IARA

Everyday exhausted me. I awoke the moment the sun started to set. Elisif would rush to do my hair and help me dress and then she would show me to my first set of classes. I was confident I could get there on my own now, but our walks were some of the only times I got to spend socializing. When I would get to my study room, the scribe would start his lesson. The scribe was a vampire by the name of Nolan. He was a round man with no hair. His face always held a jolly expression and his head always seemed to shine. I liked his teaching style. It was much better than Rey’s. Rey would let you flop around until you found the answer yourself. He was much more guiding.

Sometimes the master scribe would take over as well. He taught more in depth history. Ivar spoke as if he were there first hand. Which he might have been. I could never tell vampires ages. Being immortal made it impossible to guess. I knew Ivar was very old but he didn’t look over forty. He was thin, a rough beard on his chin. His eyes still unnerved me though. The way he looked at me made me uncomfortable. I was glad Nolan never left when Ivar was instructing me. He often sat next to me at the table, taking in the lesson as if he were a fellow student.

When I was done with the academic lessons, I would be permitted to break for lunch. Sometimes I would see my husband, sometimes I would not. I knew he avoided me. When I did see him he spoke nothing but a few brisk words. Some days I would only eat with Jeremiah. He was a quiet boy, always had a book in his hand. I learned his blessing was the ability to speak or read any language. His eyes glowed with pride when I told him how amazing I thought it was. We would talk sometimes about his dragon egg as well, but much less often. I wish I had the free time to help him try to hatch it. I loved the thought of seeing a small dragon hatchling break through its shell. Soon, I’d make time for it. A once in a lifetime event like that needed to be experienced. I would take notes for my shadow book.

After my meal, Elisif would escort me to my etiquette classes. Lady Isadora was the teacher. She was a scribe as well, her robes missing the hood and instead came with a high collar. These were more lessons on how to behave in a court. What I would be expected to say in meetings with important people. Who I needed to bow to and how to address those around me. Some were even dancing lessons for when we would host balls. These lessons were boring. They made the night feel three times as long. I sometimes felt myself nodding off, which is exactly why Lady Isadora would tell me why I needed these lessons the most. She wasn’t wrong. I was very impolite and improper. I felt ashamed thinking about the things I did when I first came. How did everyone talk to me with such poise and kindness?

Then I would eat my final meal and head to the library. I would study over things I wanted to. My witchcraft studies. I knew if I cut this time short and went to my chambers earlier, I would be much more rested. That was a sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make. My goal was to better my witchcraft, and all the ogds as my witness, I would study every damned day like this until I died. I was still dying to know about my mother as well. I read up on curses as much as I could, but the libraries only held so much. Elisif usually would cut my time here short. She never let me stay up too late, much like a mother. She would drag me back to my room and help me get ready for bed. I valued the time I spent with my lady-in-waiting though. She was my only friend here.

Tonight was one of the nights she stayed with me to talk. We gossiped quite a bit some mornings. She finished brushing my hair out and sat on the bed next to me. ‘“I heard the Prince was asking around about your mother,” Elisif said.

I felt my chest tighten. Elisif hadn’t mentioned him since our fight. I tried to push the thoughts about it away. “Do you know if he’s found anything out?” I wanted to know so badly about my mother. I also wanted so badly to see the Prince again without feeling like he grew to hate me.

Elisif shook her head. “I could see if he’s free tomorrow and we can go see him,” she suggested. She gave me a small smile. Her hand went up to touch my shoulder gently. She wanted me to reach out to him. I could feel how much she cared about both of us. I knew she felt guilty about how she handled the letter.

I leaned away from her touch and sighed. “I won’t talk to Prince Malachi until he is ready,” I whispered.

“Well, regardless I will speak to him tomorrow,” Elisif replied. Her voice sounded determined. She was the type of person to never back away from a tough situation. She was strong and confident. Things I wish I could be. If only her personality could permeate to me like her feelings did. I would give anything to be half as confident as Elisif.

I was startled by the knock at my door. Elisif raised her brows at me and got up to answer the door. This late in the day, no one would be asking for me. It was seen as impolite to call on anyone of such high ranking at this hour. I was shocked that the person on the other side was Malachi. It was almost as if we manifested him just by speaking his name. Elisif looked just as surprised as I was. “Prince, what brings you here so late?” my maid asked.

His face stayed stoic. “I am here to see the Princess,” he stated. He never let his eyes move from Elisif though. She let him in and shut the door. She conveniently shut herself on the other side of it as well. She was gone. I wished with all my heart she had stayed though.

I stood quickly, bowing low. “Hello Prince,” I greeted in a steady voice. As steady as I could muster.

“Please don’t do that,” he sighed.

I straightened and looked at him again. His gaze finally met mine. I couldn’t help but notice how dark the circles under his eyes were. He had the same chiseled features as I remembered, but somehow I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. His nose was long and straight. He had very angled brows, dark and defined. His black hair contrasted well with his pale skin. The only burst of color on him was his eyes. They were still the bright and vibrant green I had remembered. “I-I’ve just been taking etiquette classes,” I stammered.

He shook his head at me. “I’m not here to talk about that anyway. I wanted to talk about your mother.” His voice was sharp, with purpose. He wasn’t wasting any time.

I felt my hands tighten into fists. I felt so excited to hear, but I tried to hold it back. Showing too much of your thoughts was troublesome. I needed to practice. Still, I couldn’t stop from wringing my hands together. The mystery of my mother’s disappearance still ate away at me some nights. I had come to terms with the fact she was probably dead long ago, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to know how it happened. “Please tell me then,” I said.

He recounted the story with Priestess Uzza. He never moved from his spot at the door, making me feel awkward as I listened. I ate up the information though. I needed to commit every detail to memory. A deal to become a powerful witch? I bit at my nail in thought. Rey had never mentioned such things to me before. The Prince was right. A great price was due for such a deal. What could it be?

He grabbed the book that was neatly tucked under his arm. I didn’t even notice it before. It was a beautifully crafted book as well. The detailed metal work in the cover told of how important the manuscript was to the owner. “The Priestess gave me this for you to read as well. I only skimmed it. I don’t know what could be useful to you or not.”

I stepped forward and carefully reached for it. I didn’t want to risk our skin meeting at all. “Thanks, I’ll be sure to read it when I have time.”

“I’ll leave it to you then,” he muttered. The Prince turned around and grabbed the doorknob. Before his hand could twist it I jumped forward.

“Wait,” I cried. When he looked back at me, his eyes flicked down to my hand. I didn’t realize I reached out to him. I swallowed dryly and recoiled. I gripped my hand with my other. “C-can we. . .” The words evaporated before they could come out.

“What do you want?” he asked in a monotone voice. No inflection in any words. They sounded hollow.

“I miss you,” I blurted. I didn’t realize before how much I just wanted to hear him speak. His soft voice was like music to my ears after so long.

He let his hand fall from the doorknob. “I miss you too,” he mumbled. I could hardly hear what he said but I was sure. I had to stop myself from taking another step forward. The thought of being close to me always made people nervous after they knew my blessing. I had to physically fight myself from reaching out to him again. He eventually turned back to me and the most subtle sign of sadness played on his face. “Will you share my room with me again?”

My heart skipped a beat. I felt the sting of tears forming but I willed them away. I couldn’t cry at everything that happened. I nodded. “I can ask for my belongings to be moved again,” I said.

I saw the muscle in his jaw jump. He kept his eyes locked with mine. My stomach tied into knots when he stepped closer until he was right in front of me.

“May I?” he whispered softly. He reached his hand out, palm up. His fingers were long and slender. The wrinkles across his palms were deep, the pads of his hands calloused. I looked back to his face for reassurance. He had a determined glint in his eyes.

I let my hand fall into his. I reminded myself to keep my own thoughts separate. Don’t let his feelings replace mine. The rip of emotions rushed up my arm. They swirled and twisted into recognizable shapes and colors. It was like the first time I had touched him. Loneliness and an ever present feeling of self loathing. I couldn’t place it before. Depression. He was suffering alone. This is why he didn’t want people close, and especially why he was so careful that I didn't touch him. It took him days to muster the courage to come talk to me. Behind it all, I could feel his thoughts on me. He wanted to be around me more. He wanted to touch my hair again and have me close.

I couldn’t force my tears away this time. I squeezed his hand and pressed it to my lips. “I’m sorry,” I whispered between his fingers. I didn’t want to let him go. It was the first time I’ve truly held his hand. As childish as it felt, I never wanted to let go.

With his other hand he wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek. I leaned my head into his hand and he stepped closer. With both hands he grasped either side of my face. He leaned down, his breath hot against my face. He was waiting for me to pull away again. But I wouldn’t this time. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. His hands dropped to let his arms wrap around me tightly. I could feel his desires surge through me. I felt my hands reach up and tangle into his hair. The strands were soft and easy to pull from the ribbon that trapped them. He pulled away then, making our kiss end much sooner than I would have liked.

He ran his fingers through my hair as he looked into my eyes. “I love you, Iara,” he breathed. I felt the wave of happiness come from him. His face still barely showed any of what was churning just under the surface.

I pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “I love you,” I whispered into his ear. My heart skipped a beat saying it. I had never felt so giddy in my life. Maybe it was just being amplified by the emotions I felt from him, but I didn’t care. I knew they were our truest thoughts mixing together to create something bright and intense. For once I didn’t want to recoil away from a touch. I wanted to feel more of him.

I buried my head into his neck, his hair covering my face like a curtain. He pressed me into him, his grip firm and comforting. I could have stayed like this forever. Eventually though, he pulled away again. “I should go back to my room,” he sighed. His exhaustion wouldn’t leave him.

“We have a bed here,” I replied quickly. I tugged him toward my bed. It was smaller than his but still had plenty of room for us.

He didn’t protest as I dragged him into it. He kicked off his shoes and threw off his coat. His white shirt came untucked from his pants as he pulled himself in to lay next to me. We lay face to face, our hands still intertwined. He felt calm right now. More calm than I have felt in weeks. When his eyes shut though, I felt the blossom of dread.

“Don’t think about tomorrow,” I said softly.

He let his eyes open again slowly. “Our time together will be too short.”

“We have tomorrow morning.”

He didn’t reply. He shut his eyes once again. I pulled his hand closer to me and gave him another soft kiss on his forehead. He pulled me down to kiss my lips again. This time I deepened the kiss, wanting to taste him. I should have been more careful though. My tongue caught his sharp fang and cut through my skin. The moment blood hit his tongue, darker feelings ran into my mind from him. He pulled away, sitting up faster than I could process what happened. His eyes were wide and he looked confused, almost scared. It was the most animated facial expression I had seen on him. Malachi looked at me as he pressed his hand over his mouth.

“Are you alright?” I asked. I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth, trying to get rid of the iron taste. It had only been a small nick, I wondered why it was bleeding so much.

“Are you?” he asked in a bewildered tone. “I- Did I hurt you?”

“I’m alright,” I replied, sitting up as well. “Was that your first taste of human blood? How was it?” I gave him a smile and a playful nudge.

He shook his head and leaned forward. “I think I need to sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I pulled the sheets from under me and slipped my legs beneath them. “Did it scare you? I felt a lot right before you pulled away.”

He pulled the covers over himself as well and laid back. “I think I need to keep that to myself, at least for tonight.” He turned his head back to me after giving me an apologetic look. “I know it must be frustrating to deal with me.”

“Not at all,” I assured. “Sharing your every thought with someone just by being touched must be frustrating to deal with.”

He didn’t say anything in response. I only laid next to him and let my eyes close. I was so tired I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillows. When I woke up he was gone. I felt a sense of sadness at the empty bed. I didn’t have as much time to process it as I would have liked though. Elisif pulled me up and we started our usual routine. Although this time, our talk was about the Prince.

“Should we tell everyone you are blood bonded?” she asked as she brushed out my tangled hair.

“I don’t think so?” I sighed. “Would I know if we blood bonded?” I looked up at her.

Her eyes widened and she nodded. “You would know.”

“Are you blood bonded?”

She gave a small smile and her cheeks turned pink. “I am,” she said in a sheepish tone.

“With who?” I leaned forward and my eyes widened with excitement. Elisif had a lover and I never bothered to ask before. My mind raced at who it could be. Was it one of the knights? It would be like a romantic novel. Maid falls in love with a noble knight.

“Lunette,” she whispered.

“Grandle’s twin?” I gasped. Lunette was possibly the last person I had thought of. She was mean, to put it lightly. I couldn’t imagine someone as kind as Elisif being with someone like her. “Well at least it isn’t him,” I sighed. The lesser of two evils, I suppose.

“I couldn’t begin to see why anyone would like him,” she said. Her tone held back anger. It was almost funny. Elisif always tried her best to be polite but sometimes she couldn’t help herself.

“What was it like?” I turned back around so she could finish pinning my hair. She secured strands up in loops off my neck. Even though the seasons were changing, the weather was still warm this far south. There was no break from the heat.

She paused to collect her thoughts. “I don’t think I can do it justice. It’s very different from what you’re probably expecting. Well, what are you expecting?”

I hadn’t given it any thought. I had no idea what I thought blood bonding was like. I knew Malachi had to drink blood from me, but would it hurt? If it did, I couldn’t imagine that many people would be willing to do it. As Elisif told me before, it was an intimate action. Did she mean it was sexual? My mind raced at all the questions I had. “I don’t know,” was all I managed to say.

She finished up my hair and sat down next to me. “Well, it is very overwhelming. It might be more so for you because of your blessing.” She looked lost in her thoughts for a moment, a smile playing on her lips. “Lunette and I bonded a few years ago and I give her blood as often as I can. It’s very enjoyable for both parties involved.”

I felt my cheeks heat up at the thought. It was sexual. I knew we were already married. Things like that were expected to follow. I still felt like it was somehow too soon though. Especially after only just speaking after almost a month of no contact. We only spent one night together. “Do you think the Prince and I would be moving too fast?” I asked.

“Move too slow and you’ll look old for the rest of your life,” she laughed.

As we left my room I gave her a mean look. “I’m trying to be serious,” I pouted.

She shook her head and led us down the long halls. “Don’t overthink it. Every relationship moves at different paces. Lunette and I bonded after a very short time, but the Queen and King were married for years before they bonded. Don’t let that change your mind on when you want to do it. It’s up to you and Malachi, no one else.”

There it was again. Don’t overthink things. Elisif was right too. Malachi and I were the best to decide when we did things. The entire day I could hardly pay attention to my lessons. I could only think about my husband. I really hoped he was at lunch today, but I was alone with Jeremiah again. He read a book under the table and didn’t say one thing to me. I sighed and let him be silent. I didn’t want to speak either. The last half of the day felt like it went on forever as well. Four times as long.

Once I was done though, Elisif took me to Malachi’s rooms instead of the library. I frowned and shut the door behind us. “I’m expected to have an out of class assignment done for tomorrow,” I said.

“Oh, enough of that,” Elisif said. She led me to one of the soft chairs that were placed next to the low table. When I was seated, she started to take the pins out of my hair. One by one they floated over my head and onto the table in front of me. “The sun is rising. Why don’t you take a rest for once.”

“I know what you’re doing,” I said. “I thought about it all day and I’m not sure I’m ready.”

Elisif ignored what I said and pulled me up. She had loosened my hair in record time. When her hands reached my dress I took a step back. “Stop,” I sighed. I tried not to laugh. She was far too pushy sometimes.

She gave me a smug grin and stepped closer again. “You have to look your best today.”

Before she could corner me, the door opened. Malachi had a sour look on his face as he stepped in. He swung the door wider and gave Elisif a deep frown. “Please go,” he said flatly.

As Elisif walked past him she gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t be so upset.”

He shut the door none too gently when she stepped out. “She can’t keep her mouth shut.”

“Isn’t that her best quality?” I giggled.

The Prince stepped to one of the plush chairs and let himself fall into it. He looked as tired as he had the morning before. “I know you were shoved here just as I was. You can go to the library or something if you want,” he offered.

“Shoved here?” I asked.

“My mother rushed me here,” Malachi told me. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m more embarrassed than anything. You must have told Elisif about last morning.”

“I asked her about blood bonding,” I said in a low voice. I felt my cheeks get hot. “I didn’t mean for her to take it as I wanted to. I’m trying to take things at your pace.”

His face was as calm and void of emotion as it normally was, but the pointed tips of his ears betrayed him. They turned a lovely shade of pink. “That sort of thing should be your decision,” he replied.

“Why?” I asked. It was both of us that had to do it, not just me.

He turned his face away but I saw the expression on it change. “It would be done at the cost of hurting you.”

“Elisif said she didn’t mind it,” I replied. I sat in the chair next to him. “I trust you. You’ve been nothing but honest and I don’t think you would hurt me.”

Malachi let his eyes come back up to meet mine. “I-I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” The tone of his voice surprised me. Through the tremor in it, it sounded low and thick.

“My blood?” I asked in confusion. I felt so dumb. This was an entirely new world to me.

He let his head drop into his hands. His shoulders heaved with a big sigh. “Yes. If you asked me what I felt about drinking a person’s blood last week I would have told anyone within earshot of how immoral I thought it was. A dated practice that needed to be phased out. I have drank nothing but animal blood for the entire time my fangs have been in. I’ve been with women before and I never wanted a part of it. But as soon as I tasted it. . .” His voice broke and he shook his head.

I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder. I was careful to only touch his shirt. “Look at me.” I tried to make my voice smooth, but commanding.

He dropped his hands and lifted his head again. He looked scrambled. His face showed concern and his hair was mussed. He let his eyes pass over my face, seeming to bore into my mind as they always did.

“It’s okay if you want to do it,” I said to him.

He shook his head. “I can’t hold these feelings back. I don’t want you to touch me.” His eyes seemed to darken and he averted them. “I feel ashamed.”

I let my hands fall to my lap. “What are you ashamed about? You hold back everything you feel. I think it would be better if you opened up.”

He sighed. “Opening up has gotten me nowhere.” When he saw my frown he furrowed his brows. “I just mean to say I have a hard time with this. Expressing my emotions.”

I let my hand open up, palm towards him. “You don’t have to find words. You have permission to touch me.”

“I don’t want to push all of this onto you,” he whispered. He let shame play out in his eyes. “I don’t want to scare you,” he added, even more quiet than before. It broke my heart to see his face fall like that.

“You haven’t done anything to scare me and I don’t think you will now. Elisif warned me that if we bond, it’ll be overwhelming. But I’ve been practicing.” I beamed with excitement. “I have been able to touch people and push away the flood of things I feel. I keep my thoughts and feelings my own and- Ah, sorry.” I pulled myself back. “I’m trying to say you don’t need to worry about what you feel. We’re together in the eyes of all the gods and I won’t leave you. I want to be able to touch you as freely as I can.”

A small smile broke on his lips. “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for being yourself.”

I reached my hand out again. “Last offer before I go to the library though.”

“Oh, you’ve managed to make it there yourself?” he teased.

“I might have to take back my last offer,” I warned.

He gave a ghost of a smile and reached his hand out. He laced his fingers with mine and I let the fog flow into me. He was scared, terrified at the feeling he got when he tasted only a drop of my blood. It was an overwhelming hunger. Desire. Lust. He wanted to bite into me and drink. It made him feel barbaric. He never felt like that before in his entire life. I didn’t need this blessing to see the shame that still played out on his face. I pulled his hand towards me and pressed his knuckles into my cheek.

“I don’t want you to feel ashamed,” I breathed. I felt him pull his hand away but I wouldn’t let go. I looked into his eyes with a plea. “Don’t pull away. I want to be close with you.”

He looked so surprised. “Even after all of that, you still want to bond with me?”

I nodded and held his hand with both of mine. Fondness formed and sparked up my arm from him. “I want nothing more than to be bound to you for both of our lives.”

Malachi practically threw himself at me. He pressed his lips against mine hard. I gasped and quickly wrapped my arms around him. His hands were pulling me up, pressing me against him as tightly as I could be. His desires mixed with mine in a chaotic cacophony inside me, making me feel light headed. Remember what you had been practicing, I told myself. I didn’t want to lose myself in all my thoughts. I wanted to be in the moment. His breath was hot on my face, his fangs dangerously brushing against my skin.

Malachi suddenly lifted me off my feet. I yelped in surprise as he carried me to our bedroom. “You’re stronger than you look,” I gasped.

“Do I not look strong?” he chuckled.

I smiled and pressed my lips to his again. He laid me down on the bed, never breaking our lips. I reached behind me and tried to loosen the ties keeping my dress on, but it was harder than I thought. Malachi pulled away and gave me an amused look. “Do you need help?”

“I should have had Elisif undress me after all,” I pouted.

He reached behind me and tugged at the straps. It came loose and I threw off the top layer of my dress. Then he helped me untie the corset that lay under it. The garments were thrown haphazardly off the bed. Once I was in only the innermost layer, a slip made of thin cotton, Malachi positioned himself over me. He brushed his fingertips over my shoulders and up my neck. His desire flooded me and made my breath catch in my throat. “Are you still sure you want me to bite you?”

I nodded and pulled myself closer to him. “I’m sure,” I whispered.

My hands shook as I reached for his shirt buttons. He pressed his lips to mine and unbuttoned his shirt for me. He shrugged it off and moved his hand to run through my hair. I looked down at his chest. It was the first time I was seeing him so bare. I let my hand run down his side to feel his skin. His chest was more defined than I imagined it to be. His hand went to my own buttons that concealed my chest. I felt my face heat up and I grabbed his hand before he could get any undone.

“C-can I keep this on for now?” I stuttered.

Malachi squeezed my hand and ran the other through my hair. “Of course. Relax,” he soothed. “Are you comfortable?”

I nodded and pulled him down for another kiss. He kept his hand in my hair, the other pinning my one wrist to the bed. My other hand pressed into his back, holding onto him. He kissed a trail down to my neck. I felt a wave of hunger come from him again. He brushed his fangs against my skin in a silent question. One last chance for me to say no.

“Bite me,” I said, tilting my head back so he had plenty of room.

Malachi pressed his lips softly to my neck, then without any more warning he bit down. His fangs cut into my skin like needles. The pain only lasted a second, then he started to drink. I couldn’t keep the swirls of emotion at bay, they were so intense. Both of us felt it. I felt a warmth between my legs grow until my toes tingled. I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my lips. I felt him hard against me. His own pleasure meshed with mine and made my head spin. I dug my fingernails into his back, making him groan.

Suddenly he pulled away, taking in a sharp breath in. He let my wrist go and took his weight off of me. I clutched his shoulders, our eyes meeting. Then a golden string of light started to materialize from both of our chests. I knew what it was immediately. Our fate lines. The threads were made of light motes, illuminating the whole room with how bright they were. I couldn’t move as the strings connected between us. They moved slowly and deliberately, merging together until they were one. Then the light faded. A pang of coolness formed in my chest. I brought my hand up to hold right over where I felt it. We were blood bonded. There was no being apart now, for the rest of our lives.