Every time we finish a job, the handler gives us at least a month to cool down. During this time, Master would drown himself in alcohol again and again.

We moved to a different city right after the kill; quietly, without leaving a trace. But for the people who knew us in this place, we have already moved away yesterday. In this rundown area at the edge of the city, no one cared who comes and goes. Each one had their own circumstances that nobody wants to pry into. Nobody wanted to rip away the cover of a festering wound.

Just like that, we were done and gone.

Our destination was the next city called Sijoh. After going around the mountain, it rested closer to the capital. It was a lively city known for its upcoming festival this season. I heard it was a celebration that honors and remembers the greatness of the hero that protected the city hundreds of years ago. That had nothing to do with us though. The way we were moving closer to the capital means that our next job may have to be in there.

I should not concern myself with that yet. Master told me that adequate rest is important.

On the ongoing job, Master usually wore a dark colored shirt under a black leather flight jacket, black army pants, and stylized army boots. On idle days he wore dark colored long sleeve polo tucked in his jeans and a vest where he hides a number of blades. Master usually let his hair and beard grew that made his appearance messy. But before the hit, he would always cut his hair short and clean his appearance like some sort of ritual. Too much hair in the face gets in the way, he told me. I did the same, following his example. I let my hair grow like normal and then cut it short few days before the hit just like Master. Having this short hairstyle was refreshing. It felt light. It did not get in the way of my vision. It did not get tangled in anything while chasing the target.

The night we arrived in our new apartment, we were very tired from the nonstop travel but when Master opened the refrigerator, it was filled with bottles of beer. He did not waste time gulping them down. I want him to at least have a decent rest after everything but I am too tired to nag him. I left him sitting on the living room’s floor surrounded by his beloved. I picked a room and dropped like a log on the bed.

The guild handled all of our living expenses. We can live as luxurious as we want but splurging was not good for our status. I just enjoy the peaceful times when I did not have to keep watch of the targets’ activities and movements.

When we settled in our next place, Master spent the rest of our vacation idling while I am not allowed to take a break from training. However, a few months ago, I was permitted to go around the city on my own. Back then, I was only allowed to stroll around the apartment we were staying in; not far outside.

After being given more freedom to move on my own, I made use of it to give my vacation time more sense. However, I did not want to bring trouble to Master. I blended in with the crowd and acted as if I was never there.

Since I was old enough to understand, Master never failed to remind me that he was my parents’ murderer. He killed both of them because he wanted to raise a successor. It was never done before but the guild allowed him; most likely because of curiosity as well. For a child that has no way of surviving, Master taught me everything about survival and assassination. The handler taught me how to read and write, because Master sucks at teaching those stuff. Once I learned how to read, everything else was easier to study on my own as long as I have the book. Through practices and on the job training, Master passed all of his techniques to me little by little; for the past fourteen years.

I did not think I was raised wrong. In the first place, I had no basis for what it means to be raised the right anyway. As far as my observation, there are other kids that are living a life more complicated than mine. I had seen some children beg for food and still starve. Some get beat up on the streets.

Me, on the other hand…

I can eat more than three times a day if I wanted to. If not required in a job, I can sleep as long as I wanted. We always lived in a good place. There were also times when Master took me for hiking and camping. Once in a while we can spend a few weeks in resort for vacation. Those were great experiences, it made me happy.

Master never beat me. He only hit me once. Even that time was a lesson. It was because I asked him something that should never have gotten into my head.

It was that time when I was very curious as to why Master would stay being an assassin for Vicious, the assassin’s guild we work for. I never saw him enjoy killing. He was not the kind of person to revel in the thrill of being the hunter cornering its prey. Even the payment we got after each job, Master did not find it rewarding at all.

It was like he was wearing a white blank mask that covers everything that defines him as a person.

“Master,” I called.

He gave me a tired look.

“I don’t particularly hate this kind of life. More like I do not feel anything towards assassination. I am not attached to this job… and I don’t have anything I want to do either.”

I wanted to know, what’s the point of faithfully following the guild? I wanted to know…Why he was trying so hard to protect this hollow life-style.

Master frowned looking at me. “What are you trying to say?”

“Is it really okay to just live to stay alive?”

For a moment I got a glimpse of his blank expression changing. His eyes widened; color drained from his face. Then his palm flew across my cheeks. “You are not allowed to think that way!” He shouted, gritting his teeth. He grabbed my shoulders and then looked straight into my eyes. I can feel his arms shaking. “If you are looking for purpose, there is none.”

I bit my lip while looking down. My cheek flushed red. “Then, why continue like this?”

“Don’t ever ask that again.” He said as he pats my head. “Do not question anything. Just don’t think about it. Finishing a job is our top priority. You are not allowed to die before me. Khali, do you understand?”

We were not allowed to think for ourselves. I was blessed enough like living that.

I guess I got concerned over something I should have just ignored. But… I wondered… what could it be, that thing that broke his mask? At that time, I was sure. That was the face a man taken over by fear. It was something we are so familiar with. It was similar to the expression of a person who was about to lose his life.

Master was not afraid to die. It was baffling. But at some point while growing up I somehow figured everything out. I was able to connect the dots together… And at the same time I learned that his reason tied me tighter into this kind of life. I was still too young that time so, I did not immediately understand what he wanted to tell me. Through the years I spent with him, I think I might have already understood what he meant.

Master was not afraid of losing his life rather he was afraid of losing something he valued more than his life.

Completing the job is the most important thing. Since then I never brought up that topic again.

I will keep my Master’s teachings.

The next day, I woke up in the afternoon due to the sound of the doorbell. Master was rolling passed out on the floor as expected. His beard was starting to grow again. He left his brunette curly hair messy with silvery white strands that stand out. The color and the curl of our hair is similar, it was just that Master is growing old fast. I carefully threaded the living room, kicking the empty bottles to the side. The amount of trash inside this small apartment grew into a mountain just after a night.

When I opened the door, a familiar face greeted me. The handler was there.

I hate that man.