“It’s time to get serious,” the president rammed. He was giving a public interview from the White House. He was having one of his rants, twisting quixotically off the planet. It was his planet now, after all.

“They were the one’s ‘ho acted first. I’m just fighting back.”

“Mr. President, you’ve used that rhetoric before, but your response to this act of aggression seems ill-advised. You do understa—”

“Act of Terror. It’s not a joke. Here I’ll say it right into the camera,” he leaned forward, sagging skin ruffling the microphone. “America… This is no joke. If they threaten me, they’re threatening you. We’re all the same thing here. Like it or not. I’ve got a big plan. The best plan. Democrats don’t like it—I don’t care. They don’t like me, I don’t like them. They’re traitors. Best plan, folks. Believe me. We’ll handle it. Got a huge, big, great, beautiful plan. It’s the only way to do it folks. They attacked New York City. Now my building is still okay, thank god right, but they attacked other buildings. Whole thing could’ve been avoided. That’s the real joke. I want my people to know that I’m taking care of it, and so I need more soldiers. Young people—but not losers—who want to join my cause and fight back, join the army, ok? Navy, too, and the other branches. Cause I tell ya, we’re the only ones doing anything here. I get no support none. I know my lovely fans will help me. Ok?”

Juliana Hayda brazenly coughed into the mic. She had to claim back the interview.

“I’d again like to point out Mr. President, to viewers and to the press corps, that the basis for your new policies are greatly misunderstood. They have little effect on law enforcement and military’s ability to protect the nation. Your own constituents are—”

“I don’t wanna hear it. You didn’t see what I saw, but I saw true patriots, like General Tarvish, and MYSELF, who completely had my back against, and you can quote me, Islamic. Terrorists. Thank you, I’ve got things to do.”

And the President stood up, walked through the new White House doors, and back to work. The White House was prepping new Executive Protective Measures.

Protective Measure 1: Check Points at all State Lines, militarizing the border, and stationing a soldier every 500 yards. Permanently.

Protective Measure 2: Effective immediately, all military vehicle and aircraft on or over American soil will have a fully capable payload. No Exceptions. None.

The War on Terror was on its way back home, but the President had a vision to restore our country, to

Pure.

American.

Glory.