《That Guy Is Boring》Chapter 2 - The First Moves on the Chessboard.

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"Nothing? Nothing at all?" Roberto continued to complain between sighs, then sat back down to take stock of the situation. However, the first thought that his mind came up with was the fact that it was still only morning and there was plenty of time for the day to get worse.

He couldn't even get angry or desperate, even though he had ended up who knows where and who knows why, since he didn't have much to do at home anyway. What was left of his family lived in another city quite a few kilometers away so they wouldn't even notice he was gone and friends or girlfriends were both topics outside his field of expertise.

Ultimately, despite some annoyance, he simply continued to study his surroundings in an attempt to understand more about his current situation. The only positive he found after his research was that, at the very least, the temperature was not as harsh as where he was from, with the weather more like that of a light autumn rather than winter. He didn't even try to walk to one of the two entrances, or exits depending on one' s prospective, choosing instead not to stray far from the area right away.

In addition, since there was no longer any electricity, and therefore no artificial light, the only source of illumination came from above through the now shattered glass roof. Although it was still morning, the sun seemed particularly lazy that day and its rays struggled to chase away the shadows inside the building. Oh well, a typical killer foggy day.

"Transported to the Chessboard, eh?" He then took to muttering to himself after deciding to get off his ass from the bench and explore the rest of the building, continuing shortly after in the same humorless tone, saying, "Why do I be reminded of a story with witches? It's not a good start. It's not a good start at all." Trying in the process not to step on an expanse of glass shards scattered on one side of the aisle, most likely from a broken window.

Avoiding getting lost in the details, Roberto remembered well how bad the Pieces could live, those who moved on the board in that show. Obviously, that was a work of fiction, but having just been taken who knows where by a voice that sounded computerized quickly lowered his hopes of being able to go back to where he came from without an exaggerated amount of trouble.

Oh, by the way, the phone obviously no longer had a signal and, consequently, a data connection. How nice, that three hundred euro piece of plastic, tin, dreams and hopes would now only be useful as a paperweight.

As he pondered advancing one step at a time, however, an extremely high-pitched scream suddenly reached his ears. That made him more uneasy than the robotic voice, and he even had to plug his ears as a conditioned reflex. Unfortunately, of all his qualities, that of withstanding the hysterical screams of women was certainly not present.

Having no other useful clues at the moment, however, Roberto waited for the end of the first wave of the annoying noise before he started looking for the person who had been responsible for it. The echo due to the wide space of the ground floor gallery made his job rather difficult, but continuing straight ahead he eventually found some other people; three to be exact.

"Where are we!!! Where are we!? What's going on!? What's going on here!? Answer me! Answer me! Who the hell are you then!? Why are you here!? Why am I here!? Answer me!"

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Here it will be a long thing... Roberto found himself forced to think while, from a due distance, he continued to observe the scene, blocking his ears to limit his desire to cut his wrists. Not wanting to waste time though, he took the opportunity to observe them in detail, remaining hidden behind a pillar wider than him.

The first person to whom his attention was drawn was, of course, the long-haired girl engaged in hysterical crying. Curled up as she was, he couldn't see her face, but judging by the shape and constitution of the rest of her body, she could hardly weigh more than fifty kilos. Even if he wanted to consider the possibility that she might be hiding some weapon or practicing some martial art, she could hardly have been a threat.

The other girl, on the other hand, immediately put him on the alert. Just considering that she had to be at least one meter eighty or even ninety, it meant that she was taller than him by a good ten centimeters at best. Just to be able to look at her face he had to look up, a not very reassuring detail if he had to be honest.

Moreover, the way she was standing up straight and carefully observing her surroundings gave him a very bad feeling, to the point that not even the beautiful dark hair falling on her shoulders or the slender physique barely hinted at by the unfeminine clothing could change his mind

"That one sounds like trouble to me..." He commented, lowering his head, already expecting that he would have trouble dealing with it in the near future. Sure, that analysis wasn't the result of decades of experience on the battlefields or on the streets, but that big woman had the same eyes and the same rigid expression as the girl who had set his car on fire several years ago. Which is why he started out a little biased.

After that, already a little low in morale, he studied the only other boy present. In terms of age and height he must have been close to him, which was already a plus. His fashionable sweater and dark pants, together with the expression on his face as he tried in vain to comfort the crying girl, created in Roberto's mind the image of a boy from a good family without too many thoughts in his head. If he had been a socialist then Roberto would have made bingo without even the coupon.

"I'm probably biased." He corrected himself a few moments later, scratching his right temple with the tip of his index finger. That little ritual happened to him from time to time, but it wasn't a big deal. In any case, he seemed anything but a danger himself. "Well, if it evolves into an all against all it means I'll only have to worry about the tall one," he concluded after closing his eyes to improve his concentration, feeling somewhat gassed.

"The tall one? Is that supposed to be me?" However, a female voice asked her from a short distance away, just on the other side of the column. Roberto didn't even answer, just opening his eyes and walking out of his hiding place without making a fuss or trying to run away. "I guess so. I wouldn't have any desire to be in your way, I'm honest," he answered her as soon as they were face to face, spreading his hands at chest level and raising his shoulders slightly.

"In that case, wouldn't it have been better to stay hidden?" The girl rejoined the conversation, checking the new entry with a look worthy of a pissed off street pusher, or at least that's what Roberto imagined, as he had never been in their company during such a moment. Anyway, taking the boy's teenage problems out of the discussion, that big woman was honestly even scarier up close, for sure.

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"And would it have done any good by any chance? You'd already noticed me when I arrived anyway. I just used the column as a shield to limit your friend's screams." That was the boy's second response, and he immediately added with his index finger pointing at the slumped girl, "Can't you turn it off somehow? I'm starting to get a headache."

The two continued to study each other, in a manner quite out of place considering the situation they were in, at least in my opinion. Roberto in particular even began to enjoy that staring contest, a bad habit of his. His opinion of the girl changed slightly as well, making the possibility that she was forcing her way much higher than before; despite the fact that the only evidence in his favor was the fact that she struggled to maintain direct eye contact.

"Does this look like the time to argue!" The boy from a good family shouted at them from afar, even calling out to them in gestures to pull them closer so that they would lend a hand in getting the other to calm down. Even he apparently looked like he had reached his limit.

"Oh..." Roberto hinted a smile, moving calmly in the direction of the bursting couple, thus stopping playing with the big lady. She did the same, walking alongside him, but keeping a minimal safe distance. At least until she heard the other ask, "He's got more balls than I would have given him. Is he your boyfriend by any chance?" thus freezing in place for a moment and then raising her voice for no apparent reason, saying, "He's not my boyfriend!"

Calm down oh... I was only asking because I wanted to compliment him for his courage... Roberto thought, avoiding, fortunately, to say it out loud. Meanwhile, they had arrived near the other two.

"Oh! We finally get to meet someone else! Oh, great! Now give me a hand! Give me a hand, please!" He was immediately greeted by the boy presumably from a good family with a tone filled with sincerity that, unfortunately, quickly mutated into a desperate plea for help without art or part. However, could one blame him? I'd like to see how much a normal person would have resisted in front of the little girl's continuous whining. Wanting to help was part of his nature, or maybe it could be the fact that behind the veil of tears and a little mucus was hidden a particularly cute face. That, too, could have been a possibility not to be dismissed out of hand.

"I am Alex, Alex Baggio! Glad to make your acquaintance!" He then told him, leaving the girl on the ground for a moment and launching himself towards Roberto to shake his hand with a sudden movement. Jokes about homosexuality aside, he felt incredibly happy to have found another guy in the middle of all that mess.

Roberto didn't really appreciate that kind of warm welcome, so he made sure to get Alex's nasty hands off him. Knowing, however, that he couldn't be too picky when it came to encounters in situations like the one they were in, he suppressed the annoyance that had risen in his throat and responded with a decent amount of calm, saying: "Roberto Maggi, nice to meet you."

Alex ignored his coldness and continued to remain in good spirits, smiling openly and continuing undaunted to try to grab his arms or shoulders. His was certainly a singular way of showing affection, but perhaps he was from around Rome. Or, at least, that was what Roberto thought, even though he had never been to those places and was going by clichés.

"Ah, right! You haven't introduced yourselves yet, have you?" Alex resumed, shifting dear Roberto's weight so that they both turned to the big woman next door. "This is Camilla Mattina. A singular last name, isn't it? She's a childhood friend of mine, and though she doesn't look it, she's very nice. Just be careful when she gets mad, ever since she was little she always hit hard..." He said to his new best friend, whispering the last part directly into his ear to avoid unnecessary bloodshed while trying to make the newcomer feel welcome. Although they both had to endure a decent amount of background noise.

"Ah, so he's really your boyfriend. You could have just said so." It was the first word-for-word response that came from Roberto's slightly upwardly curved lips. She, in an almost cute way actually, blushed and stamped her foot on the ground, practically shouting in his face: "No! It isn't!" with a strong tremor all over her body.

For Roberto, that very interesting moment also helped him to understand how the company was going. In fact, he almost felt a little pity for the girl. Most likely Alex had to be smarter than he looked if he had managed to keep her at bay for years.

"Good job, well done." He couldn't help but tell him, even bringing a hand just above his head to simulate the gesture of taking off his hat. Alex didn't understand exactly what he was referring to, perhaps, but accepted the nice words with a joyful smile and an unsuccessful attempt at a hug.

"This one instead? Is she still a friend of yours? No, because I'd like to find the volume knob or the off button." He asked once the small talk was over, addressing both Alex and Camilla without discriminating or using a kinder tone with the latter and finally getting to the heart of the matter.

"No, we found her here. We don't know who she is and she won't calm down." Camilla replied to him after needlessly waiting a good handful of seconds for Alex to take the lead on the situation. Unfortunately for her though, ever since they had met that girl, her childhood friend had lost all his grit and, more importantly for her, had done nothing but try to offer her a shoulder to cry on.

Not that it bothered her, of course... But, let's move on.

"I get it." Roberto then said with jaw-dropping simplicity, immediately turning his body in the direction of the whiner on the ground. From his elevated position, he watched her for a moment, thinking and rethinking of a useful method to make her be quiet. Not only because of the annoyance she was causing, but mostly because if she continued in that manner anyone around there would figure out their current position.

These kinds of precautions seemed a bit excessive even to him, considering the fact that the city he was from had always been relatively safe. However, he had the strong feeling that caution could never be too much, considering moreover the fact that in none of the novels or comics that started with such incipits there were good things waiting for the protagonists.

"I apologize in advance." He resumed saying as he lowered his knees to the ground, coming in that way much closer to the girl's sitting height. After that, full in his soul of good chivalrous spirit he grabbed her by the hair until he raised the girl's head above her knees. Their gazes met for a brief moment, in which the poor star's blood almost froze in her veins, but even before she could cry out with the breath she had left, Roberto gave her a straight five on the right cheek.

"Oh! What the fuck are you doing!?" Alex, his new best friend, jumped on him from behind, fiercely grabbing both the arm with which he'd just delivered the blow and the other with which he was holding a generous handful of hair. In addition to those first words, Roberto also heard a mixture of insults and verses of exertion coming to his ears; a point in favor of the former brat from a good family as far as he was concerned, but also a disappointment.

Those who liked to play the part of the knight trying to save the damsel in distress often only knew how to move their tongues, which is why his opinion of him improved just a little bit. Not too much actually, because he hadn't been smart enough to block him with a neck hold that would have been much more effective since he had literally given away his back. Plus Alex had to be at least five or ten kilos heavier than him, and yet, he still hadn't been able to move him or make him lose his grip.

"Have you calmed down now? Do you need another tap?" Roberto asked in the meantime, not giving too much importance to the tick on him and thanking the fact that he didn't have his throat blocked despite his displeasure.

"Yeah... Yeah... I'm fine... I'm fine..." Muttered the poor star in a barely audible voice, trying hard not to burst into tears a second time. Inside, she understood the motivation behind the slap that that asshole, thoughts of her own, had just given her.But that didn't change the fact that it had hurt him a lot.

Oh... cute chick.

Immediately, he let go of his grip on her hair and nodded, lowering his head a little, actually trying to execute some sort of apology that probably came from the too many comics he had read. Even that skill hadn't had a chance to develop much in the previous years.

"Chief." He said next, turning to the other guy, turning his neck so that he could see him out of the corner of his eye. "Can you get off me? Or should I expect a kiss? I'd prefer the first option, just to make it clear," Leaving puzzled poor Alex who was expecting everything but a joke of that kind. Hoping that was actually just a joke.

"..." Muttering something incomprehensible, he finally released his hold and allowed Roberto to get back to his feet. In response, Roberto let out a long, distressed-sounding sigh, as if he'd just been forced to perform a chore off his own payroll. An event which, to be honest, left Camilla a little impressed.

"You left at home the good manners, didn't you? Does that sound like the way to behave to a girl in shock?" She asked, crossing her arms in front of him, with a stance typical of someone used to lecturing others.

She must have little brothers. Or... It was the brief doubt that wandered through the boy's already fatigued mind as his eyes shifted involuntarily to Alex. In any case, it was often the actions taken at the beginning of a game that determined future developments; so, for once, he made an extra effort and began to explain himself.

"Education was taught to me, at least I think so. I never had such a close relationship with my parents. Anyway, since we don't know where we are or who we might be around, I preferred to turn off the car alarm."Here, just to say it, he pointed with his finger at the girl still sitting on the ground, then resumed by saying, "I'd like to avoid having any trouble when we just got here... There you go, exactly like that."

However, before he could conclude in a manner worthy of a homo sapiens, a suspicious noise came from inside a store a few steps away from them, marking, at least as far as he was concerned, the beginning of the misfortunes that would haunt him from then on.

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