It’s hard to describe the feeling of being utterly fucked. It’s a feeling in your gut that combines a spike of adrenaline and fear of shitting your pants. The goblin chieftain gave a deep roar as he stomped up to us. The other goblin warriors jumped back and shrieked with what I assumed was joy.

“How are we supposed to take that on?” I asked.

“Uh,” Shawn stammered. “Very carefully.” He laughed nervously and moved to my side. “In most games, bosses have some kind of weakness.”

“Has this felt like most games to you?”

“No, no it has not,” my friend replied.

The chieftain kicked up dirt with one foot and then the other before leaning down and readying its shoulder for a charge. “Let it pass, we might find a pat-” I nearly bit my tongue off when I lurched out of the way. The giant goblin moved way faster than I had expected it to and stampeded right at us.

When the beast passed between us, it stopped took a moment to regain its balance and turned quickly, swinging a large club to ward off any attacks we might have tried. “That’s a real short window to attack,” I said.

“Maybe he has some other kind of weakness?” offered Shawn. The green-skinned chieftain lumbered toward us and swung the club at me. It was quick, almost too quick for me to dodge. The beast then took a running jump, bringing the club down where Shawn was a second ago.

“We need to get the fuck out of here!” I yelled. “We can’t take him!” The giant goblin turned back around toward me, and I jogged backwards until my back hit the cave wall. Our enemy leaned down and set its shoulder for another charge. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

The monster came at like a freight train. Waiting for the last second, I rolled out of the way. The huge goblin rammed into the stone wall and stumbled back holding its head. Shawn wasted no time, he ran over and started slashing the beast’s back. As soon as I joined, the goblin let out a deep roar and wound up to swing his club. My friend and I leapt back just in time to see the huge piece of wood nearly take our noses off.

“I think we just found our pattern,” said Shawn. “Get as far away as you can, hug the walls!” The club narrowly missed him. Again, we separated and ran in different directions. I saw the chieftain lock onto Shawn’s movement and bear down for a charge. Running at it as quickly as I could, we both charged my friend.

Shawn dodged at the last minute and our hulking enemy crashed into the wall and staggered backwards. I was right on its heels, slashing with my short sword. My friend was quick to join as we chopped the shit out of its back. The beast roared, black blood seeping from its back. Shawn and I jumped back, waiting for the counter attack.

At a safe distance, I noticed that our opponent’s health was down by a third. “I think a few more times might kill it,” I said. Shawn nodded.

The next couple times we tried the bait and stun allowed us to take the goblin chieftain’s health down to below half. As practiced, Shawn and I leapt back but instead of a narrowly missed counter attack, the giant goblin howled and beat his club against the ground in rage. It jumped up and came down hard, cracking the ground and creating a shockwave of dust.

“What the fuck was that?” I said absently. The beast ran at us and jumped high in the air. I began to run the other way when it crashed down between my Shawn and I, the shockwave sending us both tumbling to the ground. I groggily climbed to his feet. I looked over to find Shawn doing the same when the attack came.

The chieftain’s club smashed Shawn back down onto the ground. A -15 appeared over my friend. Shit. The giant goblin had to be lucky just once to kill me, where my friend and I had to be lucky every time just to hurt it. The monster roared and Shawn rolled out of the way and ran to a safe distance. The remaining smaller goblins backed off farther and cheered their chieftain on.

We both backed up to the cavern walls. Instead of chasing us, the huge goblin smashed its foot down, breaking the rock floor. It picked up a large rock and hurled it at me. I didn’t dodge so much as fall out of the way and heard the stone shattered on the cavern wall where my head had been. The entire nature of the fight had changed.

I jumped to my feet and ran forward, just out of the large goblin’s reach. “We can’t bait it like that anymore,” I shouted. Shawn leaped out of the way as our enemy’s club smashed where he’d been standing. The next strike came almost immediately, the club swung sideways. Shawn flopped on the ground as the hunk of wood flew over his body.

Another immediate attack came at Shawn, who rolled out of the way and hopped to his feet just in time to see the club coming back at him. “Fuck!” he screamed, while running backward. I couldn’t stand by any longer, couldn’t let my friend fight alone.

The giant goblin staggered with its last attack. It had overextended itself, stumbled forward and fell to one knee. “It’s our chance!” I yelled, running at the monster’s back. My short sword registered damage while my friend made it over just in time to get a slash in.

A booming roar alerted us to an incoming counterattack and sent us jumping backwards. The chieftain stood and swung its club in a circle around it, staggering to a stop. “That’s it,” I said. We just have to get close, let it take it’s four swings and attack it from behind.”

“I guess it’s your turn,” he said, backing away and wheezing from exertion. The beast lumbered toward me and my confidence faded with each heavy step. I dodged left, the club landed next to me. I dropped to the ground to dodge the next swing. Rolling out of the way, the third attack pummeled the rock where I had lain. Finally, I jumped up and out of the way of the fourth swing.

The giant goblin staggered and dropped to one knee as it had the last time. Shawn and I were quick on its heels. We attacked with all that we were worth. When the creature’s bellow came, my last strike registered and sword sliced through its spine, sending an arc of black blood through the air.

LvL 5 Goblin Chieftain slain, +150 Exp.

With a high pitched cry, the goblin chieftain fell face down. All the small goblins that were rooting against us all shrieked in what was probably terror and ran off in every direction, finding the nearest tunnel and booking it. I dropped to my knees and my head swam with victory. “I feel like I’m going to throw up,” I mumbled. Sweat was dripping down my neck and my breath was quick and shallow. “If you throw up in Deep Dive, do you puke in real life?”

I looked over to find Shawn lying on his back. “I need a sec,” he said. “I don’t know if I need to lie down or take a shit. On the plus side,” he continued, “I leveled up.”

After a moment of rest, I stood and walked over to the huge corpse and with a smile that beamed satisfaction, I looted the creature.

+40 Gold

Broken Key Shard (3 of 3) (mission item)

“Well would ya look at that?” I said between breaths, closing the item window. “We have all the pieces to the broken key.”

“Great,” said Shawn. “Now how do we find what it unlocks?”

I looked back into my inventory, the three shards had combined into one item. I selected the key and a prompt came up: Use Key? Odd, it didn’t look like there was a door near us. I selected the option and saw my character reach into his pockets and pull out the key.

The item pulsed with golden energy which shot a golden-yellow beam out of it like a big firefly shooting down the tunnel to our right and then vanished. “The fuck was that?” said Shawn. Before I could answer, another beam quickly sped out of the item and snaked down the tunnel, lingering for a moment, then vanished as the first had.

“I think...I think it’s some kind of sonar,” I guessed. “I guess whatever it unlocks is this way.”

“Get ready for a boss fight,” said Shawn as he walked into the tunnel. “This one’s definitely going to be harder.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “Great. Khugor, here we come.” My throat went dry as I walked into the tunnel.