The funeral was a world event. Every single country had declared it a national holiday.

Millions had gathered to pay their respects, each crowded behind a police barricade while the chosen few had made it behind the tape to Eternity Hill Cemetery for heroes. Sam looked up the stairs that led to the top of the hill. They looked like they kept going past the top and into the sky. It was an optical illusion created by an artist. He remembered the media talking about it weeks ago when this place was being built.

“How you doing, man?”

“Huh?” Sam responded, turning to see a man he knew well standing next to him. “Oh, hey Austin. Almost didn’t recognize you without the suit.”

“Yeah. I don’t find many reasons to put that on these days.”

“No. I guess not,” Sam said, remembering how the media had treated Austin after the incident.

“You doing ok?” Austin asked.

“Yeah. Just still in shock, I guess. What brings you here?” As soon as Sam said it he regretted it, thinking it sounded like he was saying Austin didn’t belong here. He should have asked who he was here for. That would have been better.

“Violet Thunder was my cousin.” Austin replied.

Sam nodded, wondering if they had been close, but thought it was too insensitive to ask.

“Well, I guess I should probably make my way up the stairs. They probably want to start soon,” Austin said.

“Yeah, same here,” Sam replied.

They made their way up the stairs. As they climbed, they passed a man with a cane who was having trouble climbing.

“At least we won’t be the last ones there,” Sam said nervously.

“That speedster. He lost his foot in the battle.”

“Oh, God. Was he there? I feel like such a jackass.”

“No, in the battle with diabetes.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. Still jackass.”

They continued to climb the stairs in silence.

“Have you seen any other big names here?”

“Just Black Matter.”

“Is he still alive?”

“Turn 92 just last month.”

“Anyone else?”

“That’s about it.”

“Really? I kind of expected a bigger turnout.”

“Everyone else is dead.”

“Geez, has it really gotten that bad?”

“Yes. Haven’t you been watching the news?”

“I really haven’t had a chance,” admitted Sam.

“What do you mean you haven’t had a chance? What have you been doing this whole time? Sitting at giant fortress doing nothing?” asked Austin.

“Catastrophe tower? I haven’t been able to get in. Catastrophe was the only one with the code.”

“So what have you been doing?”

“Sleeping in my car, mostly.”

“What? Don’t you have any money?”

“I had a credit card from Catastrophe, but it only had $500 on it.”

“Dude that sucks.”

“You’re telling me.”

As they crested the stairs, they saw the monument that led to the optical illusion of the stairs ascending into heaven. It was a sculpture of Capt. Catastrophe holding up a crumbling tower as children huddled underneath him for protection.

“Well,” muttered Austin.

“Yep. They really nailed him. You know minus the beer belly and absolute hatred for children.”

Austin pointed to a couple seats in the back, the only two left remaining. Sam nodded, and they took the seats. One hundred caskets lay out in front of them, each with their own headstone. Each casket had at least one body part in it. No one was sure whose part was whose or if that part belong to a hero or a villain, but the villains weren’t being remembered today. There were a thousand more ceremonies all over the world, just like this one. Some of them for individual heroes in their hometowns, others for specific hero teams. But this one was the one that would be remembered in history. If for nothing else, than it was the funeral of Capt. catastrophe. The funeral of hope.

Sam could see the undertaker unloading the last coffin in the distance with the help of a single assistant. How strange it was to see a coffin lifted so easily. He remembered that all the remains that had been found could have easily fit in a single coffin. The undertaker and his assistant finished placing the coffin on the stand and then stepped to the side next to their vintage 1940s hearse, placing their hands reverently in front of them. Sam realized that the mortician and his assistant were wearing vintage clothes that matched the style of the hearse.

“We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of heroes,” the mayor of Titan city began. “We’re here to mourn that with their passing they took a piece of each of us with them.”

ChheEEEee went the sound of a pipe organ.

The mayor stopped briefly, looking around, but was unable able to see where the sound was coming from as it was coming from behind him. The mortician had pulled out an electric keyboard and just performed a horrible rendition of a crow being stepped on in what Sam could only hope was a sound check.

The mayor continued on. “We also celebrate their sacrifice so that each one of us could live.”

The organ sounded off again. Was that the opening to In-a-gada-da-vida? The mayor stopped, looking around once again for the source of the music as he turned around, following the eyes that starred past him to the mortician.

“Sorry to interrupt that moving eulogy. I am Necronos and this is Cadavera,” the mortician said, holding out a hand to present his assistant. She plucked the strings of her bass guitar. “And together we are The Coffin Collectors!” Necronos started back in on the organ, this time sounding less like sixties psychedelic rock and more cathedral gothic with a heavy overtone of doom and gloom.

Sam wasn’t a fan. He also didn’t think this was the time to promote their band. The mayor must’ve thought the same thing as he verbally tried to shut them down, with no avail. Sam had to stand from his chair as those before him had already done so and he could no longer see. The mayor was now yelling, but the music coming from the two was almost deafening. There must have been speakers in the hearse.

Austin nudged Sam with his elbow and pointed to the coffins.

Sam turned his attention in their direction. They were glowing, but it wasn’t until they started moving that other people started taking notice. Coffins rocked back and forth, slowly at first, then violently. Once they started levitating was when people started to worry. What was going on? Was this some kind of funeral show? When coffins started boosting open and bits of dead heroes were flying around, they got the hint that these guys weren’t here in an attempt to get their careers off the ground. People started looking around for someone to save them. They were at a hero’s funeral. There had to be heroes in attendance. Speedster pulled out a chair from beneath a standing attendee. He wasn’t about to be on the stairs when everyone else realized the trouble they were in and stampeded down them. He decided to just have a seat and play dead if need be.

The pieces of heroes swirled around, creating a vortex that sucked in all surrounding light. Through the darkness, a figure was forming. Sam’s hands glowed in anticipation. The darkness dissipated as a newly formed monster settled to the ground, stretching the malformed limbs of its patchwork body. It opened its different colored eyes for the first time.

“It’s alive,” Necronos shouted as the monster let out a roar.

Crisper the hero with the power to make things slightly colder was the first to lead the charge. Followed by a Gelatin-man who had lost the right to use the name Jello-man after his sponsorship had been pulled, when it had been found out that he had been using his power to run underground wrestling matches. Then there was a pause as Pogo mounted his stick and headed into battle. Pogo wasn’t even a hero, he was just some guy that performed Pogo tricks and kids’ birthdays. His only claim to fame is that he was Camo Joe’s brother. But here he was hopping into battle with the hopes that this would be the boost to his career that he had been waiting for.

Sam’s hands burned green as steam rose from his clenched fists. Austin’s hand on the shoulder was the only thing keeping you from joining in the fray.

“Don’t run into battle without knowing what you’re getting into,” Austin said.

So they watched as others fled.

Gelatin-man shot out blocks of gel that acted as barricades, then Crisper came behind him touching each one and cooling it to a temperature that lettuce would fear. This caused the gel to solidify into a more durable substance. Pogo used these barricades as platforms to launch his stunts to new heights. The monster reached with a roar, swinging as Pogo did a triple back flip over the beast. Gelatin-man was now using his powers to create a slide of slime that he was using to surf his way around the creature, building a wall while Pogo kept it distracted using his skills to stay just out of the thing’s reach. Sam could tell from their teamwork they had been working the birthday party circuit together. As Gelatin-man continued to build the wall around the brute, Crisper gave everything he had to cool and harden the structure in the hopes that the wall would be able to absorb anything that the monster could throw at it. Pogo performed a Triple Lindsay as Gelatin-man finished the dome over the creation, effectively sealing it in. Both Pogo and Gelatin-man landed next to Crisper, who took his hands off the structure and turned his attention to the mortician Necronos.

“You want to tell me what in the hell is going on here?” Crisper asked.

Necronos looked at him with a blank stare. “I thought it was pretty obvious.” He turned to Cadaver. “Didn’t you think it was pretty obvious?”

She nodded and let out a groan in agreement.

“Well, why don’t you spell it out for the rest of us?” asked Crisper.

“Destroy the city, kill some heroes, and possibly take over the world. It’s all pretty standard stuff.”

“What do you want?” asked Pogo.

Necronos has held up a hand, ticking off his demands on his fingers. “Destroy the city, kill some heroes, and possibly take over the world. I’m still not sure about the last one. I’m just going to play it by ear.”

“I’m sorry to say your plan stops here,” Crisper said.

“Does it though?” Necronos asked, cocking his head to the side. “Kill them...” Necronos paused. “I guess I should have thought of a name for him before this.”

“Grr gaa ga ge grr?” Cadaver growled.

“Of course it’s a male. Did you see the size of him?”

“Gaa grr ga gr.”

“No. I guess it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Grr grr ga grr,” Cadavera said, putting her hands on her hips.

“Yes, it does have some lady body parts. Fine. How about I just call it the monster? Does that work for you?”

Cadavera shrugged. “Grr..”

“What do you mean you don’t care? You just made a whole deal about it.”

“Ga ga grr.”

“Whatever.” Necronos turned his attention back to the heroes. “What are you still doing here? Why are you alive?” Necronos looked at his monster, who was still encased in not Jell-O for legal reasons.

“Face it, Necronos, the gig is over. Give up,” Crisper said.

“It’s not over. He just can’t hear me.” Necronos picked up a microphone. “Hey monster, kill these jerks.”

The monster let out a roar and banged on its prison.

“Just face it. It’s over. Give up. There’s no way it’s breaking through a three foot gummy wall,” Gelatin-man said.

The green dome exploded in a shrapnel of gummy goodness, leaving a heaving brute of body parts.

Necronos pointed at the heroes before him. The monster let out a scream, arching its back and raising its arms. It was a rally cry that may or may not have made Gelatin-man create fudge. This was never confirmed because a beam shot out of the monster’s eye and hit Gelatin-man in the head. A few seconds later his insides were his outsides, and on the ground, the headstones, and even Necronos was wiping bits of Gelatin from his eyes. Cadavera just stood there, bathed in body parts. Austin tugged on Sam. Time to go.

Pogo reacted jumping into action and fleeing the scene. The monster punched the ground, sending a shock wave and a crack into the earth’s crust that hunted Pogo down and swallowed him up.

“Come on, time to go!” Austin said.

“We have to help. Someone has to help,” Sam said under his breath as he stood there frozen.

The monster turned his hand and squeezed it tight. The crevice slammed shut with a pop that Sam feared came from Pogo himself.

That was enough for Sam. He turned and ran, only looking over his shoulder to see if Austin was following. He was. Crisper had the same idea and was right on their tail. Unfortunately, the monster wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. It took to the air in a brief moment of flight before crashing down on top of Crisper and turning him into a puddle.

Sam only caught a brief glance at the monster kneeling over and scooping up the goo that had been Crisper and shoving it into its mouth. It wasn’t pursuing them. At least not for now. They hurried down the stairs, taking two or three at a time. Sam tripped. He tumbled down a set of stairs, taking out Speedster in the process. Austin grabbed Speedster and hoisted him back to his feet. “Are you going to be ok?” Austin asked.

Speedster waved him on. “I’ll be ok. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

Austin wished him luck with a nod and followed Sam down the last flight of stairs. “Where’s your car?”

The parking lot was a ghost town, except for a handful of vehicles that still remained.

“Let’s take yours,” Sam said.

“It’s all the way in the back where. Where’s yours?”

Sam pointed to the AMC only a few rows back. For a moment Austin thought that maybe they should take his car, but there was no time. They passed a news van. Oh god, were they still up there? They could hear the maniacal laughter of Necronos cascading down off the hill. Another car zoomed past them, escaping as they came up to the AMC. Sam hopped in as Austin stood outside the passenger door.

“Get in,” screamed Sam.

“You need to unlock it,” Austin replied.

“It’s not locked!”

Austin opened the door.

“Why would I lock it? Whose going to steal it?” Sam asked.

Austin climbed in and slammed the door as Sam fumbled with the keys. With a quick turn and a couple of groans, the engine sputtered to life. Sam eased the car forward.

“Floor it!” Austin yelled.

“If I give it too much gas before it’s warmed up it will stall out.” Sam stopped the car, waiting for Speedster to cross in front of them.

Austin impatiently tapped his foot. “Come on. Come on.”

Sam nervously played with the steering will while stealing glances toward the top of the hill, looking for any sign of trouble. As soon and Speedster had passed them Sam smashed the gas pedal to halfway briskly, pulling the car from the parking lot and onto the main road.

Austin looked out the passenger window to see a baby sitting on the side of the road waving at him. He cranked his head to look out the back window. The baby was gone, but he could see the monster topple the statue of Capt. Catastrophe. “Were going to need a team.”