《That Guy Is Boring》Chapter 18 - The smoker's gift (no, it's not cancer). (Part 1)

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The early morning light slowly began to break through Roberto's still half-closed eyelids. The temperature in the room had never dropped below the threshold of tolerance and the 'blankets', fortunately I might add, had done their dirty work. Having said that, however, not even that relatively comfortable awakening was enough to get him up and running.

Of course, he had never been a morning guy, but that detail was only responsible for part of his renewed desire to stay nice and quiet under the covers. In fact, although he felt his body rested, from the moment he had been awakened, he almost had the impression of not having slept at all. Perhaps it was due to a side effect of his Personal Skill, but the mental fatigue had not gotten any lighter. In fact, it had done him the courtesy of making it worse.

Unfortunately for him though, the others were already nice and energetic, ready for a new day; which of course made them noisy despite the hour. Alex even gave the sleepyhead a second pat on the back when he saw that the first one wasn't enough, saying in the process, "Oh! Sabrina's making breakfast."

Hearing about food was already a good start, but something was still missing. He could easily tolerate the fairy princess pats Alex was giving him and go back to sleep, having now pulled the blankets over his forehead to block out the light that was bothering him. Things could very well have stayed that way for at least another hour or maybe an hour and a half. In fact, let's make it two because everyone likes round numbers.

However, against his will, he remembered that he had been sent to a strange world where there was a system similar to those in video games. Not only that, apparently he was now part of a team, composed without him having the slightest ability to choose the members, and probably that his own survival would be greatly affected by the performance of the team.

Eh... That's cool... Wow...

"I'm awake, I'm awake... Don't shit me with those fingers or I will rip them off," he then delivered in good spirits with the same graceful tone and well-hidden effort with which a woman would bring a person into the world. Alex, understandably, walked away; returning to wait impatiently in his little corner for Sabrina to finish making the food.

"$%£%$%####..." Avoiding translating the various, and fancy, curses Roberto continued to throw until he was fully up from the small couch that served as his bed; we can just say right after that he lit a cigarette without bothering with the fact that he barely seemed to have an expression on his face and only then headed in the direction of the bathroom.

Ah, right. Another one of the previous day's conquests had been to set up a 'bathroom', taking advantage of the already existing tiny toilet at the back of the place. To get there, it was necessary to go through the back door and cut horizontally through the small storeroom to an additional door, daughter of Satan, which for some reason did not have a handle

The space inside was really big: if it had been one and a half square meters it would have been quite an achievement. It was basically a closet with a sink and a toilet bowl that had perhaps seen better days. Not that they could use any of those two technologically advanced items anyway, as there was no running water in the pipes. So; when you wanted to relieve your bladder there was the appropriate bucket, when you needed to do something more substantial there was another bucket with enough water in it to keep everything from drying out and, finally, when washing your hands at the end of those adventures there was a third bucket ready in the corner. At least they had stolen enough soap for a few dozen lives, at least that.

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Roberto in any case did not complain about the thing, finding it from his point of view mostly ingenious and easy to keep up, since then the contents of all three buckets could be thrown out of the small window. Of where the whole thing would fall then he could care less. No, instead those who had to accept these emergency measures reluctantly were the girls, understandable and easy to imagine, but above all was Mario.

He, more than anyone else, had been a pain in the ass, in Alex and Roberto's words, because he didn't want to shit in a bucket, again in Alex and Roberto's words. But since there were not many other choices, unless he wanted to put his ass on a table with more diseases than plastic and then leave the organic products there. At least with the method of the buckets the smell did not enter the main room, and that was already a very good start.

Once the morning ritual was over, the boy now only had an unsmoked cigarette butt between his lips, but judging by the look on his face, he probably hadn't noticed it himself. Then, having pulled up his pants and washed his hands, he shuffled in a defeated manner in the direction from which he had come, keeping one hand on his stomach.

Back in the main room, he found the others already sitting around the table busy eating their portions. Attracted by the inviting smell, he let himself be carried in that direction until he reached the only empty chair and sat down. His gaze wandered along the surface of the dishes without dwelling too much on anything in particular, giving the strong impression when seen from the outside that he was suffering from a slight autism.

" Eh... Eh... Ehy..." In the meantime, dear Sabrina had already prepared her plate and, in her absolute kindness, even tried to place it in front of him. However, the way he had his arms crossed on the table was preventing her from putting the plate down already, which was the reason for the hesitant whispers.

"Hey! Sabrina is giving you your portion! Are you sleeping standing up?" Camilla, who in the meantime had already taken a liking to the other girl because of her shy character, came to the rescue, raising her voice and snatching the cigarette butt from Roberto's mouth with a flick of her hand. Such an outburst of aggression certainly belonged to her character, but with all the messes that had happened in such a short time she hadn't yet had a chance to show it off before that moment. Plus, the ways in which Sabrina was being ignored quickly put her on the offensive, creating the perfect motive.

However, without almost batting an eye, Roberto withdrew his hands and turned to his side, muttering with still a lost look something very close to: "Ah? Ah... Ah..." Sabrina hesitated once more, with almost a slight fear of approaching him further, but finally managed with a little effort to give him his portion.

"Ah! German breakfast today! All we need is sauerkraut and socialists!" Shouted Mario from the other side of the table, while gorging himself as if he hadn't eaten anything else in days. Roberto didn't even look at him and, instead, lowered his gaze to get a better look at his own plate. There wasn't much on it, but it seemed to be cooked well. Two whole sausages cut at the ends formed the base of the artistic construction while two scrambled eggs, placed in two small mounds, completed the contented design. To conclude then, a cup of steaming hot milk was placed immediately at the side of the plate, ready to be grabbed at any time.

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Without saying anything else, he took the nearest fork and began to bring different portions, sometimes even empty, of food in the direction of his mouth; slowly chewing each bite. From time to time he would then break his routine with a noisy sip of warm milk, perfectly embodying the definition of a not-at-all-morning person.

He particularly enjoyed his breakfast, however, despite appearances. Considering the desperate conditions under which the girl had to cook, it also had to be said that some talent in that field had to be there. Few would be able to prepare a meal for five people so easily.

"Ah... I feel better now." Said Roberto as soon as he finished eating, forming an audible sentence for the first time. He didn't address anyone in particular and, in fact, it was almost more of a realization than anything else. A bit like saying that thanks to the meal he had now found a useful motivation to become conscious again. Inspiration that even led him to light another cigarette, asking the rest of the group, this time with a much stronger voice: "So? Did you guys decide anything while I was in my happy little world? Because if not, there's one or two little things I'd be interested in bringing up."

In an instant, all the good humor that had been building thanks to the chatter and good food fell apart. Alex and Mario's expressions quickly went dark, quickly realizing that if they wasted too much time they would regret it. Also Camilla accompanied them in those thoughts, even if late. Seeing in fact how hard her new friend had worked to wake up first and cook, she would have sincerely wished that the little quiet moment she had built could have lasted a little longer.

However, they all knew that this was the last day. The last day before what... Well, that was still quite a mystery. But, considering what they had discovered; surely there could have been real danger waiting for them. The metallic voice of the System had warned them as soon as they arrived; and by now they lacked even the strength to doubt it. I mean, considering all they had already been through, was there even anything to be surprised about?

"Nothing? Do I have to do the honors?" Roberto asked again, having received no response other than a few brief glances. In truth, that was good news because it meant he wouldn't have to turn the tables to get what he wanted, but still he only partially appreciated. Having to put himself in charge of the group certainly had its advantages, yet he would have very well avoided doing so. Too much effort and too much complex human interaction.

"For the moment I'd like to hear what you have to say," Mario said first, breaking the silence interrupted only by the very light tapping of Sabrina's cutlery, the only one who had yet to finish breakfast having started eating last. "If I've already gotten to know you," he then resumed, relaxing the muscles of his face and hinting at a grin with his lips. "I'm sure you already have some kind of plan, right? I have a couple of little things I'd like to take care of too, but I need a tiny bit of time to get organized. I'd rather save my plans for last and hear your suggestions first."

Alex sighed after listening to Mario speak, with an expression of defeat on his face very similar to the one Roberto had had the morning after leaving the bathroom. Indeed, as strange as it was, that boy seemed much more capable than the two of them to handle one problem at a time. For this reason, even if unwillingly since as a man he would have wanted to be in charge, he nodded in support of Mario, later saying: "I agree. I'd like to hear what you have to say, too."

Poor Camilla in an instant found herself in a complete minority and could do nothing but remain silent, despite the fact that leaving the field open to that guy did not please her at all. Not so much because he hadn't already proven he could keep his cool and proceed with his findings in a logical manner, but simply because he didn't like it at all. A sixth sense we might say.

Sabrina was the only one who didn't even raise her head, paradoxically attracting the attention of Roberto who observed her for a few moments before proceeding further. The introverted character of that girl had managed to charm him for a millisecond, reminding him of a kind of helpless puppy animal. A trait that actually put him more on alert than anything else, still not knowing what type she might actually be.

"Great then." He then concluded the session unceremoniously, getting up from the table and lighting yet another good morning cigarette. "I'm going to go take another piss because the nature is calling. Whoever has to finish eating, just finish eating. Then maybe we'll put things in order for a moment I'd like to avoid attracting beasts. Once we're done we'll move outside, I have a couple of interesting things to show you," he said calmly while moving his neck first to one side and then to the other to loosen up his muscles.

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