Lucy sat in her room. She always sat in her room. In fact, she hated everything outside of her room. Her mother called from downstairs, or should she say yelled? Her mother was always yelling. She roller her eyes. “What?!”

“Get down here.”

“Ugh.” Lucy climbed off her bed. The only thing worse than her mom yelling at her was having to leave her room. She made it halfway down the stairs, her ten-year-old legs already aching from the effort of having to do something someone else wanted. “What?” she shouted again.

“I thought I told you to take the trash out?”

“I did.”

“Then why is it still here?”

“I will.”

“Do it now.”

Lucy rolled her eyes so hard it would cause her retina to detach sixty years later. She had been on a few of these back-and-forth battles with her mother, and her mother always won. Mostly because she had a house and a car and Lucy didn’t. But one day that would all change, and on that day she was going to drive her mom straight to the retirement home and drop her off.

She grabbed the trash and headed outside with a harrumph. Once outside, she made her way to the garbage where she threw the can lid open with as much distaste as she could muster and sent the trash bag crashing inside it as hard as she could without actually breaking the bag. Even though she wanted to be sure her mother could hear her protest, she didn’t want to spend the afternoon picking up bits of spaghetti and used paper towels. She slammed the lid back down, her protest being finally over except for the ceremonial stomp back to her room. There was a loud buzzing. Was it coming from the trash can? She shook it. She couldn’t tell. It seemed like more of a humming than a buzzing. She shook the can again. Where was it coming from? It seemed like it was getting louder or closer. A green light enveloped her. She jerked her head up. Her eyes twitched like she was having a stroke. She was starring right into one of those stupid led lights. She stepped out from under its light and looked up at it. It was one of Barry’s drones. Barry was her brother, and he was annoying. Lucy had notebooks dedicated to his torture. Including a pun of the month subscription just waiting to be filled out in his name.

“Do not move, human, we are trying to enslave you.” said the ship, which was nothing like Barry’s other drones. This one had no visible propellers and resembled a frisbee more than it did the traditional quad-copter. He had clearly gotten a new retro sci-fi themed one for his birthday. She would make sure he paid for his insolence. The drone flew back over her, bathing her in its light. She stepped away.

“Human, get back under our mind control beam,” the drone said as it copied her movement.

“No,” she said, swatting at it like it was a butterfly. She hated butterflies.

“Do what we say or we will destabilize your molecules.”

Lucy stuck out her tongue, taking a swing at the machine.

“Fire the Demolecularizing Particle Beam of Doom!”

A ray of purple light shot from the tiny ship right into her left eye.

“Ow,” she screamed, grasping at the eye. “Dang it Barry that hurt.” She said, bending down and scooping up a handful of red pumice stones from the rock garden.

“Gosh darn it, Phlembrock. I said the Demolecularizing Particle Beam of Doom, not the Molecularizing Particle Beam of Boom Shaka.”

“Now you’ve just infused her with the power of time and space. We are completely screwed.”

“Sir?”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m raving like a lunatic.”

“Sir, the mic is on.”

There was a silence followed by an almost inaudible, “Oh, no.”

Lucy opened her eye and winced. It was like emerging from a dark cave into the sunlight. It hurt. There was too much to take in, and then a moment of clarity. She could see everything, not just in this reality, but in every reality. Every possibility of every butterfly wing flap. She could see them all played out before her simultaneously. She saw a world where her house never existed, only trees and wilderness. She saw a world where lizard people were having a picnic and everyone was laughing and happy. Oh, how she hated them. One where she was standing, two inches to the left, and so many more. It’s like watching TV with all the channels on top of each other. If she focused really hard, she could bring one to the surface.

“Quick, fire the Demolecularizing Particle Beam of Doom.”

A purple beam shot forth from the ship, striking Lucy in the right shoulder.

“You idiot, you shot her with the Molecularizing Beam of Boom Shaka again.”

“Yes, sir.”

Another purple beam erupted from the ship, missing Lucy completely.

“Why did you shoot her again?”

“Yes, sir.”

Another beam fired. This time shooting her in the knee.

“Stop shooting her.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why the heck did you keep shooting her?”

“You told me to, sir.”

“I most certainly did not. In fact, I did the complete opposite of that.”

“You said, again, sir.”

There was a slight pause. “Ok. well, sure I did say that. but there were a lot of other things I said before I said again.”

A purple beam shot out and hit Lucy in the forehead, bringing her out of her enchantment with other dimensions, looking at unicorn cats and man eating gold fish.

“Stop doing that.”

“Yes, sir.”

Lucy blinked her eyes and rubbed her forehead. Screw these guys. She took a swing, missing the ship while making contact with several others which left her confused, distressed, and ever perturbed. She took another wild swing, this time the ship narrowly dodging it.

“Holy crap,” shouted a tiny voice from inside the ship. “Tell me next time you do that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tell me before you do it, not after.”

“Yes, sir.”

Out of nowhere, a squirrel landed on the ship with an acorn in hand.

“What the heck is that?”

“It appears to be an orangoutang, sir.”

“What’s it doing?”

“I believe it’s trying to use us to open a coconut.”

“Get us out of here!”

“We are not on Pier, we are on Earth, sir.”

“Skitzip, you’re relieved of duty.”

“I’m Skitzip, he’s Tubly.”

“My kingdom for a competent crewman.”

“The orangutan is gone, sir.”

“Then get us out of here. This place. Get us out of this place!”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

And then they were gone, leaving Lucy with purple smoke coming from her eye and lighting flashes around her.