《The Bleeding Memoir》Chapter 2 -Support

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Chapter 2 -Support

Gregor sat in the back of the carriage, watching the rolling hills as it carried him through the countryside. It had been almost two years since he left home in Letalona, the capital of the Felian Empire. They were on their way back after visiting the southern capital of Katentin. The city in the south used to be the home to the royal family of the Queendom of Tell, but nowadays it served as the southernmost administrative center of the Empire. The Queendom had been split into three provinces: Hise, Roclifland, and Sahlolon. There still was a queen ruling in the province of Hise, but she answered to the emperor, and was no longer the primary seat of power. The remaining two provinces were both experiments in their own right, Roclifland had a people appointed governor, while Sahlolon’s governor was handpicked by Gregor’s father, Garshik. They had spent more time in Hise than any other province. Perhaps because it used to be his father’s home, not that his father gave the slightest indication he had any connection with the place.

This was Gregor’s first time accompanying his father on the octennial tour of the empire, and his feelings were… mixed. He missed his grandfather, and although getting to see new lands and architecture was exciting, at times it was overwhelming. Meeting new faces, making friends with people of importance that would one day answer to him but now felt as though they were equals. Then leaving them after a few days to move to the next province and repeat the process again, and again, and again.

In the beginning he was excited by the prospect of spending most of the day riding alongside the convoy but a mere three days later he gave up, unaccustomed to long hours of riding he opted for the carriage. And although he got used to it, it never served as a rest, for after the first week on the road his lessons resumed. He was forced to study while riding, and if he needed to read or do any writing, then it was back to the carriage. But despite it all, there was one aspect of the journey served as an unexpected blessing; this was his first instance spending a significant amount of time with his family. The four of them, his parents and younger sister, grew closer over the two years of travel, and Gregor was beginning to connect with his father as they rode. Gregor suspected it was because he was older now, perhaps there was a basis on which they could speak. At least every third day, they would talk as they rode either in or alongside the carriage.

As he listened to the clip-clop of the horse’s hooves on the cobbled road and watched the fluffy clouds drift through the sky, he recalled yesterday’s conversation. His father had come up to him, flanked by his personal guard. He rode until they were side by side, and given their differences, Gregor wondered what they must look like to the guards. His father was dressed in regal clothing with an ornate chest piece and purple cape that hung over his shoulders. He sat upright with a perfectly cut beard and close-cropped black hair that harshly contrasted silver crown which rested atop it, making it stand out even more than it already did. Despite being well-dressed, Gregor felt intimidated riding besides his father’s impressive figure. The man was an emperor in every manner of conduct, while Gregor was just… Gregor. He did not ride as impressively, his hair was longer and messier, not to mention slightly lighter. He had inherited his mother’s green eyes as opposed to the dark, almost black, eyes his father and grandfather shared. Sometimes Gregor found himself questioning whether he was related to the emperor at all.

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Garshik indicated to his guard that he wanted space, and the five of them backed off, leaving father and son with some privacy. It had not been their first conversation, far from it, so Gregor felt comfortable. In fact, he had been looking forward to it.

“What is the purpose of an emperor?”

The question had caught Gregor off guard, and it took him a moment before replying apprehensively, “To be figurehead?”

Garshik paused, then laughed surprised by the answer.

“Is that all you think I do?”

“Well, no… but… partially?”

“Listen here my boy, ruling comes down to one thing. Responsibility. People enjoy being told what to do, especially if it improves their life, for in the off chance that it does not, they have someone else to blame. When a man is an expert in his field, like the smith who has forged one thousand blades, he will not appreciate being told how to swing a hammer. But when it comes to larger ordeals, like cleaning up after an army has swept through the land, or when draught has decimated the fields, that is when the people look to others for solutions. Even the various kings, governors, and queens who rule throughout this empire of ours, whose duty it is to rule, enjoy having someone else that can shoulder burden so that they may live the rest of their lives the way they wish to. They want others to make the decisions and bear responsibility while maintaining their own illusion of choice. At times it may seem like you are doing nothing but sitting as a figurehead, but even that bears its own importance. The emperor must stand tall and reliable, he must never shout over his own people to be heard, and when faced with a crisis he needs to be the people’s reassurance. The emperor must be able to make decisions, for indecision is a sign of weakness and disregard. Most of the time the decisions you make will be inconsequential in truth, but they will still matter to the people that it concerns. In cases such as those, the people need to become convinces that the decision you made was in their best interest -such as a simple decision over which emblem suits their province better. Does it matter whether it is the lion or the bear? Or if the colors are red with yellow or white with black? Although… this may not have been the best example, can you guess why?”

“Does it have to do with lions being more brave?”

“Lions are commonly associated with bravery, but who would like to tussle with bear? Yes, it will affect their self-image to a degree, but either one can be construed as positive. The sleeping bears that rise to fight for their own, passive but when threatened stand tall against any threat that may come. So, self-image is one of the options, but consider another possibility.”

Gregor thought for a moment, uncomfortable with being put on the spot. Despite having spent over a year with his father as their family moved about the empire, he still did not feel entirely at ease around him. It did not help that his admiration for his father had grown, and now he wanted to impress him more than ever. He looked across from him and saw his father patiently waiting.

Studying the reins on his saddle to avoid eye contact, he mumbled a half-hearted reply, “I am not sure… is it the visibility of the colors, or perhaps uniqueness?”

“Gregor, look at me. There, was that so hard to do? Now, even if you do not know the answer to a question, you do not need to answer it by stating that you are not sure. What did I say about indecision?”

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“A ruler should be decisive.”

“Yes, now in the case that you are unsure, and wish to know more, it is good to ask questions like you did, it shows interest and a willingness to learn. It does this while giving you information, and I will get back to this, it is an important topic. But your questions must be phrase differently. Try again, but this time with conviction.”

This time Gregor looked at his father as he spoke clearly, asking, “Does it have to do with the visibility of the colors or uniqueness compared to other provinces?”

Garshik nodded, “That’s better, but no, those are not the most important. While individuality may spur pride in some hearts, there are other ways to achieve it. Now tell me, how would a person go about creating these emblems?”

“Hold a competition among artists where they can submit designs, then pick the best of the lot. Once a design is picked it can be given to tailors to embroider on to uniforms, and artists can copy the design onto equipment such as shield.”

“Alright, now who will pay the expense for this?”

Then it dawned on Gregor, “the state will pay for it, and their treasuries are ours…”

“Yes, but this can be both good and bad. It is a matter of time. Consider the cost of dyes and availability, think of the time taken to produce a single piece and the complexity as well as level of skill needed to produce it. When I say it is a matter of time, I did not mean the length of time to produce considerable quantities. I was referring to the state of the empire at the time the decision will be made, more specifically, the state of the treasuries and whether or not it will be an unnecessary burden.”

Garshik paused then for a sip of water and to make sure that his son had a moment to absorb the information. It was a lot for the boy to take in, but it was explained clear enough for him to understand.

“You mentioned that it can be both good and bad and that a consideration would be made to see if it will be an unnecessary burden, does this mean at times it will be a necessary burden?” Gregor asked, immersed in the conversation, and interested in hearing the answer.

Garshik looked at his son for a moment, impressed by how quickly he grasped some of the concepts, “Yes, at times it is better to go for the more costly, more complex options. They serve not only as excellent learning opportunities, thereby driving up the quality of craftsmanship over time, but they also stimulate the economy by spending the money in a manner that gives back to the public -who then spend it elsewhere. Of course, this becomes impossible if the money needs to be spent elsewhere. But this form of investment into the people is important. It provides jobs and spurs competition among individuals. A somewhat similar, but again different example, would be roads -infinitely more important and beneficial- they are an investment that everyone benefits from. The people gain the ability to move from city to city, merchants can access a larger clientele, and perhaps most importantly they army can move faster and establish reliable supply trains.”

His son picked up, “But essentially both are still investments, right? It is just that one is more important and should take more of my time than the other. Well, not my time, the emperor’s time. Your time, and money.”

Garshik nodded again, “Precisely, and this brings me back to my original point. At times, the decisions you have to make will be…non-decisions. Or at least decisions of no consequence. And this depends on what?”

“Money, time, image, energy” Gregor replied, recalling one of their previous conversations about the resources available to a ruler.

“More often than not, this is all it will boil down to. Being emperor is only a matter making decisions and accepting responsibility.”

Garshik watched his son, hoping for some disagreement, but the boy simply looked burdened.

After some time, Gregor spoke up, “Is it not too much for one person to bear?”

His father smiled then, “It is, and that is why the task is divided. The emperor must be self-sufficient and capable, but for an empire to run smoothly, there needs to be more than one person tending to it. Advisors, generals, governors, and other rulers under the emperor, taking care of their own provinces -each with their own set of advisors, scribes, clerks and so on. And that is why the emperor must stand tall and reliable, especially at the times when it may seem as though the empire is running itself.”

Garshik looked at his son intently, and with a serious tone continued, “But not all those that are around you will seek to help you. There are those that will lie, steal, and manipulate for money and power. There will be those that dress themselves up as you friends so that they may curry your favor. Sometimes those that are closest to you will be the ones to stab you in the back when you are at your most vulnerable. And that is why you are learning everything. That is why you must be the best among them all. You must know mathematics, economics, politics, sciences, fencing, strategy, history. You must be stronger and sharper. Rely on others, but know what they are doing, enough so that you may catch their lies. Be careful who you trust, and what you trust them with. With any luck, you will not have to deal with such hardships.”

At the time, the irony of his father’s words was lost on him.

--

Returning to Letalona felt foreign to Gregor. It had been his first time leaving the capital of the empire, his first time out of the royal palace, and it was not for a short period either. Two years and three months later the capital was a nostalgic memory. Familiar stone buildings with massive arches and countless towering domes built upon swells of land hid the few trees of green, creating a maze of structures interrupted only by wide roads. They were riding through one of them now, uphill towards the highest point in the city, towards the palace. Gregor saw the people watching with reverence as the emperor rode before them. He tried imitating his father as best he could, but he knew it was forced. There was no way he could be as perfect as the man that waved to his people with such confidence.

Come on Gregor, you can do this. You are his son for crying out loud. You are the next emperor! These will be your people too!

Straightening in his saddle he turned his head to the left, seeing a man as old as his father. They locked eyes and Gregor nodded, acknowledging him. Gregor was still too nervous to smile, but he saw the man grin and bow his head in response, and Gregor turned to the left, repeating the process. His father saw him from the corner of his eye, and his mouth quirked up in a small smile. A short time later, Gregor’s nervousness and apprehension were gone. He was waving to people here and there, he had even needed to slow down once he realized he was doing it too much.

Gregor noticed that father’s countenance had changed. He was no longer waving left and right, he looked forwards, riding somberly. Gregor was perplexed as to why, but he and the rest of the convoy followed in suit. Children that were watching the procession were also confused, but those that were older knew what was going to come next. The citizens followed the end of the convoy as they road towards the palace, and when they reached the open courtyard at the end of the street, the procession ended. The people stopped, as did half of the convoy’s guards. His father continued, turning left, then right, up the ramp that led to the palace gates. The ramp leveled out before sloping downwards once more, creating a U-shaped carriage way that stood high above the courtyard beneath it. At the top, in front the palace, his father dismounted while the carriage escorting his mother and sister rode on through the gates behind him. Alone, Garshik walked towards a semi-circular terrace that protruded above the courtyard below. The difference in height hid him from the masses below, but as he walked up the six stairs and towards the railing of the terrace he slowly came into view. It was a stark difference from when they had walked in through the gates of the city. Here, there was no cheering. No flowers being thrown, no instruments playing. Silence gripped the courtyard.

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