《The immortal snail problem》Page 1 - The immortal snail problem
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“You get 10 million coins, but a magic immortal snail will spawn within 10 kilometers of you. It is as fast as a regular snail, but it will always be chasing you. If it touches you - you die. Do you take the deal?”
As soon as I have read the deal message, a cold barrel of a tremendous gun gently touched my cheek.
“I hope you won’t be playing games with us and make the single correct choice in this situation.”
I looked around, my eyes losing focus every other moment. We stood in a big wooden warehouse. The floor was covered with wet hay and dirt. A distinct fish smell and distant swearing indicated port somewhere near.
I touched my nape and found a significant nub there along with hair glued from coagulated blood.
“Let’s get over with it, chuck.” Two ripped dudes stood beside me, one wielding a gun, and the other, with a giant iron pole strapped to his back, held the end of a rope with which my arms were tied.
I looked down at the arms and up at the dudes.
“You can press the button even with your arms tied.”
I closed my eyes to rest a bit but opened them almost immediately because a barrel would not let me relax.
“Wha..hlhtn..whats makes you not to kill me.. afters.. afterswards?” My tongue was barely moving inside my mouth, and my cracked lips made me sound like an overgrown snake, but my brain, at last, started to work.
The one with the gun grimaced.
“I swear on the Big Bertha of Fishsmelly Valley, we will let you go after your Initiation is over” The slots machine before me shined so brightly I lost my sight for several moments, and somehow I knew that they won’t be able to break this promise. After my vision came back to me, my arms were already untied, and blood started to fill my palms with tripled vigor.
“Satisfied? Now do it!”.The sense of all events that were happening around was slipping my mind. I did not understand the situation at all. All I knew that they want some magical snail to chase me to death. I knew that death is terrible, also, but dying from a bullet in the brain may come faster than from a distant snail.
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With a still rigid and numb index finger, I pressed a big round red button on the slot machine before me.
“Are you sure?” It asked. I looked at the dude with a gun with a questioning stare.
“Aren’t you sure you want to live?” - He said, his gun pressing a bit harder on my face. I was sure and pressed the red button once more.
“Are you completely sure?”. This time I pressed the button without the gun’s reassurance.
“As it is your Initiation, you can decline the initial condition up to three times. Are you sure you don’t want to use this option?” This time gun reassured me without my will. Red button it is.
After several more confirmation questions, I stopped reading them and pressed the red button automatically, counting presses. I counted twenty-two till rapidly and involuntarily passed out. During my falling onto the ground, the last thought before becoming unconscious was about a night sky - I really wanted to see a night sky.
Waking up was rough this time. My head hurt like hell. The vision was completely blurred, and the field of view was blocked by some dirty patch. Trying to move my head made me nauseated, so I’ve decided not to risk it.
New personages entered the room during my naptime. I did not see them, only heard. They were arguing, and the argument clearly peaked some time ago, now entering the constructive phase.
“He barely alive. If he died, you both would wish to join him and you with them. Explain to us one more time, calmly, how it happen.” - This guy had this calm, confident voice with barely noticeable anger in it, and a weird accent. He sounded like he was hit with a pole not once but twice, both times aiming in his head.
“He pressed the belly to confirm the deal, but numerous confirmation messages started to appear. He started to confirm them. Crab and Tadpole watched him doing it.” - I expected that the guys who were guarding me would be talking, but it seemed their superior came to take responsibility.
“Is it something usual?” - The guy with a confident voice asked someone, who remained silent till this time.
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“No. But it is not unseen. The Book is all about balance and opportunity.”, - This was a female voice, a voice of a powerful and dangerous woman. She approached me and bowed to look closer. - ”You hear that? It is your lucky day.”- She moved to a slot machine. “One million coins will be granted immediately after you choose talent from suggested.” - It sounded like she was reading the message from a slot machine screen.
“Yes. After some amount of confirmation screens, another message appeared which said something like: Would you like to choose talent from a suggested list instead of nine million coins. As our perp was pressing the belly automatically, he confirmed that one also.” - this was, once more, my guard’s superior, and I started to understand why I am laying on the ground with a major headache.
“As I was saying, the Book is all about balance and opportunity. The Author wouldn’t let us get 10 million coins - it would make us too influential in this area. He would not let this poor guy bear only a Big Bertha’s curse without her blessing, also. I assume robbing us of all the money was not the option since we put our thought and work into this operation. I think that one million is a good outcome considering the situation.”
“We did similar things countless times, and it worked. Why is this one different?”
“The jackpot is just too big this time, Markus. Wrap it up here.” - The woman walked out from a warehouse.
The confident man approached me and squat before. He took my head by my chin and moved it from side to side. From his grip, one of my teeth almost fell out of its socket.
“This number tattoo under left eye - hundred and thirty-two - what does it mean?” - Silence was his answer. “Either way, it don’t matter anymore. Tadpole, your pole left a mark on his head with the word Tad. Again. How many times I told you to remove those engravings?” - It sounded like the thing he should have said but have known it won’t be executed. - “After we are done here, that mark is cut off his forehead, got it?” - It sounded as it would be executed for sure.
“Listen to me very attentively.” - he turned my head so I could see his eyes. If I could see something, of course, except for the blurry patch. - “You choose that talent that cost us nine million in next five minutes, and you die painlessly. You refuse to comply - you know what it is like to be hurt and only after that die. I am willing to lose one million after I lost nine, already.”
“If you don’t know how to do it, just focus on the page with the text before your sight and follow the instructions” - It turned out the woman was still around. Somehow I imagined her leaning at the door frame.
It appeared to be pretty straightforward. Dirty patch before my inner sight became more concrete as soon as I tried to focus on it. It was a page torn off from some book with the list of possible talents. The header of the list served as an instruction - I had to imagine the number and write ‘deal’ with an imaginary pen at the right corner of the page. The list was short and incomprehensible:
Epic:
Sporadic teleportation Flittermouse wings Alternating speed
Legendary:
Conditional immortality
Divine(Costs 10 million coins. The blessing and curse conditions are changed.):
Death trailway Afterlife vacancy Stars favorite
At that very moment, I felt a tremendous amount of self-pity. Why all these things were happening to me. I just wanted to be..um.. I didn’t even know who I was.
I was tired and hurt. I was lost and disoriented. I was… I was angry.
And I just wanted to see the night sky.
At that very moment, I made my choice.
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