloween, only instead of a liquorice bullet it was a pussy bullet...

- Come on, Enzo! I'm eating, dammit!

Still, it could be worse.

Minutes later, Deborah's ex-husband made an appearance, but his girlfriend, no. Strange. But up to that point in the story, nothing to worry about. And then everything changed, as he walked over to Enzo's table and punched him in the face.

- Holy shit! You're crazy, motherfucker! - Enzo shouted, even on the floor.

- You slept with my wife, you son of a bitch!

- Who is your wife exactly?

- See? Didn't I tell you? - Vini lamented.

To make the situation better, the police appeared out of nowhere. Everyone in the restaurant raised their hands without comprehending at all what was going on.

- What the fuck? - Vini, now, was confused.

- Enzo Carvalho? - one of the policemen asked.

- Oh, boy. Here it comes. - Enzo expressed his regrets in anticipation.

- He's under arrest for the rape and murder of Deborah Fernandes.

There wasn't much to do, except for asking Vini:

- Gee, I really messed up this time, didn't I?