IARA

When I got back to my room, Elisif was there. She had a mannequin dressed in another very regal looking gown that I could only assume I had to wear tomorrow. She gasped when she turned to look at me. My clothes were weighted down with water and my hair stuck to my head in ropey strands. My hands went to cover my face as my eyes burn again.

“What happened?” she cried out. She came over and grabbed my hand. Concern flooded through me. Elisif was so kind. I never felt overwhelmed when she touched me. She was the only source of support I felt I had here.

“I had a nice time at the beach,” I cried. My voice shook. I had a really nice time at the beach. The Prince was kind to me. He went out of his way to make me as comfortable as he could. He wore gloves and made sure to be careful when touching me. He measured each word with such care to make me feel safe and at ease. And it was working. I felt comfortable with him. His words played over and over in my head. He never once touched me to sway my feelings either. No one had ever treated me so respectfully in my life. Was I forming a crush on him? I couldn’t have been. It was only the second day I knew him.

My mind kept pulling me back to Telvin. He had comforted me at the darkest time in my life. When he touched me, I was sure I loved him. I knew he liked me and it only served to amplify my fondness for him. Would it be just as easy to replace my feelings for Vi with feelings for the Prince? It was why I pulled away so frantically from him. What if this would just be over exaggerated the same way it had been with Vi? I didn’t want to grow resentment at being touched any more than I did now. I needed more time before Prince Malachi touched me again. Like he said, I needed to solidify my own feelings before I felt others.

“You had a nice time at the beach and you are upset?” Elisif’s voice pulled me back from my rambling thoughts.

“Yes!” I yelled. I let my hands drop and I started to tug at all the wet fabric still clinging to me. “Not to mention I need to set out offerings to Aither now,” I said through gritted teeth. I had small offerings already set to go in my leather pouch, but I would need to prepare something bigger. I invoked more power than I ever had to put out the fire. I still felt the tingle of wind coursing through my body. It was always invigorating when calling upon the powers of the gods. Nothing was quite like it, but it came at a price. If I didn’t offer something to them in the form of food or other valuables, I would fall out of favor.

Elisif came over to me, reaching to the wet ties of my dress. The fabric was stuck together with the weight of the water pulling it down. She managed to loosen the knots though. “The wind god? Why?” As she spoke, she tugged the dress off my shoulders and I stepped out of it the rest of the way.

I threw off my under dresses and went to the wardrobe for some sleepwear. “Long story. I just want to get to my reading,” I said in a tight voice. I longed for solitude to sort through my thoughts.

“Alright,” my lady-in-waiting sighed. She helped me slip a soft sleeping gown over my head. “But keep in mind you have another long night ahead of you.”

I sat on the bed still too big for me and grabbed one of the old tombs piled on the end stand. “Every night has been long since coming here,” I snapped.

Elisif smiled apologetically. “I know,” she said as she flicked her hand. The hairbrush sitting on the table floated toward her like a butterfly fluttering through the air. A very handy blessing, much more handy than my curse. She sat behind me and gathered the tangled cords of my hair. “But tomorrow will be the biggest yet. The wedding.”

“What?” I gasped. I almost dropped the book in my hands. I turned around to face her, my wet hair whipping her arm.

“Yes, the Queen moved the day of the wedding as something came up recently. She wanted the union to be solidified faster. She announced it at dinner but you and the Prince missed the meal,” Elisif informed me.

I felt my eyes sting. I turned back around and bit my lip. Everything was happening so fast and without my say in any of it. Once we were married in front of all the gods, that was it. My life wouldn’t be my own anymore. I would be sworn to another. I couldn’t break a promise to the gods, or I’d risk all my magical power. It felt like a dreadful end more than a hopeful beginning. I wanted only to study my craft and learn the mystery of my mother. I wasn’t afforded either of those things.

I knew what Rey’s blessing was. She saw everything that was going to happen. She had always been adamant in only giving me enough information to reach the conclusion she thought was best. What about this future was desirable to me though? I didn’t want to marry the Prince. I didn’t even want to marry Vi. I wanted nothing more than to focus on my life. I wanted to seek out knowledge and become stronger. All this royalty business was in the way of that. I was so sure Rey had gotten this one wrong. She couldn’t have possibly seen a future where I was happy being a wife.

“I know you must be upset about marrying him so soon,” Elisif broke the silence. She ran the brush through my now smooth hair. “But remember that you are going to be one of the first humans to be our queen. Everyone has great expectations of you.”

“What do you mean, first human queen?” I asked. I pushed the book off my lap and turned back around to face her.

She let my hair go and gave me a smile. “Usually the heir is a girl. Queen Gwendolyn was only able to have boys.” She brushed her strawberry hair behind her ear. “I shouldn’t say this, but after she had Jeremiah she was no longer able to conceive children. I think she’s pushing the wedding forward so you can be her daughter sooner.”

I knew patronages with goddesses were more woman centered societies, but it still threw me off that the heir was expected to be a girl. For me to be the queen must have been abnormal to put it lightly. I was surprised that people weren't opposed. Or maybe I just didn’t know of the opposers. I looked down at my crossed legs and cleared my throat. “Am I even qualified to rule this kingdom then?”

“I believe so,” Elisif said without hesitation. “Once you blood bond with Malachi, you have as much time as you need to prepare. With him, I think you will thrive.”

I didn’t know what else to say. Talking in certainties like that made me sad. Last week I had never even considered a prince would be my future. Now it was my only future. Elisif left me to sleep and I laid in the big empty bed alone. Would I really thrive with the Prince? My cheeks grew hot. I was only forming a crush on a man who was nice to me. Not anything serious. It embarrassed me to admit it. I had a small crush on him but I was marrying him tomorrow. I covered my face and groaned. I thought there would be more time.

Vi popped back into my thoughts again. Just a few days ago I had been considering a marriage with him. My life was so different from then. In the span of less than a week, I was a kingdom away and a newly found princess. I longed to tell Vi about what happened. No matter what happened to me, he was my friend. And he was a friend I told almost everything to. My heart ached with loneliness at the thought of not being able to confide in him.

I gasped in shock when I was nudged awake. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep. Elisif greeted me with her usual bright smile and turned to open my window. She let the cool night breeze trickle in and wake me up.

“Almost the new moon,” she commented. The moon was a sliver in the sky. It looked like a smile mocking me. The new moon meant change. And to think I had the same thought about my marriage to Telvin.

Elisif yanked me up to start dressing. I felt like it took so long every morning for her to dress me, but today was exceptionally complex. There were at least three extra layers more than usual. My wedding dress was large and far too flashy for my likes. I longed for the simple brown dress I used to wear. It was only two layers and was worn to my body. These dresses felt scratchy and stiff. Once my dress was on and pulled into perfection, she started on my hair. She took the jeweled pins to tie up braids into intricate loops upon my head. “Your hair is so beautiful,” she would always comment. She must have liked how long it was. I was beginning to think I should cut it all off. It would save hours of my life if she didn’t have to do it every evening.

Once Elisif was done, she placed the crown upon my head. I had been dreading the day I had to wear it. The thing had been hidden in the silk bag on my tea table since I came here. To be honest I avoided it like the plague. To my relief, none of the metal touched my scalp. I couldn’t imagine what my day would have been like if it was touching me. She took a step back to look at her handywork. It was as if I were a doll. My cheeks felt hot and I looked down at myself. The soft pink of the dress plumed out like a cloud around my legs. I bit my lip nervously. I wasn’t even sure I could walk in this thing.

Elisif and I were shown to our carriage. As we rode to the location, I was given a crash course in what I was meant to do. We were expected to get married in a few weeks, not today, so there were no rehearsals to prepare me. I was so nervous. I hoped it wouldn’t show. When you’re nervous you make more mistakes. I counted my breathing and tried to think of happy thoughts. Demarcus showing me the wonders of the forest, Vi coming to see me at the cottage every day, the Prince uttering my name in his honeyed accent. I felt my face get hot with the last thought. I most certainly had an embarrassingly huge crush on him.

When the carriage stopped, I was helped out. I straightened and almost fell over immediately. I hadn’t expected so many people to be here. It looked like everyone in Cerith was there. People of every patronage gathered in the streets, hung out windows, and stood on rooftops all around the town square. Some seats were filled out in front, packed with more people than I thought possible. Everyone was watching us, wanting to witness our binding. Everything seemed to be frozen. The world was quiet, waiting to watch our every move. It felt like even my heart stopped.

I was led up the right set of stairs and stopped at the top of them. Across the stage, the Prince stood as well. On queue we both started to walk toward the center. Prince Malachi was dressed in his usual dark green, but his outfit was more ornate. His coat had golden lining along the hem, his shirt ruffled out at the collar. His hair was carefully braided back this time instead of loosely tied. As we stepped closer I could also see he had his hands gloved. I felt relieved that he did that for me. I didn’t know if he was as nervous as me. Even if he was a fraction as nervous as me, I wouldn’t have been able to bear it.

He reached out his arm to lock elbows. I fumbled and got my hand caught in his sleeve. To my dismay, my hand trembled. I bit my lip and locked arms with him and we walked towards the back of the stage together. “You’re doing great, Princess,” he whispered to me. I felt my heart flutter.

We stopped in front of the arch. Flowers and vines were woven into the metal of the structure. Under it was the head Priestess of Leda. She had on a star robe and her circlet was adorned by a dazzling moonstone. She started the ceremony to bind us, asking all the gods to witness. She thrust a glass of wine in both of our hands. I found it hard to listen, but once she was done with her speech, the Prince held his glass to my lips. I drank a sip and did the same for him. He took a notably larger drink than I did. If he needed it I suppose.

“Now meet, for the goddess longs for it,” the priestess announced.

This was going to be the hard part for me. Just like traditional human weddings, I would need to kiss him. I had never even kissed Vi before. My first kiss would be with someone I’ve only known for a few days, in front of hundreds of strangers. The Prince looked into my eyes, searching for my thoughts. He could see right through me. I felt his gloved hands rest on my arms and he leaned down. I pushed myself up so it could be over fast. Our lips met for an instant. He pulled away as fast as he could, but the feeling still lingered. The warmth from him and his emotions. My cheeks got hot again and I tried to push away the fluttering in my stomach. I was so childish, but it made me feel giddy. He wanted to kiss me.

Everyone cheered. Flower petals were thrown at us and lanterns were set off just like at the parade. The city felt so alive with people every time I was out here. The Prince and I were led to a tall, wooden palanquin. It had a red curtain draped over the top. Beads the shape of the moon phases hung down proudly at each beam. Once we were seated, four men hoisted us up on their shoulders. We were carried through the streets for all to see. The Prince and I had our hands locked, sitting on the armrest between us. The glasses of wine were still held in our free hands. I was even more thankful for his gloves than I was before.

I felt the Prince lean closer to me. I blushed and looked over at him. He was inches away. He glanced over at me and then down to my hand on my lap. “Are you going to drink that?”

“What?”

“The wine,” he replied in a low voice.

I looked at my still full glass and then to his now empty one. “Oh, I guess not.”

He tilted his glass to me and I dumped my wine into it. I couldn’t tell if my hand was shaking or if it was just the bumpiness of being carried. He leaned back away from me and went back to sipping at his second glass. I almost felt disappointed he didn’t say much else to me the rest of our parade.

Once we made our way back into the palace grounds, Elisif was there to greet me. She took me back to my room and had me change into a more casual dress. It didn’t feel much more casual. It was made from the same material, the same color. It still reached the ground and made me feel itchy and uncomfortable. At least it was easier to walk in. She also took my hair out of the complicated style she had done from the morning and put it in a loose-fitting knot. The excess length fell down my left shoulder. The crown unfortunately remained. It was awkwardly heavy on my head, tugging slightly at the hairs that held it up. After my lady-in-waiting was satisfied with how I looked, she pulled me back down the winding halls, my head spinning. I felt like I would never get used to this sprawling palace.

We entered a grand ballroom. The ceiling was so high it was humbling. It looked like it reached as high as the sky itself. Large and sparkling chandeliers hung over us, the glass on them shining like precious gems. Beautiful, detailed paintings adorned the walls and took my breath away. I wondered how many hours it took to complete even one of them. Some were scenes of landscapes. Rolling hills and mountains cut by winding rivers. Some paintings were no doubt portraits of royal family members. On one wall there were tables full of food and drinks. There was significantly more meat than at my welcome party. A large portion of it was almost raw too, dripping with blood. I suppose this is how vampires partied.

“Princess,” someone already started calling. It was the Queen. She bowed low to me and gave me a brilliant smile. Her eyes were bright and her smile lit the room. “How is the day finding you? You look so stunning today,” she said.

I bowed back and gave her the nicest smile I could muster. “Thank you, my Queen,” I replied.

“I am sorry about the rushed ceremony. Some things have come to my attention and it was in everyone’s best interest to move the date forward. I hope this didn’t cause you too much trouble.” She placed a hand on my back and led me over to the food tables. I was glad she showed me to the table of actually cooked food. “You may help yourself to whatever you like. The rest of the day is yours. It is your wedding day after all.”

“Thank you,” I repeated. “And the change was no trouble at all.” I gave her another smile.

She placed a glass of wine in my hand and grabbed one for herself. “I’m glad to hear it. Elisif will tell you of your schedule that starts later this week. I thought I’d give you a few days to settle before your classes.”

“Classes?” I asked. Elisf had mentioned them before, but I didn’t know much else about it.

“Yes,” she replied quickly. Before she could elaborate, something caught her attention across the room. “Oh, excuse me,” she sighed. She took a large drink from her glass and sat it down. She rushed off to whatever caught her eye. Like mother, like son, I thought.

I sipped at my glass and looked over the table for what they had to offer. I grabbed a small cube of cheese and popped it into my mouth. It was a sharp cheddar. I didn’t get to eat cheese often. I have gotten to eat a lot of new things since coming here. I scanned the table again, setting my glass down and thinking about what to try next. Some of these things I didn’t even know what they were. I’m sure whatever it was it would taste amazing. I had grown a taste for sweets. I loved tarts and candies. I searched for those above anything else. One thing I didn’t miss about my small cottage was how bland the food was there.

My moment of peace was broken though. “Princess,” I heard called behind me again. I recognized the voice too. It was Prince Grandle. I dreaded the conversation with him. He had been crude, to put it simply. I knew I had to be as polite as I could, but he made it unbelievably difficult.

I turned to see he was already far too close to me for comfort. “Hello,” I greeted.

“Would you like to share a dance with me?” He stretched his hand out to me. I glanced down at it and stepped back. His hands were bare. A chill went down my spine.

“No thank you. I have had a long evening so far,” I said nervously.

“Nonsense,” he laughed. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the dance floor.

His feelings raced up my arm from where he grabbed me on the wrist. There were so many things swirling around. The fog mixed in my mind and made my head spin. I could have pulled away with discomfort, but I resisted the urge. I had to practice and now was a perfect time. If he was insistent on touching me, I might as well make it productive. As he clasped his hand in mine and rested the other on my hip, I focused on what I was feeling instead of what he was feeling. I needed to keep my own thoughts in the forefront so I wouldn't get lost like I usually did.

However he interrupted my thoughts by talking, much to my ire. “How have you liked the kingdom so far?”

I blinked, trying to move past the mist. “I like it,” I muttered. He led me across the dancefloor with ease. If I had to dance I was glad he was leading. I had never danced like this before in my life. He grinned at people who saw us.

“That’s good. I could show you some special spots in the palace if you like,” he replied. “I can’t imagine my cousin gave you a very thorough tour.”

“Prince Malachi showed me enough,” I said. I thought back to our time at the beach. That thought pushed away a lot of the blur from what I felt from Prince Grandle. It made it more bearable to keep touching.

Soon I felt another hand on my arm though. They had been careful to grab me over my sleeve though. I turned to see Elisif and I felt my shoulders relax. “Princess, I hope Grandle isn’t making you uncomfortable,” she said, giving him a side look.

“I wasn’t, was I Princess?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I. . .” I felt the words die on my tongue. I blinked rapidly as I thought I was seeing double. Once my mind cleared though, I recognized Lunette. I audibly sighed, thankful I wasn’t going crazy.

“I’m sure Grandle was causing you discomfort,” she said. The man swiveled and gave his twin a fiery look.

“Lunette,” he hissed.

“Leave the ladies to talk, little boy,” she smirked. She flicked his forehead.

“Don’t patronize me,” he snapped back. He nudged her away roughly with his elbow.

“Are you alright?” Elisif asked, her eyes full of concern.

I watched as the twins bickered and walked towards the other side of the ballroom. “I’m fine,” I told her. “Have you spoken to your mother for me?” I asked. I wanted more than anything to get my mind off of Grandle. His thoughts were alarming and I wanted them cleared from my mind as fast as possible.

“Ah, no. Here, I can actually go find her now,” Elisif replied, her tone suggesting that she had forgotten. I sighed, knowing there was a lot on her plate. I couldn’t get mad at her for it. “Please, enjoy the night though. I will be back for you later, okay?”

“Okay,” I said in a small voice. I sighed as my only friend disappeared out of the ballroom. I was alone once again. I didn’t see her for hours after that.

The party passed faster than I thought it would even if I was waiting for Elisif. Some people offered to dance with me. I declined and stayed close to the wine table. I might have had too much to drink as well. When Elisif took me back to my room at mid-morning, I felt lightheaded. I didn’t even have the mind to ask her about my mother again. We entered my room and she undressed me like usual. I didn’t even realize she had put me in a different sleep dress than the one I was used to until it was fully on.

“What’s this?” I asked. I looked down at the more defined waistline. It was tight to my skin instead of loose and comfortable. This slip fell just above my knees instead of half way to the floor.

“You will be spending the night in your new room,” she said. Her eyebrows knitted together as she waited for my response.

It took me longer to connect the dots than I'd like to admit. I forgot that the Prince and I were now husband and wife. I was expected to sleep in his room from now on. I shuddered at the thought of what else was expected of us. I had barely kissed for the first time. I felt my cheeks get hotter than they already were from the wine. “I can’t,” I cried out.

Elisif didn’t say anything. She went to the door and waited for me to follow. I felt my knees shake as I stepped forward. “You aren’t going to let me stay, are you?”

“It would be seen as improper for you not to at least spend tonight with Malachi,” Elisif said.

I ground my teeth and eventually mustered the courage to walk forward. “Alright. Show me to his room.”

She opened the door and I followed behind. She walked straight across the hall to the identical door there. She gestured for me to open it myself. I lost all the courage to walk over.

“You mean to tell me he’s been across the hall the entire time?” I squeeked.

Elisif tilted her head in confusion. “He didn’t mention it?”

“No.”

She gave a light, airy laugh. She crossed the hall again and led me by my shoulders. I felt her hand brush against my skin and the mist that crept up to my head was only a soft and gentle feeling. She was trying to encourage me. “Don’t feel so nervous, Iara,” she whispered into my ear. She placed me just inside the door and shut it firmly behind me.

I pulled the fabric of the form fitting slip and took another step in. The room looked spotless. There was a very neatly organized dark wooden writing desk. In the center of the room was a set of comfortable looking chairs and a low tea table. The wood of the table matched the writing desk. On the back wall was a floor to ceiling window overlooking the city and a door to a balcony. Just outside the glass doors there was a small metal table and chairs for two. Dark curtains were askew letting in the warm sunlight. On the right wall was another door to what I assumed to be the bedroom. I didn’t even know people could inhabit such large spaces and still feel comfortable.

“Um, hello?” I called into the other room.

I heard the door behind me open again. I almost jumped out of my own skin. I turned quickly to see Prince Malachi enter. He looked surprised. He was still in the outfit from the wedding ceremony, a trey of tea and a small assortment of snacks in his hands. Under his arm was tucked a worn old book. His eyes were underlined by dark circles. “Princess,” he greeted, his voice flat. His green eyes flicked around the room in slight amazement.

“Elisif shoved me in here,” I told him.

He nodded once and walked past me to put his trey down on the tea table. “It was probably instruction from my mother so don’t blame her,” he replied. He turned to sit in one of the chairs and gestured to the one across from him. “You may sit and share tea with me if you’d like.”

I awkwardly sat in the soft chair next to him. I pulled the neatly folded throw blanket off the back of the chair. I draped it over myself, pulling it over my chest. I felt far too exposed in this dress. “I-I know what’s expected of us,” I stammered.

I could see his shoulders tighten as he started to pour tea into his single cup. He sat the pot back down and slid a saucer over to me. He even added a small muffin next to the teacup. After what felt like forever, he spoke. “I don’t think I’m quite ready.” His voice held shame in it and the very tips of his pointy ears turned pink.

I almost cried with relief. My eyes watered and I covered my face with my hands. “Oh, thank the gods,” I mumbled.

“You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to either,” he added. The crunch startled me but when I looked back over at him he had an apple in his hand.

“Can we talk?” I asked without thinking. The words just spilled right out of my mouth.

“Yes,” he replied. His eyes met mine. “About what?”

“About. . .” My mind drew a blank. I don’t know what I was trying to do. I should have gone back across the hall. What would Vi think if he saw me like this? Crushing on a man I barely knew. He would tell me how childish I was being. “About you,” I eventually said. I cursed myself for being so dumb. How smooth. I was really charming.

“About me,” the Prince repeated. He took another loud bite of his apple. “Are you sure that’s what you’d like to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I find you interesting.” My face grew warm. I pressed my hand to my cheek and let out a nervous laugh.

“I suppose we’re married now so if you do want to know anything. . .” He hesitated, looking down to his lap “But why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling first? Tonight was tiring to say the least.”

“It was,” I said lamely. I didn’t want to talk about my feelings. His words at the beach made my heart skip though. He was one of the first people to ever ask me what I felt. It was so easy for people to push their feelings onto me that they often forgot I had my own. I think that was the biggest problem Vi and I had. Even through all his good intentions, his feelings would always overpower my own.

He put the apple down and leaned forward, reaching for a small muffin. He tore it in half, eating the top of it first. He turned to me as he chewed, waiting for more. When nothing more came out of my mouth, he spoke. “That’s all?”

I pulled my legs up to fold them under me. “I was nervous,” I mumbled. “The wedding was so soon after coming here. We’re already married and I barely know a thing about you.”

He heaved a sigh and nodded in agreement. “I suppose it’s worse for you. At least I knew I would marry someone I never met.”

I played with the fabric of the blanket that covered my legs. “I only found out a few days ago, right before the carriage came to pick me up.”

He shook his head. “Lady Rey is mad.”

“How long did you know?” I asked.

The Prince leaned forward to pick up his apple again. “It was right after Jer was born. I was nine.”

“Nine?” I gasped. At nine I would have been irate if someone told me something like that. To find out you were marrying a stranger at such a young age sounded horrific.

He shrugged as he sank his teeth into his apple again. “It was a fact of my life. No use in worrying about it. We’re married now in sight of all the gods. Better to make light of it than be upset.”

He was right. There was no use in crying over things that are already done. His words seemed to wash away my worries. I liked being around him. I was surrounded by people who calmed me rather than those who amplified my anxieties. I felt my fondness for Prince Malachi grow. My eyes stung with tears. Before I could even blink them away, they ran down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands, the blanket falling into my lap.

“Are you okay, Princess?” he asked in an alarmed tone.

“I like you,” I whispered. Telvin floated through my mind again. Guilt spread in my chest. Was it so easy to like someone else after you left someone?

“What?” He sounded bewildered.

“I like you,” I said louder, uncovering my face to look at him.

He furrowed his brows at me. “Well, I would hope so. We’ve just got married.”

I covered my mouth to stop the laugh, but it still came out. “You’re right.”

“Are you drunk, Princess?” His lips twisted into an amused smile, exposing his fangs. I liked the way a smile made the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly.

I didn’t say. He already knew the answer. “Can you call me by my name?” I asked after a moment of hesitation.

“I think you should go lay down. I will take you to your room.” He stood and gestured for me to get up.

I stood, taking in a shaky breath. “I want to stay here.” I reached out to tug at his sleeve. I was careful not to touch his skin, but I longed to be close with him.

Prince Malachi’s face reddened. It looked forgien on his otherwise stoic face. He reached out to clasp my hand, but fell short. He let his hand drop to his side again. “Let me take you back to your room, Iara,” he replied softly.

I looked up at him through my lashes. “I want to stay here,” I insisted. My room felt too big for just me. The emptiness made me dread going back.

“Then at least go lay down. You need to rest.”

“In your bed?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I don’t know what other bed would be in my room.”

I let him lead me to the only other door. The room beyond was dark. The only light that came through was from the doorway. The bed was bigger than the one I had been sleeping on. It had a velvet canopy colored a deep red. There seemed to be a hundred pillows at the head, fluffed and cozy looking. His sheets were smooth and glossy. I let go of his sleeve and climbed into the giant bed.

“How do you use so much space?” I asked.

“I only use this portion,” he replied, motioning to where I sat.

I crawled deeper into the cave-like space and gestured for him to join me. He got on the bed next to me, his legs stretched out and his arms propping him up behind him. I laid my head on one of his many pillows and closed my eyes. “Will you touch my hair?” I whispered.

I felt the bed shift and then a gentle hand on my head. It reminded me of when I was a little girl. After my mother disappeared, I had an extremely hard time sleeping. The only way I could get to bed was if Rey or Demarcus pet my hair. It was soothing, one of the only ways I could feel physical contact with someone without my blessing being triggered. It always puts me right to sleep. I would never tell anyone, not even Vi, that I still would ask Rey to do it from time to time. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm me.

His hand petting my hair lulled me right to sleep.