《The Heart of Alastair》Chapter Seven: From the Soil with Older Kinship
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Icara skeptically raised an eyebrow at what Lilith had just told her. “I’m something of an expert on murders, and you don’t look very murdered to me.
“You mean he never told you about the destruction of the Desert Rose? The official report is that a terrible monster tore through my homeland, killing the entirety of the capital in a stunning display of gore,” she answered before leaning forward. “Truth is, that’s only partially right. Gwindon was taken over by the monster... a demon, and killed the people himself. He’s a swordsman beyond measure, and was of some renown for it. That’s probably how he wasn’t swarmed by too many at once. Our people scattered into the desert, but didn’t fare much better out there. I was one of the last people he attacked, and just barely managed to survive myself.”
She tapped the large scar above her eyes and stood straight up again. Icara took a moment to think about what she said. Lilith tried to approach, but Icara only held up a hand to stop her. The halos of her eyes transfixed onto the other woman.
“Gwindon has been trying to avoid conflict the entire time he’s been with me, what makes you think I’d believe he could kill an entire city by himself? If you’re really going to say a demon somehow took control of his mind, you’re insane. Why would he be acting the way he has so far if he was a demon?”
“What, you expect me to spill everything I know just cause you’ve got a scary look on your face?” Lilith asked with a laugh. “Come on, now that I know he’s here, I’m going to go pay him a visit. Where is he?”
“Captured by the—” she started. “Wait, I thought you said he tried to kill you, why would you want to meet him again?!”
Lilith paused in her approach and gave her a baffled look. “He’s still my husband, little girl. If he’s been captured by another merc, I’m going to flay the bastards and let them soak in baths of seawater...” she muttered as she flexed her fists.
Icara considered for a moment before she turned in the other direction and began walking. The leader from before held up his sword to stop her and she just glared. To her surprise, he looked at Lilith and finally lowered his weapon with a grumble. She looked back to the older woman in confusion, but Lilith just smiled. Icara hung her head low and grit her teeth before pushing him out of the way.
“Fine! Come on, I’ve got an idea where they took him...” Icara muttered before pointing a finger at Lilith. “But you’re going to explain what happened along the way, I’m not going to let you claim something like that about Gwindon without merit.”
The older woman approached with her arms folded. “What, did you fall for him or something? That’s adorable.”
“He bought me food twice now, and hasn’t tried to actively murder me yet, so he’s on the road to sainthood,” she said before leaning against a wall and looking down. “Well... aside from that one time I swung at him because I thought he was going to turn me over to the city guard.”
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Lilith sent the mercenary accompanying her out to get a hood for Icara. The both of them waited in the alley for his return, but lacked a need for conversation. Both looked over the other for any sign of a past. Lilith read the various nicks and tears on Icara’s clothes like a storybook, casually picking out how she got each. Icara was less observant on the past, and focused on assessing the taller woman’s abilities. The combo of two swords and a shield gave off a sense of diverse training.
By the time the man had returned, both women were openly scanning over the other’s body. His entrance drew both their sudden attention, the predatory instinct they’d been building soothed by his jump. He grumbled at his own response, but gave Icara the covering she’d need to move unimpeded. Unlike her previous works, this one was much better at covering her features, the hood even offering a bit of shade to obscure the reflection of her irises. With the disguise taken care of, she led them down the alley ways with a quick stride.
Lilith managed to keep pace with ease and leaned over to her. “You seem pretty well versed in the back alleys of this city. Has Gwindon been helping strays like you a lot these past few years?”
“This is my home, of course I’d know where I’m going... or at least, I’m fairly certain of how to get there. Haven’t been home in many years, and the city is far larger than I ever remember it being. All this building must’ve taken a lot of work and money,” she commented, pausing to look up and down a street they came to. “I feel both pride, and shame at the idea of it.”
“For a girl who’s been on the run for a decade, you sure have a strong sense of home, don’t you?”
Icara looked back bewildered as she entered the empty road. “Where do you think I’ve been searching for all of these years? I’ve had to kill to get back here, of course I would feel an attachment to it. The only trouble is I remember this place as a pleasant town with a wooden wall. All this brick and mortar, the winding roads and industry, it feels... foreign. I spent all this time trying to get home, and even that has been taken from me while I was away...”
She paused at the next alley, holding a hand against one of the buildings and looking up at its imposing height. Lilith shook her hand and leant over to the man still with them. He gave a quick nod to her whispered command and shot Icara a cautious glare before hurrying away. The older woman moved forward and put a hand on Icara’s shoulder, making her jump. Lilith didn’t retract her hand, despite Icara’s eyes locking onto it.
“If you’re feeling disconnected from the place, try not to think of it as your home anymore. The places we remember are always different when we get back to them, so don’t try and chase the past. Does that make sense?”
Icara’s eyes softened and became distant. “All I have left are memories, it’s impossible for me to let go of them that easily.”
“No one said anything about letting go, just recognizing things are different now,” Lilith explained, pulling her hand away. “I’ve had my home destroyed multiple times now, different circumstances for each. I can do all the remembering I want of those times, but it’s not going to bring them back. Best you can do is pick up the pieces and carry them with you to somewhere new.”
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Icara turned her head down to a puddle at her feet. The light was low as evening approached, but she could still see a faint outline of herself in the murky water. Its image shifter and distorted rapidly, making it hard to be sure it was actually her. She tried to recall the memories of her childhood, but could only pick up fragments in that moment. There were feelings and smells, trivia about her parents at best, but nothing that felt as if it mattered to this mimicry of her hometown. She felt a touch on her head and looked up at Lilith with a faded glare, met with a large grin.
“Heh, you remind me of myself when I was your age. Couple of tragedies in your life and the whole world starts looking like nothing. You go on living, struggling by any means you can, but you never bother to think of why. Spite, revenge, hatred, they start feeling like the only things in your life that really matter. Why not, right? They’re just as real as love or sadness, but at least they make you do something about it.”
Icara didn’t say anything, but turned and continued down the path. Lilith quickly caught up to her and put an arm over her shoulder. The younger girl tried to struggle, but Lilith kept her grip firm as she wagged a finger in front of Icara’s face.
“Listen, you can’t just let those emotions sit in the back of your head. Sure it’s good to hate things, but you’ve got to balance it out with love as well. You have to have both or you’ll start to do things you regret, and hurt people close to you...” Lilith drifted off before lowering her finger and stepping away. “Hey, let’s just stay quiet for a bit and keep moving, alright?”
She moved ahead of Icara without looking back. The streets were slowly gaining in traffic as the day wound down, people returning to their homes or passing to the gates of the city. Icara remembered the shock of discovering the city again some time ago, at the sight that it had grown so fast. They rounded another bend before Lilith grabbed onto her shoulder to stop.
“We’re close to the place now, if you were—” she began to explain.
Lilith rubbed the scar on her face, giving a worried look to Icara. “Has... has Gwindon ever mentioned me before? I’m not sure you’ve known him for very long, but still.”
“Back when we were at the office for the church and state, he found out you were the only survivor of your country’s fall. Didn’t get a good look at his face, but he did say that you were his wife then. He seemed surprised you had lived, actually.” Icara mentioned before turning herself completely around and looking up to Lilith. “Didn’t you ever try and contact him before this?”
“I did tell you we tried to kill each other last time we met, right?” Lilith asked with a sigh. “Truth is, I forgave him a long time ago. The whole situation was just a big mistake when the kingdom fell. Once I figured everything out, I wanted to go and tell him what happened, but I was... scared.”
“Scared of him? I suppose that makes sense if he was taken over by a demon like you claim. Far as I can tell there’s nothing to fear though. Gwindon has stopped me from getting into fights at every chance he can get. Honestly, if it weren’t for the time I attacked him, I would’ve said he was a pacifist.”
“What I was scared of was that he wouldn’t see things the way I do. I... look, I’m going to sound terrible here, I know, but I attacked him first. When I woke up, he was surrounded by bodies. Some of them were knights, and some were soldiers... but there were also noblemen and women littered in the halls. There was so much death, and he was just there at the center of it, panting like a wild animal. I wanted some kind of justice, some kind of logic to cling to, so I lashed out and attacked him. I took a blow to the face, a glancing one but still a hit, and would’ve died had it not been for the—” Lilith caught herself and looked away.
Icara stepped back and crossed her arms. “Look, it’d be better for the both of us if you just told me the whole story at this point. You’ve painted Gwindon in a bad position this whole time and I’m getting a little sick of it. Whatever secret you’re hiding that makes you look bad, just spill it.”
“I know, I know... you’re just a kid though, I’m not sure it’d be wise for me to start spouting off personal stuff like that,” she explained with a laugh. “Besides, you haven’t told me anything about yourself. I’ve already gotten some intelligence on you from some of the mercs under my wing, but I don’t know how much of it to rely on. Frankly, I assumed you’d murder me the second we locked eyes from what I’d heard.”
“As if I’d trust a mercenary with my life story,” Icara said with a turn on her heel.
“You’re helping me to save Gwindon, right? That means I trust you. The old fool is stubborn as a rock, but he at least recognizes a good person when he sees them. Fell in love with me, after all!” she said, poking a thumb at her chest. “Course he’s always a brick wall when it comes to new folks. He’s got a good sword arm and tactical mind, but its hard for him to not consider that. Always acts like he can get out of any situation, so he doesn’t really consider how the other person feels when he’s talking to you... point is, if I trust you, then you should trust me back.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t trust me then. Gwindon only got caught because I brought him to that office. Damned archpriest would’ve never known who he was if I didn’t bring him along with me...”
Lilith moved back into Icara’s line of sight and held her arms out. “Hey, not all bad, right? The church is only looking for you, I’m sure they’ll just question him a bit and let him go before they keep hunting for you. He might get held in an inquisition cell for a few days though, but a blood trial would prove—” she caught herself as the color drained from her face. “We need to rescue him now. Icara, you need to take me to where they’re holding him as soon as possible.”
“Why the sudden rush? What would a blood trial prove?”
She grabbed Icara by the shoulders. “He was possessed before, what if the demon’s presence still left trace amounts inside of him?! If the crusade finds a positive test, they’ll condemn him to death on the spot!”
The realization swept over Icara, her own face turning pale before she nodded. The two of them rushed off, hiding the guilt they felt from the other.
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